Has anyone out there lost a child I am having a very hard time coping..help

Dear Denyor,

I have not lost a child but just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you must be going through. Have you considered grief counseling? I know there are groups that meet for that. It may help to talk and share with people who have suffered a loss such as yours.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Big Hugs,

JB

Has anyone out there lost a child I am having a very hard time coping..help

Hi Denyor,
I lost my daughter last month...and I too, am struggling horribly. The pain runs through every strand of your being, non stop. How old was your son, and how long ago was it that he died? I'm sorry...I wish I had some encouraging words...but you're not alone out there. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, don't try and interrupt the process.
And try and hang in there.
Amber

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain. May you find peace and comfort to help you through the roughest times.

Hi Denyor,
I lost my daughter last month...and I too, am struggling horribly. The pain runs through every strand of your being, non stop. How old was your son, and how long ago was it that he died? I'm sorry...I wish I had some encouraging words...but you're not alone out there. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, don't try and interrupt the process.
And try and hang in there.
Amber

My son was 26 years old he died in Iraq. Some of the guys were on patrol and starting taking fire. they called for back up and he and 3 of his men went in to help they were hit by a IED and the bradley exploded along with all the ammo that was inside it. He was a Staff Sergeant and it was his second deployment. He was to come home for two weeks the first of July. He leaves behind a wife and 18 month old boy. I can't get closure because it was a closed casket. HE died on EASTER night so it's been two months.

Dear Denyor,

I have not lost a child but just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you must be going through. Have you considered grief counseling? I know there are groups that meet for that. It may help to talk and share with people who have suffered a loss such as yours.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Big Hugs,

JB

Dear Denyor,

I have not lost a child but just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you must be going through. Have you considered grief counseling? I know there are groups that meet for that. It may help to talk and share with people who have suffered a loss such as yours.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Big Hugs,

JB
I have a appointment for counseling Tuesday, but my husband is against it he said ,can talk to me.

Hi Denyor,
I lost my daughter last month...and I too, am struggling horribly. The pain runs through every strand of your being, non stop. How old was your son, and how long ago was it that he died? I'm sorry...I wish I had some encouraging words...but you're not alone out there. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, don't try and interrupt the process.
And try and hang in there.
Amber

NVD- maybe we can be there for each other I know it helps to talk and I really don't have anyone to talk to. My son was 26 and he was so awesome. Always making people laugh and uo beat. He started out in the old guard in D.C.,but voluteered to go to Iraq...

Hi Danyor, Of course I'll be here to listen when you want to talk. I'm so sorry to hear of your son. He sounds like an amazing man. My daughter was five weeks old when she died of what they think is SIDS. We haven't yet got the final autopsy/toxicology report, but the initial report didn't show anything specific that would have caused her death. I am the one who found her little body and tried CPR until the medics got there and took her away...and I'm struggling more than ever with all the flashbacks. It's been seven weeks today...I miss her more than I ever thought was possible.
I'd love to talk more, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm more than willing to listen. (((hugs))) to you.
Amber

Hi Danyor, Of course I'll be here to listen when you want to talk. I'm so sorry to hear of your son. He sounds like an amazing man. My daughter was five weeks old when she died of what they think is SIDS. We haven't yet got the final autopsy/toxicology report, but the initial report didn't show anything specific that would have caused her death. I am the one who found her little body and tried CPR until the medics got there and took her away...and I'm struggling more than ever with all the flashbacks. It's been seven weeks today...I miss her more than I ever thought was possible.
I'd love to talk more, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm more than willing to listen. (((hugs))) to you.
Amber

You can take comfort in knowing she is an angel now just like my son, he had recently gotten close to JESUS. I guess seeing all they see over there would cause a life change he was always a great kid though. Sometimes life seems so unfair. I think, why did he have to be the one who went in for backup, but I guess we will know someday.

Hi Denyor,
I hope you're doing okay today. Your son will specifically be in my prayers this Memorial Day.
I believe my daughter is an angel...but I don't find a lot of comfort in that....she's supposed to be here with us. It's been seven weeks, and the further out we get the more I miss her. I miss her so much Denyor...it really isn't fair. She was too young...her time was too short. Ay, I could just scream.
I'm sure you feel the same. I never imagined burrying one of my children...the order is wrong. It hurts so badly; I've never felt a pain this intense and crippling. And from what I hear...this is it. This is life. The pain will never go away...we'll just get used to it...we'll learn how to live our lives with the pain. And that scares me. I don't know that I'm strong enough to keep this up. Sigh...
Try and hang in there...sorry to be such a downer today.
Amber

Denyor & Nvd

I was only passing through this board on the way to some others. And this posting really touched my heart.
I have never lost a child, I can't imagine the depth of sorrow, frustration, anger, and the great loss. But I do know that allow yourself to grieve, there are different steps in the grieving process, they DO NOT always follow a set course & many times you may "revisit" feelings often or all of the way, this is okay. There is no "time" limit for grieving, so do not let anyone tell or imply that there is.
But it is very important to communicate & starting with each other is great. Talk get it out, this is important on a regular basis. If you feel that someday you may need a little more help, Please seek it out. There is nothing wrong with needing help & support. But I caution you to seek grief support groups specific to your losses & grief councelors, they have a better understanding of the grief you feel.

