i have recently thought i have ADD.

as a kid i was bright and good at everything. i could have moments though that i dazed out, like i would be so into something i wouldnt hear someone talking to me. In year 5 i noticed i lacked concentration. the teacher could tell us a story and i would daze out,before i knew it she had finished, and i hadnt a clue what the story was! I wouldn't bring things to class that i was meant to bring, but i had no clue/memory of being specifically told to bring them.

during GCSE i couldnt concentrate during class, i would daze out, and then when a teacher asked me a question about what they had just been talking about i had no idea. I taught everything to myself at home, in my own time. if anyone tried to explain things to me i couldnt concentrate, i had to have my own time to figure it out. i had to have my own time, time that i could concentrate in. when my head feels fuzzed, i need a couple of hours out to unfuz it, then i can again only concentrate for about 20 mins or so before it is fuzzed again.

at a level it was so hard. i couldnt cope with the work load, learning it all myself at home, its as though classes were a waste of time, as i either dazed out, or just couldnt understand it. I had to have hours understanding it myself. I was hopeless at reading things, if we were told to read something in class to ourselves i never had time to finish reading before the teacher moved on talking about it. I was always the last person to understand something. It always takes me ages to understand something, to learn something, to learn a routine, to learn to make something,etc. i am so slow.

if i travel in a car with someone i have no idea how i got to the destination i just faze out. if we went back the same route i wouldnt recognise anywhere.
sometimes when i cross a road i can cross out right in front of a car! i am so not with it! i do things all the time with no recolition that i have done them. Wheni used to work i borrowed my m8s locker key, and i left it in the toilets. i suddenly thought what i had done with it, if i had given it back to her like i was meant to, or if i still had it somewhere, or where it was, i had no idea.

i get tired easily and have trouble sleeping all the time. i just cant sleep till the very early hours most nights. i have no job at the moment due to suffering depression. But i feel i cant really get a job anyway either unless it is something easy as i just can't concentrate. Im just out of it all the time. theres only the odd occasion that i feel awake and alert. its a nightmare to be honest, if i have a job i never keep up, never know whats going on when i am meant to!

things i think of after i will edit and add.

i never finish anything. i have a started uni twice but cant concentrate. i could put my first essay together for the first course i tried, i had all the info all over the floor, but couldnt put it together. the 2nd course i was so much slower then everyone else, took me so long to get things, i couldnt concentrate actually on learning anything. someone could show me something and i would have no idea how to then do it myself. the tutor said i had difficulties getting things, that it took me a long time. When i waitressed also when i was 17, the manager said i had difficulties getting things, and it took me longer to get things then others. and yup i know this.

if i so start something i never finish it. i.e if i start a picture, i wont finish it.

also i cannot relax. i cant sit down and watch a tv program, i have to be doing more things, i.e i have to be on my laptop at the same time, i am too figedty.

i have recently been on prozac for depression, however i have come off on my own accord and know i need go docs really. I was scared as i do have ups and downs. my ups i am hyper, i have a racing, rushing feeling, i cant sit still, i want to jump up and down, there's no way i can concentrate. my mind is HYPER. i cant stop talking. when im down im too down to concentrate. all i want to do is sleep. i know this is a different issue now. it just loggs in with the concentration thing a little, but in general whatever mood i am in i cant concentrate, im not really there, im in my own little world.