Lostiefan1
05-20-2008, 06:20 PM
Hello everyone, i'm new to this board and have read a couple of threads and decided to join in. Well i don't even know where to start...well yesterday i just found out that i have both Herpes 1 and 2, and i couldn't believe it, i was in such shock and i still am. But the weird thing is that it's been a couple of months since i last had sex with the jerk that gave it to me. I didn't have any symptoms at all, but the one thing i did noticed is that i start getting this little thing on my lip, it's so small and it looked dry with no puss or anything (sorry for grossing you out) but that's about it. And i don't know what that means? Does it mean that i'm having an ob on my lip or is something else? So i went and got tested because first to be safe and because i started talking to this amazing guy which now is my boyfriend. So now i'm so scared of telling him this, i don't even know where to start. And things are getting serious with us because his bday is next week but his celebrating it this saturday, and i'm going to meet his sister for the first time so i'm nervous about that too. That's why i don't know whether to tell him before saturday or wait till next week. In a way i don't wanna do it this week because i don't want to mess up his bday party, but then waiting is killing me. I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? I'm so scared about losing him, his the sweetest person i've ever met. He means everything to me, i just don't know what to do. Plus i haven't felt anything different down there or anything, and one of the things i'm also concern is that me and my bf have kissed but not like making out kiss but it's not a peck either, it's like in between and the last thing i want is to give him anything. I guess in a way whenever i tell him i'm going thinking he'll leave me, because i have a feeling he will. Just please any advice will help! I can't believe this is happening, and this happens right when i was very happy. But sorry about the long message, i just needed to vent and i also needed your help. Thanks again guys!
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ann03
05-21-2008, 10:16 PM
I am so not an expert at this but for starters no matter how you feel about this guy if all you have done is kiss I wouldn't tell him anything yet. Just don't consider sleeping with him yet.
Plenty of folks have herpes on their lips so thats not the end of the world, if you kiss tell him you have cold sore etc....or herpes on your lip. Not sure how to handle that and see how that goes over.. perhaps. Then see how the relationship progresses.
I am sure others will pipe in here but I see it as good reason to let the relationship grow alittle slower and give you time to figure out how to tell him and him time to fall in love :)
Plenty of folks have herpes on their lips so thats not the end of the world, if you kiss tell him you have cold sore etc....or herpes on your lip. Not sure how to handle that and see how that goes over.. perhaps. Then see how the relationship progresses.
I am sure others will pipe in here but I see it as good reason to let the relationship grow alittle slower and give you time to figure out how to tell him and him time to fall in love :)
Ornament
05-22-2008, 11:49 AM
Lostie ~
Welcome to the board! :) Sorry, that you've become "one of us" - but it's all good. Regarding your dilemia - I totally agree with Anne, waiting sounds like the best thing to do. You'll know when to discuss your diagnosis with him. (prior to intercourse, of course) Read and learn as much as you can about herpes, he will probably have questions and you'll have the answers for him. I suggest you download a manual by Terri Warren, lots of factual information regarding this virus. I've had this virus (gentially) almost 4 yrs. now and really it's only a minor inconvience and can be quite manageable. Herpes actually makes you take better care of yourself, but what a way to learn!
Keep in mind that we're all here for each other and vent anytime.
;)-Ornament
Welcome to the board! :) Sorry, that you've become "one of us" - but it's all good. Regarding your dilemia - I totally agree with Anne, waiting sounds like the best thing to do. You'll know when to discuss your diagnosis with him. (prior to intercourse, of course) Read and learn as much as you can about herpes, he will probably have questions and you'll have the answers for him. I suggest you download a manual by Terri Warren, lots of factual information regarding this virus. I've had this virus (gentially) almost 4 yrs. now and really it's only a minor inconvience and can be quite manageable. Herpes actually makes you take better care of yourself, but what a way to learn!
Keep in mind that we're all here for each other and vent anytime.
;)-Ornament
Lostiefan1
05-22-2008, 01:48 PM
Thanks so much for your advice, but it's getting harder and harder not to say anything to him...this is killing me. But in my case it's a little confusing because about a month ago i went and got some tests done including herpes test and it came back negative. But i would still have the little sore on my lip, so i finally had time to go to the dermatologist and i explain to the doctor that i got a herpes test done at my own doctor and said we'll try it again so we did that. So last week i get a call from the doctor and said i have both herpes 1 and 2. And once he said that to me i was in shock and started to cry because that's the last thing i thought i had because i had taken a test already. The other thing is that i haven't had symptoms or ob breaks down there or anything (knock on wood) just that little thing on my lip that one day i have it and the next i don't. So after this i talked to my doctor's nurse and explained to her what was going on, so she told me to have them fax over my test result...so once she saw it she said that yeah i do have it, then yesterday she called me again and said she talked to the doctor and said that it'll be better if i get tested again in a month or so just be sure. So i asked her howcome the first one was negative and the 2nd positive? She said that the 1st one didn't show any antibodies, and the 2nd one was a little bit higher. So as you can see i'm all confuse about the whole thing, but i'm trying not get my hopes up, i'm just going through it as if i do have it. So i don't know we'll see how it goes... i just don't know how tell my bf this. But i really appreciate all your help and advice! Thanks a bunch!
