I had heard that one can sue the infector if the infector knowingly infected you? Is this true? Does anyone know any of the legalities about this?

I would like to sue my x-boyfriend for personal injury for knowingly infecting me with herpes and genital warts (genital warts, while harmless, increase a woman’s risk for cervical cancer and make having children complicated). But before I contact my personal injury lawyer, making my STDS known to him and his firm, I want to know if anyone has any knowledge about any of this. Anything you know would be helpful.

My X flat out lied to me when I asked. I asked prior to being sexually involved with him. 2 months later I caught genital warts (HPV) and 5 months later I caught HSV-2.

After we had broken up, I found out from a credible source that has had HSV for about 7 years. He is still lying about. I told him to send a copy of his medical records to me. He said "Okay." Nothing ever arrived. He still maintains he didn’t know he had this. The credible source claims he told him he had it years ago. If he was treated years ago and given medication than this is in his medical record which the lawyer would obtain, right?

No law guru here but I'd suspect that as long as he did not sign a contract and you did not actually view test that said he was clear you placed yourself at a risk. I contracted hsv from someone who did not tell me and still would not confirm after fact; although, I was ****ing mad, I also never requested my partner to show me test negatives. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif Awful mistake

What do you hope to get out of it? What can you afford to put in to it? Is the party involved independantly wealthy? Yes, a well known comedian was sued 15-20 years ago for knowing transmitting herpes to a sexual partner. Yes, his insurance company coughed up big bucks to the infected partner. Before the ink on the settlement papers was dry every insurance company in the USA had deleted coverage for STDS of any kind under their policies. What this means to you in practical terms is that since there will be no deep pocket insurance company to foot the bill, no attorney will take the case "on contingancy". If you have $150-300/hour to pay someone for the emotional gratification of eventually 5-10 years from now being told you are right, then by all means, go ahead and sue. Unless the scum involved has considerable personal assests and not enough smarts to hide them, then you will never get a dime.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

In this country, we can sue anybody for anything. First, you have to ask what you want to get out of this. Second, you have to ask how much you want to put into it. By going to court, you will be making a public announcement of your being infected.

To get a judgement, you may have to show more than that he knew he had it. Showing that you asked him and he knowingly lied would be a major goal of yours. He can deny you ever asked him about it. Failure to get a doctors report is not proof. While it appears you can prove he knew he had it - and this may be sufficient - the defense will most likely attack your sexual history and try to show that you were aware of the risks and knowingly accepted them. I mean, can you prove that he DIDN'T tell you and you DIDN't agree to have unprotected sex with him knowing he was infected, and can you deny that you are aware that couples should not have unprotected sex until after they have been tested?

If I were on the jury, I might vote in your favor, but I might also be swayed by a defense arguement that since you didn't insist on seeing the results of a full STD screeen prior to engaging in unprotected sex, and that since you knew having unprotected sex was a risky thing, that you willing engaged in unprotected sex with someone of unknown background and, therefore, willfully exposed yourself.

While I wish cases such as yours were more widespread as it might slow down the spread of the infection, you will face a difficult battle. And, another thing, in a unique case such as yours, the local press might pick up on it and publish it and put you on TV. Can you handle that? It would make you a hero to the herpes crowd....

While I personally think you should win a judgement to have him pay for your medical expenses and treatment, the fact remains that you still had unprotected sex with him without seeing any test results. Perhaps taking him to small claims court and suing him for your doctor bills and prescriptions would be sufficient. Unless he has some big bucks, I doubt a lawyer would take this on a contingency basis, and to get a lawyer, you would be spending many thousands of dollars on a very uncertain outcome.

The case would be thrown out.

I disagree that you wouldn't have a case. As the plaintiff, you could base your case on the premise of standard duty of due care. In other words, precedence has been set that requires all citizens of the United States to conduct themselves is such a way as to not produce harm to one another. When a person has knowingly been negligent with this, they have breached this duty. Causation may be an issue; could you GUARANTEE that your infection was caused by your boyfriend? Also, could you prove that your boyfriend knew he was infected and withheld this information from you. prior to sexual intercourse?

