im-so-sad
05-15-2003, 01:08 PM
What a long 3 months this has been, i wish i could just put it all behind me and forget about it.
On January 25, 2003 I did the most stupid thing ever, I was out with a friend having a few drinks. She uses drugs, speed, the only thing i know of, anyways I snorted a few lines with her that night, me my first time ever doing that. I dont know what i was thinking 2 days after i came to my senses I relised what i did was sooo wrong, i cried and cried. My friends boyfriend has Hep C and I dont know if he is HIV+ so now im really worked up thinking i got something, my friend told me a few weeks prior to my incident, that she thinks she dying cause all she does is sleep 24/7 she said, i told her to go and get tested, but she never did. Well i never talked to her after my incident. My boyfriend saw her a few weeks ago, in a not so great part of town, he said she was sooo skinny and scratching, her eyes were bulging out of her head, when he told me this i felt so sick to my stomach. I was her best friend I helped so many times and now i feel so bad she hit rock bottom, she has 2 kids that have been in foster care since November2002, I have a family of my own and my heart breaks thinking I might have something. I feel fine i have really bad anxiety,I cant sleep i wake at all hours of the night, my bowels are screwed up diareha on and off, that triggers my anxiety bad, cause i keep wondering why i get diareha, must be HIV, so i cry and cry, my doctor put me on Effexor XR 37.5mg but i couldnt even watch my kids after taking that medication, i just felt like a zombie. I tested negative at 9 weeks for HIV and Hep C, is that a good sign?? i sure hope so. I just was tested again at 14 weeks, i get my results tomorrow afternoon.
kara
On January 25, 2003 I did the most stupid thing ever, I was out with a friend having a few drinks. She uses drugs, speed, the only thing i know of, anyways I snorted a few lines with her that night, me my first time ever doing that. I dont know what i was thinking 2 days after i came to my senses I relised what i did was sooo wrong, i cried and cried. My friends boyfriend has Hep C and I dont know if he is HIV+ so now im really worked up thinking i got something, my friend told me a few weeks prior to my incident, that she thinks she dying cause all she does is sleep 24/7 she said, i told her to go and get tested, but she never did. Well i never talked to her after my incident. My boyfriend saw her a few weeks ago, in a not so great part of town, he said she was sooo skinny and scratching, her eyes were bulging out of her head, when he told me this i felt so sick to my stomach. I was her best friend I helped so many times and now i feel so bad she hit rock bottom, she has 2 kids that have been in foster care since November2002, I have a family of my own and my heart breaks thinking I might have something. I feel fine i have really bad anxiety,I cant sleep i wake at all hours of the night, my bowels are screwed up diareha on and off, that triggers my anxiety bad, cause i keep wondering why i get diareha, must be HIV, so i cry and cry, my doctor put me on Effexor XR 37.5mg but i couldnt even watch my kids after taking that medication, i just felt like a zombie. I tested negative at 9 weeks for HIV and Hep C, is that a good sign?? i sure hope so. I just was tested again at 14 weeks, i get my results tomorrow afternoon.
kara