I want to lose weight, but with the way my mom treats me I only end up gaining. She keeps telling me now that i'm not overweight anymore, I'm obese. I don't think I am, but she could just be being mean like she is usually when it comes to my weight.
She's always been perfect, so she wants me to be perfect. But when I was in 1st grade and she saw I weighed 88 pounds, she started telling me i'm fat and need to be thin. So i started worrying and it hasn't helped.
Now i'm 14, 5 foot 6 and weigh about 180 pounds. She makes me feel so horrible about it too. Every week she drags me into the bathroom and makes me step on the scale. As soon as it settles on a number she checks it with last weeks, and if it went up she just gets so mad. "176! Last week you weighed 175! How can you gain weight?! You're already fat enough as it is!" And if i try to argue with her she gets more mad. I wish she would be supportive, then it would be easier to lose some weight and make her happy. Sometime she'll put me in front of a mirror and make me take off my shirt so I can see all my stupid fat. She'll poke at it to show me how soft it is and if I complain she'll make me jump up and down so i can see it jiggle. I hate it so much. Why does she have to do that? "Look at that stomach of yours! Should you jiggle like that? No! No one should have such a huge stomach! You eat so much junk and look where it all goes! As more fat into that already fat stomach!" Then she'll turn me to the side and show me how it hangs. It's so awful how I feel when she does this. i wouldn't feel this way if she was supportive. The worst thing ever was when we were at my school and i was talking to one of my friends and she came up to us and was like. "Look, look at her. So thin and cute. And you, so fat. Why don't you look like her and not have a huge blob haning off your stomach?" I was so embarassed. Right now as i sit here i feel so fat. I can feel it and when i lift up my shirt i see the 3 rolls. When i'm standing i don't really have any rolls, well, almost one. My jeans are getting too tight again. I need new ones, bigger ones, but then she'll get mad. The ones i have pop open all the time and i have to button them away from everyone because i have to suck in my stomach so much and squeeze so much to get them to button. I hate this life! I want to lose weight and make her happy but she makes it so hard!

Is there anywhere else you can go? Your mom is verbally abusive towards you and you really need to get out of there. Berating you about your weight is wrong, wrong, wrong.

By the way, your BMI is 27.4, which puts you in the range for overweight, not obese.

blue, sorry to hear about all the abuse you have to go through. My niece last year was 11 years old and 5'8" and 180 lbs. She was so upset by the way she looked that her mom took her to see a doctor to find out why she was like this. She found out that she had Hypothyroidism. This is where your thyroid is not working right which slows down your metabolism and you gain weight and have a hard time losing it. Talk to your mom about this and have her take you to see a doctor and have some tests done to see if that could be the problem with why you gain weight. They can prescribe medication to help control your thyroid.
I hope your mom listens and takes you to see a doctor.
Take care and let me know what happens.
Mandee

I'm so sorry to hear your story. My 14 yr old son is 5'7" and 271bs. I have said some not so nice things to him about it, I'm not proud of it either. I'm so worried about him that I lash out in anger over the way that i and the public see's him. He look's like a line backer for the highschool football team, but he's been falling lately. Him being this over weight has caused him to feel fatigued, joints and backaches all the time as well as foot and knee problems. I've tried to be suportive and now we are going to start swimming together. My point is: I support him.

If you can print this, please, let your mother look at it........ she needs to know that she's hurting you very deeply..enough so that you may become a different person if she continues with this verbal abuse. Because that's what it is..verbal abuse. Ask mom if she can help you by preparing meals that are healthy and nutritious....as well as walking with you or taking the initiative to help you help yourself. Also, do have your thyroid tested.....
another thing...........you didn't get to be 88 lbs in the first grade without some help from your living situation. Your mother should have noticed and took you to a dr........she's the parent and your the child.
keep us updated........ I'm very interested to see what happens with you.

I felt like crying when I read your post. I have
two dauthers and they are both overweight actually
obese and I' going to tell you they'd be estatic to
weigh only 180 pounds. They both weigh around 280
pounds. I really against telling another parent how
to raise their child except when it comes to abuse, which I feel is a two way street. I can only hope if I'm abusing my child without realizing it some other mother would bring it to my attention. Yes I've told
both my dauthers time and time again they need to
cut back on the snacks etc, but it was like a knife
in my heart watching the expression on their face
and the hurt in their eyes and I didn't even call them
fat. I would so love to see them slimmer because I
know it bothers them to be heavy and I hurt for them.
Maybe your mothers means well but the manner she's
using is abusive. Someone else suggested your Mom read
your post and the responses you received. As a mother
that also knows how much it hurts to watch their child
suffer the consequences of being overweight, I can only
believe your Mom wants the best for you but doesn't
realize her manner and approach is not only hurting
you but complicatiing the problem. If her intention
is truely to help you and she reads your posting her heart will guide her in the right direction, if it doesn't then you should talk to another adult about what's occuring until someone takes some steps to help you. A school counselor, teacher, aunt, uncle, grand parent etc. I know as a mother, there has been times I've wanted my daughters to succeed in life so desperately I ended up emotionally scaring them or hurting them without realizing it. Dear, NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE is perfect, we all have our imperfections some on the outside, some in their hearts, some in other ways. What matters is accepting each other as they are, cause the only one we can EVER change is OURSELVES!!! I truely wish you & your Mother a renewed relationship. Being a teen is just
as hard for the teen as it is for the parent. : )
Best wishes to both of you this New Year!!!

First of all, I think your mom needs a little guidance in the support department. I was reading your story about how your mom makes you look at yourself while she says those things, and I think that is inappropriate. No one should make you do that or talk to you in that way.

Second, ask your mother to HELP you with a diet rather than critize you when you gain another pain. Explain to her how you need her support before you can help yourself. I, too, have a mom like that (who calls me names, etc.) and it DOES NOT help. Just hang in there, and try your best.

Hi, Blue-Cool. After reading your post,a nd the responses you got (which were very good) I will add my two cents worth. You have got to reach deep inside yourself, and try to over-come the way your mother treats you. This will be so hard to do, for children are products of how they are raised. But I believe it is possible; if you can step back and really understand that the way your mother treats you is wrong. It almost sounds to me like she wants you to be crippled. She is NOT perfect, believe me. I can see a big fault in her from where I sit. If she were perfect, she would be making you feel GOOD about yourself. Somehow, you're going to HAVE to tune her out; do what is best for you. I feel for you, for bad parenting leaves lasting scars. Maybe she means well...but please, do what you need to do, to be happy. Some parents live through their children. You have to become your own person...do what is right for YOU. I wish you all the best; a happy life! Deb