HI ladies. Has anyone ever had depression while on Clomid? Or any fertility meds? I'm starting to scare myself a bit---I burst into tears at the smallest thing, I'm scared, I don't know who I am. :confused: I don't know if it's Clomid (my friend the 100mg dose) or if it's my cycle getting me down. I just don't feel happy or positive or anything. I don't know what's wrong! It's driving me crazy. I'm worried about myself. After work, I had a shower and crawled into bed. That's not at all like me. :( I got up about an hour later, but still. I"m trying to be stronger, but other things, unrelated to IF keep happening. Even my mother is at a loss how to calm me down. I just feel like this cycle is cursed. I keep getting curveballs thrown at me. I'm so down, and I don't know how to get out of it. I tried writing in my journal, but it's so rambling and blathering that I end up crying and even more confused. :( Does anyone have any tips, advice or stories to help me?

Oh Princess Im so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, Im sure its probably a combination of things all hitting you at once. The disappointment of the last cycle, raging hormones, the fear that this cycle wont work plus other things that life likes to throw in (sometimes gives you the feeling like your being kicked while your down). I do know how you are feeling as I feel a bit the same at the moment, almost like a sense of doom, especially about my cycle as I feel nothing is going my way.
Its a wonder any of us stay sane with what we have to endure, all the heartache and disappointment we have to face, all the medications that mess with our hormones and our minds, not to mention all the ignorant idiots we have to deal with in our everyday lives, we are poked, prodded, injected and scrutinized. So I think its ok to have a meltdown every now again.
I guess what I try to remember is that people who get pregnant easily or have oops babies will never feel what we will when we finally get that BFP and hold our miracles for the 1st time, they will never experience that kind of joy, god knows we worked so hard to get there.
I really hope you are feeling better soon and know that you are never alone, we feel and know your pain, you are not crazy.

Cashahn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Princess my dear, my heart goes out to you. I agree with Cashahn and am sure it's a combination of things but mainly, it's just IF. Darned IF (wish I could use stronger words here!) I don't know if it's the clomid but I really don't think you are alone in having that depressed feeling... I'd bet every one of us on the board has had to fight to get out of bed at some point... IF is very depressing at times. But hang in there my good dear friend. You are gonna make an unbelievable mommy and your time IS coming. Love you lots... Hope you waking up feeling much better.

Oh Princess, I am so sorry, havent we all been there? IF can do this to you, I know its hard but you can't let it rob your entire self. Each time I felt like I couldnt handle it nomore I would take a break, 2 or 3 months, got all those hormones out of the system, yeah, it takes at least 2 months, and then got back on the bandwagon. I know its hard to distance yourself from all this, but it will make you feel better and more positive about things. Its good for a change to BD because you want to not because you have to, and just drink a big cup of coffee without thinking that maybe your ovaries are not gonna like too much caffeine.
Have you finished clomid yet this month? Now its just BD?
My dear, last month you must have superovulated, thats alot of things and changes going on with your body. You have won already half the battle dear, you are very close to deafeating the IF Beast, it will happen sooner than you think. Last year you were fighting for an AF, so look how far you've got now.
Will your RE give you an IUI, or add something this month?
I hope you will feel better soon, and dont forget we love you,
Mady

Ladies, I have said it before and I must say it again---I'd be lost without you. Last night was a pretty dark night. I even talked to Dh again abotu maybe taking some time off if this cycle doesn't work out. And he said that as long as I try my best to stay positive throughout this cycle and if we take some time off, then that's fine with him. He said that maybe I'll get pg naturally, like if the Clomid has residual effects, and if not, maybe the doctor will do something different liek Femara or even send me to an RE.

Cash- I'm sorry you're feeling how I'm feeling. It's no fun, is it? You describe it perfectly--a sense of doom. Sort of like "There's no point." I guess we're both having our hard cycle. But you're right. If anything the "norms" shoudl envy us, because they will never get the feeling we do. Not only the rush of emotion and love the everyone gets, but we will get the very powerful feeling of triumph. We'll make it there someday, we really will.

Kari-- Darned IF!! exactly!! (I too wish we could use stronger words when saying that)It's all of these hormones, fears and disappointment swilling around in my head. You're right, time IS coming. I just have to hold on. Maybe if this cycle doens't work out, a break is what I need, just a short one. I wouldn't leave here at all, but just a break from Clomid. Or maybe I woudln't even need a break. I heard Femara is like the same thing as Clomid, but not as harsh. Maybe that could work. Or maybe I could lose some weight and maybe my body will ovulate naturally again. I odn't know but thinking of all these options definitely makes me feel better! ;)

Mady-- I really think that if this cycle doesn't work out I'll take a short break. Not too much, because I don't want to fall off the bandwagon completely, but maybe give up the reins for a bit ;) I'd still stick around here though, for sure. But I think I coul duse the break from the hormones. You make an excellent point, though!! OMG, I never thought about how this time last year, I was begging for AF----and now here she comes pretty much regularly! Yu're right, half the battle has been victorious, and we just have to keep fighting for the other half, even if that means falling back for a little bit. I'm done with the pills, so now it's just BD. I don't know how often that's going to happen, because Dh is on the weird shift and he gets home at midnight and we're both too tired then for anyhting other than a chat. But we will see---all it really takes in one, right? :) And if this doesn't work, I'd suspect that my doctor will hand me over to the RE soon... and I feel really good about that.

