I just talked to my mom and dad and it seems that they went on a overnight camping trip intheir motor home... They joined up with their club that they belong to. Good Sam, and had a good time, Their group is so good to my mom, they understand what is happening and help where it is needed. It was so good to hear her tell me about it. Now I am wondering, can Alzheimers go into remission??? does it sometimes slow down for a bit. It sure seems that lately my mom is doing so much better. She of course still has terrible short memory but it seems like her health is on an upswing...I am probably hoping for something that will not happen...anyway just thought I would share a small ray of sunshine, there has been so few in the last little while..

jagsmu.............Its always good when our loved ones have a good weekend or even a day. In the beginning we use to hope that we were wrong about Moms illness. Not so. Now we just call the ups and downs "the light switch". Sometimes the switch is on and then suddenly its off.
Everyone is different I'm sure. At first the symptoms were not as frequent. Now the switch is off at much longer intervals. Am I making any sense?? I do know how you are feeling. This is what is so awful about this disease. It gives you glimses of the Mom you knew. Then your hopes are dashed when the dementia comes back and shows its very ugly self.
Just enjoy the fact that she had a good time and hope that it lasts awhile. We rode that rollercoaster for two years praying all the while that just maybe.................????
I hate to say these things to you. Its so hard to come to grips with these things. Better you know now than to find out later. Maybe your Moms progression will be slow? My Moms was slow compared to others I have read about.
Thank you for sharing your Moms good time. That "ray of sunshine" helps.

Chris

ya I realize that the disease will not go away and only progress, but maybe like you mom it will be slow, at this point I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.Does that sound awlful!!!!! It is hard to see my mom as she use to be and then overnight she is a shell of someone we use to know....I guess my dad and I will just enjoy the good times and work through the bad. The hard thing is during the good times is usually when my brothers and sister call and then have a harder time understanding or perhaps just don't want to understand what is happening. I do beleive that they sometimes thing I am overreacting and that I am making a mountian out of a mole hill...or perhaps I am over protective....we each handle this in different ways I know, but for them to put their heads in the sand and leave it to me some times feels unfair. My husband reminds me that it is their loss not to be taking the time to visit while my mom still can handle it and remember them and enjoy...

I agree with all you both said. Mom has good moments and even good days. I have learned to just be thankful for the good moments because those other moments are not far behind. I have had the same thoughts as you Jags.... Dad has had his dementia for over 8 years. Mom is working perhaps year 3 or 4. Mom still knows something is not right but thinks it is us and not her. She so dreaded this disease after her mother, sister, and husband were all inflicted. There are days I wish for the day that it is over.... not for me but for her ::sigh::

Evidently camping is routine for them. Something she probably feels comfortable doing. Also the other people knowing and understanding her situation and helping where they can offered her a familiar respit from her own mind. While Mom was still home she enjoyed her bridge nights. She rarely played the right card and there was some major manipulation of the rules and scoring but those she played with knew her situation and it was all for fun. In the mean time your Dad had a nice weekend as well to recover from his stress. Thank you for sharing such a good weekend

I also agree on your siblings. They are missing out on those good moments with their Mom. It is their loss. Some just can't cope. We all know how hard it is and some are just not as strong as we that accept the reality are. I consider it a statement of our strengths ;) So let it empower you rather than drag you down that they cannot stand up and be counted.

Love, deb

A Light switch! Oh my gosh. That's just what it is like! This is what is good about learning from you all...just a phrase helps it make sense.

We had been lulled into such a false sense of security with mom and then when she slipped back on Memorial Day we were all scurrying looking for help and answers.

We also had a good weekend with her after a disastrous week.. I sit here typing this wondering what the next phone call will bring so we take it a day at a time and enjoy her pretty smile while we can before it turns dour and ugly again.

And about others not believeing what you say..I understand that completely...on the phone, my mom can sound totally normal to those who don't deal with her daily. They don't get it.

On my mom's sweet days I just want to hug her and sqeeze her til she pops because she can be so cute..it's so hard to believe the other person is in there just lurking, waiting to come out.


Love, Meg

Meg,
I'm so glad you had a good weekend...you deserve it and enjoy them when you can. Hug your Mom ALOT and continue to tell her how much you love her!

Love Janie

jagsmu........I have the same problem with other family members and friends not understanding just how Moms short term memory is progressing. My cousin went to visit Mom at her AL apartment. She called me when she left and said "Your Mom is doing so well. We had a wonderful visit. She seems just fine to me. I just don't see the decline you talk about". Little did she know that 5 minutes after she left, or sooner, there was no memory of her visit. I called Mom then and ask if she had a visitor, "No. No one has been here". Not "Sheryl". "No, I haven't seen her in quite a while". "What time is supper? How do I get there? Oh, they will come and get me. I didn't know that".
Mom is much more quiet now. Not the chatterbox she used to be. I miss that. My son said that he misses "Grandma". She was always running about handling everything. Going on and on about anything and everything. She sometimes gets "the look". Its a blank stare. Nothing there look. No sparkle. I saw that same look in Grams and Grandpas eyes. Very sad. Heartbreaking. I'll ask something about years ago. Those years she can recall very well. Then maybe the sparkle will show again in her eyes. Sometimes not. It does not sound awful that you don't want this to drag on for years. Its just too hard on everyone. Really hard on Mom. She knows. She asks "Why can't I remember"? I make some excuse. But she knows. It has to be so frightening to her. Now that the decline is getting worse I pray for it to be over soon. Then when she gets sick...........I pray, Not now. Crazy...............It has been a long time and we all are tired. We all love her.

Sorry, I didn't mean to go on. Just a few things you might notice later in time. Anyway its hard to explain to people who are not seeing our loved ones on a daily or weekly basis. I know how you feel. Glad to help with the light switch explanation. Actually I don't recall where I got that one. But it sure helps. Doesn't it?
Have a good day. :)
Chris

Your post brings back painful memories; Mom's sparkling blue eyes turned blank. It was as if no one was in there. Terrible, so sad.

I nearly fell apart the day she started telling her usual stories of the old days and got it all wrong. Up until then she still had her long term memories, now, just vague bits and pieces which she put together wrong. The subject was how she and my Dad met in 1929. She was telling it to a stranger, a visitor , and got the details all wrong. I think that was the day I realised she was never again going to be the Mom I had known. Even her distant past was fading away into oblivion.

This disease breaks your heart.

Love,

Martha

Martha.......I know thats coming. The complete memory loss. Oh, how I dread that day. Gram had one son, my Dad, she adored him. She forgot all about him. When he passed away Grandpa wanted to know if I knew the fella in the coffin?? How sad is that? At least it didn't hurt him, right?
Anyone going through this horrible time better be prepared for very sad times. Then again it helps you be thankful for all of the good you have in your life.
Thanks for listening. My grandson wants the computer now. Now thats one of the good things I have................
Chris :)