I totally understand your anger and your frustration. It isn't fair and this guy is obviously a complete ***hole. If you want to sue him, go for it and best of luck, but the earlier responses might be right in saying that you wouldn't win.

Here's my take on the situation: You both screwed up. Not only is life unfair in that you CAN be lied to, but herpes is unfair because you can take EVERY precaution imaginable and still get it (trust me, I know). The only way you can totally avoid getting herpes is abstain from all physical contact, and that it completely ridiculous and against human nature.

HOWEVER, you have been dealt this hand, and I really think it helped me to rise above the blame game. If it wasn't this guy, it could have been the next. He could have been asymptommatic and you still could have got it. Life deals some tough blows, and rather than battle them, it helps to accept them and learn from them.

The guy who gave it to you has a weak character and is selfish. Let that be his punishment. In the meantime, channel your anger into making yourself well. If an important part of your self-fulfillment is making a difference for people with herpes, by all means, do it. But I would suggest not making it about hurting him. He's not worth it.

If you had a case than so would everyone infected with HIV. Good luck and next time use condoms.

hey Pattiann,
Yes maybe if they had a sue policy then maybe people wouldn't carelessly spread diseases like Herpes and HIV. Some people feel they could do anything and get away with anything without any remorse or compassion and that is wrong. If you knowingly spread diseases you deserve to be prosecueted because you ruined someone's quality of life. That is something to be responsible for, and a good way to bring individual to justice is to fine them or jail them.

There is a big diference between spreading it and not knowing it and spreading it knowingly, and that is the only thing I'm sure that this post starter is trying to prove.

Don't blame him...blame yourself!!! This man did not commit to you legally, therefore, he is not responsible for the mistake YOU made by having sex with him. Though it is wrong for someone to knowingly infect another person, it is not their duty to be concerned with your health...YOU ARE!! Learn from your mistakes and move on!!!

I, too, have herpes and I blame myself for being irresponsible...you need to do the same!

sh26,

some people are responsible by putting a rubber on and still get herpes so that has nothing to do with it/
it becomes a moral issue when someone does something like spread diseases without concern. Since I'm a strong believer in what goes around comes around, I know these people will pay in some way, some day.

SH, by federal law, you are absolutely incorrect. As stated in my earlier post, all citizens of the United States are obligated under the standard duty of due care to conduct ourselves is such a way as to not produce harm to one another. Any first year U.S. Law book will explain due care very clearly (mine does).

This means that if one knowingly exposes someone else to harm without THEM knowing as well, one has violated their standard duty of due care, which is a tort offense (something you can't go to jail for but a court can provide a remedy). Also, as stated, the difficulty in this sitation is proving it.

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 06-14-2003).]

Hopeful, I also got herpes from using a condom. That's not my point. We all know things are out there, so you have to be smart. If you know you can get things from even protected sex why jeopardize your health. If you don't know that these things are out there and can be spread so easily, then you aren't mature enough to be having sex in the first place. If this man was married to her I could understand her anger, but you can't trust anyone this day and age!!

[This message has been edited by SH26 (edited 06-14-2003).]

[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 06-14-2003).]

Originally posted by SH26:
Hopeful, I also got herpes from using a condom. That's not my point. We all know things are out there, so you have to be smart. If you know you can get things from even protected sex why jeopardize your health. If you don't know that these things are out there and can be spread so easily, then you aren't mature enough to be having sex in the first place. If this man was married to her I could understand her anger, but you can't trust anyone this day and age!!

[This message has been edited by SH26 (edited 06-14-2003).]

What is your point? What? should we stop having sex altogether. What, can a person not be upset if someone gives them diseases? knowingly? That is ludicrious! is that what you are trying to say?
what nex, we will shoot people in the head and blame them for not ducking.