Well ladies, I'm feelign a lot better after reading that I'm not the only one who has to fight to get out of bed. I feel liek I'm just fighting off a lot at the moment, and I'm tired. I'm finidng that I'm still a little bit hopeful abotu this cycle. And at the same, I am looking forward to taking a break. I will talk to my docotr about all of this when i go in for my CD 27 consult. Maybe he will give me progesterone to start a period and Clomid or somehting, so that I don't have to see him before I want to start a new cycle. Who knows, right? I just knwo that when I want to start cycling again, I'll want to do it right away :D

I hope you ladies are enjoying your week so far! Remember, it's Tuesday which can only mean one thing.....it's almost Friday!! :D

Princess, I'm so happy to see you are feeling better. I'm sorry you were feeling so down. We have all definitely had those days! IF is such a tough thing to accept & yet we have no choice but to accept it & then try to fight back. It isn't easy by any means. But no matter how long the fight takes & no matter how many times you need to step back & take a break, when you win the fight, you will feel a happiness you never thought you would feel. And your time is coming!! You have come a long way in your journey so far & that bfp is getting closer & closer. I'm praying you will get it this cycle, but if not, a small break sounds like just what the dr ordered. And when you decide you are ready to start fighting again, I'm sure it's going to happen for you. And we will all be with you every step of the wait.

Sending you lots & lots of hugs. You are right, Friday is almost here. :D

Holly

Oh Princess I am so sorry you re having such a rough time.I think we have all been in your shoes.Honestly I think we will all feel that way until we are holding our babies.At the moment I am not working since we have been going through IF DH and I thought it was better for me not to work cause I found it so hard to get up and go to work.Anyway now I just sit in bed every morning saying what do I have to get up to?An empty house and I get out of bed so late.I do try and get out and make plans and at least try to stay saine.Anyway I know its hard but you have to try and keep looking forward look at the future picture where you are holding your sweet baby.Glad you are feeling a bit better.Well take care and have a nice day.

Eva:)

Holly and Eva, thank you so much. I know it's probably silly to say but it feels better that i knwo I'm not alone in feelign this way. Not that I ever wanted you to be sad or anyhting, but just knwoing that nothing is wrong with me, that's good. :) And I'm still not sure if I want to take a break--- but I think it'd probably be best for my sanity lol. Like you, Eva, I wake up in the morning, and when I'm puttering around trying scrape together a decnet breakfast before work, and wonder what'd be liek to be tired from staying up all night with a newborn baby. Or when it's nice outside, wonder when I'll be able to take my little one out to the park and look at the bunnies.
Holly, that really makes me feel so good, just knwoing that when I get there, and I will, it will feel so good! I can't wait, honestly I can't. We just have to keep the faith. And I will. :angel:

Princess, sweetie I'm relieved to hear that your spirits are a little bit lifted today... I know each day is still hard, but I can tell you are hanging in there. I really think it's a good idea to consider a small break, at least from the hormones, if this cycle doesn't work. Please keep in mind that you can vent to us whenever you want. There is not a single thing about IF that is easy... and it would be silly to think you could always be positive. But for the time being, I will remain hopeful for you... it's often the cycles where we least expect it that bring surprise BFP's! Love you my friend!!!

Princess, I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's totally the Clomid talking. I agree that maybe a little break (even just one month) would help. They say that Clomid can remain in your system for up to 6 weeks or so, so just imagine the fact that your body hasn't had a break from it for months. I understand not wanting to take a break, but that may be just what your body needs to produce that BFP! Of course, I'm hoping this third time is still the ticket.

Hope you're feeling a bit better today! Thinking of you! - April

Kari-- you are so sweet. Please tell me that you will still drop by after you graduate! I know, I know, I'm being selfish. I'm sorry. I knwo you won't be able to update here, but I'm hoping that maybe every so often you might pop in. :angel: Wow!! can you imagine, after all this time, dearest, you're pg? And not just that, but in a week's time you're going to graduate? I'm so proud of you. You're right, it'd be silly to think that I can be posiitve all the time. And you're right, maybe I'll get a surprise BFP!

April-- Thank you for still having faith in this cycle, even when I have trouble.That's SO sweet of you. I never knew that Clomid stay that long! Wow, my body must be swimming with hormones!!

You know, when my DH and I first started trying, he ate well, didn't drink and rarely ever smoked. But now...now, he drinks on weekends and smokes everyday. I was thinking, that if we do take a break, maybe during that break time he and I could work together. I'll avoid the cookies and chips and make a concious effort to work out; and he can avoid the cigarettes and beer and maybe work out with me. I worry what those bad habits are doing his once normal sperm count.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing better, especially now that the end of the day is in sight!

Hang in there Princess we will soon be staying up all night with a crying baby and taking our little ones to the park and seeing their precious faces light up while having so much fun at the park.As for DH's habits it might be good if you can reach a compromise maybe if he cuts back on the bad habits and hopefully slowly ctop them all together.A little advice dont push him to hard cause IF is so hard as it is.Maybe you can tell him that you will help him at least cut back and see how that goes.Well good luck on making these changes I wish you the best.I will pray you get that BFP this cycle so you wont even have to worry about all that.

Eva:)

My dear Princess!
You are not alone in your feelings!!! When I was on clomid, I was an absolute wreck...it was the worst I have ever felt in my life. I had no energy, I was so angry, I felt so helpless. All I did was come home from work and go to bed. I slept and slept and slept. My family was so worried. I really think think that it is a combination of the clomid and just the simple fact of yearning for a baby so bad that someone can feel the way we do/did. At that point of my life, I didn't want or care about anything else. I really feel for you and wish I could do something that could magically change things for you! I will say that you have to try to keep your mind though and try to do nice things for yourself. Whether you sit in the tub for 10 minutes with some candles and nice music, or find an author that you like and read his/her books. I did start a journal for my unborn child that documented all my feelings and experiences that he/she would be able to read someday and know exactly what I went through and how special he/she is to me. You could start to do that...it was very therapeutic(sp?).
I do promise you that in the end...after everything is said and done...every moment of the heartache and pain is worth it when you see that miracle that you created!!!! All this will be a distant memory(not that it will ever be forgotten!!) and you will move onto such bigger and better parts of your life...being a MOMMY!
Sweetie, you know we are always here for you to try and cheer you up and give you a brighter side to look at (even when we feel like there is nothing but darkness!). I love you and am cheering you on everyday!!!! I will always pray for you and send you all the baby dust I have until you are holding your little miracle in your arms...and never give up that dream:angel:
love,
cmarie

Princess, I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I can sypmathise with you, I had a melt down last night with DH. I cried and cried and I'm not even on Clomid! Certain cirmumstances with my friend who's pg and taking very bad care of herself (despite having gest. diabetes with her previous pg) made me so upset the last few days. She actually had the gall to start complaining about her pg, and she KNOWS that I'm having a hard time with IF. DH said to not talk to her anymore. And that may be true with you too, if there are certain things that you know that trigger your depression stay away from them. This is a time to pamper yourself b/c IF is difficult to go thru.

