OK, so now I know I'm really paranoid about turning into "one big herpe," but, other than the whole genital thing - sometimes I get weird feelings on my lips (on face), which could be absolutely nothing. I've had nothing that even remotely looked like any kind of cold sore I've ever seen, but I have been getting these little "mini pimple" like things right under my nose. You can barely even notice them - they're no bigger than a dot made with a ball-point pen. And they go away in like 1-2 days without doing anything.

Problem is (besides RAGING PARANOIA), is that now I just noticed this zit looking thing (like the red bump that precedes one of those God-awful zits that hurts like hell, but doesn't really come to a head, it just sits there a few days and then disappears), but I've had this red mark for a few days now (2-3), and it doesn't really hurt -- well, unless I press on it, then it kinda feels like a zit...(I know, I've been trying NOT to touch it.)

I'm just worried that now I'm going to start having OB on my face, and that would really upset me - causing more stress, causing more OB's, etc.

Again, I've never had any type of cold sore on my lips other than a couple I remember having as a small child (years and years and years ago).

HELP!! What's the difference between a herpes blister and a zit??

(Thanks in advance for letting me freak out again, I've only been doing this "herpes thing" for about 5 months.)

What's the diff between herpes and a zit? Besides the obvious? Namely that one is caused by a chronic, contagious virus and the other is a bacterial infection (I think)? They can look similar as far as I know.

If it really bugs you and you're worried about it when kissing and stuff, get your doc to do a swab on a fresh one, ideally within 24-48 hours of appearance. Unfortunately it won't really confirm it unless it's positive, and a negative result won't conclusively rule out herpes. Or try one of the OTC creams on it (Abreva is common) or a prescription cream (like Denavir) and see if it helps.

As far as I know, stress will bring out zits as much as herpes, so either way your worrying is just probably making it worse. In any case, just because you have genital herpes it won't trigger OBs in other locations (like your face).

So tell your paranoia to go find some real serious problems to worry about. There's plenty to go around... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif

The1in4

So tell your paranoia to go find some real serious problems to worry about. There's plenty to go around... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif [/B]

Um, rereading that, I thought maybe I sounded a little insensitive and abrupt. Internet text can be misinterpretted sometimes. I just thought I should clarify that I meant it in a fun, reassuring way! Hope I didn't offend. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

1in4

One-In-Four:

Definitely no offense taken....LOL...after I re-read mine, I thought to myself "what a stupid question." What I really meant is what differences are there appearance-wise. I'm so afraid of spreading it to my eyes, that I'm afraid to touch ANYTHING on my face.

But then I think, my ex-H had oral since way before I met him - he gets cold sores about 4-5 times per year, more or less.... I was careful not to kiss him on the mouth or let him kiss me (anywhere) whenever he had a blister, and I never had any problems. Of course, that's most probably because I was exposed to HSV-1 as a child. That's also probably why "Mr. I've never heard of herpes" didn't pass it to me orally, only genitally, because I had never had "those areas" exposed before. However, as far as protected sex goes, my ex-H and I rarely used condoms after we were exclusive. So, in all those 7 years we were together (actually 8 years total - 7 married) I never contracted the virus genitally (that's assuming that new partner, "Mr. I've never heard...", was responsible for outbreak. ????

Sometimes I think that I'm being WAY TOO OVERCAUTIOUS. I seem to think that although it is contagious, I don't think it's THAT contagious as far as spreading it to different areas on myself, or giving it to my kids somehow.

I mean, how many people do you know that have spread it to their eyes?? If that's the case, (so easy to self-contaminate), wouldn't a significant portion of the 90% of the population that has HSV also have it in their eyes, nose, etc.?? I find it hard to believe that I'm the only one that scratches my ass when I get up in the morning http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif And, for people who have it orally (my ex, and one of my best friends get really nasty wet blisters on their lips), THEY don't have it in their eyes, or anywhere else for that matter. And, I'd like to point out, my ex-H didn't realize (and still denies) that his cold sores are a form of herpes, so its not like he would be careful not to touch his lip and then rub his eyes, right?

What I'm saying is that everytime I feel a "tingle," or "an itch," or just a plain-old-nothing-special twitch, I think "Oh my God, it's happening. One Big Herpe! AAHHHHHH!"

Yes, a little overreactive, I know. But, I can't help it. The first OB was the only OB, so I don't know what to expect.....or if to expect anything at all. somewhere near 50% of people with HSV-1 NEVER have another recurrence (visible anyway...)

