After I reread my post, I know it sounds like I am so worried about herpes like if I had it I would be a leper or something. I don't believe that at all. I actually believe I have such a good immune system that I would be one that would not have many outbreaks (if any). I'm seeing a psychologist and I know my fear stems from the fear that I will never find anyone to love and having an incurable STD would just exacerbate that as not finding someone is a fear I am having already. I would not have this fear if I was with someone for the long run or if I was married. I would even risk getting herpes for love or if I was married. I know the grass is always greener on the other persons' yard, but I do feel I would risk contracting this disease for someone I love and who loves me.

Originally posted by MSJade:
I know the grass is always greener on the other persons' yard, but I do feel I would risk contracting this disease for someone I love and who loves me. [/B]

Except of course if the other person has dogs. Then their yard is sort of a brown straw colour http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

MSJade

I sometimes wonder if, despite my (and others sufferers') complaining about never finding a partner, that actually we are using herpes as a barrier, (almost as an excuse,) against having relationships. I'm not saying this is you, I'm just wondering aloud about my own motivations.

Relationships are hard work, and it's easy to hide from the world (and most importantly oneself) behind a perceived sense of 'difference'.

Just musing aloud. :-)

Garnet

I feel unfortunate for people that suffer from physical pain from herpes. On an emotional note though. I have learned to turn it into something positive in my life. What's to say if you didn't have herpes that you would have a partner. I think about my social life before I got it.

The only difference now is I don't have any losers in my life to cause me grief. If you don't have a partner its not because of the disease. I view it like this..since I do have the infection..casual dating is completely out..meaning casual s*x.

Next I am only open to dating people I can have a meaningful relationship with. When I meet people that display characteristics of being an a$$hole...they are cut instantly..before I got herpes I can't say that would have been the case.

Now I have raised the standards for the type of men I will date. So in my life herpes has been a good thing more so than a bad thing...something to think about.

If you are single take this time to just relax..understand who you are and get try to figure out what you would want in a partner. I am sure alot of us with herpes are probably better off than some of our friends that dont' have it because now we are not just jumping in and out of dead-end relationships.