Being on Clomid or any other hormone meds can really wreck havoc on the mental state, so it's very "normal" to feel depressed.

I hope you can be around those who will lift you up and encourage you. This shall pass, but if it concerns you I would talk to your doctor to see if ther are other options.

My Sweetness, I hope you feel better soon. Please know that we all love you here and it won't be very long before your miracle happens to you.

Sorry to hear how rough you've felt Princess, but yes I had very very dark month 2 cycles ago...my first 100mc cycle. I mentioned it in another thread, but I too felt depressed, didn't want to get out of my bed, look after my furbabies, go to work, be responsible for anything or anyone, and I was angry at the world too. It lasted 3 days, with the first day being the worst and the last day being more sad and melancholy.

I also talked over with DH about not continueing with Clomid, but we decided to try it again and I'm happy to say that the following 2 cycles gave me only headaches.


It's around those times that our partners really support us the most, and I think it's an eye opener for them too that it's not just about popping a pill or 2, they really mucking around with our whole being.

I hope you continue to feel better ;)

Oh Princess my good friend, you don't even have to ask!!! Of course I will continue to spend plenty of time over here checking in on you and all of my other friends who are getting ready for their own BFP's! I couldn't leave you sweetie... we've grown too close in the last year or so. I'll be a great supporter, just like Holly and Char and Kelley. I'm also aware that I've still got a ways to go before I'm out of the woods and I don't want to take for granted that I'll be splitting my time between the two boards. I'm still so thankful for getting this far and to tell you the truth I actually feel kinda desperate to keep moving forward without complications. But please, please rest assured that if I do, I'm gonna make sure you make your own move over to the Pg board very soon yourself. Even if it is after a little break if that's what you decide you need.

So how much longer will your mom be in town? I get the impression that these days you and your mom have a very nice relationship... seems like it's good timing for her to be there and keep you company. Sending you lots of love. Hope you have a very nice Wed... I know that you are gonna LOVE being one day closer to Friday!!!!!!

Princess,

Hi, my friend. How are you today? I hope that you are feeling a bit better. I know that I am posting on this thread a bit late, so I won't go on repeating what everyone else has already posted. But all of these feelings are completely normal, and I think we can all relate. We are all here for you, and will always be. We are all going to be celebrating your BFP - and I know that not knowing when is such a hard thing, but it will be soon, I know it. Whether you and DH take a little break, whatever is right for the two of you.

I really do hope that you are feeling better, and I hope that you're having a good time with your mom!

Sending you lots of hugs!,
Kelley

Good Morning Princess,
I am sorry I have been out of touch, I too have been singing the blues. I know you have so much more invested in this than me, I haven't even started my cycle yet and I am sad, worried, negative, you name it. But Eva is right, before you know it we will be up with crying babies. Its hard, the whole thing just sucks that it can just be so easy, cut and dry. But remember there are lots of BFP's going on around here, and you are due my friend so just try and hang in there. Enjoy your time with your mom. Big hugs to you..
Lisa

Hey Princess, I was waiting for you on the May/June thread with some updates.
I hope you are feeling better, you have to get ready to take those hot boots for some walking;) again. That will make you feel better, I promise.

Take care,
Mady

Princess, Mady has brought up an excellent point!!! I just get a huge smile on my face when I think of you having to bust out the sexy pink boots again!!!! Get 'em ready girlie!!!:D

Hee hee hee...the pink boots. I can just picture it. Hope you're doing well today Princess! - April

Oh my gosh, you ladies are amazing!! I SO wish I could reply individually, but my boss is haivng a bad day and seems content to take it out on me. :p So I'm REALLY super busy!! You are so right, I'm going to break out those hot pink boots and use them! Ready boots? Staaaaaaart walkin! :p
I'm feelign SO much better today, back to my regular self. I had a bit of a heated discussion with Dh last night, who last night was insisting that I "think too much and that's whats getting you stressed and that's why you don't have your baby yet!" But this morning, he was asking me all gently when I think I may ovulate, and that he's going to stop drinking and REALLY cut back on the smoking starting today. So even though he was defensive last night, (And I outright told him that sometimes I feel liek I'm doing this on my own) he seems more supportive today. :)
I can't believe how many people wrote! Thank you SO much for taking the time. I actually feel really bad that I cna't take the time to write back individually, so please don't think that I"m glossing over you. It means everything to me that you are all so supportive. Thank you SO much! I lvoe you all!

Princess i wanted to post last night but my internet was down so I was really frustrated. The other girls have given you a lot of answers so I just want to add that what you are feeling is normal, but I am so pleased that you are feeling better and back to your normal self:):). Sorry to hear about you and DH but at least he was better this morning. I hope that this cycle bring you your BFP b/c you deserve it and I will be here to support you every step of the way. :).

I hope you have a wonderful day and your boss does not pester you too much.

Love
Char

Princess - I am happy to hear that DH is being more supportive and turning himself around. It sometimes amazes me all us woman have to do/give up inorder to increase our odds of conception, then from BFP to the birth, in comparison to what the men do/don't do. I guess thats just they way it is, but the least the can do is support us, especially when we are emotional wrecks! I plan on going out Sat and just having a nice time, not think about anything else but having fun. I need it!