Just curious, how would I tell if these little minute pimple like bumps are HSV?? They aren't wet or anything, so I don't think the dr. could do a swab, could he? I just don't want to pass it to kids, or anyone else for that matter, by sharing cups, forks, etc. You know how it is when you're a mom, I think I swallow more of their spit and backwash than they do!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif >LOL<

The new perspective I'm trying is that 1)life goes on; 2)millions of people have HSV-1, both orally and genitally, and I've never seen anyone walking around as 'One Big Herpe.' http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I just now go it, even though I was continuously exposed for 8 years.

So, although I realize that it is quite an epidemic as far as STD's go, I don't think that I have to worry quite as much (if worry, at all), about spreading it so much, as long as I take some precautions, like washing my hands, etc. But, does that mean that even when I'm not showing signs of an OB that I have to be so darn careful? Say, I reach down and "adjust my thong," since I've just touched my underwear NEAR where an OB occurred in the past, do I need to rush into the bathroom to wash my hands before scratching my eye??

Questions, questions, questions. I'm really more of a "cut and dry" kind of person, can you tell? I like black and white, not maybe's and if's grey.

And, what about sex in the shower?? Condom still? How 'bout the pool? Condom there, too? Or would we be pretty safe because of soap/chlorine?

(I'm searching here for you to tell me what I want to hear -- that is, that I don't have to keep knocking myself up about this and to just RELAX, for pete's sake ...whoever pete is, anyway. And I'd really like to know that I can enjoy receiving oral sex again WITHOUT saran wrap. I want to be able to enjoy sex and touching/feeling without worrying about what is getting where. Will that ever be?

I can't help but think that because my HSV is out of its preferred area, that it will be even less likely to spread/transmit to somewhere/someone else? What are your thoughts on that?

That article I read (darn, I meant to look at it for address so I could post it here...) said that if one partner has HSV-1 oral, and other partner has HSV-1 genital that the chances of exchanging are not as great as would be if one partner was seronegative, because of the body's immune system already being familiar with the virus.

I would really like "great guy" to take blood test to see if he has been exposed to HSV-1. That would make his chances of NOT getting it even better, from what I understand. And since with HSV-1 out of its preferred location, the frequency of OB's and recurrences, and shedding are even more reduced (shedding <1-3% of the time). I think my mind would be able to enjoy sex a little more, if I wasn't so (you guessed it) PARANOID.

Right now, everything is so overshadowed by worry. Will that go away with time?

Wow, am I rambling. Way to much caffeine this a.m., huh?

Thanks again for your support/advice/raging paranoia quelching. ROTFLOL

20/20 http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

I mean, how many people do you know that have spread it to their eyes??

I think you're trying to find a middle ground between sheer panic and dismissing it as trivial, and I think the best place to aim for is somewhere in the middle. Like you say, herpes is far less common than say around the mouth. However, the consequences of getting it in the eyes can be worse than around the mouth (or other places) since it can sometimes lead to blindness. So I think you're right to be a bit more cautious about not getting it in your eyes, but it's not like it's a done deal the second you rub your eyes after scratching your ass in the morning. LOL Again: somewhere in between the extremes, with a little more weight given to avoiding the eyes.

What I'm saying is that everytime I feel a "tingle," or "an itch," or just a plain-old-nothing-special twitch, I think "Oh my God, it's happening. One Big Herpe! AAHHHHHH!"

This is a REALLY common reaction when people first find out. It will take a bit of time for you to learn from experience with it. It sounds like you're struggling to find a workable and realistic balance, which is good. You'll get there! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Just curious, how would I tell if these little minute pimple like bumps are HSV?? They aren't wet or anything, so I don't think the dr. could do a swab, could he?

He could probably take a bit of tissue, like a biopsy, or lance one of them and swab the fluid. Talk to him about it, but be prepared that he might minimise your concerns about it. If it's REALLY important for you to know, go in there prepared to defend that. You might want to try a different doctor if he doesn't want to do it; just don't tell the second doctor you already have a diagnosis of herpes there.

I just don't want to pass it to kids, or anyone else for that matter, by sharing cups, forks, etc. You know how it is when you're a mom, I think I swallow more of their spit and backwash than they do!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif >LOL<

This was definitely more information than I needed to know... LOL Unless you're doing some pretty kinky things with your cups and forks, you're not likely to pass it on to your kids.

But, does that mean that even when I'm not showing signs of an OB that I have to be so darn careful? Say, I reach down and "adjust my thong," since I've just touched my underwear NEAR where an OB occurred in the past, do I need to rush into the bathroom to wash my hands before scratching my eye??

Probably not. Remember that even if you're shedding the virus asymptomatically there and you get it on your hand, it will die very quickly once the air hits it. I'm not sure I'd want to go from my butt to my eye in one fast fell swoop in any case, but I don't think you need to make a beeline into the bathroom to do a surgical scrubdown.

