carsam
10-10-2008, 12:42 PM
Just when you think that things are bad, someone can make them worse, you know?
Grandma really is doing awful now....last night she was screaming and crying that "Jesus is coming to take her".....Uncle is struggling right now to care for her as he has the flu as is scared to go near her to comfort her in case she gets the germs, that would finish her off. After a long hellish night of this (no sleep of course), he gets a call from one of the "sisters". Apparently Uncle #2 had told her what went on last night and she called to say she was going to take Uncle #1 to Court so she could see her mother. This is pure insanity. No one has ever stopped her from seeing her mother. She has been "begged" to go see her mother. This is the one who pleaded last year with the doctor to have my grandmother placed in a facility, even though no one knew she was going on holidays the very next day. Does that sound like someone who wants the best for her mom? If she did, she would have been around to help with the transition. My mom calls her and told her how grandma is suffering so much because of the 3 of them abandoning her.....and as always she blames everything on Uncle. Yes, he has said some harsh things to her, but why oh why can they not see that his anger and bitterness towards them come from a 24/7 lifetime of no sleep, a demented mother, no life of his own......knowing he has 3 sisters around the corner. Isnt he entitled to be bitter? Do they really think he wants things this way? So another big argument today with mom and sister. Mom told her she would not want to be any of them and live with what they've done to their mother. Aunt says to mom that she only visits for short times and doesnt know what they go through. Aunt has seen grandma "once" this year. Mom has travelled 3000 miles - FOUR times this year and spends hours every single day on the phone. She could tell you how much grandma slept yesterday, what she ate, how many times she went to the washroom. How dare Aunt say that? I loathe my aunts now.....but I said to my mom, that Uncle should say "Hey, you want to see her? The door is open". Call her bluff! I could care less about Aunt but it breaks my heart to hear my grandma suffer, longing for them. Why can they not stop acting like children and do what they have to do, or for heavens sake, leave them alone and not make things worse. Her anger towards her brother is obviously stronger than her love for her mother.....I wish she would just get lost!
Poor grandma I believe does not have much time left......she has suffered so much.... :(
Thanks for listening,
Love, Caroline xo
Grandma really is doing awful now....last night she was screaming and crying that "Jesus is coming to take her".....Uncle is struggling right now to care for her as he has the flu as is scared to go near her to comfort her in case she gets the germs, that would finish her off. After a long hellish night of this (no sleep of course), he gets a call from one of the "sisters". Apparently Uncle #2 had told her what went on last night and she called to say she was going to take Uncle #1 to Court so she could see her mother. This is pure insanity. No one has ever stopped her from seeing her mother. She has been "begged" to go see her mother. This is the one who pleaded last year with the doctor to have my grandmother placed in a facility, even though no one knew she was going on holidays the very next day. Does that sound like someone who wants the best for her mom? If she did, she would have been around to help with the transition. My mom calls her and told her how grandma is suffering so much because of the 3 of them abandoning her.....and as always she blames everything on Uncle. Yes, he has said some harsh things to her, but why oh why can they not see that his anger and bitterness towards them come from a 24/7 lifetime of no sleep, a demented mother, no life of his own......knowing he has 3 sisters around the corner. Isnt he entitled to be bitter? Do they really think he wants things this way? So another big argument today with mom and sister. Mom told her she would not want to be any of them and live with what they've done to their mother. Aunt says to mom that she only visits for short times and doesnt know what they go through. Aunt has seen grandma "once" this year. Mom has travelled 3000 miles - FOUR times this year and spends hours every single day on the phone. She could tell you how much grandma slept yesterday, what she ate, how many times she went to the washroom. How dare Aunt say that? I loathe my aunts now.....but I said to my mom, that Uncle should say "Hey, you want to see her? The door is open". Call her bluff! I could care less about Aunt but it breaks my heart to hear my grandma suffer, longing for them. Why can they not stop acting like children and do what they have to do, or for heavens sake, leave them alone and not make things worse. Her anger towards her brother is obviously stronger than her love for her mother.....I wish she would just get lost!
Poor grandma I believe does not have much time left......she has suffered so much.... :(
Thanks for listening,
Love, Caroline xo
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skimps46
10-10-2008, 01:43 PM
Dearest Caroline,
Oh my. What an awful mess. Why is it that when our loved ones are ok, no one gives a darn about traveling to see them, care for them...no one except those that end up with the hardest job they will ever love...but when dementia/ALZ takes over, now the fighting begins.
This is a nearly impossible idea, Caroline, but what would happen if you just recused yourself out of the situation? You already know that uncle has gone far beyond that which an ordinary person would do. You already know that no one has restricted sisters from visiting. You already know that grandma may be literally going to see Jesus very soon. You know. The fighting will do nothing but make a bad situation ever so much worse.
You can't affect what other people do, say, think or feel. You only have control over what YOU do, say, think and feel. Try really hard to REFUSE to be drug down into the mud over this. You know the truth. God knows the truth. Nothing else matters, does it?