Princess so glad you are feeling a bit better today you sound a lot better.Also glad to hear that DH agreed to cut back on the habits.Well like Mady said maybe it is time to bust out the sexy boots.Now weather its to walk in them or kick some people around is up to you :D Well I hope you have a nice evening take care and hope you are feeling even better tomorrow and I hope your boss lays off you tomorrow.

Eva:)

Princess, I am really happy to hear that you are feeling better. And I'm especially glad to hear that DH is being more supportive. I hope that he continues to be so. That's great that he's willing to cut back on any bad habits and to work on being more healthy.

I hope that the rest of the day was okay for you and that your boss was a bit better as the afternoon went on. I'll talk with you tomorrow!!

Love,
Kel

Hi Princess! I'm so glad you were feeling better today. Maybe it actually helped that your boss was keeping you busy today... just to get your mind off things a little bit. I'm so glad to hear that DH is being more understanding and supportive... I was starting to think I may have to come out there and give him a good kick in the tush! :D Have a great nite my friend!

Oh you ladies are so sweet!! I'm feeling pretty great today! Dh and I, we BD'd last night! I wasn't expecting us to BD during the week during this cycle, as he gets home at midnight, but last night, I was up and waiting for him with those boots! :D I did forget to lie down for a half hour afterwards though.... but I went to bed shortly after that, so hopefully some of the swimmers still made it inside of me. I have a TMI question---a lot of DH's semen comes out again after. I've been keeping my hand there to plug it :o. Am I being to paranoid? Will the swimmers still make it in, even if the semen comes out?

Char- Hi Mommy!! :D Oh I can't stand computers, I totally know what you're talking about when you say youwere frustrated. I'm actually really glad to hear that feeling down was normal-- I was worried that I'd be cursing my cycle if I stayed down. Thanks so much for staying hopeful about this cycle! I am actually starting to feel really excited about it!! And I appreciate you sticking around for us to support us. It really, really means so much. You are going to be a stellar mother, Char, you really are. (I didn't mean for that to rhyme)

Lise- It always stuns me how....okay, I was going to be nice about this, but let's call a spade a spade, how little DH's do! I mean, we get poked, prodded, told stories of how everyone else is getting pg and we're supposed to look as excited as if it's our news or esle we'll be offending someone, blood drawn, meds thrown into our bodies.... and DH's, they don't have to go through thtta. Not to say that they don't feel the hurt of IF, I don't mean that at all... but again calling a spade a spade: They don't go through what we go through, so they will never know exactly how it feels. I think your plan for this weekend sounds perfect! Do somethings (note the plural) for yourself, or with DH. And just focus on haivng fun!

Eva-- Hi! I feel a lot better now. I've been eating healthier (although I AM craving for some choclate....) and the weather finally seems to be warming up. I definitely busted out those sexy boots last night, and Dh and I defintely BD'd! :p And guess what, my boss is out of the office for almost the whole afternoon! I'm doing great! How are you???

Kelley-- Hi Mommy! :D Dh is being much more supportive, and even BD'd last night. Bless those boots, I swear, they're going to give me my BFP. :p I'm really proud of him, like today, he not actually had breakfast, but he had a nutitious one of oatmeal with a side of fresh fruit! He's also been in a better mood :) I'm having a great afternoon and I hope you do too! Hope you're doing all right! :D

Kari--Mommy!!! You know, I htink it did help that my boss was running me busy. It really made the time fly Can you believe tomorrow is your u/s?? I"m SO excited!! Hahahah, you're still welcome to give him a kick in the tush! I'd love that! hahaha! Hope you're doing all right, I'm going to swing by your thread next!


OOooh, I forgot to mention--- I had a LOT of Cm yesterday. sort of runny/thick and lotiony. It was a weird mix. But today---nothing yet. Can BD dry up CM? Bearing in mind that yesterday was CD 10, I think that for me that's a bit early for O. But has anyone had that? Lots of CM one day, and them alomst painfully dry the next? Maybe BD evaporated it/ LOL.

Hope everyone is having an amazing day! And if not, hold on, because tomorrow is Friday!!!!

Hi Princess,

Yay for those boots :D!!! And I really do think you're fine, even though it seems like stuff leaks out after BD, my dr always told me that those swimmers still make it up there!

I'm happy to hear that you are doing better :). You're right, it's almost Friday -- make sure you and DH do something extra fun this weekend!!!

:D
Kel

There you are my girl!!! I was wondering when we were gonna hear from you today! What a very exciting post from you! You sound fantastic and I'm thrilled to hear that you and DH got a BD session in last nite! I actually get the impression it was more fun for you and not just about making babies, and that is awesome. Don't worry about the semen... the spermies are doing their own thing. ;) As for the CM, well I think that can only be a good thing even if it is early. It just means that your body is getting ready to O!!! Have yourself a good afternoon... You deserve it my friend!

Princess, you are the best. Waiting with the pink boots at midnight for DH, I can imagine that picture. I am so glad you are back and feeling better, we missed you here.
CM does this funky things sometimes, is probably just estrogen levels. Yours are probably pretty high already from the clomid. During stimulation with the IVF, once my E2 level will get decently high, I would get this EWCM, and I was so scared that OMG, I O-ed all my eggies. But they were all fine and waiting for their turn. RE said actually its good that I got CM ahead of time, we know things are working. About feeling dry next day, dont worry, its nothing bad, your body has been told what to do, and those pills are doing their magic. Will you be doing OPKs?
Babydust,
Mady

Hi Kel!! I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I haven't chatted to you in ages! Are you doing all right? Thanks for the info (and not being grossed out) it really makes me feel better to know that even though stuff comes out, the swimmers are still up there. Dh and I are planning a trip to go to Canada's Wonderland this weekend! It's near Toronto, Ontario. We'll be staying at my aunt's there--- and we might be going house shopping there too! :D We're not sure, but we're thinking of moving into my cousins former house and buying privately. It has a nice backyard, and that's important to me, especially since I'll be getting my BFP soon! :D