And, what about sex in the shower?? Condom still? How 'bout the pool? Condom there, too? Or would we be pretty safe because of soap/chlorine?

If you'd use a condom "anyway" I think I'd be inclined to use one in those situations too. However, be aware that it's not considered safe at any time to have intercourse underwater, since this could push the water up into the uterus. And chlorinated water would be especially dangerous there.

(I'm searching here for you to tell me what I want to hear -- that is, that I don't have to keep knocking myself up about this and to just RELAX, for pete's sake ...whoever pete is, anyway. And I'd really like to know that I can enjoy receiving oral sex again WITHOUT saran wrap. I want to be able to enjoy sex and touching/feeling without worrying about what is getting where. Will that ever be?

LOL I empathise with your struggle to find a way to relax and not have to worry about it. I can't say never worry about it, but I think you'll find that detestable shade of grey where you can relax a bit more. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif I definitely think you should get him tested for HSV-1, since as you say it will make the implications and risks far less for him if he does have it.

The other thing to consider is: what level of risk is he prepared to take? You both might not know this until you get to the point of being ready for more physical intimacy, but it's something you both should be thinking about as that point approaches.

Yikes! Just looked at the clock and I've got to run. I'll finish this later. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

1in4

1-in-4:

You crack me up!!

He and I have discussed it quite a bit. I was getting into it last night telling him about the risks and that even condoms aren't fail safe, and all that and he was like "OK, I know, I'm not totally ignorant." And I just explained to him that I wanted to make sure he absolutely KNEW the risks, the whole risks, and nothing but the risks, before taking any chances, because I don't want him to get it and then regret it.

As far as what risks he's willing to take?? I'm not sure. He seems particulary interested in performing oral sex, and I told him that he could get it in the mouth that way. He asked "and what precautions would one take to prevent that?" I said, "cheap and easy way: saran wrap." He said "..." I can't tell you what he said here. I don't know if they would like it. It was kind of explicit. Let's just say that saran wrap isn't flavored... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/eek.gif

The whole sex thing hasn't happened yet. He is coming over tonight to "watch a movie," but I'm planning on making him wait a while longer because my biggest concern is really his health. I don't want to be the cause of anyone's regret, ever!

As far as my health goes, because of having sex, I mean, assuming I do NOT have oral yet, the chances are pretty fair that my body will resist it to some degree because of the antibodies already present. OTOH, if I do already have oral HSV, then the risk is pretty much nil for me, right? (for type-1 anyway)

So, really, if he has already had HSV-1 orally, then he stands a pretty good chance of having some type of resistance anyway, and the fact that getting it genitally is a little less likely than getting it orally, puts the risk even lower, as long as we use condoms and take some other precautions.

But like you said, if he has HSV-1 orally (which would be the case if his blood test was seropositive, right?), then the whole oral sex thing wouldn't possibly require the whole plastic covering thing. Do you agree?

Oh, and BTW, about the fork and cup thing...I was assuming that I had oral, too, because of the face bumps (which really are so darn tiny you can hardly see them...) I'll save the kinky stuff for "great guy," that way it'll justify the wait! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Thank you again. As always, I feel so much better after reading your posts.

20/20 http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

As far as my health goes, because of having sex, I mean, assuming I do NOT have oral yet, the chances are pretty fair that my body will resist it to some degree because of the antibodies already present. OTOH, if I do already have oral HSV, then the risk is pretty much nil for me, right? (for type-1 anyway)

I'm not *quite* sure what you're getting at here. Do you mean, if you don't already have oral HSV-1, are you at risk in getting it from your new sweetie, assuming he has it orally? Yes, it's possible.

So, really, if he has already had HSV-1 orally, then he stands a pretty good chance of having some type of resistance anyway, and the fact that getting it genitally is a little less likely than getting it orally, puts the risk even lower, as long as we use condoms and take some other precautions.

Yes, that's how I'd understand it too. In many ways, it's a game of numbers, statistics and probabilities. But having HSV-1 orally does give *some* resistance to getting it elsewhere (though not 100% of course), and it goes into the bigger picture in formulating a strategy for assessing and lowering the risks. Using a condom will help too.

But like you said, if he has HSV-1 orally (which would be the case if his blood test was seropositive, right?), then the whole oral sex thing wouldn't possibly require the whole plastic covering thing. Do you agree?

If he tests positive on a blood test for HSV-1, then yes, he most likely has it orally. In that case the only risk would be getting OBs in new places around the mouth, not whether he gets it or not (since he already would have it there). But you'd risk the same thing from him to your genitals too. If it was me at risk in that situation, I would leave the Saran Wrap in the kitchen and proceed directly to the bedroom. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

1in4