Today my gynecologist called me to tell me that I tested positive for herpes. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm trying to find some logic in what's happened--I haven't had too many partners (intercourse or oral) and I've been in a monogamous relationship for the past five months. For the past four, we've been relying on hormonal birth control only (we both got a general STDs test--didn't know it excluded herpes) and I haven't had any outbreaks until now. He has yet to have an outbreak.

I'm having a really difficult time understanding how this happened. I spoke to the last partner I had before my boyfriend, and he says he's never had any symptoms of cold sores, genital blisters, etc. My boyfriend as well, besides not showing any symptoms, generally knows the sexual history of his past partners. There's only one other person I've slept with, and that was over a year ago, and I was his second partner (intercourse and oral). For everyone else who performed oral (and there aren't too many), I was their first.

I guess that's a rather detailed summary of my sexual history, but I'm really trying to figure out the likelihood of my contracting herpes. To be honest, when I went to my gynecologist, I thought it was just a really terrible yeast infection, especially because this year I've had multiple cases of vaginitis (which perhaps facillitated the expression of an outbreak). I have a relatively weak immune system--is this why none of my partners have shown any symptoms and I am?

I wonder if there's any use in getting retested. When my gynecologist told me the results (I don't know what type yet) I asked if they were definite. She said that what I had looked like herpes, and the test confirmed it. Well, I guess that answers the question. I just don't know how to cope. I've been feeling very depressed (especially because I don't know if things are going to work out with my boyfriend--he's been acting very distant), and I keep crunching numbers and thinking of "probability." I'm trying to rationalize this, and I can't help but feel disbelief.

I know this isn't "the end of the world," but it feels that way. I'm only nineteen, and I can't help but feel like I'll never have a normal love life again. I can deal with having this disease, but it just hurts knowing there will always be the risk of me harming the people I love the most.

I know i wont help u much, but u r not alone, we here mostly like have herpes, i know u didnt want to be contracted but , well neither do we.
Maybe ur ex partner lie to you, or he really doesnt have any oubreak, but it can still spread the virus.
Maybe u can do a retest later.
In the mean while, check out some of the natural herbs like Oil of oregano and olive leaf extract that soppose help on herpes. There are two post, check them out.

Good luck

From what I understand, the person you are with doesn't have to have any symptoms in order to spread it along. My boyfriend claims to have never had symptoms either, so I assume that I contracted it from him while he was shedding (no symptoms, but still exposing the virus).

As a woman, you are more likely to contract it, particularly as a woman with a weak immune system. I understand what you are going through as I have been feeling what you do for the past few months too (I am only 25).

Here's what I have learned: Try to stay positive. The more depressed you are, the worse your symptoms are. Own the disease. Learn everything you can about it and then work on your physical well-being. Start taking garlic and/or echinacea for that immune system, sleep, don't drink too much, and exercise. DOn't worry about who gave it to you or what your boyfriend thinks about it. It's a part of you now and being strong physically and emotionally, indepedent and diligent in making sure your body is working at the highest level will give you the power to not only fight the disease, but to deal with the emotions of it.

Good luck and feel free to ask questions. Posting here was a great first step.