Kari, hi!! You are so right on the money. Last night's BD was purely out of fun!! You're so intuitive! I'm so happy today!! It feels really good, and I hope I last on this upswing. ;) I'll make it last. Dh said something to me that really struck a chord (and that's saying something because I'm tone deaf :jester:) he said "Sweetie do somehtign fun for you. Not just when you're down, but everyday. Buy a nail polish, make a breakfast-dinner, just do something for you everyday." And thanks for the reassurance about the semen! :D And the Cm---you're right, my body is getting ready for O, and there's a fresh batch of spermies in there! :D

LOL Mady-- I swear I was on fire last night! HAHAAHA. I'm so glad that I didn't O tey-- I mean, I want to O nice juicy eggs, not undeveloped ones. Your stroy helped a lot! It's a sign that the pill is working and that's GREAT! I'm so excited, I know our turn is coming!! I'm not sure if I'll be doing OPKs... I seem to suck slightly at them lol. Remedial OPK 101 for me!! But I am checking CM--liek the actual check checking, not just pantie patrol. How are you??
I hope everyone is having an amazing day! Everyone think of strawberry lemonade and pink elephants!! :D

Hey there Princess you are to funny girl.I was laughing at your post.Well looks like you got a good start last night by bding with DH and your boss being out of the office all afternoon what more can a girl ask for right?I am doing fine thanks for asking just getting more nervous as beta day approaches me.So thankful I found you ladies though you cant imagine how much you have all helped me.:)Well hope your afternoon is just as great as your day has been.

Eva :)

Princess.......Happy Friday:D:D.

I would never leave you here on the board I a waiting for you to graduate to the pg board:D:D. You have been a big supporter of me so now i a here to do the same for you:D:D. The friends I have made here are wonderful and I will never forget you.

I know I am coming late but waiting up for DH with your pink boots on that is so funny:jester::jester:. At least you got what you wanted........:D.

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, I hate it when my IF buddies are feeling so down. I hope you and DH get to BD alot this weekend :D

I hope you have a woderful weekend, I will not beable to log on till tomorrow.

Love
CHar

Hi Princess!

It's Friday & the sun is shining!! :D:D:D I hope you have another great day today like you did yesterday. Enjoy your weekend my friend, especially the BD'ing! ;) Always thinking of you...

Holly

Good morning ladies!! Happy Friday!!! :bouncing: :bouncing: Finally! I thought this week woudl never end! I still have a meeting with my scary boss (I have two) and if I live through that, I'm going to be golden.

***REMOVED****

Evaaaaaaaaaa!! How are you today? I know exactly what you mean. I don't know where I'd be without this board. Actually, I know where I'd be...back to crying in the corner and going to a psychotic gyne who has red eyes and fangs. But we're here now, and we're going to get that BFP!!

Char-- It has been an honour to support you! And it's so inspiring to have a PCOS sister get her BFP! I mean, it's inspiring when anyone here gets their BFP, but it's really inspriing to have a fellow soul cyster get her BFP. Here's hoping I can join you on the PG board soon!

Holly-- Hiiii! You're right!! I totally forgot, now that it's weekend, we can BD! Is BD okay two days in a row? Or is the seocnd BD session redundant because we got all the good spermies in the first shot? Anyway sweetie, I hope youre having an AMAZING day! Happy Friday!

A Happy Friday and a relaxing, fun weekend for us all!! :D

Hey Princess!

Happy Friday right back at you!!! I hope that your meetings with your boss go well, and that today flies by so you can start enjoying the weekend!!!!


I hope your afternoon is going well!!

Kelley

Of course, I'm REALLY tired....but for a good reason. This morning, at about 5 am, DH comes up to me, and has a cup of tea made for me and wakes me up. Me, the ever panicky one wanted to know who's sick or hurt. But he smiled and said, "The sun's coming up and the birds are singing. I made you a cup of tea. Do you want to come sit on the balcony with me and watch the sun rise?" I swear I don't know where this romantic side of DH came from, but I'll take it! And hey, it makes BDing so much better...:D Kel, thanks so much, I have less than an hour, and I'm going home!! Free until Monday! :D I hope you have a lovely weekend too and take care of those little ones and say hi to Dh for me!!

Well here's a turn in my moods. My boss hinted that he really doesn't want me around anymore---so I htink I may be getting fired. I'd find out MOnday. If so, any and all IF treatments will be off the table until I find another job. I don't knwo if I will be allowed here, but since I'll still be feelign the pains of IF---I hope so. :( Well, what a great start to the weekend, he says that I've made too mistakes and not worth being here, but he'll let me know Monday. I think we all knwo where this is going. And yet again, I have to say good bye to the hope of my baby. :( I'm never going to be a mother.

Princess, hang in there. He may have said those things in the heat of the moment. Sometimes we say things, but after looking back on our words, we didn't mean them as harshly as they came out. I hope that's the case here. Either way, you make sure you BD as much as possible this weekend because you're still got a great chance at your current cycle. I'll be thinking of you! - April

Oh Princess,

What a horrible way for your boss to tell you something like that right before the weekend & then tell you he will make his decision next week! How are you supposed to put it out of your mind?? April is right though, sometimes we don't mean things the way they come out & I too hope that is the case w/ your boss. Try to enjoy yourself this weekend & don't think for a second that you will not be a mother. You do still have a very good shot this cycle!! Even if things don't happen this cycle, your turn will come. I know it.

Sending you hugs.

Holly

Oh Princess, that doesnt sound right at all. He is probably just messing with you, cuz this is just cruel, to let someone go in weekend so tormented. Its not right. I am so sorry you are going through this, I hope all this is just a crazy joke or something but it sure isnt funny. Or maybe he is just trying to make you argue with him and leave, so he wouldnt have to hassle with the firing process.
I wish you all the luck in the world and you will be a mommy, I just feel it. Love,
Mady

Oh Princess I just dont know what to say this morning you were so happy and cheerful and now this happens.I mean why couldent your boss just tell you all this on Monday.Well I will pray your boss deceides to give you another shot.Maybe if he knew what you were going through then he would understand why you have made a few mistakes.I wish I were there to give you a great big hug sweetie.Well sweetie hang in there and try and have a nice weekend.I will be thinking about you.Sending you big cyber hugs.

