I've been in a relationship with someone for almost two years, and he is taking steroids, this is now his second cycle, each time hes in a cycle, he acts negatively towards me, and has severe mood swings, he basically acts like he hates me and wants nothing to do with me.

He's obsessed with working out, he acts happy and angry in a flash, when starting cycles, its caused alot of relationship problems, because he acts like he does not want me. When really its the stupid steroids.



How can I help him, what will it take to get him to understand how much i care about him, and how do i deal with the way hes being to me while taking them. i love him soo much i dont want to see him like this.

please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

girlie23,

You may or may not be able to get through to him that steroids are bad for his health and bad for his relationships. He is an adult. He will live his life the way he chooses. You cannot change someone who does not want to change, as painful as that sometimes is.

My question for you is, what are you doing to take care of yourself? What are you doing to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable to you? If you continue to stay with him out of concern for his health, then you are allowing him to continue being abusive to you, and you are not giving him a reason to change.

Yes, I know about loving someone and wanting the best for them. I know that it is painful to watch them do harmful things to themselves, and to want to help them to be the best that they can be. I know that this love can make us stay with someone through abuse, because we think that they need us.

But sweety, you need yourself and your self-respect as well. My advice is to put your foot down and tell him that you will not accept such abusive behavior. He then has the choice to change his behavior and stop using steroids, or lose you. Are you prepared for that? It may or may not be the wake-up call that he needs. But you have to see to your own needs.

I'm speaking as a middle-aged woman who has had her share of staying in abusive relationships out of love, because I am convinced that someone needs me. It took me a long time to realize that letting someone walk all over me is not a sign of love, and it doesn't help either of us to be the best we can be.

I'm sending {{{hugs}}} your way. Please stand up for yourself. You deserve respect and love yourself.

Please forgive me if I am mis-interpreting your message. I don't know you and am probably reading far too much of myself into your message. But I do care. I hope that you find a way to get through to him. But I am more concerned for you.

--Rheanna

girlie23, just wanted to say that I really feel the advise Rheanna gave you is very very good advise, and I hope you can find the strength to do the right thing, which is a very hard thing to do.

You really need to understand that the best thing you can do for yourself and likely your boyfriend is protect yourself first by leaving him if he continues the abuse, there is just never a valid excuse for that, hopefully this will be the wake up call your boyfriend needs so that he stops hurting himself with steroids, and stops treating you unfairly.

Sometimes when we want to help someone, the best thing we can do is take a step back.

I wish you all the best