Lostiefan1
05-22-2008, 02:05 PM
Thanks Ornament! Thanks for your advice, this is just a very scary feeling and situation i'm in. And like i said before, it's killing me not to say anything to my bf. He is the best thing that has ever happend to me, in my life all i met were jerks, and now that i finally found a great guy this happens. But you know what the funny thing about all this is? That ever since we started talking me and him just clicked, we talked for about a month before being official, so we've been dating now a month and i'm so happy together! I feel like his the one, and i think he wants to tell me he loves me, in which i do too. I don't know its hard to explain but i don't know how his going to react when i tell him the news. But thanks so much for your help and advice, i will sure come here to vent and try and help other's too! You guys have a great day!
Ducky74
05-22-2008, 02:30 PM
Lostie~
From what I understand, it can take time for your body to build up the antibodies for a positive result on some of the tests for hsv. Maybe this is what is happening with you since the MD said that the result was higher this past time. I read that it can take 3-4 months for the antibodies to build up completely. So, I would go through with the test again in a month like your MD suggested just to be sure.
As far as dealing with the bf, it sounds like you really want to tell him, so you really will know when the timing is right. If you approach it right and if he is the great guy that he sounds like, I am sure he will be very understanding and support you through this. I am of the opinion that if you care about someone, it is better to tell them sooner rather than later so you have no trust issues. It also helps to tell early in a relationship in case they don't react the way you thought they would-- then you find out early enough that they are not the person you were meant to be with and save yourself a little bit of extra heartache.
I agree with Ornament too that you can download the handbook from Terri Warren and read some of the other posts to educate yourself for your own knowledge, and also to be prepared for any questions he may have when you tell him.
Chin up and keep smiling with a positive attitude and you can get through this!!! :D
From what I understand, it can take time for your body to build up the antibodies for a positive result on some of the tests for hsv. Maybe this is what is happening with you since the MD said that the result was higher this past time. I read that it can take 3-4 months for the antibodies to build up completely. So, I would go through with the test again in a month like your MD suggested just to be sure.
As far as dealing with the bf, it sounds like you really want to tell him, so you really will know when the timing is right. If you approach it right and if he is the great guy that he sounds like, I am sure he will be very understanding and support you through this. I am of the opinion that if you care about someone, it is better to tell them sooner rather than later so you have no trust issues. It also helps to tell early in a relationship in case they don't react the way you thought they would-- then you find out early enough that they are not the person you were meant to be with and save yourself a little bit of extra heartache.
I agree with Ornament too that you can download the handbook from Terri Warren and read some of the other posts to educate yourself for your own knowledge, and also to be prepared for any questions he may have when you tell him.
Chin up and keep smiling with a positive attitude and you can get through this!!! :D
Lostiefan1
05-23-2008, 12:29 PM
Thanks so much Ducky!! I really appreciate everyone's help, yeah i'm gonna go ahead and have this conversatoin with my bf next week after his bday. Even though i'm not looking forward to telling because i don't know how his going to react, but at the same time i'm going to be relieved once he knows. I have a question though, like i mentioned before as of yet i don't have any symptoms or ob down there (knock on wood) and was wondering do you recommend taking treatment and everything once i get the ob or should i start now? I just don't know what should be better, and are the medicine expensive if you don't have insurance? What medicine is the best? Well thanks to everyone for your helful advice! Y'all have a good and safe weekend!
Lostiefan1
05-28-2008, 12:49 PM
Hey guys, how was everyone's memorial weekend? Well i just wanted to give you guys a little update on my situation...well i finally had the talk with my bf, and gosh i was freekin scared of telling him! I felt like i was gonna get an axiety attack or something. lol!! But as i was telling him i just started crying and i told him everything, of course he was very surprise at the news, and he still is trying to sink everything in. He told me that he was sorry about the whole thing and that this doesn't change on how he sees me and how he feels about me. I guess those are some of the reasons i was scared but he made me feel so much better. His love and support is what i needed, he told me that his not going anywhere, he's with me till the end. And that he doesn't want to lose me because of this, so i'm really happy and relieved at the same time. So from now on we just need to be careful, he even told me if i wanted he could come with me when i go to take another test next month. So that was really nice of him to say. I have a question though, since i have both Herpes 1 and 2, what medicine does the dr. prescribes for Herpes1 on the lips? Will it be the same as Herpes 2? I don't know that's why i'm wondering. And how much will it be? Well thanks for everyone's advice, i really appreciate it. I know i was very scared when i found out, and i still am bc i don't know what to expect, and i know everyone's body reacts different to this. But the fact is that i have it, and now i have to leave with it and try to have a normal life. Thanks again, you guys are awesome!!!! lol!!! Take care!
