Hello everyone. I am new to this board, and am searching for anwsers. I have had obsessive thoughts my entire life. I lived pretty normaly, until my eairly teens, when extreme agouraphobia began dominating my entire world. Then eventually turned into extreme obsession. Like constantly picking at my face, zipping and unzipping my pants, buttoning and unbuttoning.Nothing ever seemed to be in balance, or good enough for me.I started taking reisperdal and lexapro at about 20 years old or so, and the worst of the obsessions seemed to go away. I still struggled with alcoholism although, and never seemed to be quite happy.The reisperdal also made me gain alot of weight, and I was tired alot. I get sevearly depressed sometimes, and also have some manic issues,which makes me think I might also be bipolar. So any ssri's would be a bad idea, from what Ive been told.Hence the Lexapro, and others that I have been on.I have been on quite a few ssri drugs, as well as a few antipsycotics. The only thing I take now, is xanax for the extreme anxiety that I feel every wakeing moment, and have totally relapsed back into all of my obsessive thoughts. I also feel like everything can be very sureal at times, and it can be scary.I am 27 now, and am having a very hard time doing even the simplest of tasks, without feeling compleatly paralized. If anyone has any advice or helpful info, or even similar situations. It would be greatly appreciated.Thank you.