Well the doctor's office just called and my pregnancy blood test just came back negative.


I don't know what I am feeling more - mad or sad. Sad that I will never have another child or mad that it seems so unfair that those of us who want a child so bad can't have one and others can have them at the drop of a hat.

DH doesn't even know the bad news yet. He works construction so there is no way to get a hold of him. What's worse is this morning I was taking my daughter to school (it his her weekend to spend with her real dad) and she said don't call me if it is bad news, I want to be home when you tell me so I can cry with you. SHe is going to be so devastated and disappointed.

I wish I could just go home early and scream and cry and just be left alone.

I give all my baby dust to the rest of you, this was our last cycle of fertility treatments.

Amy

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/mad.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/blob_fire.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/mad.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/blob_fire.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/mad.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/blob_fire.gif

Amy,

I am so sorry. I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain you are feeling right now. All I can say is what I keep telling myself, everything happens for a reason. God does not want us to feel this pain, he has a plan for us, we just can't see it right now. If my appeal to my company fails, I have decided that I am going to try herbal remedies, and the Adkins diet for the PCOS. If I ovulate three times in 10 months, then I have three months of a chance. And think of all of the money I am going to save http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but my point is that maybe things will happen naturally for you. I can't wait to hear from you on this board in six months telling us all that you are pg. Keep hoping, and keep in touch.

- Jody

Jody,

One thing I would caution you on with the Atkins diet - many many people have problems when they don't take in ANY carbs at all. I was horribly sick on the diet until I realized what was wrong. But, I kept doing research and found something that you might be interested in. I have PCOS. I was SHOCKED that my dr would recommend a "lower carb" diet for me. He told me not to abandon carbs altogether, but just to not make them the focus of a meal. Try to eat a salad and some meat if you have pasta, etc. Ultimately I went on the Heller diet (they have a couple of books out) which I "tweaked" a little. I had no carbs for two meals a day. The 3rd meal, which usually for me was dinner. I had equal portions of protein, veggies and yes, CARBS. I used to eat protein bars for breakfast, chicken breast with salad for lunch and awesome dinners like steak, salad and CHOCOLATE CAKE! Sugar is my weakness. I lost about 30 pounds in 2 months and I was so content because I looked forward to that one yummy thing I could eat every day without guilt. I also had cheese, peanuts and veggies with dip as snacks, even though they tend to have some carbs.

Just a thought. I would hate to see you get sick and abandon your strategy. Oh, and I've been told that you should make sure you get plenty of potassium when you're on that diet too.......

Unfortunately, my weight has little effect on PCOS. I have not ovulated - not ONCE - since I was 18 years old without meds. I was off the pill for more than a year and did not ovulate at all during that time. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

How can the Adkins and low carb diets help PCOS - just b/c your body won't have to try and break down teh carbs? I need to lose about 40 lbs. All of which I have put on from quitting smoking over a year ago and from the fertility drugs.

At least I can focus on losing weight now adn that will keep my mind of not being pg.

Let me know what you decide about the herbal treatments. A lot of people had tried talking to me in to trying that but 1. my insurance doesn't cover it and 2. the doctor's told me not to do it while doing fertility treatments and that nothing has been proven that herbal treatments aren't related or linked to some birth defects.

I am done with the traditional treatments. I have invested a lot of time and money and I can't take the heartache any more. Also dh is 37 and doens't want a baby after he is 39. I am only 25 but understand his wishes and respect them. A lot of health problems run in his family and he doesn't want to die while our child is young or be sick and unable to do things with them. His son is 12 and my daughter is 6 so there is already a large age gap between our children.

I will still pop in and see how everyone is doing. And I hope your right, I hope six months from now that I am posting that we got pg the natural way.

Amy

Amy

I was told that sometimes symptoms of PCOS can lessen if you're able to lose some weight. My dr told me that when I eat carbs, my body produces too much insulin. So, instead of metabolizing the sugars I've eaten (be they chocolate, carrots or potatoes) my body senses the insulin rush and "shuts down", storing everything I've eaten as fat. This in turn messes with your hormone levels which causes the fluctuations in your menstrual cycle. When I found out I had PCOS (after going through tons of doctors who thought I was nuts for telling them that I was exercising more, had not changed my eating habits, but gaining huge amounts of weight every month) they checked my hormone levels. Most women have testosterone levels around 1.5. Mine was 12! All my other numbers were so skewed it was obvious something was wrong.