Ornament
05-28-2008, 06:49 PM
Lostie ~
Yipeeeeeeeeeee for you! :D I can feel your relief and I am so glad that your bf is there for you! That is the best news - you could of hoped for!
The first thing you have to do is stop (easier said than done) letting this virus consume you, (mentally) it will be ok. You have to control the virus without it controlling you.There are "warning" signs that an ob is approaching.:mad: I get tingles, pinches, slight stings or a burn sensation down below and at that time I start taking acyclovir at the very onset to "ward" off the virus. Sometimes, I even spray my lower region with peroxide (relief & cheap) that I keep in a spray bottle. This combination seems to send the virus into hibernation. Which is where it needs to stay! Usually doctors perscribe Valtrex or acyclovir. (Valtrex did nothing for me) Both can be costly, but thankfully I have insurance. I'm thinking Valtrex costs about $80.00 for 30 tablets. (someone correct me if I'm wrong) But, you're not at that point, lucky you! If you don't have any ob's relax, enjoy & go on about your life. Enjoy your love and enjoy all that pleases you - the stress you had of telling him is GONE. I'm soooo happy for you!
Take Good Care, -Ornament
P.S. Just don't be a strange to this board and remember we're all here for each other. ;)
Yipeeeeeeeeeee for you! :D I can feel your relief and I am so glad that your bf is there for you! That is the best news - you could of hoped for!
The first thing you have to do is stop (easier said than done) letting this virus consume you, (mentally) it will be ok. You have to control the virus without it controlling you.There are "warning" signs that an ob is approaching.:mad: I get tingles, pinches, slight stings or a burn sensation down below and at that time I start taking acyclovir at the very onset to "ward" off the virus. Sometimes, I even spray my lower region with peroxide (relief & cheap) that I keep in a spray bottle. This combination seems to send the virus into hibernation. Which is where it needs to stay! Usually doctors perscribe Valtrex or acyclovir. (Valtrex did nothing for me) Both can be costly, but thankfully I have insurance. I'm thinking Valtrex costs about $80.00 for 30 tablets. (someone correct me if I'm wrong) But, you're not at that point, lucky you! If you don't have any ob's relax, enjoy & go on about your life. Enjoy your love and enjoy all that pleases you - the stress you had of telling him is GONE. I'm soooo happy for you!
Take Good Care, -Ornament
P.S. Just don't be a strange to this board and remember we're all here for each other. ;)
Lostiefan1
05-29-2008, 03:50 PM
Hey Ornament, how are you doing? Thank you so much for your kind words and advice!!! It really helped me alot, but yeah i feel so much better now that my bf knows everything now, and yes it was killing me not saying anything. But thank god it worked out how i wanted to. But you know what? I'm still concern about something...ok like 2 weeks ago i went to the dermatologist to check what i have on my lip, the dr told me it seems like my lips were dried and that's why i had this little white dry thing on my lip (i think i mentioned it to you already) anyways, but for some reason i still have it. And then a week ago is when i found out i had herpes 1 and i thought that's the thingi had on my lip, so yesterday i called the dr so he can prescribe me something but he said that's not herpes what i have on my lip. So now i'm wondering what that is? I've been having it for a while now and it's not going away, and i still haven't really kissed my bf that much bc i thought it was herpes, but now i don't know if i still or not? The dr told me if i wanted i could go see him and do a coscopy (i think that's what he said?) on my lip and take tissue or something to test it but i don't know bc it's gonna be pretty expensive. I just need to get insurance first and then go do that. But i really want to know what it is though, has anyone heard of what i have on my lip before? But yeah i just love my bf very much and am glad his sticking by my side.
Ornament, of course i'm gonna stick around, i'm not gonna leave just like that. lol!!1 Just like you guys helped me out, i want to do the same for other people too! Thanks a bunch!! Oh and i can't wait to see the season finale of LOST tonight!!! It's gonna be crazy!!! lol!! You guys take care!!!
Ornament, of course i'm gonna stick around, i'm not gonna leave just like that. lol!!1 Just like you guys helped me out, i want to do the same for other people too! Thanks a bunch!! Oh and i can't wait to see the season finale of LOST tonight!!! It's gonna be crazy!!! lol!! You guys take care!!!