Hi-I just wanted to say I wish you could talk to me in person too, I really can feel what a hard time you are having right now. Seek your nonjudgmental friends or just one even and if you don't feel comfortable with that look for a counselor you can see even if it's once a month...someone who can help you put this in perspective, come up with a plan with how you will deal with it and who will be your "back up" when you need a supportive person. Your ducks are just all over the pond right now but they will line up, really. My sister with "H" did have a rejection experience when she told a boyfriend before she met her husband-I had to help her through it. But, put it in perspective...the guy was a fast mover, way too good looking for anyone's good and looking back she feels he really didn't know much of her as a person... can you spell "P-L-A-Y-E-R!!!" In other words, he was an incredibly good looking worm http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif It is my experience from having friends with STD's and being an STD-er myself that if they love you they will be there with you and if they don't then it's "next!" Just look at how accepting you were of your ex...you felt love! Re-read my posts to you about people who move on and keep looking till they find the one (or more?) who are okay with it...and GREAT NEWS...you don't have to disclose it to anyone you don't feel comfortable in doing so...so if you know you should tell whoever you want to be intimate with then hopefully they will have built a reputation with you of being giving and so forth. You may benefit from the dating approach I mentioned I use when you decide you are ready for that. Also there are dating sights on the internet for "H" positive people http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I am voting we "H: positive people take the approach, "This is what I've got. In order to be with you I need to know that you are willing to work with me and around my medical issues." Then if they dump you act like you can't believe they would toss a goddess like yourself aside over some incredibly common virus http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I would predict in the next few decades this virus is going to have the reputation of a corn flake compared to the new things people are getting. Alot of people I know just lump it into the "cold sore virus" and don't think twice about it. It also helped me to keep an "H" journal http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I wrote out all my feelings then turned to "positive journaling"...that is where you write your problems and then write the positives of it. I even came up with a "Top Five Great Things About Having "H" list!!!!" Don't push yourself to be there yet, just remember there are people with venereal warts (incurable), AIDS (incurable and fatal) and pleeease don't idealize guys you date...a lot of them have at least one thing in their past they wouldn't even tell their cat! haha MF

Hey MF, you are truly wonderful--thanks so much, you really cheered me up! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif This damn virus would mean nothing to me (my symptoms were virtually non-existant, just a little irritation, that's all) if not for the stigma associated with it at present and the fear of giving it to someone I love. But like you said, it could always be worse. This moring I saw a young, good-looking guy who had only one leg and I practically felt ashamed for obsessing so much about my own problem. I realized that I would not be willing to trade places with a lot of other people who have different medical conditions. Yep, you're right that nobody is perfect, and I am trying to accept it about myself (I have always been a ridiculous perfectionist LOL). Good luck on your date! Is it this weekend?