Hi all. Mom has an appt with a memory clinic on 6/18. I dont know if I will make it till then. Mom is staying at my house 5 days a week at the moment. All of our sanity is being pushed to the limit. She won't hear something proper or twist what was said and then she goes into a temper tantrum. Starts yelling and screaming. She also sees things in my house that she "thinks" is hers and want to take it home with her. If the item is small enough she will pack it in her suitcase and try to take it home. I have caught her doing this so many times I cant count.

Just needed a minute to vent, I better go and see what her problem is now. Shes yelling about something again.

Glad you have an appointment for an evaluation to see what is going on with your Mom's cognitive abilities. Hopefully that will give you the answers that you need. In the mean time have you discussed her behavior with her physician? There are medications they can prescribe to take the edge off the emotional roller coaster your Mom is on. Something as simple as a prn ativan or xanax worked wonders for Dad. I am sure they are dragging their feet until after the evaluation appointment but it might be worth your sanity in the next three weeks to push the issue.

Good luck! Sending you an extra dose of patience along with my thoughts and prayers.....

Love, deb

Her GP doctor has dragged his feet for the last 2 years. He had her on a med that is for schizophria(sp). She wouldnt take it, then I found out it can cause death in elderly dementia people, so I havent pushed her to start taking it again. So far the only med I can get her to take is for her thyroid. I kid with her that its the stranges shaped thyroid I have ever seen and then she will take it. Other wise its a fight to get her to take it. She doesnt want to take ANY meds ANYMORE. She will start yelling that at you.
I was going to video tape her but recorder is broken. So its back to writing what, when, how and how long she does stuff.
The obsseive behavior is the hardest for the kids to deal with.

I used my mobile camera phone to take photo's and record my ex-charge to PROVE to the doctors I was not making it up (as I was told by family members that it was NEVER as bad as I made it out to be .... maybe if they had had some more input they would have been able to remove their foot from their mouth *sigh*)

Once I got evidence of the faecally marked underwear in the cupboard where the plates were, the the little piles of packed up maggotty food in the washing machine, auditary evidence of her blathering and screaming, video evidence of a most spectacular tantrum a 3 yo would have been very proud of ... and yes, when somebody would say "Honey, come and sit down for a minute and have some breakfast" would promptly glare, stomp around, hit, kick anybody who came close enough ............ LORD knows what she thinks she heard!!!! THEN and only THEN did the doctor go "oh .. somethings wrong here"

By the way, we're pretty sure she's got Picks disease or Lewy Body's.... there are so many different forms out there, alzheimers and 'dementia' isn't always the correct diagnosis



Brilliant.

It sounds SOOOO familiar. Why do physicians, of all people, not get it. I called Mom's doctor and told him that I was having Mom tested, after I made her appointment. He told me it was not necessary. I told him I was doing it anyway and here we are. Dad was diagnosed with ALZ for years when that is not what he has. It's a fight just to get a proper diagnosis and that should not be the case with a disease that is as prevelent as dementia.

What a great idea to photograph or video evidence. I wish I had thought of that back then. It would have made some of the road thus far a little easier. What a creative group!!

Love, deb

Now - looking back 8 years or so - I think we could have done FAR more for Mom's mind and for my sanity if we had gone to a doctor right away, to a neurologist or gereontologist -- not her family physician who thought she was 'so cute' and her antics wildly amusing. Ho ho ho! It was funny to HIM.

Even some of the things Gemini mentioned like soiled underwear being put back, neatly folded, in a chest of drawers ... cracked up the good doctor. Everyone seemed to agree with his opinion: "good thing she has YOU living with her, to keep her safe." That I also had a 30 hour job plus more than 2 hours daily commute did not faze anybody My sister even said, "your job is so low paid that you might as well jut stay home with Mom." Sure. And climb walls together. I could not STAND being with her all those hours, as much as I loved her and wished her the best of everything.

NOW I am beginning to think that the right doctor at the right time could have prevented the night wandering, keeping me awake, the paranoiic ideas, the sadness and crying (at mid stage, lasting only a few - horrific - months ) ...and given us all a more peaceful and controlled life.

As it was, until her hip fracture caused permanent out of home care, it was a never ending nightmare.

My suggestion now to all newcomers (besides using a good nursing home instead of trying to do it all yourself) is to get the person properly evaluated and on medications. Until now I did not believe they really helped. But if we had only started in time, maybe they would have ...

Love,

Martha

my mom also detests taking meds, it is a chore and sometimes a fight of wits to get her to take them. like yours she feels that she dose not need anything anymore and some times just refuses to take them, if she does under protest she will choke and say she just can not swallow them and them spit them up. we have tried crushing them up and all sorts of things, now we just give them to her and tell her that she must take them and that is that.it seems to work best.....she will still pout but eventually she will take them. another kodak moment:D

Jags has a clone of my Mom with med issues. We went through months of changing times, crushing, not crushing, choking, spitting them back up, and refusal to take them. Then all that problem seemed to go away. We are on to a new obcession.... going home. If you wait long enough the crisis of the moment will change!!!!!

Love, deb

so the flavor of the moment for an obcession, is dirty dishes. seems all of a sudden ever dish in the house is dirty. My mom will stand and do dishes all day. as soon as you dirty one it is off to the sink and wash and dry, the putting away sometimes is fusturating but it seems that it is something she likes as she is always smiling while doing the dishes.....there could be worse obcessions for sure!!!!! I would like to mention that my mom also loves to sit and listen to music. the oldies on the radio seem to sooth her like nothing else. many a hour we will sit and sing along with them or just sit and chat. don't think either of us will ever make the american idol show but we sure have some fun...

Mom has been through the throw every thing away obcession, the cleaning obcession, the window washing obcession (which came close to driving everybody insane because the sitter drew the limit at window washing), the pill obcession, the dining room seating obcession, and now we are on the wash sheet EVERY day obcession and the I need to go home obcession. OH!! I forgot the pine straw obcession last summer when she sat in the flower beds picking up the pine straw, sorting all the trash out of it, and replacing it properly mixed with new pine straw. That took weeks because she had HUGE flower beds all over the yard. I'm just ready for her to get off this going home obcession because it's not going to happen!!!!!

Love, deb