Hello all,

I recently bought a gym membership in January and was going quite regularly until my grandmother was diagnosed in mid March with pancreatic cancer. I went out to see her and say my goodbyes (I live in British Columbia, she was in Alberta, Canada)... I came back home, lived my life as much as I could and then I got the call on April 1st from my Dad letting me know she passed away that morning. I of course then flew out for her funeral in mid April and was there for almost a week. But since then, I haven't been able to really pick up on my fitness stuff just because I was sort of side tracked with the whole thing plus the stupid gas prices (it's at 134.9 here), I've been trying to limit the amount I drive. I've been tempted to walk to and from school but that's about 3.4km one way so over 6km total to and from. I just don't have the motivation though to do that much right away. I've tried to go out for walks around the block but that seems to only get me so far some days and then I sort of go, "Okay, it's too hot out!" and lose track once again! Help!

I'm sorry about your grandmother. And, yes, it is difficult to start exercising again after an interruption.

You know, if the roads are suitable, your school commute is a good distance to bike.

Also, you can try going to the gym with a friend. Save gas that way.

Yes, I sure miss her... in fact, last night for some odd reason, I was trying to get to bed and I couldn't help but cry just because of the fact that I miss her so much and that I was really close to her... I miss having that communication between us. I would do anything to have her back!

Anyway, I'm not able to really handle a bike anymore mostly because I've got the world's worst coordination! :P And my kneecaps have a tendency to dislocate which I've found on a bicycle. I actually had a really nice bike that was about $600 but I had to sell it because of the fact that I found it super difficult to ride with my knees, etc.

I'm thinking to and from my school isn't bad but I don't know if I would want to walk it if it's super hot outside or perhaps walk it if it's cooler / early evening. In my mind it doesn't seem like it's that bad but I did calculate in my car from my apartment building to the parking lot of the school and it is just over 3km. It's too bad there's not a way I could walk there one way and then have someone pick me up, etc. My boyfriend is at work during the afternoon/early evening which is usually when I go to school as I'm not a morning person!:) Hmm...

Let me first say to you, that I mean absolutely no disrespect. I'm sorry to hear about your loved one.

However that being said, the worst thing you can start doing is making excuses for yourself. Grieving is a natural and necessary process, but it should not deter you from exercise. The reason I say this is because exercise is in my opinion the BEST way to clear your head, it's also a great way to reflect on whatever is on your mind, loved ones, religion, anything.

Now past your loved one lets get to the next set of excuses, your knees. Now I'm not a medical professional, so I do suggest seeing your doctor about what exercise is best for you. However I can guarantee he will say it is a great thing for you to exercise, it will only strengthen your knees and prevent future dislocations. I used to make the exact same excuse as you about my shoulders (both HAD dislocation problems) now I frequent the gym, and my shoulders are stronger then they have been since I initially hurt them.

Also my suggestion is to forget about the gym when you are going to and from school or whatever. Instead find a time slot when you have nothing going on, and focus on having an intense workout. Just 20 minutes of intense cardio (I recommend HIIT) three times a week will make a noticeable difference in your physique over time along with health eating. Though on non cardio days I highly recommend weight training (yes even for women!)

Anyways just think of how great a feeling it will be to be in great shape, I'm sure your grandmother would be proud of your hard work! Good dieting and exercise will benefit your life in more ways then you thought. Increased energy, happiness, self worth, positivity, health, and the list could go on.

This time around set goals, and dont let yourself down.

You can do it!;)


Yes, I sure miss her... in fact, last night for some odd reason, I was trying to get to bed and I couldn't help but cry just because of the fact that I miss her so much and that I was really close to her... I miss having that communication between us. I would do anything to have her back!

Anyway, I'm not able to really handle a bike anymore mostly because I've got the world's worst coordination! :P And my kneecaps have a tendency to dislocate which I've found on a bicycle. I actually had a really nice bike that was about $600 but I had to sell it because of the fact that I found it super difficult to ride with my knees, etc.