PS Dont ever say you will never be a mom you will sweetie and the best one.

Eva:)

Princess,

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you had such an afternoon. I am really not liking your boss one bit at the moment. And really, why would he talk to you like that and then tell you to wait until Monday? I really am just hoping that your boss was just having a bad week/day and didn't mean for it to come out so harshly. Please try to do something fun this weekend to take your mind off of everything, and to enjoy it with DH.

I know you probably don't want to hear 'hang in there', but I really can feel how hurt you are from your post. You WILL be a mother, you WILL. It really is not fair that we don't know when, and that it can't always be timed like it seems it can be for others. But, you are going to be the most amazing mother, and we are all going to be here to celebrate every moment. Try to keep your chin up - no one knows why we have to go through all of these ups and downs -- but the ups are right around the corner.

We love you!
Kel

Princess, just wanted to let you know you are not crazy. This IF stuff is hard in every aspect, hormonal, emotional, financial. Take time for youself and just know we are here for you. I agree with all the advice given. And I think little breaks to find yourself sometimes are needed. Kick up your heels, which for IF girls is drinking coffee or wine! Take care of you and vent to us as much as possible.

P.S. I don't like your boss either. Try not to worry over the weekend. It might not be as bad as you think or maybe it is fate's way of telling you, you are too good for this boss!

You ladies are so sweet! I had a good long talk withDH, who is being really really supportive about all of this. He said that he's noticed me being really stressed out lately. And he said that maybe, just maybe, that's why my other cycles didn't work out. And he said that if I do lose my job, then we're okay, and we can keep trying Clomid for another few cycles; provided that's ok with gyne, of course. And that if I do go, maybe I can start school part time again, somehting I"ve been wanting to do for a long time.
I AM hoping I get another chance though, because we have a lot going right now and I dont want to worry. But again, maybe I AM too good for my boss LOL!
Well it's CD 12 and CM is slwoly coming back.... hopefully that means I will O sometime soon :D
I love you, my sisters, so much. We will all get there, and my sister who are already there, you are truly an inspiration. I can't get over how much love is here. :angel:

Oh Princess what a horrible thing for you boss to do, lucky for him I live in another country I really dont like people messing with my family (and you are all my sisters), I would certainly give him what for. I am so in the mood to let rip at someone right now, all I need is a target. I hope this doesnt ruin your weekend. Its not like we dont have enough on our plates without having to deal with insensitive idiots. Hope everything works out for you.

Cashahn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

just caught up with all your news Princess. In Oz we'd call your boss a galah....or a few other things that I can't type on this forum:D

Anyway, as everyone else has said, try and keep your chin up, and enjoy the positives going on...like your recent BDing, the pink boots:D, DH being romantic and understanding and hopefully Oing soon.

Do you chart your temp? Like you I'm on 100 of clomid, 3rd month now. I've only started this month, and that along with OPK, we had a really good idea as to when I Od so our BDing was less random than other months. I do it online and it's great cos it even tells you best day to test so you don't waste tests, and stress as much. It tells you how high your chance of conception is based on which days you've BD and all the fertility signs you've inputed, and even a predicted due date.

Just a thought. Hope the rest of your weekend improves. ;)

Princess I am so glad DH was so supportive and let you know all will be just fine.I am such a strong believer that everything happens for a reason.Hang in there and hope you and DH are getting some bding so you can get the BFP real soon.Take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend sweetie.

Eva :)

Princess, I'm so glad to hear you had a great talk with DH...it sure does sound like he was being incredibly supportive! I'm really just crossing my fingers that this turns out to be a good week for you despite the unknown. How did things go this weekend? I know O is definitely upon you now... you'll have to let us know if you got any of the O signs this weekend and if you and DH got a chance to BD. Hope all is good sweetie!

Princess
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this added problem. I really hope that your boss will change his mind and won t send you away....one things s sure he ll be the loser. even if so i am sure it means that there s something better for you...maybe another job or studying.
However don t say you won t be a mommy....you will and an amazing one to.

Sending you big hugs and lots of kisses from my little man.

Amy

Princess -- sweetie, I'm so sorry that I've been away from the boards these past few days and could not be here for you ... (((HUGS))) I am so sorry to see my dear friend who always makes me laugh was down and going through some bad times and i was not here... sorry sorry sorry my dear...

You know what, you are INDEED too good for your boss! -- and you deserve better than to be treated that way... I am so glad that you had a good chat with DH and he's really being so lovely... pls do not get disheartened, ok?... remember that everything always works out for the best.... pls take care of yourself :angel:

Good morning ladies!! I am SO exhausted! Dh had one of his work friends over, and while this friend is a very nice man (even called us when he got home to thank us for the nice night) he definitely stayed until 1am!!! :eek: I can't seem to stay up late and wake up early anymore, LOL.
I'm not sure if I O'ed this weekend....I think I may have, though on Sunday. I had cramping, although my CM was really watery not EWCM at all, or even lotiony. :confused: SO I don't know if that was just a different O than usual, or if it's still O preparation. But we still BD'd that day, just in case. Oh! And Sunday would have been my CD14. It's a little earlier than I would expect O, so that's why I'm not sure if I O'ed or not yet. Airline, if this cycle doesn't work out, I'm going to try my hand at OPK next cycle.

