I was just diagnosed by both a skin culture and blood tests after 3 years of what have turned out to be very minor outbreaks. For those of you that are wondering about this virus being dormant for years, I suppose I am proof that this is possible.

17 years ago, I was one of the guys that everyone on this board is hoping that they find - at least concerning H. I had a girlfriend who it turns out slept around a lot pior to meeting me and contracted H when she was in college. Shortly after we met, she had "the talk" with me. I understood and accepted the situation and we stayed together. We were very careful to not have skin-to-skin contact whenever she had an outbreak and I always washed thoroughy after we were together. Interestingly, I caught her cheating on me about 1 1/2 yrs later so that was the end of our relationship. I never showed any signs of contracting the H throughout our relationship and simply thought I had just been careful/lucky.

I met my wife 5-6 years later and have been with her ever since. 3 years ago, I had an itch on my scrotum - no pain, no other symptoms - and then noticed that my fingers were a little damp from where I was scratching (prior to a shower). After a few days, it went away and I didn't think anything of it other than it being an irritation. A few months later, it showed up again on my scrotum on another spot and I got concerned so I went to my doctor becasue I know that anything that is recurring down there should be cause for concern. He did a swab test to rule herpes out for sure but he said it didn't look like herpes to him. The test came back negative and I was relieved.

Fast-forward to this past summer and I had many more OB's but hardly ever in the same spot, never painful, and no symptoms prior to the outbreaks other than occasionally I had aches in my legs and testicles. I visted 3 other doctors during my OB's and they too said that, "I've seen a lot of std's befor but that ain't one of them" and told me to not worry about it. Again, I was still worried because of the recurrance. Finally, I went to another dermatologist and he too said, "based on what I see, it should be no cause for concern" but to set my mind at ease, he did a biopsy and sent it out for a testing thinking it was Miliaria (heat rash). The test came back positive for herpes and we confirmed it with a blood test.

So hear I sit, only one month after being diagnosed with my 2 new friends, Mr. Zoloft and Mrs. Famvir. I have been married for 10 years, am a father of 5, have never been anywhere close to unfaithful with my wife nor has she been unfaithful with me. I sat my wife down along time ago and told her what was going on (I had told her about the H in my other relationship long ago) and asked her if she had ever been unfaithful with me. She said no and I trust her 100% as does she with me. Incidentally, she has no symptoms. Also, our relationship is strong and this has had no effect other than being so mentally painful for me to accept.

Could this virus sit dormant in me for 17 years? Hell if I know but it looks to be the case. There have only been 2 people in that past 10 years that have touched my penis - my wife and my urologist. Interestingly, 6 months prior to the first OB I know of, I had a vascectomy; I've been wondering if this triggered it - does that make sense?

I have had a tough 3 years dealing with this and it's been even more difficult on me since I've been diagnosed - as you all understand, I'm sure. I suppose in my case, the diagnosis is worse than the disease.

I really don't know much about this virus, why my symptoms are so minor, why I never had a "first outbreak" like most of you have, when the times are that I can transmit it to my wife and if there's any possible chance that my kids can get it. (I suppose I'll be paranoid about this forever) I really don't have anyone that I can speak to about this that understands so if anyone has any observations or recommendations, I'd sure like to hear from you.

Hi,

I am a newbie, too, and I am still learning more about H myself. But, based on the results of your viral culture test and blood test, do you know if you have HSV1 or HSV2 or both?

I've read that genital HSV1 tend to cause less severe and less frequent OB's. So, find out which type(s) you have. Also, I think your wife should get a blood test too even though she has no symptoms.

You've arrived at one of the best message board about H. There are many people here who offer great advice. Hang in there and take care.

It's been known to happen and no one knows why. The virus affects different people differently. I don't see how you could pass it on to your children. The only way you could do that is if you touch your genitals while you're shedding the virus (even if you don't have any symptoms) and immediately touch your children where they have a skin irritation or cut so the virus can enter their body. So if you wash your hands after you touch your genitals, you can't pass it on to your kids.

Hi 20%er,

I'm sooo sorry to hear you've joined our ranks. I really sympathise with your frustration from being misdiagnosed for so long. It's a real problem in the medical field, unfortunately. It is estimated that as many as 90% of people who have genital herpes don't know it because they don't get symptoms or don't recognise their symptoms as being herpes. So you're far from alone in your story.

