whit3
05-15-2008, 02:19 AM
For the last 2 years or so, i've developed the habit of constantly having to have something to "fiddle" with. Be it a pen, a piece of string, a zipper on a shirt or even my own fingers, i have to be doing something. When i'm at work, if my hands are occupied by work, i'll need to have my foot tapping or my knee jiggling. Sometimes I even rest my chin on my drink bottle and just move that around. If I don't do this I feel kind of anxious. Small things like sitting at my desk moving around a folded up sticky note in one hand is ok. Its when im out and about, im playing with a cord on my jumper or have something in my pocket i can play with, that I really feel silly because alot of people find these things rude. I've noticed when I go to the doctor or I had a job interview or something i'd play with the strap of my bag either next to me or under the desk. I don't know what this is. Could this be OCD? I've never looked up OCD i don't know what the symptoms are. But just the name suggests an compulsion such as this may come under it!
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Kathrin74
05-16-2008, 05:34 PM
Hm, I am not sure.
In OCD, sufferers do a compulsion because they feel they HAVE TO, otherwise they experience immense anxiety. Typical examples are: Having to wash excessively because of feeling contaminated or because of an irrational fear of germs, having to keep checking something because otherwsie they feel they may be responsible for some disaster, having to have things be put "a certain way" (ever seen "Monk"?), having to ask for reassurance, etc.
Now I wonder if what you describe is more like... a coping mechanism to deal with nervousness?
But it really depends on WHY you do it. What happens if you don't? Does your anxiety build up? Do ou worry that your anxiety might get so high you won't be able to deal with it anymore?
Kathrin
In OCD, sufferers do a compulsion because they feel they HAVE TO, otherwise they experience immense anxiety. Typical examples are: Having to wash excessively because of feeling contaminated or because of an irrational fear of germs, having to keep checking something because otherwsie they feel they may be responsible for some disaster, having to have things be put "a certain way" (ever seen "Monk"?), having to ask for reassurance, etc.
Now I wonder if what you describe is more like... a coping mechanism to deal with nervousness?
But it really depends on WHY you do it. What happens if you don't? Does your anxiety build up? Do ou worry that your anxiety might get so high you won't be able to deal with it anymore?
Kathrin
whit3
05-16-2008, 09:53 PM
If i don't have something to fiddle with, i feel nervous and anxious and out of place, i get very snappy and irritated, lose all concerntration and feel like crying sometimes.
I don't know if this is nervousness, because its not only in nervous situations. I can just be sitting at my desk at home and have to have something in my hands to move around. It's the same at night.. if i dont have something in my hands then ill toss and turn and thrash around and become very irritated, so i usually play with the corner of the cloth thats on the bedside table, or if im super lucky my cat will be with me and ill just stroak his paw. Its probably not noticable to alot of people, but i actually really noticed it becoming a problem a few days ago, i was outside at lunch time we were just standing around talking and i was playing with the tightening cord that goes around the bottom of my work jacket, and i broke it. Because i was twisting it around my hands and pulling at it, it broke. and someone noticed and it was very embarrasing.
I don't know if this is nervousness, because its not only in nervous situations. I can just be sitting at my desk at home and have to have something in my hands to move around. It's the same at night.. if i dont have something in my hands then ill toss and turn and thrash around and become very irritated, so i usually play with the corner of the cloth thats on the bedside table, or if im super lucky my cat will be with me and ill just stroak his paw. Its probably not noticable to alot of people, but i actually really noticed it becoming a problem a few days ago, i was outside at lunch time we were just standing around talking and i was playing with the tightening cord that goes around the bottom of my work jacket, and i broke it. Because i was twisting it around my hands and pulling at it, it broke. and someone noticed and it was very embarrasing.
Kathrin74
05-17-2008, 08:14 AM
It does kind of sound like a compulsion... have you considered talking to a doctor about it?
whit3
05-17-2008, 10:52 AM
No I haven't.. I feel silly talking to a doctor about having to play with things? Doctors are for sick people and I don't feel sick.
Kathrin74
05-17-2008, 04:42 PM
Well! That depends on your interpretation of "sick".
If something has become enough of a problem that it complicates your life or makes you uncomfortable... wouldn't that be something worth tackling somehow?
I don't think you'd have to feel silly about it.
Maybe you can make an appointment with a psychiatrist or therapist? I don't know what your insurance situation is?
Kathrin
If something has become enough of a problem that it complicates your life or makes you uncomfortable... wouldn't that be something worth tackling somehow?
I don't think you'd have to feel silly about it.
Maybe you can make an appointment with a psychiatrist or therapist? I don't know what your insurance situation is?
Kathrin
whit3
05-17-2008, 09:20 PM
I have no insurance and not really in the position to be spending money on expensive doctors. Maybe i'll just see my GP about it and start there. If I feel so bad about it afterwards there are pleanty of other doctors I can go see from then on wards, i'd feel like every time I went to the doctor they'd laugh at me for going to see them about something so trivial.
Kathrin74
05-18-2008, 07:43 AM
Do you yourself think it is so trivial?
whit3
05-18-2008, 07:33 PM
I just expect people's reactions to be "so you play around with a little peice of paper all day and cry if you cant, grow up" kind of thing.
Kathrin74
05-19-2008, 09:48 AM
Well. From what I have gathered, this is about more than just playing around with a piece of paper.
One way to define a psychiatric disorder is to say: It is a disorder if it causes distress or interrupts your daily activities.
Apparently at least one of them is true for you? It sounds to me anyway like this is something you get the feeling is getting too much to handle for yourself? Like it is getting out of control?
Playing around with a piece of paper, fidgeting, etc... are normal to a dergee but if you feel it is causing you distress or has become compulsive then I wouldn't just say it's trivial.
See, somebody with washing compulsions could also say: So what's the big deal, a bit of handwashing, everybody wahses their hands right?... but if the person feels there is something wrong or out of control, then it is not just "a bit of handwashing" anymore.
Two suggestions if you decide to talk to somebody and feel you might be laughed at:
1) Start by explaining your fears about it sounding trivial, say something like "this may sound really trivial but it has caused me a lot of distress recently".
2) Maybe you can print out what you have written here and take it with you?
Kathrin
One way to define a psychiatric disorder is to say: It is a disorder if it causes distress or interrupts your daily activities.
Apparently at least one of them is true for you? It sounds to me anyway like this is something you get the feeling is getting too much to handle for yourself? Like it is getting out of control?
Playing around with a piece of paper, fidgeting, etc... are normal to a dergee but if you feel it is causing you distress or has become compulsive then I wouldn't just say it's trivial.
See, somebody with washing compulsions could also say: So what's the big deal, a bit of handwashing, everybody wahses their hands right?... but if the person feels there is something wrong or out of control, then it is not just "a bit of handwashing" anymore.
Two suggestions if you decide to talk to somebody and feel you might be laughed at:
1) Start by explaining your fears about it sounding trivial, say something like "this may sound really trivial but it has caused me a lot of distress recently".
2) Maybe you can print out what you have written here and take it with you?
Kathrin