I'm starting to get obsessed with the whole HIV thing again. It's screwed up the past couple of years of my life, and I thought I was finally done with it...Now, I go out have a little fun one night, no sex (just receiving oral from a guy), some mutual masterbation (possibility of precum involved) and I'm flipping out again. I keep on running what happened through my head trying to come up with different scenarios, the worst I can think of is that some precum from his finger might have entered me...I finally went to a therapist but she thinks I have OCD and that I need meds and hypnotism...I know my risk is very low for HIV but I still think I have it, does anyone know of a good therapy that would work? I'm getting sick of this, it's starting to ruin my life...oh, and how low of a risk do I have? Sorry, I'm still ranting...Anywho, any suggestions you have please let me know.
Thanks,
Jen

i really don't have any answers for you, but noticed no one has replied to you so i thought i would. while it is unlikely you caught hiv, i'd get tested just to give myself some peace of mind. what i'm not understanding is is this a guy you've known, or one you just met? not trying to pry into your business, and you don't even need to answer, but just for you to think about after you read this post. 1st, if it is someone you've known that doesn't neccessarily mean you know all of his partners. while there was no actual intercourse (sometimes... chances are low, but can still happen) hiv, and other diseases (herpes) can be transitted through oral sex. now, like i said, as far as i've heard, chances are low (more possible with herpes, but low for hiv) it can still happen. 2nd if it was a guy you just met, i wouldn't make a habit of it. this is even riskier than knowing someone, because now you don't even have that to fall back on. you know absolutely nothing about this guy other than what he tells you..... which could be the truth, or could all be a lie. as i stated, while chances aren't that high, it is still possible to spread hiv through oral sex, but herpes can easily be spread through oral sex.... if the person is infected of course. for your own sanity i'd get tested anyway. its not hurting you or anyone else, and it will give you peace of mind. if i was you though, i'd just be more careful next time. i'm not saying seclude yourself and never interact with anyone again, but just be careful. make sure you protect yourself. as for ocd, i would get on meds if thats what you have. my mom suffers from ocd and without her meds she is a reck. i wish you the best and i hope everything works out for you. i will keep you in my prayers, and tak care. God bless! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

sorry i couldn't be more of a help http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

Hi, Thanks for replying. My doctor put me on Paxil and said that should help. He also said I have absolutely no risk of HIV, but I still think I'll get it. I'm not worried about receiving Oral Sex, just because I know the the quantity of HIV in saliva is extremely low, and CDC has never seen a case of it yet. But I'm just worried about the precum on his finger and then if he was to finger me. I know my doctor said HIV is really fragile, but if it's in the air for a couple seconds and then is in me, is that a risk? How much quantity of HIV is in precum? I know there is a lot in semen, breast milk, vaginal fluids and blood, but I don't know about precum.
Jen

Hi, Thanks for replying. My doctor put me on Paxil and said that should help. He also said I have absolutely no risk of HIV, but I still think I'll get it. I'm not worried about receiving Oral Sex, just because I know the the quantity of HIV in saliva is extremely low, and CDC has never seen a case of it yet. But I'm just worried about the precum on his finger and then if he was to finger me. I know my doctor said HIV is really fragile, but if it's in the air for a couple seconds and then is in me, is that a risk? How much quantity of HIV is in precum? I know there is a lot in semen, breast milk, vaginal fluids and blood, but I don't know about precum.
Jen

yeah, i'm not sure either. i wasn't thinking about you recieving.... i was just thinking of oral, like both of you recieving. sorry, i must have misread it, i've had alot on my mind lately. i am glad they have put you on meds, i'm hoping to get on some soon too. depression is hell. i'm glad you are doing better, and i would stop worrying so much. by the sounds of what happened, you didn't do enough to catch the flu if this guy had it (joking) but seriously doesn't sound real harmful. just always take care of yourself, ad i'll keep you in my prayers. God bless!

Why can't I see any replies????
Jen

Thanks so much for replying...
I was put on Paxil and it still won't kick in for another few weeks. What I did with this guy was something I used to do quite often and not worry, I'm not sure what this is all about now...I'm going to see about counselling too, but it's so expensive.
Jen

Jen,

Don't worry about HIV. It seems to me that your fear of the disease is MUCH greater than your actual risk.

Making out, kissing, mutual masturbation, sex with condoms etc. are all pretty safe activities. I've dealt with the fear of the disease for years. I've always tested negative, and have only had one or two experiences that carried anything more than a theoretical risk.

Seeing a therapist is expensive, but it can be worth it. I was so afraid that I had HIV that I stopped having sex with a girlfriend, she put up with it for a while, but finally left and married someone else. After therapy and a couple of HIV tests I felt better.

My advice, call around and see if you can find a therapist. If you need support to take the HIV test write back and I'm sure others here can help.

In the meantime, don't worry about what you did. It sounds like you had a fun - SAFE - time.

Jimbo

Hey, thanks for the reply. I've taken I'm sure 10 HIV tests in the past couple of years...I was just put on Paxil by my doctor so I'm hoping that will help. I don't have any anxiety about taking the test, it's when I find out I"m positive, then I'm screwed.
Jen