The chances of you passing it on to your kids is extremely remote. It's really only through skin-to-skin contact with the infected areas that you could pass it on. According to ASHA (Amer. Social Health Assn.) there are no documented cases of getting herpes from an inanimate object like toilet seat, towel or bathtub. However when having an OB you might want to be cautious about sharing bath towels. It's probably not an issue but I've personally made sure I don't share towels when I'm having an OB, just to be on the safe side.

Often people like yourself (who've had it for years before suddenly getting symtoms) report a time of high stress or illness around the time when symptoms suddenly start happening. So it seems possible that the vascectomy might have triggered something. Another possibility is that you got genital HSV-1 through receiving oral sex. Do you know which type you tested positive for in the swab test? If it's HSV-1 it could explain the relatively minor symptoms, as well as the recent onset of it.

The main thing that will help prevent transmission to your wife is to avoid any skin-to-skin contact with your genital area while you're having an OB (plus and minus 2-3 days). Also, taking antivirals on a daily preventive basis will minimise the viral shedding that make you contagious. Viral shedding will typically happen at OB sites but that's not 100% guaranteed; it will, however, stay in the same general area (e.g., the "boxer shorts" area for genital herpes).

Using a condom is also typically recommended, but may not be helpful in your case because your OB area lies well outside the condom area. You and your wife need to talk about how she feels about the possibility that she could get it from you. There's no way to 100% guarantee you won't pass it on other than complete abstinence, including sexual touching. You can avoid sex during OBs and take the antivirals, which will greatly reduce the risk but there will still be a risk, as you well know. You and your wife need to talk about this, if you haven't already.

Also, if what you have is HSV-2 your wife should get blood tested (type-specific) to see if she already has it asymptomatically too. Not that I would wish it on her, but it could simplify your strategy considerably if she does since you two wouldn't need to be as cautious. I'm really glad this hasn't thrown your relationship into a tailspin. That will help both of you a lot in figuring out how to handle this.

If you live near a large population area, there may be a herpes support group in your area. It might help you get a handle on this by having others to talk to about it. Your doctor might know about this, or if there's a Planned Parenthood in your area they'd probably know.

Good luck! Keep us posted how you're doing. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

TheOneInFour

I beg to differ...

I have had HSV-1 since I was 5. I can't think of any way I may have got it other than from my mom. She's the only one in my family who has it as well, and the only thing I can think of is that she kissed me as a kid or something. If that isn't it, she must have done something...I was never abused or anything like that,so I don't know...Like I said, I know it's weird, but I've had it since I was 5 (maybe younger, but I can't really remember that far back). Can it be passed from a mother to a child through birth?
Josh

Josh-
Do you have it on your mouth or on your penis? Oral HSV 1 is spread through non sexual contact between family and friends. In which case, it is possible to spread to children and such. I've had oral herpes since I was a small child as well, and both of my parents have it too.
He was asking if it could be spread from his genitals, which wouldn't be very likely.
It can be spread during childbirth, and the virus has a very serious affect on infants. In the past, doctors would do a C-section, but now to prevent this, doctors give pregnant women supressive therapy during their final weeks of pregnancy, and if they have no signs of an OB, they can have a vaginal birth. (My best friend who has HSV-2 was given the drugs and wouldve had a vaginal birth, but because the baby's heart rate dropped, they did a C-section to get her out as quickly as possible)

No on the mouth, sorry. I guess that wasn't the topic here. Yeah it's weird though...Like only my mom has it though, not my dad. I wonder if he really doesn't kiss her or anything when she has one? Anyways, I guess the only way I could have got it was kissing her or something, not like you have a choice when your 4...

Hi Jooner,

It's possible to have herpes (orally or genitally) and not get symptoms and yet still be contagious sometimes. Also, you are usually contagious 2 or 3 days before and after symptoms are present, so even if it doesn't look like you have a cold sore, you still might be shedding the virus from there, making you contagious. And it's possible to shed the virus in between outbreaks without any symptoms.

I'm sure you did get HSV-1 from your mom. Your dad might or might not have it, with or without symptoms. Some people just never get it and it's not known why. Most people know cold sores are contagious and avoid kissing when they have one, but sometimes one sneaks in there anyway without warning. Why you get symptoms and your dad doesn't (or doesn't have it) is one of medicine's little mysteries, I guess.