Amy - I hope that things work out for you. I am so sorry to hear about the BFN. It really doesn't seem fair.

Amy,

Sorry to hear about your BFN. Hopefully, the lack of stress from not ttc wlll help you conceive. We'll keep praying for you.

I wanted to add a note about the Adkins diet. It could help PCOS as explained in dknees note. However, be sure to drink plenty of water or you could develop kidney stones. This just happened to my girl friend at work. When you eat all protein, it causes a lot more acid build up in your body. This acid takes calcium out of you blood and it builds up in the kidneys. It's not a common side affect, but it is possible.

Mindy

Tazink....i was very eager to hear your result but sorry to hear that things didnot turn out good.Only thing i can say is keep your spirits up and something good will surely happen.Maybe in next few months we will hear some wonderful news from you.

Thanks for the advice on Adkins. I'm not sure if I can handle it anyway, where can I get more information on the Heller diet?

I'll try to get this right - with PCOS, the problems are generally two-fold. First, generally, if you have PCOS, you are insulin resistent. This means that when you eat carbs, your body produces too much insulin (can't remember why), which affects the pituitary glands (I think) and tells the body to make testosterone. When your body is making testosterone, its not doing what it is supposed to in your ovaries, and the cysts that you see are follicules that never developed because of this. Second, generally with PCOS, you produce too much testosterone as it is. It is proven medically that insulin and PCOS go hand in hand. That is why I am on glucophage with the low carb diet. I have read posts in the PCOS forums where women have ovulated on their own just by cutting out the carbs big time. Seriously, this works. Maybe a nutritionist is in order, that was the first thing my RE recommended.

I have no idea what type of herbal remedies to take, but my sister is the original flower child, so I am sure she can help me http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Amy,,,,,
I am so sorry about your bad news. I know there is not much I can say but like U said maybe itll happen naturally.........without all the worry anxiety and stress of it all. It is very hard..I have to laugh when people at work tell me to relax.......have afew glasses of wine...and itll happen?? I wish it were that easy........haaha..
dont forget to stop in and visit us here........... you have made me laugh at times with your funny remarks........hang in there ok?
Your friend.......Anne

Jody: Thanks so much for your VERY educated opinion of PCOS. You explained that so well! I just wanted talk for a minute about "herbal" products in relation to TTC.

My cousin had one child and TTC her 2nd baby for close to 3 years. She refused any infertility treatments and decided that she was only meant to have one child. However, shortly after that she began selling a product (we'll call it "A" because I don't know if I can say the name here or not)that is a nutritional supplement. The company sells many products from weightloss to energy to kids vitamins. Anyway, This company is backed by a scientific and medical advisory board of 12 people!! I would consider the products safer than many herbal products for that reason.
My point is, my cousin suddenly became pg and recently delivered a healthy baby boy. To add to this, she shared her experience with a friend of hers that had been TTC for 6 years. That friend also starting selling the products and guess what? She just recently delivered a healthy baby girl!!!

Now, I'm not saying that this product produces pg! But I definatly believe that the products helped them to live healthy lifestyles which may in turn, allow them to become pregnant.

Sorry this was so long.....Jodie

JodyC - I saw your post about doing herbal remedies. Have you ever thought of chinese medicine? I'm at a point in my fertility treatments where I will do my ONE TRY of IVFin a few months. Before I do it I had a friend recommend accupuncture and herbs. So I reluctantly went and couldn't believe some of the stuff she told me. Great actually. I love her and really think traditional medicine is missing a link (and i work in traditional medicine). It's just a thought. The needles aren't that bad. I figured if I could go in for all the FSH, estrogen etc etc blood draws and give myself daily injectable shots of fert drugs I could stand it. Really not bad at all, I sleep every time. I've never, ever felt better.

Amy, bless your heart.I will continue to pray for you.
I know that nothing anyone says can take away your pain. However, DON'T GIVE UP!!!! Take it day by day and at your own pace. Continue to pray. Sometimes I take a shower and cry my eyes out and have a good long talk with God. He has big shoulders.
I just started with this board and already feel a connection with all of you.Right from the beginning I read a lot of what you wrote and you are part of the reason I decided to post because I could relate to you. I hope you will continue to post and tell us how you are ... even to vent. I have a salon and everyone in my staff who have children weren't trying and were actually trying to prevent having them. Then there is me trying for three years. I have beat myself up with WHY??? I don't understand. Then I look back at three years ago and dh and I have accomplished a lot in our relationship. We are closer than ever and I thank God every day that we have each other. I still pray for a child but I think there is a plan for each of us and it isn't always in the order we would like it to be. I believe it will happen for you and I wish you lots of love and comfort. Thinking of you.

