I slept with someone who failed to tell me he had herpes. He was the first guy I've slept with in over a year, and it was the first time in my life I've ever had unprotected sex.
I've been to the gyno already to get tested, but she didn't test me for it... she said the blood test would probably be inconclusive! what the hell does that mean? She said to come back if I see anything. But I check myself religiously, I'm so paranoid. But I don't really know what I'm looking for.
It's been about 3 months since I've slept with this guy, and I don't think i've had an outbreak. But then again, I really have no idea what I'm looking for... I'm so scared..

How long does it take to have an outbreak after you've been exposed?

please someone help me, please.

Sometimes when you have a blood test without an actual outbreak it will show negative or inconclusive. The best way for a doc to tell is to swab the site while having an OB. Most people know when they have their first OB. If it's typical of most OB it will be a small cluster of fluid filled bumps. They are usually very painful and itchy. Some people can have an inactive case of herpes for a life time. Most people have OB 7-14 days after initial exposure. Hope this hellps a little!!

thank you sooo much.
So what would you think about my situation?
Should I already have had an outbreak?

Does it lessen my chances of getting it if the person who had it didn't have an outbreak at the time?

I've never heard of a blood test being inconclusive or negative just because there is no outbreak. Once your exposed to the virus, outbreak or not, your body starts building antibodies that will be able to be detected by an ELISA, Pockit, or Western Blot blood test. The reason your doctor said the test would probably be inconclusive is because you didn't wait long enough to build up enough detectable antibodies. Therefore you could get a false negative if you tested too early.

Colbe, are you talking about HIV? I've had herpes for several years now with very few outbreaks and my test still shows negative. Although my swabs of the site were positive.

Ivebeenused, I really can't say about your situation because it could just lie dormant. I will say statistics show that happens more in men then in women. Some people will feel differently about this, but it is said that the actual fluid inside the bump speads the virus. I don't think that's true, but I do he has to be in the process of having an OB. Meaning, he already feels one coming on. Maybe someone else will be able to help you.

Also, do a topic to TheOneInFour. They really seem to know what they are talking about when it comes to this subject. I'm not sure if they've been on lately, but maybe you can get some help from them!!!

If you were going to have an initial OB it would have likely occurred around the first 2-20 days. But, you could be one of the many people who go asymptomatic for awhile before you eventually have an OB sometime in the future, whether it be tomorrow, 6 months from now, or 6 years from now. If you aren't showing symptoms and you want to ease your mind, wait a good 4-5 months after your exposure date and have a western blot blood test performed. There will be a high probability of it being accurate, whether the results are positive or negative. Normo may be some kind of rare exception, but generally, you can be pretty confident with the blood results you receive, so long as you wait a sufficient amount of time to get tested.

Normo, are you sure you were getting the right blood tests performed? There is only a very very small percentage of people who never turn seropositive for HERPES on a blood test if they do indeed have herpes, and specifically if they've had it for a long time.

by the way, you definitely dont have to "feel" anything coming on to be contagious. That fluid definitely contains viral material, but the virus is microscopic and just because their aren't fluid filled bumps or blisters doesn't mean you can't still be shedding. You can asymptomatically shed the virus randomly through the year, not often but it does happen. In fact, the majority of people who get herpes, get it from people who didn't even know they were having OB. That is in fact the very essence of why this virus is so hard to stop from spreading.

I'll try to give a brief comment here. (Ya right, since when have I ever given a brief comment... LOL) Ivebeenused, I'm so sorry you're so upset and afraid from this. First of all, you may not have caught anything. Are you absolutely certain he does in fact have herpes? It sounds like you heard that he did, although you don't give details; 3rd party rumours are not always to be trusted.

*IF* he does have herpes, you still may not have caught it. It's a possibility but not a guarantee. Herpes requires certain things to take place before it is passed from one person to another. (1) The source person needs to be shedding the virus at the time (which may or may not show as visible symptoms), and (2) the recipient needs to have a break in the skin somehow for the virus to enter through the skin (cut, sore, irritation, scratch, etc.) Although it can be easy for both to happen, it doesn't always, so it's not a given that you've got it.

