Pivly
07-10-2008, 10:32 AM
I'm not sure when mine started but it has been around at least since I was 4 or 5 years old (which is as far back as I can remember these feelings) which means it has been around for over 30 years.
At this point I don't know what is the anxiety and what is me. It has shaped my life, it is my life. I'm not where I want to be. I have not done anything. I never go out, I have no friends, only 3 relationships my whole life. There are so many things I want to do but have never done because I'm crippled.
Nothing I have done has worked to get rid of it. I have been working on it my entire life so I have tried many things. I can't even figure out where it comes from. It's not specific to anything (ie. I'm not thinking about it or anything in particular), it is just always there. At this point I know I can't continue like this but don't know what to do. I am not really depressed but I am broken.
I have never met or even known of another person that has had anxiety like this their whole life, let alone someone who managed to make life better. :confused:
At this point I don't know what is the anxiety and what is me. It has shaped my life, it is my life. I'm not where I want to be. I have not done anything. I never go out, I have no friends, only 3 relationships my whole life. There are so many things I want to do but have never done because I'm crippled.
Nothing I have done has worked to get rid of it. I have been working on it my entire life so I have tried many things. I can't even figure out where it comes from. It's not specific to anything (ie. I'm not thinking about it or anything in particular), it is just always there. At this point I know I can't continue like this but don't know what to do. I am not really depressed but I am broken.
I have never met or even known of another person that has had anxiety like this their whole life, let alone someone who managed to make life better. :confused:
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hotdam
07-10-2008, 01:38 PM
I know there are many people on this board that have had life long anxiety hopefully you will get a response, in the meantime we all understand how difficult this is whether it is life long or a few years either way it hurts. Are you taking anything for your anxiety? have you been to a Dr. recently? keep us posted we are here for you.;)
speck
07-10-2008, 04:36 PM
Your definatley not alone in the anxiety dept when it comes to having it all your life believe me!
Hotdam makes a good point.. Have you seen a DR recently as there has been many new ways of helping with anxiety introduced over the years ones that you may not have tried or that may help with a bit of support from the professionals.
Keep safe x
Hotdam makes a good point.. Have you seen a DR recently as there has been many new ways of helping with anxiety introduced over the years ones that you may not have tried or that may help with a bit of support from the professionals.
Keep safe x
pinkpixies
07-10-2008, 05:23 PM
I have had severe anxiety all my life...one of my first memories was being afraid to go to school at 4 years old and crying everyday for weeks when my mom left me there. I was always the "shy" and "quiet" girl in school...in elementary school kids would tease and asked if I was physically able to talk. At 12 years old...I was missing so much school and my parents took me to the doctor and my pulse was REALLY fast...and she thought something was wrong with my heart...I told her I was just nervous...but she did a lot of tests...all came back fine...and she never treated my anxiety...by 16 it was overwhelming.{REMOVED} Then I finally started getting treatment. Now, at 23...I've never worked...I dropped out of high school even though I alway did really well <BECAUSE> I couldn't handle being around all the other kids and I always thought they were going to attack me.
GatsbyLuvr1920
07-11-2008, 01:34 PM
I, too, have had life-long anxiety. I have Asperger's Syndrome, so that contributed to a lot of my childhood anxiety. I also have OCD, and I've had OCD symptoms/anxiety since age three. I have had full-blown pure obsessional OCD since age 11. As a child, my OCD waxed and waned (much as it does now), and it was mostly the fear of doing something wrong and checking to see if I did something wrong. I suffer from panic attacks (but not panic disorder), as well. I believe I've had panic attacks since age three, but I first can remember the feeling of a panic attack at age five. As others have said, anxiety is just an integral part of me, since I've had it ever since I can remember.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Pivly
07-11-2008, 04:40 PM
Hmm, I didn't realize there were so many others. I also may have Asperger's Syndrome but there isn't much I can do about that I don't think.
