abby1998
07-24-2008, 02:13 PM
A spot in daycare has just come up for my 16 month old son. I was going to go back to school, but I would also have to work part time in order to keep up with the bills. His dad works long hours and isnt really around much so my sons life would pretty much consist of other people raising him as I would only be around first thing in the morning and nights when he would already be asleep. I know that I need to try to get ahead in life with schooling but I'm not sure if sacrificing all time with my baby is worth it. My husband is in the process of completing college so its not like we are getting no where. I need some opinions on this please :confused:
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LauraLu
07-24-2008, 02:54 PM
To me, it sounds like a great opportunity to better yourself. If you keep telling yourself that you're going to go back to school, will you? It's very difficult, especially with a child.
How long would he be in daycare each day? Are there any days that you would be able to be with him? Have you done all the math (as far as bills/college/daycare is concerned)?
I always said that I never wanted to put my daughter in daycare, and I don't have to because my mom watches her. However, I also understand that not everyone has it that easy. You really do need to worry about yourself. Your son will respect you tremendously for taking a great pride in your own education. You know that it will pay off in the long run.
If I were you, I would say GO FOR IT!!! And good luck with school!
How long would he be in daycare each day? Are there any days that you would be able to be with him? Have you done all the math (as far as bills/college/daycare is concerned)?
I always said that I never wanted to put my daughter in daycare, and I don't have to because my mom watches her. However, I also understand that not everyone has it that easy. You really do need to worry about yourself. Your son will respect you tremendously for taking a great pride in your own education. You know that it will pay off in the long run.
If I were you, I would say GO FOR IT!!! And good luck with school!
abby1998
07-24-2008, 04:21 PM
He would be in daycare from 7 30 - 4 00 monday to friday, then afterwards I would have to drop him off at a babysitters so that I can go to work probably 3-4 evenings a week. Child care will be mostly payed for by the governent.
On the weekends I will probably also have to work. SO i really wouldnt see him that much. I have been home with him from day one, and I know it will break my heart but I really think it will break his too. I am also worried that my busy stressfull schedual will take a toll on my ability to be a good parent....I just really want whats best for my son:(
On the weekends I will probably also have to work. SO i really wouldnt see him that much. I have been home with him from day one, and I know it will break my heart but I really think it will break his too. I am also worried that my busy stressfull schedual will take a toll on my ability to be a good parent....I just really want whats best for my son:(
LauraLu
07-24-2008, 06:01 PM
You know what ~ then maybe you're just not ready, and there's nothing wrong with that! If you need extra time, take it. He'll never be this little again. I completely understand that you wouldn't want to be away from your son for so long - I couldn't do it either. Physically and emotionally it would get exhausting. I do have a lot of respect for you though as far as school is concerned. It's not easy to get through college when you don't have kids, and I'm getting ready for my masters soon with a 12 month old...It's one of those all time great dilemas.
What does your husband think about the situation?
What does your husband think about the situation?
abby1998
07-24-2008, 07:25 PM
Wow, congrats on going for your masters! I have alot of respect for you and anyone else who goes through school with a baby. I would be starting back in high school so my education path definately seems like a long one.
I really dont feel like me or my son are ready for such a drastic chaotic scehdual and seperation. Everybody is pushing me to do it, including my husband but I just dont think they truly understand the physical, emotional or mental toll it would take on us. Especially since we dont have a vehicle so I would be bussing around from daycare to school to daycare to babysitter to work to babysitter to home. I dont think my son would enjoy that every day! I think your right...maybe im just not ready right now.
I really dont feel like me or my son are ready for such a drastic chaotic scehdual and seperation. Everybody is pushing me to do it, including my husband but I just dont think they truly understand the physical, emotional or mental toll it would take on us. Especially since we dont have a vehicle so I would be bussing around from daycare to school to daycare to babysitter to work to babysitter to home. I dont think my son would enjoy that every day! I think your right...maybe im just not ready right now.