Please know you will both be in my prayers. And your angels will be in my heart.
Sincerely,
Alyson

Unfortunately it doesn't get easier although people tell me that time does allow you to dwell more on the more positive memories of your deceased son. Can't say that has happened to me yet.

I have had a nephew who was 23 year old and died in a parachuting accident in the UK 10 years ago when the main parachute wrapped round his body so he was unable to reach the emergency chute in time. His parent my brother and his wife took his death extremely badly and could not see any hope for the future; they have been in contact with me since my eldest died and send they are now managing to remember the positive things about their son.

I know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you please try and get as much grief counselling as you can. It does help to ease a little of the pain and I, my husband and my youngest will start grief counselling soon. Try and get in touch with a support group who can see you and know what you are going through at the moment; we who have lost our children all need this kind of support group as I think it is the only way to get through this horrendous thing that has taken our lovely children away from us.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Take care

Aussiemum

I know the feelings you are going thru, I lost my 18 yr old son 18 weeks ago today.
I'm sorry to say that at least for me the pain has not gone away, you just learned to live a "new normal" life. I went to a greiving group for 3 weeks, it helped me to let all my pain come out without no reservations, because I knew everyone there knows the feeling.
Losing a child is the most painful experience for any mother. There is not a single day that my son is not in my mind(day & night). I have read lots of books to find some kind of comfort, but unfortunately nothing has made the pain go away and I don't think nothing ever will..what keeps me going is my other 2 children. I try to focus on there well being rather than focus on my own grief.

Life just "Sucks" after you lose one of the most precious gifts God has given us.
A good day for me is when I can smile and talk about my son without shedding some tears. A bad day is when I just become selfish and I want a kiss, hug, an "I love you mom" or just a smile from him. I know thats impossible but heart yearns for simple things I took for granted when my son was here.

The only person that continues to give me the peace and strength to live one day at a time is God. Faith is what keeps going.
As for counseling...I have not gone and I dont think I would go, because I figured if a person has not lost a child, they will never understand my pain. So, my counselor is God and believe it or not he always gives me the answers...I just need to listen with my heart.

I'm not sure anything I have said helps, but know that I know the pain,anger, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness that you and all the mothers that have lost their child feel. This is the worst club to belong to.

Please know that I pray to GOD every night to give us (all mothers) peace.Im just sorry you have to be part of this prayer now.

Keep the Faith and take one day at a time.

Big hug

Denyor & Nvd

I was only passing through this board on the way to some others. And this posting really touched my heart.
I have never lost a child, I can't imagine the depth of sorrow, frustration, anger, and the great loss. But I do know that allow yourself to grieve, there are different steps in the grieving process, they DO NOT always follow a set course & many times you may "revisit" feelings often or all of the way, this is okay. There is no "time" limit for grieving, so do not let anyone tell or imply that there is.But it is very important to communicate & starting with each other is great. Talk get it out, this is important on a regular basis. If you feel that someday you may need a little more help, Please seek it out. There is nothing wrong with needing help & support. But I caution you to seek grief support groups specific to your losses & grief councelors, they have a better understanding of the grief you feel.

Please know you will both be in my prayers. And your angels will be in my heart.
Sincerely,
Alyson

Thank you Alyson for your kind message. That quote up there...I wish everyone could understand this. I've been told so many times that "It's time to move on", and that I have a choice in the way I'm feeling. Makes me so damn angry! It's my daughter that I lost...not a dog or a cat. People grieve the loss of their dogs longer than this. Sigh.
Thanks again...it means a lot.
Amber

Hi Aussie and GKB.
Thanks for the messages. I'm sorry for your loss as well. You both are right...the pain will never go away. The pain runs too deep and wide to ever fully go away. We'll learn to live with the pain....but it will NEVER go away. I've seen a grief counsellor, and a regular therapist, but usually end up leaving feeling worse than I did when I went in. It's a lot of tough work getting through these flashbacks, and it gets exhausting. It's been seven weeks, but it feels like an eternity. Anyway........
(((hugs))) to all of you...try and hang in there.
Amber

Hi Denyor, just wanted to check in and see how you're holding up. Hope you're doing okay....
Amber