I was wondering if anyone might have any ideas to help my son. He is 9 and over 200 pounds. I have tried diets and excercise and I am really scared for him as nothing seems to work

Hi copygirl13 http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

I'm sorry about your son's weight problem. It must be very scary for you for him to be that weight at that age (or maybe he is really tall also?). I'm sure you have tried lots of different things already. And I'm no expert on this. My only experience in this area is that I raised a son myself. He didn't have a weight problem but we did have other issues that I had to try and change his behavior on, so maybe my past experience contains something that can help you (and maybe not). Take anything you think you can use and throw away the rest.

Obviously the idea in weight loss is to burn more calories than you take in. In terms of accomplishing this it might be helpful to know your son's personality/temperment type. For example, does your son "recharge his batteries" or "get energy" from being around people or from spending time alone? If
he gets energy from being around people and interacting with them then find a physical activity that incorporates being with a lot of other people and verbally interacting with them. Team sports or groups activities might be most helpful. Volleyball or even something like a bowling league would get him up and moving. If he is drained by being with people and interacting with them, then find a physical activity that he can do alone. Swimming is good for people who like to be alone to recharge their energy. I'm guessing if he is nine y.o. and 200 lbs. then you need to go slow and do low impact stuff at first?

Other personality characteristics to consider in choosing exercise activities is competiveness vs. cooperativeness. Does he prefer to compete with other people when playing games or mastering a new activity or does he prefer just to compete with himself? If he likes to compete with others then you will need to find a sport or activity where he can do that. If he prefers to compete with himself to improve his performance then he won't be happy with being made to compete with others.

Another thing to consider: does your son prefer things to be structured with lots of rules (is he a by the rules person) or does he like things to be open-ended, unstructured, few rules, etc. If he prefers structure then a sport or activity with lots of structure will hold his attention better. Structured activities would be things like baseball, soccer, football, martial arts, etc. Activities that are not structured are things like inline skating, skateboarding, playing hackesack, frisbee, etc.

So you need to figure out what his preferences are:

1) Activities that allow him to interact with others or activities he can do alone
2) Activities where he competes with himself or activities where he competes with others
3) Activities that are structured with lots of rules or activities that are open-ended, unstructured and have few rules or where you can make up the rules yourself

Then once you figure out what his three preferences are, find an activity (preferably several activities) that fit all three of his preferences at once. For example, my son liked activities he could do alone, liked to compete with himself and liked things to be unstructured and open-ended. He gravitated to skateboarding and that became his passion for about 5 years. It kept him fit, kept him from being bored with life throughout his adolescent years and altogether was nothing but positive for him. I tried for years to interest him in other sports; peewee football, soccer, lacrosse, etc., etc. He would play them for one season and quit. They did not interest him (even though he was quite athletic) because they were not a "good fit" for his personality.

The main thing is to get your son moving. Don't let him sit in front of a computer, TV, or video game for more than 1-2 hours a day at most. He needs to be on his feet and doing things--maybe doing them slowly and in a low impact fashion at first--but moving somehow.

Good luck copygirl http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif Raising children is a tough job, I hope maybe something I've shared will be a help to you.

God bless
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif
Kim


[This message has been edited by kvanrijn (edited 02-02-2003).]

Thnkyou for your input - as an fyi he is 5'2"... I speedwalk when the weather is good and have gotten him to bike ride while I do so. He is an off to himself type, because of the critisism he encounters with others he really stays away when it comes to activities.

This has played havoc on his self-esteem which is why he sticks close to Mom and not many others. Even his sister uses words words to stick him in the heart.

Genetically he gets it from both sides. My father died ogf complications of diabetes when he was 40 and was a big man himself (6'2 350 lbs healthy). Hid father side is no different, the majority of the family is well over 300 lbs. I have to wonder if there is a genetic trait that making this harder. Raised in a household with a severe diabetic I know the dos and don'ts of what to put in his mouth.

I believe that heigghtening his self esteem is a major key in helping him. Currently, I put him on a "mom-made" program" - 16 ounces of water prior every meal. I try to keep his water intake up to at least 1/2 an ounce per pound. He is to weigh himself every morning that way we can tell if the previous day did any damage in weight gain. As well, he is offered incentives. For the first 10 lbs he loses he will get a 1:64 scale truck (he loves trucks). I thought the first 10 lbs would be easy cause usu. at first the weight falls off and plan to restructer the rewards as the weight comes off so that the goals are not to hard to achieve.

We've been at this point for a month - he lost 7 and put back on 3. I wish spring would get here so we can start the morning routine of walking/bike riding to speed up his metabloism.

