:wave: Hey everyone I hope all is well. I have some issues with my family. My sibling all six are just disfunctional to start off with. My mom is in stage 3 maybe 4 it's hard to tell. My brothers have nothing to do with my mom they don't even call her, my other sister lives out of state I now know why and don't blame her. My only sister that I use to get along with before all of this started no longer speaks to me along with her daughter. I just found out that my ex got to them and told them all kinds of nonsense about me that they are calling me crazy and I'm stealing my moms money and I'm this and that. None of that bother's me because I know the truth. It hurts because of where and who it's coming from. My sister honestly believes that nothing is wrong with mom eventhrough she just came back from spending a week with her. My niece cursed me out on the phone and said I'm exxagerating the situation with her grandma and I'm causing all her probelms. I went so far before this all happened to given her the number to her doctor who diagnosed mom and she still doesn't believe me. I'm threw with them and I'm going to do this thing solo I don't need them they are the crazy ones. My mom has finally asked me to take her to a phsychairtrist because she said I'm getting sick again to me. So I found a doctor who deals with senoirs and there issues to see if that helps her any. My mom goes through these phases when she thinks she has a young child and it's always alittle girl. She even associates school buses and toys in stores with this child. Sometimes she will go to the front door and look for this child. My mom is really progressing fast to me I see changes happening on a weekly basis. Is that the way this goes?
I sorry for ranting and raving but I have nobody else to rant to. I'm trying to go to some support groups but they only meet once a month that's not enough to me oh well. Till next time. Be Blessed ;)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Yep, that's about the way it goes. There are some that can wrap their brain around the extent of the illness and realizes what is going on. There are others that are sure it is something somebody else is doing to the patient. Then there are others that are in total denial that anything is wrong. Family dynamics and history only makes it worse. This disease is so cruel that it not only robs the patient of their cognitive abilities, it robs the extended family of their common sense as well. The patient is not the only one that suffers from denial. Your story, with slight variations are repeated in almost every dementia story.

Make sure the Psychiatrist you use specializes in geriatrics and has a working knowledge of dementia. Another options may be a geriatric neurologist of cognitive assessment center. I used a Memory Assessment Research Service in connection with a local university Psychology department and they were wonderful. Also make sure your Mom's general physician is familiar with dementia and geriatrics. It is amazing the number of physicians that are clueless when it comes to cognitive issues of the elderly.

The other best advice is to be sure that somebody has your Mom's Durable Power of Attorney (POA) as well as a Medical Power of Attorney or Medical Directive. If this has not been done then you definitely need to get it done. It is also beneficial to have a secondary name on her bank accounts.

Is your Mom living with you, someone else, or living alone?

Most of all welcome to the forum. Everyone here has been or is going through what you are dealing with. The angels here have been my sanity. They have listening ears, strong shoulders, and practical advice gained from experience. I truly regret that you are having to deal with this with both your family and your mother. But you have come to the right place. Sit down, take a deep cleansing breath, keep typing. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.....

Love, deb

HI there,

Well is seems that there are quit a few of us with Family Issues....My story is different but no less frustrating.. My siblings seem to want to help but just can not find the time. One is retired!!!the other lives closer to my mom than I do and is busy with living his life. Little brat that he is......I have come to the reasoning that I need to strive to keep my path in a straight line and if they want to join me on what will be my mom's last journey that is okay....I have told them enough times that to visit while mom will enjoy their time together is better than waiting for her to........well what ever comes, comes.
I am so thankful for finding this forum.... I know that I will be using the experiences of many to help me through what will only be a very heartbreaking time....I am glad that you found you way here as I did..

My family seems to have been permanently divided by Mom's Dementia. Mom passed away just this last December, but during the 8 years of her illness, we divided into two camps. Sadly. I lived with her, and was the main careperson, so I feel I knew best of all how she was really doing. My brother lived nearby and agreed with me. Our sister lived many states away - and constantly criticised everything I did or said.

We used to be close. But she could not accept Mom's dire condition, so she had to blame it on someone else. Guess who. The caregiver is often the target of other people's fear and denial.

She told me that Mom was fine, was not forgetful, was not unable to find her way home, the few 'silly accidents' with burnt pots and a toaster oven going up in flames were just 'normal.'

She told me that if I would make sure Mom drank more water, all her symptoms would go away. Or, if we would watch less TV. Another time she said I needed to play classical music all day to improve Mom's brain. (yet she didn't admit anything was wrong with Moms brain.) Later she said Mom was not getting enough stimulation, mayne more TV?

I last saw my sister at Mom's funeral and have received ONE email since then, no phone calls. Attempts to invite her here or go see them have been rebuffed. I feel that in some ways I lost both my Mom and my sister to this horrid disease.

Love,

Martha