Hello
It has been a long time since I have posted here. I guess I was trying not to think about things too much. Here is my story.

DH and I have been ttc for 6 1/2 years. In that time I had an HSG which resulted in a diagnosis of abnormal tissue growth. After a laproscopy it was determined that I have endo. I have been on fertility meds until the lining of my uterus got too thin. It seemed like there was nothing more to do. Then, two years ago we received our first ppt. At about 12 weeks of everything being normal, a "blighted ovum" was diagnosed (everything was normal, except there was no baby in the fetal sac). I had a D&C and we started over. Just 6 months later I had another ppt - it was another blighted ovum, diagnosed earlier because of my history. Another D&C.

Just this week I received a third ppt. I am nearly 6 weeks. Yesterday I was at the doctor's with cramping and bleeding. He told me that there is still a chance that everything will be okay, but a small chance. Today I am sure that I am miscarrying.

I am sure that we all feel this way, but when will it be my turn???

Oh Tosca, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time, miscarrying 3x has to be hard breaking. I will pray for you and dh, the same dream that i have for myself and the other ladies on the board - that is plenty of healthy normal pregancies and healthy babies.

Tosca my heart goes out to you, it just doesnt seem fair that we have to go through so much heartbreak to achieve what others seem to do without any effort at all. I really hope that all is well with you and that you go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

Cashahn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tosca, I am so sorry for your losses! I have been through many myself and I hate that anyone else has had to go through such a heartbreaking roller coaster! I hope you find the strenght to heal and I wish you luck in your next step in your IF journey!

Tosca, my heart goes out to you. I am praying so hard that this pregnancy ends happily & that the cramping & bleeding turn out to be nothing bad. No one should have to endure so much heartache. Sending you many hugs & prayers.

Holly

Thank you all for your good wishes and support. I know that my story sounds very familiar to many of you, and many others on here have endured much more. I am at a very low place emotionally right now and truely do appreciate the good words.

- Heather

Heather I am so sorry that you have had to go through so much. Your turn IS coming:angel:. I hope that the bleeding is nthing to worry about and that your pg will turn out to be fine.

i will keep you and DH in my prayers. Sending you gentle :angel: (((((hugs)))):angel:

Charlene

Thanks for the good wishes and hugs. My update is that I am going back to the IF Doctor as soon as I can get an appointment. We are back at square one.

Heather i am so sorry you have to go threw that pain but dont give hope and faith yet. I always say god always gives last minute miracles. You have to stay positive. I know its hard trust me i had a 3year old that past away so I know what pain is and i am still here surviving. I will pray your little one will be alright.:angel:

Hi Heather. :wave: I know, it feels like back at Square One, and in a way, it is. But, think of it also as a fresh start. Your doctor will probably want to do some tests, and while I know it seems liek a waste of time, it's all necessary steps to getting your BFP. Maybe somehting has changed, right? You never know. Somehting that the doctors have been paying attention to, may now be fine, and there is somehting else that may need a little fine tuning.

And Pam is right, God does give us miracles. He knows when the time is right. And I knwo that sounds liek a cop out, but honestly, it's true. I mean, I question that some days for sure, when I get a bfn, and I see a teenage mom, I question what plan is in store, or if there even is a plan. But then I remember (and it's a struggle) that we shoudl feel sorry for the kids and that mother. Because that child will never have the kind of love and care we'll bring to them, and that mother will never truly appreciate what a miracle here child is.

And we're doing much more than working on making a baby, I believe. I truly believe that we are workign on miracles, little miracles. And everyone knows, miracles, while they happen everyday, they do take time. It's easy for a "normal" woman to make a baby, but for us; we're making a miracle. And that isn't easy. But it's so, so, so worth it. And every step we take, whether we're taking prenatals, going to appointments, taking medication, doing a procedure, each and every thing we do, no matter how small it seems, is a giant leap towards our BFP.

It's a hard and tough journey, but a couple of pit stops, good tunes and us around you to support you----maybe it'll be more like a road trip than a lonely, bumpy, unforgiving road. :angel:

Heather, I am so sorry the pregnancy didn't work out. My heart goes out to you. Please know that I am thinking of you & sending prayers your way. I'm glad to hear you are still seeing your RE. You will get your healthy miracle. Keep fighting for it.

(((HUGS)))

Holly