Once again - thanx - and if anyone has more ideas please let me know - I don't want to lose my son as I did my Dad.

Have you spoken with your son's pediatrician? What a dietician that specializes in children? I actually think its a mistake to put your child on a "diet" at such a young age. How is ever going to learn normal eating behavior and to control his weight if he's trying different diets. Don't introduce him to the dieting mentality!

if you feel like your son's diet is unhealthy its probably true for the whole family and you should start making family-wide changes to make you ALL healthier!

I don't feel his diet is unhealthy - I feel his portions are out of control... he eats when he gets bored... he eats when he doesn't feel good about himself .... he eats because of Psycological issues.

He can control what he puts in his mouth ... that's been proven. I can not always control what goes in his mouth, as I am not home al the time to do so. This is why I put him on the take charge kind of attitude. Ultimately he is in control.

There is no "junk food" kept in my home. I feel like taken great legnths to try and help him control this... you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

If there are psychological issues, they need to be addressed. Nine years old is VERY young to have a food addiction and it will only get worse. Have his thyroid checked, get him tested for depression etc. I agree with Chelle that dieting at nine is harsh. I went through trying to put my six year old on a "diet" for different reasons and he became obsessive compulsive about food. Fortunately, we are over that hump.

Copygirl13,

Is it possible your son has a medical condition making it hard for him to lose weight like a hypothyroidism?

I wouldn't recommend your son weigh himself every day. Weight can fluctuate a great deal from day to day. Just because it may show a weight gain of a pound doesn't necessarily mean he blew his diet. This might prove to be depressing for him not to mention making him "obsess" about the scales.

Cheri.

Firstly I would like to agree with Creinha (aka Cheri), she is completely right in your son should not weigh himself daily, it is a terrible habit because it causes obsession and constant disappointment.

I guess my post is not so much advice but as a sharing of my experience. I when I was about 7-8 y/o, I was started to be put on diets and at first they had limited effectiveness if I followed a rigid plan but failed when my mom broke that plan (she was trying to do something similar as well and in that, allowing me to break the plan). Children really do look up to their parents at that age for advice and guidance and how they should behave. How do you eat? what times do you eat? eating too late is really hard on the system and really packs on the lbs, particularly since we have no activity in the evening. Kiddies just watch Tv or play on computer in those late hours (relative since they're kids! lol).

The pattern of dieting stuck for about 10 years and for me, that just gave me a yoyo diet effect and my body became adapted to losing gaining lots of weight very quickly. For example now I can gain and lose 20 in about 2 weeks (it's happened more than I'd like heh). The other effect being that I my esteem was shot, I ate emotionally and I didn't know what I was eating really. I am really not sure how to effectively explain to a child how it really doesn't matter what others think and that they really are worthwhile.

I do think something that might be effective is doing your researching into foods, habits and their respective benefits and illnesses. It's not just saying it's bad for you and you can't eat that, it's teaching them what foods do to them and why they should eat certain things. Children especially teenagers think they're invulnerable, they're not, and we know that. But! do not let your child obssess about weight, don't let a physical feature rule his life like that...you are worried about his health but I think he'll be worried about he looks (because of the teasing and whatnot).

Since you think (and are probably right) that most your child's issues are psychologically related, take him to see a counsellor. There is no shame in it and he probably does need someone to talk about these things, although you may need to try a few before he opens up any (confidence issues become shameful).

As for the exercise in winter time, as odd as this may sound, but go to a gym with your son., I'm sure there are exercise programs for children supported by gyms, walk around in gym or if allowed go on treadmill. We're not talking anything seriously physical, more aerobic exercises (no weight training obviously). There are classes for children, see if maybe he would like to take a martial art (this particularly helps, it gets you comfortable using your body).

Most of the guidance for your son on your part is behind the scenes, don't hound, don't pressure, just guide best you can.

Best wishes for you and your son,

Paul

Hi copygirl: have you ever done any research on candida or yeast infestation? It can make a person crave exactly the wrong kind of foods, the kind that make a person gain weight and overeat. Check it out. The culprits are sugar/white flour, msg, nutrasweet/asparatame and of course yeast (breads, cheeses, etc.). If your son is already predisposed via heredity and especially if he may have had many antibiotics are a young child because the antibiotics knock out the beneficial bacteria in the colon and allow the yeast in the color to overgrow. After that the yeast can infiltrate every part of the body and it makes a person crave all the junk I just mentioned which causes overweight along with a bunch of other terrible conditions/symptoms. Let me know what you think.