I sit here crying from frustration and I know it's not Mom's fault. Bought new rugs for her bedroom, she helped pick them out. They arrived today and when I got home from work, I put them down and she thought they were pretty. Greens, maroons, with an Aztec design border. Just helped her back to her room so she could watch TV and she won't walk on them! Thought it was cat _ _ _ _. Guess I better take them out and get some solid colors with no designs. She also, today does not like her comforter, it has flowers on it and she thought I was stupid when I told her they were just flowers and they were pretty. Like I have come quickly to know, something new every day. She sees things differently every day. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I think tomorrow will call the home care office and see if they have anyone available for nights just so maybe I can sleep. I know part of it is the exhaustion I feel. I know she doesn't mean to do these things, and I feel like I am a bad person when I get frustrated or annoyed or even angry. Okay, gotta go back and be sure she's okay and be sure she is drinking.
Thanks, guys
talk later
Susie

Take a deep breath Susie. You answered all of your question in your own post. Call tomorrow and find you some help at night so you can sleep. You are exhausted and you can not care for anybody else until you care for yourself. Sleep is the best gift you can give yourself.

Get rugs that are similar in color to the floor if you have to have a rug. Your Mom doesn't have the thought process to realize that is just a rug. In her reality it will look like something very different.... and changes each time she sees it. Today she might like it and tomorrow she will not. Yesterday she would walk on it and today it fightens her or is not agreeable. Also remember that rugs are a tripping hazard.

Try distraction when she dislikes something. Or simply agree with her and tell her you will deal with it tomorrow. By tomorrow she might just like it again. Get a second comforter that is solid and let her chose which one she wants.

And don't have guilt feelings when you become annoyed, frustrated, or angry. Hello, you are human you know. We know in our brains that our loved ones are not being impossible on purpose but it's very difficult to convince our hearts of what our head knows. Especially when we are tired and worn down we respond just like the human being that we are. So chalk it up to just what it is..... a moment in time that didn't go as well as it should... and go no to the next moment. As I have said so often, we can only do the best we can with what we have at the moment.

So make that call, get some sleep, and be ready for a better day :-)

Love, deb

Ahh susie,

I'm sorry that the nasties are visiting you. Is rotten isn't it. Here you are only trying to make your Mom's room pretty and all you get is grief. Hon, she isn't doing it on purpose..if she was able to really see what you were doing for her, she would be tickled pink! But she is in a bad place right now and nothing is right for her. so, step back, take a deep breath and let it out. She like a toddler that needs a nap. So, just go with the flow.

Instead of checking to see if she is drinking, why don't you have one?;) It oule do you good! Do make that call. Find someone to spend the night hours so that you can get some sleep without having to worry if she is up wandering or trying to get out or to cook or who know what. My Mom, when she was in the nurisng home, would get up around 2 am and clean for them. She would get a rag and clean the mop boards, the railings, and the window sills...until the night that she decided that she owned the building and there were 8 people who hadn't paid rent and didn't say please and thank you and they needed to get out- LIKE RIGHT NOW! I've never had a call from the nursing home at 2 am before...it was interesting. We can laugh now.....
Find some help, so you can climb back into her world in peace.....
hang in there, you're doing all you can. Personally I would take the rugs up, the are a hazzard.

Susie,

It's so hard, isn't it? I was just accused, 15 minutes ago, of "torturing" my dad (he looked me right in the eye and said that) because I was helping him into the shower. Isn't it heartbreaking when we KNOW we are doing our best, and our loved ones think we are doing something to upset them? All I said to daddy was, "I'm sorry, daddy." And continuted taking off his clothes to get into the shower.

DGabriel is right when she said that the opinion could change tomorrow. Daddy does that often. His newest thing is an obsession with the garbage. That's right. The garbage. He will pull things out of the trash can (I just bypass the kitchen trash now and take everything directly outside to to big trash can) to "keep" - OJ cartons, pudding containers...and I have tried to reason with him, and can't. He also ARRANGES the garbage in the outside trash. *sigh* That's ok. It's what he needs to do, I guess. But tomorrow, he could be back to his dryer-lint-screen obsession (it must be actually WASHED after every load), or his where-the-hell-are-all-my-throw-rugs obsession (I picked them all up. He does not walk well enough to "clear" them and it's a tripping hazard).

Hang in there, Susie. One thing you can be sure of - nothing stays the same - not even our loved one's opinions.

...deb

It is amazing to me the similarities I read between obcessions I have see and those others have seen. Mom had a cleaning obcession. Rather than taking trash out of the can everything went into the can. We had to check the trash before it went out because her living will might be in it. (it was retrieved from there) Mom would wash the windows repeatedly and always had a rag, broom, or mop in her hand. Her constant complaint was that nobody else cleaned. Well no, she just did it herself two hours ago? I would throw a dust rag over my shoulder and walk around with it all day. She never saw me dust but she thought I was because I had the rag and she would sit for a while. It is an every day struggle to deal with their changing reality and figure out what needs to be done to keep the calm. I think I will go have that drink with Ibake!

Love, deb

Do you all realize just how comforting it is for me to read all your posts? I did not know until I started coming here that daddy's obsessions were part of the disease. I wasn't sure WHAT was going on, but I never chalked it up to his AD.

DGabriel, I LOVE that you walk around with a dust rag on your shoulder! That gave me a chuckle! I have actually walked around with a trash bag in my hand all day for the very same reason!

And if y'all don't mind, I would like to join you and ibake for that drink (I have never been a drinker, but I am seriously considering taking it up as a hobby. I'll even buy.)

;)

...deb

Deb, the first round is on me...I figure I have seniority here. Both of my parents have passed so that makes me the oldest! Besides that, if I don't you two will be asleep before we even say CHEERS!:D