TheOneInFour

Thanks to all for your replies, I really appreciate your comments. Yes, the blood test confirmed HSV-2. My doctor seems to think that my syptoms may be minor due to the duration I likely have been infected. Not sure if that makes sense or not.

Regarding my children, 1in4, the things that concern me are times when I'll go swimming with my children, when they sit in my lap, when they crawl in my bed at night, etc. It doesn't sound to me as if transmission will be likely - is that correct? Sorry for sounding so paranoid but I just don't know for sure.

20%er, I completely understand your concern about your kids, although I really think it's not very likely that you'd expose them. As far as them sitting on your lap or crawling into bed, as long as you're not naked from the waist down, there's no problem. If you've got an active wet blister, you might want to be a bit more cautious and I only say that because I'm thinking that the fluid could ooze through clothes, but again it's extremely unlikely that there'd be a danger. And I think the chlorine in a swimming pool would kill the virus anyway; just don't go swimming when you're having an OB to be on the safe side.

People do tend to have fewer OBs the longer they have it, so that's probably what your doc was referring to. It's not known why this happens. One theory is that the virus kind of "runs out" in time, although I think that's an older theory. Another theory is that as people get older they learn how to handle their stress better and so the virus doesn't get reactivated as often. There are probably other theories too. I think herpes.org (in this board's Resource Links) has an article that talks about this, if you're interested in finding out more. It's a great site anyway for more in-depth information.

The truth is that the frequency, severity and pattern of outbreaks varies greatly, both between individuals and between different parts of people's lives. I've had genital herpes for some 17 years or so and was pretty consistent in my OB patterns, but then suddenly 5 years ago it went all wonky, spreading to new OB sites, different kinds of symptoms, etc. I had a number of new health issues come up around that time so I think this was responding to that. So it can change.

Anyway, keep us posted how you're dealing with this. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

TheOneInFour

I've always assumed that people get fewer OBs due to the building up of more and more antibodies...

Originally posted by TickledPeenk:
I've always assumed that people get fewer OBs due to the building up of more and more antibodies...

I don't know, Peenk, it might be a factor too. But I suspect the volume of antibodies in our blood may change up and down, rising when you have an OB and then falling back a bit when you don't. I'm going on what my doctor said about how he sometimes uses the IgM blood test, which normally is pretty useless because it doesn't differentiate between type-1 and type-2. He said that if someone has a lesion happening and the IgM comes back as positive or high, it can support a speculative diagnosis that the lesion is herpes (and cast additional doubt on a negative result for a swab culture of the lesion). So it sounds like the volume of antibodies goes up when we're having an OB, and suggests it ebbs when we're not. This is a layperson's speculation, though, based on incomplete information. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

1in4

bumped up for you

Thank you!
I thought it was hard tobelieve it has been silent in my relationship for 5 years- this is very interesting. Thank you for bumping it.

Bump

Update - Although I was shocked when I initially was diagnosed, my wife and I have come to terms with this with no problems. Our relationship is stronger than ever before. Life is good...

Thanks for bumping up for me. Your story is very reassuring for me. When I first started doing research on the internet to try to learn more about H, all I found were msg boards with people saying things like "Help, my husband went to a hooker and got herpes what can I do?" and things of this nature. It is so nice to read about people more like me and my situation. I loved what you said about the only people who have touched your penis are your wife and Dr.. That is just what my dh said when I came home with this diagnosis. As far as you not having much or severe obs, my dh has very little, if any ob. If he has had them we never really noticed them, and I also did not have a bad first ob, since I don't even know when I got this. It was a long time ago, but I don't recall anything like I have read about here. This board has been so helpful for me, thanks everybody!

No problem, Mommy (still feels wierd calling you mommy!). For more support, check out racoon.com - they have some real powerhouses packed with knowledge on this topic. Also, if you want to talk to me/email me about dealing with this, look up "20percenter" at racoon.com under users and you'll be able to email me. I'd be happy to talk to you more.

Hang tough, you'll be okay.

[This message has been edited by another20percenter (edited 09-18-2003).]

bump for blue

Bump for t5403cg.

You'll get through this fine. My marriage is better than it's ever been before and yours will be too.