I lost my cousin about 5 and half months ago, we were very close he died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 38, he left behind a wife and 6 young kids, its changed everything i have ever thought about the way the world works,things like this happen to other people not me.. i cant seem to let him go, he really was a good person and mostly i just miss him. I never gone through anything like this before i feel like things should be getting better but its just staying the same, i cry most evenings of the week, because it was so sudden i worry about everyone and everything.seem to be drinking much more ta help me sleep, i not seelping much find it so hard to go to sleep i find myself listening to my heart beat i know its crazy and i know there's nothing wrong with it, its all in my head, everyone says i need to talk to someone, but im always talking about im bored of listening to myself. I was really just wondering if anyone felt like that, i just so lost i really miss him, its weird if some how i just knew he was ok, i think i would be ok

I recently lost someone close to me, unexpectedly and he was only 25 when he died. I think it's normal to be scared of losing others around you so unexpectedly after a loss like that, and maybe to even fear for your own health. You're not going crazy - to be unaffected by such a loss would be crazy. You're normal, I promise.

If I were you, I would go talk to someone - it doesn't have to be a doctor. A lot of churches offer grief counseling or counselors. It's not just about you talking to someone, it's about what they have to say to you. I know it's tiresome and emotionally draining to keep talking about it but it is worth it. As soon as I went to a psychologist, I started bawling when I opened my mouth to speak. Yet, I could talk to friends and family just fine. Something about the atmosphere, the unbiased and non-judgmental confidant really helps you get out feelings you didn't know you had... So just find someone to let it out to, listen to what they have to say, take the advice that works for you and try not to rely on drugs or alcohol to help you through this... if it's your own health you fear for, that would be a bit counter-productive.

I hope things look up for you soon.

Hello Sibh, im from Belfast (N.Ireland) and had a very similar experience with almost identical symptoms. If you feel like talking let me know.

Here is a link to said post..http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=620105

Thanks for your replys, things have gotten better since i started seeing some one to talk to,its weird things i didnt even know i was thinking about came up,im very interested in the symptoms you suffered, im still working though mine so real, but they say there not so im learning to deal with them

I lost my cousin about 5 and half months ago, we were very close he died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 38, he left behind a wife and 6 young kids, its changed everything i have ever thought about the way the world works,things like this happen to other people not me.. i cant seem to let him go, he really was a good person and mostly i just miss him. I never gone through anything like this before i feel like things should be getting better but its just staying the same, i cry most evenings of the week, because it was so sudden i worry about everyone and everything.seem to be drinking much more ta help me sleep, i not seelping much find it so hard to go to sleep i find myself listening to my heart beat i know its crazy and i know there's nothing wrong with it, its all in my head, everyone says i need to talk to someone, but im always talking about im bored of listening to myself. I was really just wondering if anyone felt like that, i just so lost i really miss him, its weird if some how i just knew he was ok, i think i would be ok

Sorry to hear of your loss, I know what you are going through, we lost our son aged 48 4 weeks ago, due to suicide, it seems like I will never be the same again, please dont get into the drink, that is not the answer, you will recover, not fully ,eventually, we cry every day and ask ourselves why, but I am afraid we will never know the answer, as you wont, Just try to be strong and take each day as it comes, you have to go on living even if it is only to be strong for your cousins wife. Sleep will come, dont dwell on his death every minute of the day, that is not what he would want. If you have concerns about your own health. see your doctor.