My love, prayers and a big warm hug,
...lil' deb
Oh my. What an awful mess. Why is it that when our loved ones are ok, no one gives a darn about traveling to see them, care for them...no one except those that end up with the hardest job they will ever love...but when dementia/ALZ takes over, now the fighting begins.
This is a nearly impossible idea, Caroline, but what would happen if you just recused yourself out of the situation? You already know that uncle has gone far beyond that which an ordinary person would do. You already know that no one has restricted sisters from visiting. You already know that grandma may be literally going to see Jesus very soon. You know. The fighting will do nothing but make a bad situation ever so much worse.
You can't affect what other people do, say, think or feel. You only have control over what YOU do, say, think and feel. Try really hard to REFUSE to be drug down into the mud over this. You know the truth. God knows the truth. Nothing else matters, does it?
My love, prayers and a big warm hug,
...lil' deb
DGabriel10
10-10-2008, 06:25 PM
I echo what little deb has said. You cannot change your uncle's determiation to do what he is doing. In facilitating his choices you yourself have admitted that he has said ugly things to the sisters. The sisters have returned those ugly sentiments and feel unwelcome. So many cannot let go of anger for any reason and your family is a prime example. It all become a self fulfilling situation. One barks and they all start barking at each other. Somehow you get drug into the fray.
Know you cannot change any of them. They can only change themselves. Is your angst going to benefit anybody? Is it going to change your aunts or uncles? Is it only going to drag YOU down? "Grant me the courage to change those things I can. Grant me the patience to accept those things I can't change. Grant me the wisdom to know the difference!" Words to live by. Keep your spirits up for the little one to come and the bigger one you have with you now. Don't transfer this angst to a fourth generation. Your Grandmother would not want that.......
Love, deb
Know you cannot change any of them. They can only change themselves. Is your angst going to benefit anybody? Is it going to change your aunts or uncles? Is it only going to drag YOU down? "Grant me the courage to change those things I can. Grant me the patience to accept those things I can't change. Grant me the wisdom to know the difference!" Words to live by. Keep your spirits up for the little one to come and the bigger one you have with you now. Don't transfer this angst to a fourth generation. Your Grandmother would not want that.......
Love, deb
ibake&pray
10-10-2008, 06:44 PM
Dearest Caroline,
The hardest thing to do is to walk away. Turn your back and walk away. Nothing you can say or do is going to change their minds because they aren't listening to you. They don't hear you-or if they do, they aren't listening to the words you are saying. They are so caught up in their anger at each other that they neglect to see the true issue-which is their mother.
We just had a man here who lost his mother. While she lay dying from cancer his two sister were arguing over who should have control of the woman's money. How insane! The true reason to be there was to give comfort and to relish the few moment that were left with the woman who had brought you into the world and nurtured you and gave you life.
How foolish we are as humans to not realise that we need to appreciate those last moments if we are lucky enough to be able to share them with our mothers and fathers.
I had a saying pop up on my calendar yesterday. "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for others?" I think too often we tend to forget that in the hustle and bustle of life.
But you, my dear, need to shut your ears to it. You need to keep your back straight and your mind clear and calm. This hatred does not need to be brought forward into the next generation. It is not good for our wee one and it isn't good for you to stress about it either. Please just let it go..
There are alot more crazy people out there than our mothers told us there were. We don't need to participate in their craziness. We can recognize craziness for what it is...and move on...MOVE ON dear....
The hardest thing to do is to walk away. Turn your back and walk away. Nothing you can say or do is going to change their minds because they aren't listening to you. They don't hear you-or if they do, they aren't listening to the words you are saying. They are so caught up in their anger at each other that they neglect to see the true issue-which is their mother.
We just had a man here who lost his mother. While she lay dying from cancer his two sister were arguing over who should have control of the woman's money. How insane! The true reason to be there was to give comfort and to relish the few moment that were left with the woman who had brought you into the world and nurtured you and gave you life.
How foolish we are as humans to not realise that we need to appreciate those last moments if we are lucky enough to be able to share them with our mothers and fathers.
I had a saying pop up on my calendar yesterday. "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for others?" I think too often we tend to forget that in the hustle and bustle of life.
But you, my dear, need to shut your ears to it. You need to keep your back straight and your mind clear and calm. This hatred does not need to be brought forward into the next generation. It is not good for our wee one and it isn't good for you to stress about it either. Please just let it go..
There are alot more crazy people out there than our mothers told us there were. We don't need to participate in their craziness. We can recognize craziness for what it is...and move on...MOVE ON dear....
BlueAtlas
10-10-2008, 08:33 PM
Caroline, dear, easy to say, not so easy to do, but yes, like the others have said, you have to let it go. Nobody gains, and you, mom, and Uncle are probably the only ones who are really caring about her and aching because of it! Of course Uncle is going to be cranky! It's hard enough to have the flu when you don't have to do anything but lay around and let someone else take care of you. I can't even imagine how hard it must be on him to be trying to care for her without infecting her and not getting the healing rest he needs himself!