Well, so far, my boss isn't in, which I guess is a good sign. If I was a boss, I'd fire someone early in the morning so I wouldn't have to pay them for the day. Hopefully my boss thinks along the same lines. DH and I talked again about it Sunday (tried as hard as I could to forget about it over the weekend, but it kept coming up) and he assured me again, that we wouldn't stop cycling. As he said "If you lose this job, you'll get another one. We won't put our dreams on hold unless we absolutely have to." :) :cool: And, today, I"m enrolling in a long distance course from a college, so I can work on completeing my diploma. :angel: If I do well, I can get my diploma in six months! :)

I'd still cycle, but I'd be working and studying at the same time. At first I was worried abotu stress, but then Dh said that maybe this would be what I need to get my mind off of IF, especially during 2ww. And it'll help me get a better job. :)

I"m really excited about these new changes! And, thinking about it, I do think I O'ed yesterday, and we BD'd yesterday, so hopefully that worked!

I don't know if this sounds nuts to anyone, but my sister has a friend (that part isn't so nuts LOL ;)) and she has dreams that often come true. She knew when my sister was going to get a promotion, when her father was going to get a new job, and when my aunt was going to be proposed to. Well, apparently, last week, she called my sister and asked if I was pg. My sister, knwoing both how intuitive this friend is, and my IF problems (she never told this friend my IF probs) asked why, what did you see? And she said that she saw me pregnant, heavily pregnant and talking about how well my baby is doing and the "big day" getting closer and closer. And she said I was pregnant with a baby girl. So, hopefuly..... :angel:

Anyway, I should get down to doing some serious work. Maybe I can redeem myself a bit. If I'm not on, that's why! Thank you all SO much for your support! (Hazel, don't worry, dearest, I completely understand! Your words are welcome anytime, dear) I don't knwo what I'd do without you, I'd probably be fit for a straightjacket! :p Have a wonderful Monday, everyone!

Good morning, Princess,

I'm glad that you and DH were able to talk over the weekend, and I'm especially glad that he's on board and that you have a plan! You seem to be feeling a lot better today.

As for your sister's friend, I definitley think that it's possible that people have 'feeling's' about things that are going to happen soon. One of DH's friend has an uncanny ability to predict things as well. So, I am really hoping that she is on to something!!!!!

I really hope all is well when your boss comes in. I am thinking of you today!

Love,
Kel

Hi Kelley!! :) How are you MommyMommy? :D

I'm glad you don't think it's totally loopy that she had that dream and I"m choosing to see it as a bit of encouragement :) I'm doing a lot better today, adn staying strong. We can only keep growing, right?

I'm having second thoughts on whether I O'ed yesterday. I just....TMI alret....did a panties check, and I'm getting my more to usual O CM (lotiony with a bit of watery) and this is closer to O time, at CD 15. So maybe I"m not quite 2ww yet. ;)

Thanks so much for posting! Have a great day!

Princess I am so glad DH is being so great about all this.I really hope your boss deceides not to fire such a wonderful person.As for sisters friend let me tell you a story.I saw my cousin in March and she turned and said to me you will be pregnant in May she knew nothing about my cycle.I said you are crazy she said ok I told 2 ladies at work they will get pregnant on so and so month and they did.So she called me last week to ask me I said no I'm not you crazy girl.She said you are I am 500% positive now go out and buy baby things.I again told her she was nuts well looks like she was right which reminds me I need to call her after she gets off work.So my friend stay strong your time is coming.

Eva :)

Wow, Eva!! :eek: :D :eek: What an amazing story! Wow. I think that I'm honestly speechless. (Typeless? Wordless. We'll go with wordless.) Yes, you will certainly have to give your friend a call today, I think she will be really excited for you! I'm stayingnice and strong, and hopefully this week is easier than the last couple of weeks have been. Hoping that you are doing really well!!

Hi Princess, I hope all is good so far with you and boss. Im glad DH is so suportive and good for you for enrolling in school. So all this truble was actually for the better, but I hope you still get to keep this job.
Good luck with the BDing and keep those boots on for at least another week ;) Hey, have you tried yet the benadryl during implantation window? Its supposed to make you sleepy and your body will relax. But you need a weekend for that.
Take care and good luck,
Mady

Hi Mady!! So far everything is quiet with the boss and I. He asked if I did something for him, and I told him I had it finished and on his desk at the end of the day friday. He seemed pleased. I'm actually going to try and work really hard. This job is what's paying for my cycles to keep going, so I should at least try, right? And I can go to school in the evenings....oh this is going to be fun!! Maybe this excitement and happiness that I feel about starting school again will help towards my BFP! Now, Mady, you menitoned somehting abotu Benadryl. What's that about? During implantation? Is it so that you feel calm and relaxed and not stressed? I'm still working those boots :D I'm going to give Dh a brea tonight, but tomorrow night----I'm going to be waiting up for him with those boots baby! :D Hope you're haivng an amaizng day, sweetie!

Good job Princess, maybe you'll get a raise instead, if he feels guilty for how he treated you.
About the Benadryl, its the one with antihistamines, makes you drowsy, but there was a lady here, posted one time and she swore about the miracle it makes. Its making your body relax or something, its like you know when you have an allergy and your body enters a crisis state, benadryl is supposed to fight that off. Plus the added benefit of making you sleepy, i.e. keeping you from bouncing things too much. She said something about the white cells increase or something like that.
She said take 3 /day starting day 4 post O and take till day 7. makes you sleepy though.
Good luck,
Mady

Oooh, a raise would be awesome! :D Well its official! I'm enrolled and going back to school as well as working! :D I'm so excited!
I wil definitely use the Benadryl. Now that you mention it, I htink I remember that post now. It's worth trying! Did you try it this cycle? I hope you're haivng an amazing day, sweetie!! Will you HPT Wednesday? I'm crossing my fingers for you!!

Hey there Princess I am glad things seem to be going ok with your boss.Hopefully he felt bad for what he said to you on Friday.So you are enrolled in school wow that is great I think it will help keep you busy as you are getting an education.Good for you.BTW I also heard something about the benadryl its worth a shot.Good luck.

