jeffo2448
05-31-2008, 07:33 PM
Hello, I'm 21 years old. I have an older brother who recently graduated college and is moved out and I have a brother who is a year younger than me. I go to college as well, but I live home in the summer with parents. Same with younger brother. Anyway, I've noticed my father becoming "progressively strange" for the past five years or so. He's still married to my mother, he's 50 years old, but it seems like his social life has vanished. We have a new house roughly ten minutes away from where we used to live (where I grew up) so we haven't moved far. Moving on, I've noticed my father talks to himself a lot, and I mean ALOT. He'll usually always be talking about negative situations, mainly things that have occurred in the past... things that have happened up to ten years ago and he still will talk about these events like they bother him today. For example, he'll ramble on about how my step uncle "busted his balls" at the dinner table. This was merely poking fun, a joke. My dad seems to take everything as an insult and bottle up his emotions. He'll ponder over and over and bicker and argue to himself about these types of things. He'll downtalk my family if they've "insulted" or even made comments about him. He also had a rough past while he was at his old job. This was a major problem in my father's life. He always accused his co workers of undermining him, insulting him, whatever it may be.
In October of this past year, he "kicked" out my mom for accusing of her cheating. He randomly brought up things that "may" have happened in college. He also accused her of cheating with a guy up the street, a neighbor whom I'm never seen. My mother told my whole family, who tried to get him psychiatric help. He refused, believed nothing was wrong with him. Since then, my mother is back, but he still talks to himself. He has a coffee (1/2 decaf) and cigarette addiction. He'll constantly drink coffee and smoke cigs throughout the day. When he's alone, especially in his bedroom, he'll talk to himself about these events that have happened in the past. He thinks everyone is against him, everyone makes fun of him, everyone is doing bad. He seems to alter conversations into insults. It's strange! But more important, he let my friend (21 years old, recently had a kid) move in with us. Just a week ago he was praising my friend, saying he could stay as long as he needed to get settled back in life. Take in mind my friend is very responsible, attending college, has a job, and would do ANYTHING to help my family to show appreciation for his stay. Well, RANDOMLY, out of the blue, my father calls up after my friend has been here a month (we predicted he would be here at least the whole summer). And his call was to inform my friend that he has TWO days, just TWO days to pack up and leave. The reason? I couldn't get a reason out of my father. I argued, begged for a reason why. The conclusion came to.... my friend was making wise comments about his "work schedule". The same morning my friend got kicked out he jokingly said to my father, "oh you're running late, now huh". My father took the comment personally, didn't inform my friend, but called my house phone three hours later and randomly told us "Matt needs to get out of the house". This was because my father assumed my friend was insulting him about his work and his hours.... my friend DID NOT do this, he would have casual conversations with him while smoking cigarettes and whatnot and maybe brought up work. This was friendly conversation... but more importantly, in a nut shell, my dad won't confront people, he will dwell in the past, he's lost all social contact except my family, and he talks to himself when he's alone about negative events and he'll randomly act weird... like kicking my friend out for no legit reason and accusing my mom of cheating when she wasn't. What is the deal!?
In October of this past year, he "kicked" out my mom for accusing of her cheating. He randomly brought up things that "may" have happened in college. He also accused her of cheating with a guy up the street, a neighbor whom I'm never seen. My mother told my whole family, who tried to get him psychiatric help. He refused, believed nothing was wrong with him. Since then, my mother is back, but he still talks to himself. He has a coffee (1/2 decaf) and cigarette addiction. He'll constantly drink coffee and smoke cigs throughout the day. When he's alone, especially in his bedroom, he'll talk to himself about these events that have happened in the past. He thinks everyone is against him, everyone makes fun of him, everyone is doing bad. He seems to alter conversations into insults. It's strange! But more important, he let my friend (21 years old, recently had a kid) move in with us. Just a week ago he was praising my friend, saying he could stay as long as he needed to get settled back in life. Take in mind my friend is very responsible, attending college, has a job, and would do ANYTHING to help my family to show appreciation for his stay. Well, RANDOMLY, out of the blue, my father calls up after my friend has been here a month (we predicted he would be here at least the whole summer). And his call was to inform my friend that he has TWO days, just TWO days to pack up and leave. The reason? I couldn't get a reason out of my father. I argued, begged for a reason why. The conclusion came to.... my friend was making wise comments about his "work schedule". The same morning my friend got kicked out he jokingly said to my father, "oh you're running late, now huh". My father took the comment personally, didn't inform my friend, but called my house phone three hours later and randomly told us "Matt needs to get out of the house". This was because my father assumed my friend was insulting him about his work and his hours.... my friend DID NOT do this, he would have casual conversations with him while smoking cigarettes and whatnot and maybe brought up work. This was friendly conversation... but more importantly, in a nut shell, my dad won't confront people, he will dwell in the past, he's lost all social contact except my family, and he talks to himself when he's alone about negative events and he'll randomly act weird... like kicking my friend out for no legit reason and accusing my mom of cheating when she wasn't. What is the deal!?
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trg247
06-01-2008, 12:42 PM
He really needs to be checked out by a professional. It could be a number of different things such as a psychotic break but due to his age early onset dementia and Alzheimer's needs to be looked at.
take care
trg247
take care
trg247
george808
06-29-2008, 10:22 AM
I think you need to ring your local hospital and ask for advice on how to deal with this.
They have teams that are trained to handle this sort of stuff.
They helped me alot.
They have teams that are trained to handle this sort of stuff.
They helped me alot.
tasanar
10-17-2008, 08:31 PM
My mother does the exact same things as your father. She also has the same addiction to cigarettes and coffee. Have you learned anything about your father's condition? My mother will not seek treatment and we cannot force her to get help in the state where we live.
stuckinthepast
10-18-2008, 02:21 AM
I feel for you and your family. Your father may have been a lot like myself bottled things up in his life and now he is trying to get it out now. I am not totally sure, but he does need to get help. He may need a complete physical would he at least go do that? Make him an appointment and just take him. If he has a complete meltdown at the doctors office they could call 911 and have him be taken to a mental health hospital. I know that is extreme, but he could get help that way. Talk with his doctor if you can. I wish you and your family the best. I hope this helps in some way.
P.S. I have thought my husband was cheating on me and that wasn't the case at all. I can't believe I thought that I think it's just being negative and low self-esteem I have. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major depression and also Bi-polar.
P.S. I have thought my husband was cheating on me and that wasn't the case at all. I can't believe I thought that I think it's just being negative and low self-esteem I have. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major depression and also Bi-polar.
AuntieLeela
10-18-2008, 10:40 AM
Might be Pick's Disease. Alzheimer's shrinks the whole brain, memory loss often the first symptom. In Pick's it's the front temporal lobes (the forehead area) and personality changes, depression, paranoia and compulsive behavior are the first symptoms. The average age of onset is 54.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000744.htm
If you suspect this may be the case, call your local hospital and ask if there is a Pick's or Alzheimer's support group available. (for you and your family)
They may be helpful in getting your dad the medical care he needs, whatever his diagnosis.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000744.htm
If you suspect this may be the case, call your local hospital and ask if there is a Pick's or Alzheimer's support group available. (for you and your family)
They may be helpful in getting your dad the medical care he needs, whatever his diagnosis.

