I am feeling really scared right now that I may have given a new man in my life the virus. If any one could please tell me, is the herpes virus only transmitted where the blisters or rash appears or can it also be spread in vaginal secreations. I have my OB on my upper thigh, no OB on my vagina or else where. My OB seemed to be over but came back a few hours after we engaged in foreplay. Although we did not have sex, he did place his fingers inside me and then in his mouth but he did not touch the area were my OB appears. I am feeling quite stupid right now because I know better to engage in any kind of sex so close to an OB but it seems too much to drink, and too heated a moment was the cause of my stupidity. I guess I will know the answer in the next week or two anyway wont I. But in the mean time maybe someone can put my worries to ease or not!

Hi Tracy,

Sorry but I can't ease your fears completely. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif It sounds like there's a chance he could have been exposed to it, but probably not as likely as if he had touched the OB site itself. I'll tell you how I understand this, but be aware I'm not a doctor or health professional.

The problem is that herpes can manifest anywhere on the skin (called a dermatome) that is served by the same nerve ganglion (cluster of nerves at the spine that branch out to a particular area of skin). For genital herpes, that dermatome is typically throughout the "boxer shorts" area.

The way it's currently understood, when the virus is dormant it retreats to the spinal ganglion that it has infected; then when it reactivates, it travels out through that nerve sub-system. Although it usually goes back to a previous OB site, it could also take a different route to the skin surface and manifest elsewhere within the same dermatome.

When the virus travels to the skin (be it an old or new site) that skin location will shed the virus. When someone comes into skin-to-skin contact with that virus, they are exposed to herpes. If there is a break in their skin for the virus to enter, they can contract the virus. The problem is that this shedding may or may not have obvious symptoms, so you don't know for absolute 100% sure if you're shedding the virus or not (unless there's an OB sore, in which case it's certain). Vaginal lubrication can contain the virus if you are shedding from a place inside the vagina.

So if you don't get internal vaginal OBs, the chances are much less that he was exposed to the virus but unfortunately it's not 100% certain. If it was only his hands that touched you there, it's even less likely that he'd contract it, since it's less common to contract herpes on the hands...but definitely not impossible.

You really should go back and talk to him about it. Sorry, I know that's hard but if it was you, you'd want to know, right? If he did catch it, he might not manifest symptoms for weeks or months or years or ever, yet still be potentially contagious. So no, you might not find out in a week or two. And even if he does get symptoms he won't necessarily connect it with his encounter with you or with it being herpes. So he should know that if he does get symptoms, he should get checked for herpes.

Good luck. Let us know how you make out with it.

TheOneInFour

I don't think I have been getting the best advice form my doctor. He basically told me to have safe sex and then he sent me on my way. So - if the whole boxer area can be contagious is it also possible to transmit the virus just by sleeping naked next to him - done this too.
I will see him tomorrow I am going to have to tell him - but really I wasn't ready yet.

This all started from a coldsore I had on my lip since I was a child - and by lack of information I ended up spreading it to my thigh. It still seems to be that I don't know enough about the virus - I guess it is much worse than I thought.

Tracy

I'm sorry that your doctor misinformed you. Obviously, since you have your OBs on your thigh, condoms won't help to protect against herpes, as you would more than likely be shedding from you thigh, which would be rubbing on his thigh.
The good news is, however, that HSV-1 is typically less severe and harder to transmit to anywhere but the mouth. But of course, isn't impossible as you, and I, very well know.
You do need to tell him, and I know it will be hard, but it's the best thing to do. If he rejects you over such a silly thing, then he's obviously not the one for you.

Tracy, are you sure your thigh OBs are from HSV-1 (oral cold sores)? Have you ever had a swab culture done on a fresh blister? It might be worth finding out what type you have there. Like Peenk said, if it's type-1 it's a bit harder to transmit it to a site outside the mouth area...although obviously not impossible.

Also, remember that where you get your OBs is not necessarily where you originally contracted it in that dermatome. For instance, I get most of my OBs at the top of my buttocks but that's probably not where I originally contracted it. So you might not have transmitted it to your thigh initially.

Another comment: Although anywhere in the boxer shorts area is potentially contagious, it won't all be contagious at the same time. The way I understand it (and I could be misinformed), you'll probably shed the virus only from one spot, possibly a few, at a time but not the whole skin surface area. So sleeping naked together could possibly be risky, but it's not likely to be as risky as direct friction of skin against skin.

Good luck with your talk with him! Take it one step at a time, give yourself and him some time to talk and absorb the information. Maybe print off an article or two to give to him that summarise the main facts, maybe suggest a website or two he can investigate. Don't be surprised if he needs a few days to think about it all.

Let us know how you make out.

TheOneInFour

Thanks for all your advice. I seem to find more answers here than at the doctors. I was so frustrated today I went and seen another doctor at the walk in clinic, frustrated and also when I woke up this morning I had pain in my vagina. I wanted to have an internal to see if I had any sores. Doctor tells me you can't get sores internally???? But I don't think this is right. So he didn't do an internal and I am sitting here still in pain. And he basically said it was no big deal everybody comes in contact with the virus at sometime in their lives but some people handle it different than others. I asked about being contagious, and he said I would be only contagious if I had open sores...I know not true...

Now, first doctor did not do a swab. He just basically took my word for it and perscribed me an anti viral. I should say the rash is high up on my inner thigh and I believe it is hsv1 since it came from a cold sore I had on my mouth,(orginanlly given to me when I was a child by my mother who had very bad ob's on her face) and I gave it to my now x-boyfriend during oral sex and then he gave it back to me during sex. Becuase I was ignorant about the virus I did not know the coldsore virus was the same as herpes. What a way to find out.

I haven't been able to concentrate on anything all day today I am so worried and I feel so guilty and very very bad. Tomorrow I will see my new man and I don't know what to expect. I think if I see him with a coldsore on his lip I will just die. Well wish me the best. I'll get back to you Thursday.

Tracy