AlexaIn2006
07-25-2008, 01:56 AM
My opinion is that you need to stay home to raise your son. That is a long, long time to sit in daycare. Babies need to be at home with their mothers and there is nothing that should keep you apart. Your child doesn't really car how much schooling you have or how ahead you are in life, they just need their parents. One alternative you may consider is going to college through online classes, then at least you can be home and log on and off throughout the day. It has become acceptable for many children to go to daycare and I find many people will pressure you to accept this. Stay home where you are the one changing your child's diaper, instilling your morales, values in him and you be the one to teach him how to intereact with children, learning, etc. I take my classes online one by one. I have plenty of time and I am in no hurry. I will save the in campus classes for when my daughter starts Kindergarten and after as long as it doesn't interupt me picking her up and taking her to school. The children and the quality of time is the priorty in my opinion, everything else is secondary. I will go with less stuff, more homecooked meals, one less vehicle, whatever it takes to stay home and be here for her. Look into the online classes......let me know what you decide. Best of luck to you! :)
Brooke85
07-25-2008, 05:12 PM
The online classes are wonderful!!! You said you are finishing high school, I know around where I live they have a "home-link" program where high schoolers got their diplomas online. Also, most colleges are offering a good variety of online courses. I just completed my Associates degree and I have 2 babies. I was able to do it because of the online classes. It took me a lot longer, but it IS possible to do it with children:) I am actually looking into a Bachelor's program where most of my courses can be done online. I will put off the campus ones as long as possible! Even if you have to do a few campus courses an hour or two a day, daycare isn't a horrible thing! Sometimes we have to do what we have to do as parents. Of course, you're the only one who can make the decision and only you & your husband knows what's best.
abby1998
07-25-2008, 08:32 PM
Online classes sound like a great option. The adult high school around here doesnt have online classes but they do have workbooks that you fill out and hand in. However the online thing sounds like a better fit. Do you have to pay for these? If so how much?
I am sooo sick of everyone making me feel like a bad person because I am trying to look out for my sons best interests (and 13 hours a day away from home and me, with a stressed out crazy mom is not in them!!) grrr!!
I am sooo sick of everyone making me feel like a bad person because I am trying to look out for my sons best interests (and 13 hours a day away from home and me, with a stressed out crazy mom is not in them!!) grrr!!
Brooke85
07-26-2008, 03:03 AM
I know it's hard not to let your guilt get the best of you. We all have our own opinions on what is right when it comes to staying home or working, but we are the only ones who know what's best for our own families. I've been told there is no right or wrong decision, just what works best for you & your family:) I hope you are able to come to a decision you are satisfied with.
Oh, and with the online college courses...the school I went to they charged tuition the same way as a regular campus class. You still buy the book for the class and I thinl there is a small fee tacked on for it being online...usually about $5/credit...but the convenience is SO worth it! You can also apply for financial aid which helps a ton if you are eligible! I don't know what I would jave done without it. Anyways, I'm getting off the subject of infants...I just wanted to encourage you to do what makes you happy. Even if you decide to wait another year or two, that's ok, too! You might feel less guilty once your son goes to Preschool or Kindergarten. I always tell myself that (as a parent), I need to do what makes me happy sometimes or I will be an unhappy, bad mom.
Oh, and with the online college courses...the school I went to they charged tuition the same way as a regular campus class. You still buy the book for the class and I thinl there is a small fee tacked on for it being online...usually about $5/credit...but the convenience is SO worth it! You can also apply for financial aid which helps a ton if you are eligible! I don't know what I would jave done without it. Anyways, I'm getting off the subject of infants...I just wanted to encourage you to do what makes you happy. Even if you decide to wait another year or two, that's ok, too! You might feel less guilty once your son goes to Preschool or Kindergarten. I always tell myself that (as a parent), I need to do what makes me happy sometimes or I will be an unhappy, bad mom.