If he didn't have symptoms, yes that does decrease your risk of getting it. Unfortunately it doesn't eliminate the risk since it's still possible to "shed" the virus in with or without symptoms, which is what makes the person contagious. This only happens some of the time, but we don't always know when it's happening unfortunately.

Unfortunately condoms don't always protect you from herpes, since the shedding could be happening outside the condom-covered area. Condoms do reduce the risk, but don't eliminate it. I'm saying this for future reference for you, since you will want to be aware of this, whether you find you've caught it or not. We can talk more about this after I'm back from vacation next week, if you want.

Your doctor said the blood tests would be inconclusive because it would have been too soon to trust a negative result. It can take up to 12-16 weeks for enough antibodies to build up in the bloodstream to be measured accurately by the blood tests. So it's possible, very soon after your exposure, to get a negative test result and still have caught it. The accurate positive result (if you have it) might not show up until several weeks afterwards.

If you're paying out of pocket for the blood test, it might be better to wait at least a few weeks before you test. On the other hand, it might be useful to test right away to get a "baseline" of what you do and don't have. It might be too late by now to get an accurate baseline, but I'd suggest you test as soon as possible if you can afford the possibility of having to test again a couple of months down the road.

Do be sure to use a type-specific test when you do, though. It's probably HSV-2 that the guy has (assuming he does have it), if it's genital herpes. Since most people already have HSV-1 in the form of oral cold sores, it's important to know which types are showing up.

As for developing symptoms (assuming you did catch it), they tend to show up in the first few weeks, but people can go years or their whole lives without symptoms. People sometimes get minor symptoms too and don't realise it's herpes, like tiny cuts in the genital area or itching/tingling or a rash. I don't want you to be paranoid of every sensation or irritation you get there though.

Your best bet is to get the blood tests done. If it comes back negative for HSV-2, wait until 4 months after your encounter and test again to be sure.

I hope this helps and that the info isn't too late to be useful to you. Do let us know what you find out. Good luck! I'll check back on this thread when I'm back next week. In the meantime, try not to stress out. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

TheOneInFour

I first just wanna say that you guys are so awesome with the way you respect and reply to people....what i dont understand is in my personal life with my beautiful girlfriend that i love dearly, she gets this patches of little blisters on the left or right of the entrance but never inside...and its only there for a few days then its gone..ive never had a outbreak..my doctor advsd me that i have a dual blood defense system..so how can she have it and not me...she hasnt been with anyone for years..and my doctor says im clean..that im rare with a dual defense sys...thank you all for being here..

doug

Hi Doug,

I have no idea what a "dual defense system" is but just because you don't get outbreaks (OBs) doesn't prove you don't have herpes. A majority of people with herpes don't get symptoms or else don't get symptoms they recognise as being herpes.

If you two can afford it, and if you really want to find out if either of you has herpes, I'd strongly suggest getting *type-specific* blood tests for both of you. (The tests that can't detect the type won't tell you much.) You don't have to be having an OB for the test to be accurate, but there does need to be a certain amount of time after initial infection for the positive result to show up. This can be as long as 4 months after initial infection, but usually more like a few weeks.

If you and your girlfriend are in a monogamous, committed relationship, it may or may not be important to you to find out if you have it. If you would do anything differently with her, depending on whether you know you have it or not, then I'd suggest you get the blood test done. If not then it might not be worth the cost.

One way to save money could be to get her tested (if she hasn't been already) and find out what type she has (probably HSV-2 but could also be HSV-1). She could get a culture swab test done next time she has an OB, ideally within 24-48 hours of the onset of symptoms, which would be a lot cheaper than a blood test and should give the type as part of the results (assuming the result is positive; swab tests are notorious for returning inaccurate negative results). If she has HSV-2, you could save a bundle by getting the POCkit test, which gives results in minutes for a fraction of the price of other blood tests. The catch is that it only tests for HSV-2, so if your gf has HSV-1 genitally the POCkit won't be of any help to you.

It might be helpful for your gf to know what type she has (and it does sound like she probably has it), as this can have implications about how to minimise the risk of you getting it. If she has HSV-1, you're more at risk for getting it by giving her oral sex, since HSV-1 transmits more easily to the mouth area, but you could get it genitally too. Regardless of which of you has which type, you should avoid skin-to-skin contact with her genital area during those outbreaks.

I hope that helps!

TheOneInFour