I would think there would be more information available. Stuff besides "exercise", "eat right", "work through the problem", "antidepressants", etc. All things I have tried or done for years and none help at all. In fact things like exercise make my anxiety attacks increase because it just adds stress to my already broken-down system. I am in pretty good shape physically in any case (I jog and do weight training; at least when the anxiety isn't already crushing me).
I have tried several SSRI antidepressants and had really bad results. They made me depressed, suicidal, hallucinations, etc. The only other drugs I have tried are anti-seizer/bipolar meds. They help a tiny bit with certain things but do nothing for the chronic anxiety and the very strong acute attacks like I get days before I have to do something stressful (eg. see the doctor or something). I have never tried the addictive drugs (Xanax, etc) because my doctor won't give them to me. I just learned about BusPar, I may ask him about that but I'm not getting my hopes up. Most of the meds I have tried just make my head feel fuzzy while my anxiety is in my chest/stomach area and never goes away.
I see people get help and get over depression, anxiety and other things like that but from what I have seen they are not "lifers". They are people that were normal, developed a problem and then fixed it to return to normal. I don't even know what normal is but I know my whole life feels like it has been wasted thus far.
My anxiety is free floating and doesn't seem to be tied to any specific thoughts so it's hard to even know what to try to fix. It's like in my head there is "me" and I'm wrapped by this broken shell of a body that holds me back.
I would think there would be more information available. Stuff besides "exercise", "eat right", "work through the problem", "antidepressants", etc. All things I have tried or done for years and none help at all. In fact things like exercise make my anxiety attacks increase because it just adds stress to my already broken-down system. I am in pretty good shape physically in any case (I jog and do weight training; at least when the anxiety isn't already crushing me).
I have tried several SSRI antidepressants and had really bad results. They made me depressed, suicidal, hallucinations, etc. The only other drugs I have tried are anti-seizer/bipolar meds. They help a tiny bit with certain things but do nothing for the chronic anxiety and the very strong acute attacks like I get days before I have to do something stressful (eg. see the doctor or something). I have never tried the addictive drugs (Xanax, etc) because my doctor won't give them to me. I just learned about BusPar, I may ask him about that but I'm not getting my hopes up. Most of the meds I have tried just make my head feel fuzzy while my anxiety is in my chest/stomach area and never goes away.
I see people get help and get over depression, anxiety and other things like that but from what I have seen they are not "lifers". They are people that were normal, developed a problem and then fixed it to return to normal. I don't even know what normal is but I know my whole life feels like it has been wasted thus far.
My anxiety is free floating and doesn't seem to be tied to any specific thoughts so it's hard to even know what to try to fix. It's like in my head there is "me" and I'm wrapped by this broken shell of a body that holds me back.
hotdam
07-11-2008, 04:45 PM
I can tell you one thing, your life is not a waste. by the way what really is normal anyway? We can all get through this for some it takes longer than others, lifers or not. We are on the same team. ;)
chris031181
07-11-2008, 04:48 PM
I can definately relate to you! I didn't realize I suffered from this until I was in 6th grade. It was such a big change from 5th grade elementary school to middle school, where you have your own lockers, and older kids..It was such a huge change for me so I faked like I was sick so I wouldnt have to go to school or my parents would have to pick me up because sometimes I would get physically sick on the days that I did go. I had to see the school counselor and a counselor outside of school. My self esteem has been awful since. I worked at a hospital a year ago and I had an anxiety attack once before I went in because I was so nervous. The doctor gave me some medication for a week to try out and it seemed to help but I haven't been back for it. It is a hard thing to deal with. Starting new things is one of the hardest things for me...I feel you!
GatsbyLuvr1920
07-11-2008, 08:53 PM
I, too, often have anxiety that I have no idea where it's coming from. My free-floating anxiety all has to deal with unpredictability and change, so every moment, I'm worried about something being "new" or "going wrong."