I'm thinking to and from my school isn't bad but I don't know if I would want to walk it if it's super hot outside or perhaps walk it if it's cooler / early evening. In my mind it doesn't seem like it's that bad but I did calculate in my car from my apartment building to the parking lot of the school and it is just over 3km. It's too bad there's not a way I could walk there one way and then have someone pick me up, etc. My boyfriend is at work during the afternoon/early evening which is usually when I go to school as I'm not a morning person!:) Hmm...

I'm not making excuses for myself. I have seen both my doctor and a trainer at my gym and both my doctor and the trainer both said to strengthen the muscles around the kneecaps but don't necessarily do any of the lunges or exercises that will have you bending your knee at a 90* angle. The trainer at the gym tried having me do the 'lunges' where you're up against a wall with an exercise ball and you push down to 90* degrees. I couldn't do those. My kneecaps would crack seconds after going down.

I am still in the grieving process as well. I was very close to my grandmother and I've been more focused on school this past month since she passed away and haven't had my mind on exercising. Especially when it's 80 or 90 degrees out, you're not really in the mood to go out for a long walk. At least I don't work that way. I do not live in the same province as she did so I can't just go visit her at the cemetery like I was able to do with both of my grandfathers who passed away in the last 10 years.

Although I may not be 100% exercising, I have made steps as far as eating and what not. I have stopped eating out completely and may once or twice a month get something to go but that's only if I'm in a big hurry and there's nothing available in the kitchen to prep. I have been making that effort but when you're going to school full time and then come home do all the dishes/laundry, etc and relax for a few, the thing that doesn't pop into my head right away is "Yes, let's go to the gym!"... if I'm watching tv after relaxing from a long day, I have often gone out for a walk around the block just to get out and get some fresh air. So I AM making the effort and I'm NOT making excuses.

It's only been just over a month and a half since she passed away and after losing someone who you cared and loved deeply and you were close to, I wouldn't expect anyone to just jump right back into whatever they were doing. Once I came back from her funeral and came back to my home, I had to carry on with school even though I didn't want to. My mind wasn't there but once I got home, I kept eating properly, stopped eating out, etc and have gone on a walk or two, etc... but I haven't gone to the gym just because I find I have more motivation by going out for a walk if it's nice (and not 80-90 degrees outside) rather than driving to the gym, working out for an hour in a building and not getting any fresh air, etc. I'm just not exercising as much as I did in the months prior to her passing.... it's not that I'm just making excuses and saying, "Nah, I won't bother"... I'm just lacking the motivation to get to the point of where I was before. It's not that I'm lazy or making excuses about my knees or my grandmother... like I said, I'm still in the grieiving process. I miss her and I haven't had the proper time to actually 'grieve' because once the funeral was over with, I flew back home and went on with school and what not.

Jrenter,

I'm sorry about you losing your grandmother. The grieving process lasts a long time. I remember when my father died, I felt very raw and emotional for a long time. I couldn't stand being around "chirpy" cheery people, and I found myself avoiding social events where I would run into such people. You need time to grieve.

One of the things that helped me was having his ashes in a box (ewww -- I know -- it's not for everyone!!!), and my mother and sister and I took turns having the box at our homes. We could use the box as a focus for dealing with our feelings towards him. It helped a lot.

Since that is not one of your options (and it probably isn't one that you personally would choose anyway :angel:), perhaps there is some other way that you could create a memorial to her, that would allow you to focus your grieving thoughts. Since you ask about how to get back into exercise, perhaps there is something small that you could carry with you when you go for brisk walks in a park or do your exercises. Perhaps even a piece of paper with her name on it that can be carried in a locket around your neck. Perhaps you can have a family member send you a photo of her gravestone. Perhaps you can find a way to make a connection between the healing of your heart and the healing of your body. As you go for walks or do your prescribed exercises at the gym, you can think about your grandmother.

And if you are just too raw at the moment to put any serious effort into exercise, it's more than ok to allow yourself time to grieve. Some people are able to jump right back into their regular activities, and some people need some quiet time for contemplation. Whatever you decide is fine. :angel:

--Rheanna