That's not what I said, but if you know it's out there and you screw up and get something...that's your problem. You can choose to have sex if you want, but you need to deal with the consequences!! Yeah, by all means, be upset, be angry, but in the end it is your fault. It's not my job to take care of someone else, just like they aren't there to take care of me. If I'm doing things that can be harmful, then that's my problem. Face the facts...only you are responsible for you. You can't depend on anyone else to do your job, so if that means not taking chances in life (sex isn't everything), then that's the route you have to go. I don't understand how you people are so quick to blame someone else for these things when you were the one that did it to yourself for being too trusting in the first place!!

[This message has been edited by SH26 (edited 06-14-2003).]

why don't you find another site to frequent. This site is used for support purposes. People don't need to hear " IT's your fault, you did this to yourself, you deserve what you get" and so on. People need a friend who will help them out.

Oh and I suppose your the type of person that goes around not telling your partners that you have herpes too. Who cares about them right?.. Their fault.
Being too trusting is not a fault, being a malicious liar is. Good outlook on life you have there ;(.

[This message has been edited by Hopeful03 (edited 06-14-2003).]

Well said, Hopeful. SH, if you are saying that it is not your responsiblity to protect your sex partners from your infection and it is not your responsibility to inform them prior to exposing them then you are way, way wrong. If that is what you think then I think you should seek counseling - seriously.

Also, if this is true, I think I know what SH really stands for. If not, then my apologies.

For your info...no I don't have sex with people to purposely give them anything. I do have morals! I haven't had sex since I found out I've had herpes. People may need a friend, but they also need to face reality. Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way, but I stand strongly by my opinion. If you want to continue to depend on people to be honest, in such an unhonest world then you go right ahead. In the future when you end up with something worse, then I guess you can continue to blame someone else for your mistakes. I could understand if you weren't aware of the possiblities out there, but everyone is. It's plastered everywhere you look. Ignorance is within all of us at one time or another and we need to accept that and learn from it. If not, we will continue to be put in situations we might find we can't get out of!!

another20percenter,
I'm not going to respond to this person because he/she obviously lacks compassion. But on a lighter note, what's been going on with you? Have you tried alternative treatments?. I was excited when I read about Panavir thanks to you, and I emailed the guy. Unfortuantely he didn't get back to me. Have you heard anything from them?. Have you been outbreak free?..
I've been fortunate, no ob's since the first back in march. I've been using OOO and it's been good. Please keep us posted how your doing and I'll keep you updated on any new thong happenings http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

Grow up!! If more people would they wouldn't be in these types of situations!!

Hopeful, glad you remembered about the thongs and thanks for making me smile!

I haven't had an OB since mid April but I am fighting a really, really nasty cold and I think I have a little OB brewing to give it company. I have been doing great though; I've had a positive attitude and that's been making things alright. Life is good.

I missed you, Mutz Devestated, Sadgirl and of course 1in4 so I started popping in again - just like you said I would. Are you doing okay? Glad to hear the OBs have taken a hiatus.

Regarding Panavir updates, yes, I did get some news. I emailed them several times and they replied several times. It's not good or bad really. I'll post the email string under a separate topic for you to check out. Scroll to the bottom and read your way up.

Ciao for now!

another20percenter...

We missed you too...It's comforting coming to this site talking with all you optimistic people.

I'm glad you and Hopeful haven't had many (or any) OBs recently. You guys are really lucky.

Thanks for the Panavir info. Hey--We should all get together and take a trip to Russia for this treatment! I'd be willing to try anything! (Plus it'd be fun meeting all of you) http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hey sounds like a plan to me, I speak Russian http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif
and i read that it helps HPV which is what I have in addition to Herpes (isne't life grand, lol), I wonder if it cures HPV or treats it?..

I'm in; let's go!

Whoa!! You speak Russian? That's the one thing I was worrying about!!

OK...so...lets do this! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

If you want to put the time into it, then go for it, but it won't be easy. I agree with those saying that one must take the responsibility of their own actions when they get the disease, however, I also believe that when someone is knowingly spreading it, they should be held accountable. But how do you do that? Many states are passing laws that put people in prison for knowingly spreading HIV/AIDS, because it kills. What many people don't know is that herpes can kill too.

