Still having difficulty getting over the loss of my 15 year old son; I can't understand how life could be so cruel.

Find it awkward to talk to acquaintances who don't know about his death as they either get very tearful themselves {which sets me off} or rush off in embarrassment.

Had my youngest sons head MRI scanned so that we can be alerted to any problems although the specialist says if anything shows up there is a not a lot they can do. We are all praying here that the MRI high resolution scan comes up negative.

How do people cope with the pain of losing one of their children; I would love to have some strategies to cope with my pain.

I have got grief counselling for my youngest son which seems to be going well although haven't found anyone for myself or my husband yet.

Thanks

Aussiemum50

Hi Aussie Mum 50,

I am so truly sorry for your loss. I didn't experience the exact same loss as you but I did lose a loved one about 8 months ago.

I have heard that there is no pain like the pain you experience when you lose a child. You also sound fearful for your younger son now which wouldn't be making things easier.

I think it's great that you have your younger son in grief counselling. But I also strongly suggest that you and your husband take part in a support group or one on one counselling. It really does help.

I don't know if anyone will be able to offer strategies on how to cope or function better, it seems to be a day by day process. Baby steps. People tell me to keep busy and find a hobby but that just annoys me! Might sound silly but when you feel like we do, all you want to do is sit at home because it’s your comfort zone and that is the only place that seems to make any sense.

Take comfort in the loved ones around you like your husband & younger son -I found that my biggest support was my mum. She seemed to be the ONLY person who understood how I felt because she too was experiencing all the same feelings. I found talking to friends was a waste of time because they didn't understand and they felt uncomfortable and avoided the subject.

Life does seem so cruel doesn't it? But I/we need to believe that there was a bigger plan for our loved ones who were taken from us. I know it makes no sense and I know the pain for the people left behind is indescribable but I try and live every day as best I can because that's what our departed loved ones would want us to do.

I found writing in a journal has helped and taking long walks and just listening to my ipod... You don't need to push yourself to be doing anything - just do what makes you feel comfortable and if that's sitting at home for 2 days straight watching DVD's on the lounge in your PJ's, well then do it! There is no time limit on grief and there is no wrong or right way to handle it.

One thing I know is that life will never be the same. Nothing will ever quite feel the way it used to and we will never be who we once were. But eventually we will find a new normal and I believe we will find a way to get through each day and we need to try and make the most of the time we have left.

Good Luck Aussie Mum 50. I wish you all the best and you will be in my thoughts.