alyson5
07-05-2008, 01:39 PM
I am new to the board. I am looking to communicate with those who grew up in a home with a very violent father suffering from ptsd. Is anyone out their.
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casatonia 1
07-07-2008, 09:09 PM
hello,i dont know if this counts but i did grow up with an incredibly violent father,he is one of the reasons i have PTSD and depression.as far as i know though he did not suffer from these illness' cassie
janewhite1
07-07-2008, 09:26 PM
I was once very close to someone whose father suffered from PTSD (Vietnam related.) He once told me, "Sometimes, when my daddy gets angry, he forgets things. Like that he loves me."
Life was very chaotic in that house. The father suffered violent rages from time to time, saying and doing deeply hurtful things. They never travelled, because he was convinced on an emotional level that if he strayed too far from the base, the Viet Cong would get him. The father also had occasional panic attacks, and periods of euphoria in which he would recklessly spend money the family didn't have.
Yet, at times, another man shone through his disease, one who loved his wife and children deeply and would do anything to protect them. A wise and insightful man, who'd learned from painful experience.
The effects on the children were profound. The son, in his twenties, had both low self-esteem and high expectations for himself. He'd decided not to follow in his father's footsteps, but had no other male role model to teach him how to be an adult. He reacted to problems or failure by panicking and imagining the worst possible outcome, rather than by seeking a solution.
What actions have you taken to overcome the effects of growing up with a troubled parent? Are you living on your own, have you sought counseling?
Life was very chaotic in that house. The father suffered violent rages from time to time, saying and doing deeply hurtful things. They never travelled, because he was convinced on an emotional level that if he strayed too far from the base, the Viet Cong would get him. The father also had occasional panic attacks, and periods of euphoria in which he would recklessly spend money the family didn't have.
Yet, at times, another man shone through his disease, one who loved his wife and children deeply and would do anything to protect them. A wise and insightful man, who'd learned from painful experience.
The effects on the children were profound. The son, in his twenties, had both low self-esteem and high expectations for himself. He'd decided not to follow in his father's footsteps, but had no other male role model to teach him how to be an adult. He reacted to problems or failure by panicking and imagining the worst possible outcome, rather than by seeking a solution.
What actions have you taken to overcome the effects of growing up with a troubled parent? Are you living on your own, have you sought counseling?
alyson5
07-08-2008, 11:06 AM
I have been a blessed one. God has watched over me all my life. I was able to raise a very happy healthy family who themselves are great parents and have wonderful marriages. One has been happily married for 17 years and three children. The other has been married for 12 years and two children. We are all very close. I have been hiding my childhood from others and it has croped up after my father's death. I now see how my childhood has effected me with depression and anxiety. I am going to Celebrate Recover was 12 steps Christ-base centered support group. I have also gone to a counselor to talk about my childhood. It was helped a lot to address my past. I believe one of my big problems was unresolved grief for my family.
alyson5
07-08-2008, 11:25 AM
hello,i dont know if this counts but i did grow up with an incredibly violent father,he is one of the reasons i have PTSD and depression.as far as i know though he did not suffer from these illness' cassie
Yes, That does count. How are you doing and do you have any brothers or sisters?
Yes, That does count. How are you doing and do you have any brothers or sisters?
negot
07-29-2008, 03:17 AM
Alyson, I just read your post on the other thread. I grew up in a violent home and it has affected every single area of my life. My mother was the violent one. She was incredibly abusive and my whole childhood was a nightmare. I was terrified of my mother until I was well in my twenties and had left the house. My father was also abusive although he didn't beat us. He was an alcoholic, constantly drunk and very emotionally and verbally abusive. I've had problems my entire life, low self esteem, problems with relationships, problems with work, just name it. I have 2 sisters with a lot of problems. One of them was anorexic and almost died and she also used to cut herself. I still can't forgive my parents although I think it would be good for me if I could. My father has died, but I can barely stand to talk to my mother. I honestly can't wait for her to die although I understand that my problems won't be gone when she is gone.
alyson5
08-02-2008, 10:29 AM
I am fortunate to not have every struggled with hating my parents. I do struggle with unresolved grief for the lost of my childhood family and ptsd. I am 55 years old and am now just facing my childhood. I have struggled with depression and anxiety all my life. No one has ever recognized: my depression though. I guess I was just to good at wearing the "mask". I have been going through a 12 step study that has been very helpful. It has been very painful at the same time.I have just started seeing a therepist for the first time in my life. I have established a strong support team. :)