I met my husband when he and his ex wife were in the process of divorcing. She had decided freaky was better, and was experimenting in anything sexual she could find, especially over the internet. She tired new men, woman, or both at the same time. My husband is the old fashioned sort and just couldn't take it anymore. They got together just before he was 18. She was his first and only at that time. She on the otherhand, came to the table fully experienced.

When we got married, I knew to some degree about her sexual indiscretions and thought that perhaps he should be checked out. I already knew I was clean. Unfortunately, we never did, but I also never saw anything that would have given me a warning flag.

Anyway, (I'm trying to keep this short I promise!) during my first pregnancy, my husband unknowingly passed herpes to me and my unborn daughter. He never had a blister or a lesion or any of the symptoms they teach you about in healthy class. Now as you may well know, when you first contract herpes, you body has no resistance to it. The virus attacks your immune system and your white cells have to react and build antibodies to fight back. This takes about 12 weeks, during which time you usually have your first horrific outbreak. Then, depending on how healthy you are, your immune system spends the rest of your life trying to fight the virus.

So......because of the viral invasion, my water broke 5 weeks early and my daughter was born. She appeared healthy and perfect and we took her home the next day. However, she was infected with the virus and it takes about 7-10 days for it to surface. At 9 days, we ended up in the NICU. For 6 weeks she battled for her life. Since I had no anitbodies to pass on to her to protect her from the virus, she got it directly and it caused massive liver failure which resulted in numerous other complications. In these circumstances, brain damage is usually very common, and only about 50% of infants will survive. For weeks they did not even know what she had, because I was never symptomatic and my Dr. said there was no way I had it. They finally did blood work on me, and I did have it.
Even after we brought our daughter home, we were told she would still die within a month or so, because her liver was too badly damaged to recover. Thankfully, that was not the case and she made a full recovery and has no ill effects. However, she will have type 1 herpes for the rest of her life. When she gets sick, little blisters pop out on her fingers. It makes me sick.

Should I have been more responsible and done the testing, hell yes. However, that nasty whore knew she had it and was still spreading it. She was sleeping with young guys all over the place after the divorce. Since men do not usually get symptomatic like women do, these guys could turn around and unknowingly give it to their future wife or girlfriend and have the same thing happen to another baby. Had my daughter died, I'm sure it would have become my personal crusade to see her pay. My only recourse now is knowing that someday, she will get what is coming to her. I won't let it rob me of my energy that belongs to my daughter.

Well......that is my very long two cents.

Good day!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

hi,
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you and your daughter. I'm glad that everything is ok. Do you think you caught herpes from your husband just before delivery because it sounds like you should have developed antibodies in 9 months?.

hi,
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you and your daughter. I'm glad that everything is ok. Do you think you caught herpes from your husband just before delivery because it sounds like you should have developed antibodies in 9 months?.

Yes, I caught the virus when I was about 7 1/2 months pregant, which caused premature delivery. Even if I had started to build anti bodies for myself, the virus had already affected my daughter, as neither of us had anything to fight it with. The medical theory is that if you have either type of herpes prior to pregnancy, and have an outbreak during pregnancy, you pass the antibodies to the unborn child, which is then suppose to give them an immunity to Herpes Simplex 1. I don't know if I totally buy into that or not.

Amazingly enough, or maybe I should say sadly enough, herpes is so common anymore, the center for disease control doesn't even recognize it as a serious threat. Add to that the fact that about 50% of the people who have it are passive shedders, which means they carry the virus and pass it to others and never know they have it.

It really bites don't it! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Have a good day.

Hey Guys,

These posts are old but I'm going to reply anyway. SH, I agree with your post. We have to take responsibility for our own health. I don't think stating that fact also meant that you weren't being supportive. We can face reality and be supportive at the same time. I would'nt be a part of this forum if everyone held the same views. What good would that do any of us?