On march 21st my girlfriend of a year and two months broke up with me. She was my first serious relationship and I was pretty happy with things, she just decided that we weren't "right" for each other and were at different stages in our lives and decided to break things off.

For the first week or two I was OK. In fact I felt fine.

Then sometime after that I just fell apart.

The first week or so after that I just felt awful. I felt terrible all the time, I felt like crying every time I thought about her. Wasn't eating properly or sleeping very well.

I feel slightly better now but that feeling of despair is still there and just won't seem to go away. Every time I think about her I get this "twinge" in my stomach and I feel empty inside. EVERY DAY when I wake up, the first thought that goes through my head is that she's gone, and I get that same twinge. My diet is still messed up, I'm not eating like I used to (often not hungry for long periods of time, haven't been eating breakfast, very late dinners, etc). I still often have a hard time falling asleep, and I often seem to have dreams about her that result in me waking up with my stomach churning and I can't fall back asleep. Every time I think about one of our good memories I just want to cry.

I've been trying to move on but it just seems so hard. I've been talking to a couple girls but I don't even feel that interested. I don't feel excited about much of anything lately. I've been trying to go out to clubs and at least put myself out there, but there's only one really good club locally and inevitably my ex is ALWAYS there...and it's just so frustrating. I go and I'm there for 2 or 3 hours and I'm lucky to dance with 2, maybe 3 girls...for maybe 10-15 minutes max, and none of them talk to me. She comes in, is there for maybe 10 minutes and starts dancing with some guy, dances with him the whole evening and gets his phone number and all this crap. On top of that, when I'm out I usually drink, and when I'm coming off my buzz I feel even MORE depressed than usual, especially if it's been a disappointing evening (kind of the case right now)

I just don't know how to shake this. Everything seemingly reminds me of her. I can't even stand to be in my apartment half the time because the memories just haunt me. I have to go out and just do...something, anything. It feels like this is all a bad dream and one day I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal. :(

I had problems with mild depression before when I was single but it just seemed so much easier to kick than this. This is just making me miserable. I feel like I want to crawl in a hole somewhere and die so I won't have to deal with this anymore.

Its hard to move on period. I feel a lot of guilt from my past just from what I have thought I threw away. But if I was you I would try to change my whole reutine around. If something reminds you of her then change or get rid of the thing(s). Confront her and ask her to tell you why she thought you wasnt right for her,this might help the healing process. In all you have to deal with it and move on.. It might be that she wasnt right for you.

I am sorry to hear that your hurting so badly right now. It still hasn't been that long since this breakup happened, and it took a while for it to really "hit" you. Take your time to grieve, especially since this was your first serious girlfriend. I know it can be really hard to let go and move on but it is necessary for you to try to do this as you grieve your loss. Seeing her around town must be so hard. If you aren't ready to date or talk to other girls, then don't. It is fine to be single and on your own for some time, until you are really ready to move on to a new relationship. You may never get the answers you want as to why things ended as they did, and this is hard to deal with but unfortunately this happens all the time and many times we don't have a clear answer on what/why it ended. Like the John18 said, try to get rid of things that are too of a strong of a reminder of her. Even something as simple as rearranging furniture can help. In time this pain will lessen and fade. Good luck to you and stay strong, in the end you will be ok. We are all here for you in the meantime. :angel:

Thanks guys...

The problem with the memories is that seemingly everything reminds me of her. Even just being in my apartment reminds me of her because I think of us snuggling up on the couch or in bed or whatever.... :(

Hell, whenever the weather started getting nice, it made me think of last spring, because we went down to Houston for my brother's wedding. While we were down there, we drove down to Galveston and walked on the beach and stuff...and it was just so nice. *sigh* :(

Too many memories...

As far as why she broke things off....she did basically tell me that she didn't feel like we were in love, along with the life differences stuff. I thought I loved her, but maybe it wasn't "unconditional" love....regardless, she apparently didn't love me. She told me that she thinks I'm "a good one" and that she'd "recommend" me to her friends. But I guess not good enough for her to hang on to.

I've been kind of shocked and hurt by how fast she moved on...I mean, she broke with me on a Thursday, and THAT WEEKEND she was out at clubs meeting guys. She did initiate the breakup and is more relationship experienced than me, but feeling like you've just been brushed aside like that makes you feel pretty insignificant.

I feel like I'm ready to date...hell, at least meet some girls, just something to distract me from this misery and help me move on...I've met a couple but I dunno. I'm not sure what I want right now.

I actually met a girl at the club Thursday night and got her number, and I was excited about that briefly because it's the first time I've ever done that, but it didn't last (I guess because I didn't actually get to meet her when we were originally going to...long story).