I am so sorry to hear about all the negative results. I have been away from my computer for few days and was truly hoping to log on here and see some good news. hope everyone is able to find hope for the future--with or without a new baby. Good lives come in many many shapes and sizes. I do resonate with tazink's idea of focusing on losing weight! That was my Plan B all along--if not pregnant then at least I would make my goal weight!!

As far as our situation: SO FAR SO GOOD. We had an ultrasound this morning. Just one cute little perfect sac has planted itself in my womb!! We are so happy. My partner is so relieved. I had been having nightmares about multiples all weekend and this one little singleton just hanging out in the right side of my uterus is just an amazing thing.

Girls ... I started with the clomid three years ago ... the weight gain and mood swings were awful. I had a D&C to start with a clean uterus lining because I have bled irratically for the last ten years embarrasingly. I got pregnant two months later and miscarried at 6-7 weeks.
Two years later ... never prego again. However, I was diagnosed with PCOS right from the beginning. I have taken the Metformin for a year now and have almost perfect cycles (with the help of injections). Before I started the injections a year ago I realized I was not happy with me or my weight which added to my depression. Now, I have absolutely now will power when it comes to food ... but I gained control with weight watchers! I have kept almost thirty extra pounds off this past year. Although I am not prego ... yet ... my cycles and health have improved tremendously. I also found out that I have endo on the outside of my uterus this past month which explains some other things. Anyway, I am rambling... sorry ... but I just wanted you all to know that WW is not a diet ... it is balanced and sooooo easy. I feel the best I have in 15 years ... since H.S. graduation. I am 33 and have gained every year since I graduated. I was a chunky monkey and I am still not where I need to be ... but it is amazing how much better I feel from eating healthy and drinking lots of water. The best part is that I realized that even though I had no control over my fertility ... I could over the rest of me. You do deserve pampering my dear girls. Take good care of yourselves!!!!
Tracy

Tracy - welcome to the board and I look forward to communicating with you. Sounds like we have a lot in common. DH and I have decided that we will continue to try over the next year naturally but as for the fertility meds we are done. The side affects that I have, have become unbearable.

Today is day 1 of my weight loss program. I have heard a lot of good things about weight watchers and may consider trying it. As for now, I am going to eat less fat and sugars, take an appetite suppressant so I don't over eat like I like to do, and try startin to exercise. I have also decided that a little pampering is in order. This means having my nails done if I wish, or getting my hair highlighted or whatever I need to do to help me feel better about myself.

I wish you all the best. Ratty thanks for the kind words also and congrats on your ultrasound and singleton. Keep us posted on how things are going.

Amy

Amy ... glad to hear that you will be pampering yourself! I wish you lived here and I could do your hair for you. You could come to my salon and have a scalp massage and your hair done.
Control is an amazing thing. When I have made the decision to take a break from the drugs etc. I feel better because I have taken the pressure off my shoulders. Goodluck with your taking care of yourself!
Tracy

I just have to put in a good word for Weight Watchers. My partner has lost about 25lbs on WW and I lost 44 lbs. She's been on the program for about a year. She started going regularly and I was sort of a "shadow" weight watcher--I have been stabilized for about 6 months or so. The weight loss (essentially, I finally lost my "grief coat"--the weight I gained after my mom died) has been amazingly painless. I can honestly say there was no suffering. Slow and steady was our motto and we stuck by it--cutting down portions and just keeping an eye on the big picture (which the WW point system lets you do--by saving points at one meal to eat at another). I think I lost more than my partner because she hasn't exercised as much. I started a low-impact aerobics program a little over a year ago (to become a lean mean baby machine!). I wanted to lose 44 lbs (going from 184 to 140) before we started on the baby thing and it worked. We really have benefitted from WW and I highly recommend it.

Katieisboo,

No, I haven't tried any Chinese remedies yet, but it might be something I will look into. Thanks for the advice.

- JodyC