maybecrazy
09-15-2008, 09:50 PM
Is there anyone here with PTSD who has self harmed? I cut my arm a while ago after a flashback that seemed like it would never end - it happened more than once - I told my psychologist about it - (hid the marks) - it was a long time after it had happened - and after that initial month or so I havnt done it again - so that's a win - but I still get the feeling ...... it's hard to say... I am ashamed that I cut my arm because it's not a good way to cope - and I feel like that is another way I have failed and the guy that attacked me has won - but that's the past. (although sometimes it feels like the present and the future- but I won't let it be) My question is does the urge ever go away? I distract myself by doing things when the feeling comes on - but ... it still comes back when i'm upset.
I guess I'm looking for some re-assurance that there will be an end to this, I can fight but I don't know for how long, I guess, as long as it takes
MBC
I guess I'm looking for some re-assurance that there will be an end to this, I can fight but I don't know for how long, I guess, as long as it takes
MBC
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LadyItalian
09-16-2008, 10:47 PM
I know I have been dealing with this for about 10 years. I don't "cut" myself, but deal with other issues similar. The desires have not gone away, sometimes they are "better" but I don't know if they ever go away.
maybecrazy
09-17-2008, 11:49 PM
Thanks Ladyitalian,
Not the answer I was hoping for -guess I'm always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel instead of thinking the tunnel goes on forever, but I thank you for your honesty.
Take Care
MBC
Not the answer I was hoping for -guess I'm always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel instead of thinking the tunnel goes on forever, but I thank you for your honesty.
Take Care
MBC
LadyItalian
09-18-2008, 10:45 PM
Sorry, just being honest. But I havn't fully dealth with all my "stuff" and I've been in a mild depression since going through went I went through. But with the right attitude, lifestyle and support I do believe you can totally get over it, I just wanted to make the point that time itself will not necessarily heal this wound. But the fact that you're on here talking about it is a big step.
littlesadone
09-18-2008, 11:34 PM
I deal with it and it has gotten better after years of counseling and working at it. I still have urges but haven't given in lately, but mine sounds a lot more severe than yours does..or that I'd been doing it a lot longer..the sooner you start fighting it the easier it will be to stop.....distracting yourself is a great technique.....so......keep it up..keep fighting, the longer you fight, the less the urges will get....if you could find someone to talk it through with and talk about whatevre is bothering you and the flashbacks that would be the best thing...good luck..you can do it...it CAN get better!!!
maybecrazy
09-21-2008, 02:57 AM
thanks ladyitialian, I really do appreciate your honesty - I guess it's different for each of us - I hope you find something that helps permanently.
and thanks also to you littlesadone, well done :) on not giving in lately - I found out one of my sisters that was abused also cut herself when no-one would believe her so maybe it's a genetic thing - I did it for about a monh - most days after I had started - when I told my psychologist I said I would never do it again and he looked at me as if to say - yep I've heard that before - so I am trying to prove him wrong - he didnt mean it in a bad way - and in a way it motivated me to stop - strange thing is that when I get upset even though there is just a scar there now - It feels like the wound is still open - yes I know that sounds crazy - sometimes I get close, but have managed to not go there - I did scratch my arm but I wasnt paying attention and as soon as I realised what I was doing I stopped it - I hope the road gets easier for all of us - take care MBC
and thanks also to you littlesadone, well done :) on not giving in lately - I found out one of my sisters that was abused also cut herself when no-one would believe her so maybe it's a genetic thing - I did it for about a monh - most days after I had started - when I told my psychologist I said I would never do it again and he looked at me as if to say - yep I've heard that before - so I am trying to prove him wrong - he didnt mean it in a bad way - and in a way it motivated me to stop - strange thing is that when I get upset even though there is just a scar there now - It feels like the wound is still open - yes I know that sounds crazy - sometimes I get close, but have managed to not go there - I did scratch my arm but I wasnt paying attention and as soon as I realised what I was doing I stopped it - I hope the road gets easier for all of us - take care MBC
katlin09
09-21-2008, 05:04 PM
I know this is not what you want to hear, but...I was molested by a family member from the time I was 13 until I was 16...I started cutting when I was 14 and still to this day do....I'm 39. It's off and on throughout the years...but the urge never stops and gets worse everytime it seems like I've stopped. I've done it for different reasons all my life, it was just a learned coping mechanism, an incorrect one, but one that is very hard to undo once you learn it. I'm glad that all of you have been able to manage your urges, congratulations to you.
I pray that someday I'll be able to fight this demon and win...
I pray that someday I'll be able to fight this demon and win...