Eva

Good job Princess, will it be online classes, or you have to go in?
I took only a couple. I was pretty sleepy already, and since retrieval they put me on a tons of meds for 4 days, didnt feel that another one would make much difference. I'll try HPT-ing, very affraid though.
Mady

Eva-- Hi sweetie! I kind of hope that my boss does feel bad abotu Friday. he came down waaaay too hard. I know he is having busniess problems, but that is not my fault, and I do not need the extra stress, particularly around this time of my cycle. I'm really excited to get back into school and finish up. Thanks so much for the luck! I'll need it!

Mady-- Hi darling! You know, when I wrote 'darling' just now, I almost wrote "mommy'. I think it may be a sign! :) It will be online classes, but exams I will have to go to the school. I'm really excited! I'm crossing my fingers for you when you do the hpt. I just know that you are pg right now, darling! When is your beta with your re?

Oh Princess, this is all good news!!!! I'm thrilled to hear you are committed to going back to school and getting that diploma! I totally agree with your DH that despite a bit of added stress, it could be a perfect distraction from the daily struggle with IF! And your boss must surely be feeling guilty for his words he spoke to you on Friday... I too will cross my fingers that maybe you'll actually get a raise out of this! :D Your cycle is going just beautifully... you're getting the BD in at the right times, and we know that you are very close to O, if it didn't happen yesterday. Even just one more BD session and you'll likely be covered for the month for sure!!! I'm so happy for you my friend. It seems like things are working out and falling in place... I hope a sticky BFP will be part of a very happy June for you!!!!

Good morning Kari!! :D How are you, MommyMommyMommy? :D:D:D :D :D (one for each! And one for you and DH too!) How's DaddyDaddyDaddy? Get used to hearing it, just wait until your little ones can talk, LOL!!
I'm so excited! I know I will have to be serious about school, and it will definitely be added stress, but I could use something other than work to occupy me. I made a colour-coded schedule of my week last night and found that I have a lot of spare time that is usually filled by IF obsessing. (And also, by making that schedule, I got to assign study time! :)) My mother is fretting that I will make myself more stressed and further hinder a BFP; but look at Lizzie, right? She did it, and I'm pretty sure her courses were more gruelling than mine. And Holly! She was (is?) taking night classes, and look at her now! So, I figure this can't hurt, it'll help. And I can't wait! :D
I hope your day is going really really well! Remember (as if you'd forget! :p) to take it easy and let DH help out as much as possible! Love you ma belle!!

Princess dont worry about what everyone else is saying if you want to go to school then go.I am sure you know how much you can handle.Like today my mom called and she kept saying dont do this dont do that etc etc.I said please you are not going to drive me nuts I know what I can and cant do and since I feel fine there is no reason why I need to lay in bed all day.So my point is dont let others stress you out just do as you please I am sure you can handle it.Have a wonderful day.

Eva:)

Exactly Eva! You cant sta in bed and "not get stressed" all day. if anyhting, that would TOTALLY stress me out, because all I'd think of is IF. That's why we need to distract ourselves, especially in the 2ww! My books and materials shoudl arrive sometime next week, in the heat of my 2ww, so that'll be a thankful distraction!! :D Thanks so much for you support, Eva!! You're going to make an excellent Mommy really soon! And to twins or trips! :D Have a great day!

:D:D:D Princess, I just love the way you think... that really made me smile thinking about all the kiddos yelling mommy and daddy!!! It's gonna be hilarious how loud our house will be when they start talking :D As for your mom fretting about you going back to school, well she's just being a mom and looking out for you - no mom wants to see her child stressed out. But you bring up a very good point... Lizzie did it, and her pregnancy is moving along very healthy!!! I know you can do it. And I know you are gonna get your BFP too! Speaking of which... sounds like you are definitely in the 2WW now???

:) Princess,

Hey there! How's your afternoon going? I'm so excited for you now -- with school! And I'm so happy to hear how excited you are as well! I agree that it will be great for you!!!! I can't believe all your books and materials will be arriving so quickly!

I hope that you're having a wonderful afternoon!!!

Love,
Kel

Hahaha, Kari, your house is going to be gloriously full with all those little ones!! :D That's going to be heaven! You're right, Mom is being such a mom, lol. I'm definitely in my 2ww, but thining of haivng just one more BD session---is that nuts? Anyway, yup definitely in the 2ww. So far, it's easy, but you know-- only one day in, right? LOL. We'll see how it continues!

Kelley-- I'm so excited for all of my things to arrive! It's going to all be coming during my 2ww, so that'll keep my mind off of searching for signs, as much as I am still hoping for them. How are you?

I hope everyone is having a great day!!!!

How exciting Princess all your material coming next week.Like a kid on the first day of school excited.......lol.I am really excited for you I think school will be a good distraction.Thank you Princess I think you will make a great mommy real soon as well.Have a great afternoon.

Eva :)

Princess, going back to school is going to be a great way for your to direct your mind away from this IF stuff! It will be very exciting for all your new books to show up. Maybe you can even do some back to school shopping! When will you actually start classes? Good luck dear! - April

Princess, definitely not crazy that you want to get in one more BD session... I totally understand!!! Hope you and DH are having your fun as I type this! :D. And please have some fun for me... If we see three heartbeats on Mon I can pretty much guarantee you there will be no more fun like that in my life for the rest of 2008!!!:jester: Okay, so seriously I'm excited for you and so happy you are already in another 2WW! This one just has to bring you BFP! Luv ya! Kari

Hi Princess!

Wow, going back to school? How exciting!! It will definitely be a nice distraction to IF & if it leads to a better job, then all the hard work will certainly pay off! :D I'm taking summer classes myself (since I'm doing a 4 year degree & only going part time around my full time work schedule, I go all year round) & my semester just started last week. I want to get as many credits in as I can before the baby comes. I'm almost halfway done! I'm so proud of you for taking the initiative to go back to school! It's not easy, but it is totally worth it & I'm sure you will enjoy most of it.

Good luck in your 2ww!! I hope this cycle is the one for you.

Holly :)

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Good luck!!
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