I am a guy who had unprotected sex for the first time in my life a few nights ago with an African-American woman (she is 21). I don't know this girl, and I am deathly afraid to have gotten something from her. (I bring up her race ONLY because I've learned that HIV amongst African-American women has sharply increased. I have no idea if her race is relevant.)

Some details; I don't know how much they matter, but I want to be as thorough as possible:

I was very, very drunk, so I didn't get as hard as usual, and the few times I was inside of her I didn't stay inside long. (My penis kept coming out.) (Sorry to be so graphic.) I never came close to ejaculating -- I don't know if that makes a difference. There was no real hard thrusting, but my penis was a little irritated the next day... but not much more than when I masturbate, and there were no visible cuts. I was probably inside of her for a total time of one minute, but maybe less. I do not think she was mensturating -- it would be pretty obvious if she had been, wouldn't it?

She also put her finger in my anus a few times. I have no idea if anything can be transmitted this way, but my ass has been sore ever since. (And please note, I'm not joking or trying to be crude.) I know the mucous membranes in the anus are receptive to viruses, so I'm concerned about something happening from this behavior. There was no bleeding, as far as my know, and my stool the next day had no visible blood in it.

I am very afraid that I got something from her. I've gotten no sleep the past few days, and I'm having thoughts of death. I'm not suicidal, but I'm already envisioning a life with HIV, and as people here know, that's frightening. I talked to this girl the next day and she told me she was tested in May (and was clean), but I'm not sure I believe her. She was a bit unconvincing on the phone, but there were family members of hers milling about in the background, so she might've been unable to answer me thoroughly.

I am going to get tested as soon as the time has elapsed (for all STDs; not just HIV), but I hope someone can give me some advice, insight, encouragement, or information as to my risks. I can still talk to this girl, so I'd also appreciate any advice on follow-up questions I could possibly ask her. I am way too afraid to talk to any of my friends or family about this.

Thanks for reading,
Joe

joe - i have placed an answer on your other message

her last test is very encouraging, not every1 has hiv u know, most people don't, if u want to throw away all the race and sexuality numbers, 1/300 people have it.
if she does have it, your risk is estimated to be 1/8000.
get tested at 13 weeks and keep us posted.
if you cant wait that longer a negative pcr at 28 or more days is very good sign.
most people seroconvert from 4-6 weeks, so try a 6 week test.