Hi everybody,

I would really appreciate some help and support on an issue we have at the moment.

My wife’s father dropped a bomb shell last week and informed us he has cancer and it is terminal. He is 75 years old, very straight forward and ferociously independent; he simply hates having to depend on anybody. Equally so he is very dismissive of anybody who tries to question him about this, simply stating he has been informed he as “gut” cancer and it is terminal.

Of course we are all very upset but given time I have started to rationalise and think about this and this is where, hopefully some of you guys can offer help and assistance.

The facts are that he is passing blood; he has dreadful pains in his stomach area and as such as been to his GP for blood tests. The results of which, according to him, confirms that he as cancer and not only that it is beyond treatment. To the best of our knowledge he has been nowhere near a cancer dept in a hospital, as had no further tests i.e. MRI, CT, X-rays or a biopsy. But he insists that his GP, based on the results of this blood test has informed him he is thermally ill. Again to the best of our knowledge he as absolutely no referral anywhere for further examination and tests.

The more I think about this the more concerned I become and would really appreciate advice. Can this happen? Can a blood test reveal such a thing? Is my father in law simply jumping to conclusions?

I actually find it hard to believe, even though we are very upset,that such a diagnosis can come from a blood test.

We have tried to talk to his GP but he simply refuses to discuss my father in laws medical history with me or my wife.

We are kind of at a loss at to what to do or where to turn to seek help and advice on this issue.

I would also like to add that he as always “enjoyed” a drink but for sometime now he has been seriously hitting the bottle, which makes it very difficult for us to discuss this with him. Since he told us this, we have real concerns about his welfare as he lives alone in an OAP flat. Again we are met with a stone wall when we try to discuss this with his GP.

We are concerned that he simply has heard the word cancer and pressed the self destruct button.

Any advice would be welcome.

Kev, just read your message and my heart goes out to you. My Auntie died in january from pancreatic cancer. She had a blood test which detected it also in February my mum died from myeloma and again her cancer was detected in blood tests. I dont know what your father in laws diagnosis was but what i do know is that even though cancer can be picked up in blood tests more tests are carried out to confirm diagnosis, prognosis and possible treatment and your father in law should have been referred to the hospital. Maybe he has gone into denial and the only way he can cope is by shutting down. Is there anyone else in your family who can speak to him? or maybe you could write him a letter putting down everything you want to say. Sadly his doctor canot discuss his condition with you because of privacy rules but it is possible as you say that he could be thinking the worst and jumping the gun. There are a lot of cancer support groups so perhaps they could help. I know they offer a lot of good advice as well as emotional support because they helped my family a lot. I will keep you in my prayers and hope things turn out ok for you. Let us know how you get on and sorry i could not offer more help.