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Pivly
07-12-2008, 06:40 PM
You know, just yesterday I was thinking that could be the source of it for me too. It's the variations in life that are causing the anxiety and those "variations" are probably way more granular than what a regular person would think. It's partly a sensory integration issue also (unfamiliar sounds, smells, patterns, colors, etc). I honestly don't feel like a participant in this world (but I desperately want to).
So have you have anything that helps with that?
So have you have anything that helps with that?
confused80
07-13-2008, 06:13 AM
I, too, often have anxiety that I have no idea where it's coming from. My free-floating anxiety all has to deal with unpredictability and change, so every moment, I'm worried about something being "new" or "going wrong."
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Yeah, your feelings just about the same to me ...
ex : Maybe tonight I've an appointment with friend(no matter it's just simply out for dinner), Then my anxiety become floating after noon, pressure under my rib, short of breathness, feel bloated stomach etc ...
It will more relieves after taking Alprazolam. :mad:
I've been taken drug prescription from doctor for about 5months now. eg : Effexor 75mg.
Damn this Anxiety ...
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Yeah, your feelings just about the same to me ...
ex : Maybe tonight I've an appointment with friend(no matter it's just simply out for dinner), Then my anxiety become floating after noon, pressure under my rib, short of breathness, feel bloated stomach etc ...
It will more relieves after taking Alprazolam. :mad:
I've been taken drug prescription from doctor for about 5months now. eg : Effexor 75mg.
Damn this Anxiety ...
Pivly
07-13-2008, 09:56 AM
confused80, yes I know that too. I get exactly the same thing. Depending on what it is I'm doing I could start getting the anxiety like that days or even weeks in advance. And I think we're saying the same thing, it's not specific "racing" thoughts or anything (at least not with me) it's just anxiety without a source.
I'm curious, do you have a autistic spectrum disorder (or sensory disorder) as well? Have you always had this anxiety?
I'm curious, do you have a autistic spectrum disorder (or sensory disorder) as well? Have you always had this anxiety?
confused80
07-13-2008, 11:39 AM
Hi,
I'm not familiar with autistic spectrum disorder ... I'll look into it ...
But yes, my friend had this familiar symptoms too ... almost like mine, and many more, and I don't know where to start ... :(
I experiences anxiety about my health(cancer like lung), OCD, some doctor diagnosis me with hypochondriasis(because once I shorted breathe, or chest pain, or some physical feeling not up to par, I always go see doctor and take an x-ray and some tests etc ... sick of it though ...
Anxiety can lead to stomach problem right ? yeah, I always got hurt at my left rib under my heart ... heart palpitation, feel bloated, burp.
Sometime panic attack, feeling hard to breath, like something inside my throat(rarely happened). Relief after I take Xanax ...
My symptoms were little relief after I take Effexor at the first 3 month, but sometimes the feelings will come and go ...
Yeap, Anxiety sometimes without a source( but with my understanding, We thought we're ok, but it comes deep inside our mind unconsciously/uncontrollable. )
I'm not familiar with autistic spectrum disorder ... I'll look into it ...
But yes, my friend had this familiar symptoms too ... almost like mine, and many more, and I don't know where to start ... :(
I experiences anxiety about my health(cancer like lung), OCD, some doctor diagnosis me with hypochondriasis(because once I shorted breathe, or chest pain, or some physical feeling not up to par, I always go see doctor and take an x-ray and some tests etc ... sick of it though ...
Anxiety can lead to stomach problem right ? yeah, I always got hurt at my left rib under my heart ... heart palpitation, feel bloated, burp.
Sometime panic attack, feeling hard to breath, like something inside my throat(rarely happened). Relief after I take Xanax ...
My symptoms were little relief after I take Effexor at the first 3 month, but sometimes the feelings will come and go ...
Yeap, Anxiety sometimes without a source( but with my understanding, We thought we're ok, but it comes deep inside our mind unconsciously/uncontrollable. )