Those who aren't willing to visit and help out have no place sticking their noses into it! I think you're spot on to call their bluff! There'll be some excuse why they can't come after all! Gotta make it clear, and best in writing, too, that the door is always open for them. Keep a copy for yourself (or uncle)! It may come in handy later on.
This falls under the category of caretaker abuse. I hope your uncle knows how much you love and support him.
Hang in there. One day at a time... Take a long bubble bath with a glass of wine and some Frank Sinatra in the background.
(((hugs)))
Emily
Those who aren't willing to visit and help out have no place sticking their noses into it! I think you're spot on to call their bluff! There'll be some excuse why they can't come after all! Gotta make it clear, and best in writing, too, that the door is always open for them. Keep a copy for yourself (or uncle)! It may come in handy later on.
This falls under the category of caretaker abuse. I hope your uncle knows how much you love and support him.
Hang in there. One day at a time... Take a long bubble bath with a glass of wine and some Frank Sinatra in the background.
(((hugs)))
Emily
carsam
10-11-2008, 09:09 AM
Dearest friends,
Thank you for all your kind and wise words.....
Firstly let me say to Ibake......it is so wonderful to see you back, we have all missed you so very much.....I was so happy to see your post this morning!!!!
Ladies, I really am hearing you and taking your advice. These situations or "incidents" do upset me to hear about them, but I am learning to let them go soon after. "Accept what I cant change"..as Deb says. I mostly just posted this as an update as to what's going on. You are all absolutely right, I will not let this intrude on my own little family. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here and I am all prepared with my Turkey and all the trimmings. I have seen the day where I too would have maybe put off anything "enjoyable" because of all the family drama but not anymore. My son deserves traditions....he is 4 years old and deserves a happy family.
As much as mom is still heavily involved in grandmas situation......even she surprised me yesterday. Usually after an altercation with one of the sisters, she is very agitated for a few days, but yesterday she told me she had nothing to feel for her. She has let it go...and knows that there is nothing left between them. She just wanted her to back off and not give Uncle any more problems than he already has to deal with. I know that when the time comes for my dear grandma to leave us, we will grieve not only her loss, but the loss of our entire family because even in anger, she is still the thread that holds anything that is left together, and that will be gone. I am saddened that my son wont know his family, my cousins, aunts, etc. But they are not the people I grew up with, so I will find other friends and family to fill his life with.
Yes, these things do bother me, but I'm trying now to graduate to at least being annoyed, and then its "over".....you all are teaching me that. I am so grateful to know if I step off that path, you are all right there to bring me back. You all mean so much to me.....thank you for sharing your time and invaluable advice with me......
Love, Caroline xo
Thank you for all your kind and wise words.....
Firstly let me say to Ibake......it is so wonderful to see you back, we have all missed you so very much.....I was so happy to see your post this morning!!!!
Ladies, I really am hearing you and taking your advice. These situations or "incidents" do upset me to hear about them, but I am learning to let them go soon after. "Accept what I cant change"..as Deb says. I mostly just posted this as an update as to what's going on. You are all absolutely right, I will not let this intrude on my own little family. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here and I am all prepared with my Turkey and all the trimmings. I have seen the day where I too would have maybe put off anything "enjoyable" because of all the family drama but not anymore. My son deserves traditions....he is 4 years old and deserves a happy family.
As much as mom is still heavily involved in grandmas situation......even she surprised me yesterday. Usually after an altercation with one of the sisters, she is very agitated for a few days, but yesterday she told me she had nothing to feel for her. She has let it go...and knows that there is nothing left between them. She just wanted her to back off and not give Uncle any more problems than he already has to deal with. I know that when the time comes for my dear grandma to leave us, we will grieve not only her loss, but the loss of our entire family because even in anger, she is still the thread that holds anything that is left together, and that will be gone. I am saddened that my son wont know his family, my cousins, aunts, etc. But they are not the people I grew up with, so I will find other friends and family to fill his life with.
Yes, these things do bother me, but I'm trying now to graduate to at least being annoyed, and then its "over".....you all are teaching me that. I am so grateful to know if I step off that path, you are all right there to bring me back. You all mean so much to me.....thank you for sharing your time and invaluable advice with me......
Love, Caroline xo
DGabriel10
10-11-2008, 01:13 PM
I agree with Caroline..... welcome back IBAKE!!!!!! Your straight forward manner tinged with your amazing humor has been missed.
Caroline..... you are doing great :) .... and I am even more pleased that your Mom is following your lead. You are so right.... your little ones deserve better. It is better to have friends and family that bring joy to your life than hang on to those that cause chaos. Life is way to short to spend time fretting with worry :)
Anybody for applebutter... I have a couple of gallons cooking!
Love, deb
Caroline..... you are doing great :) .... and I am even more pleased that your Mom is following your lead. You are so right.... your little ones deserve better. It is better to have friends and family that bring joy to your life than hang on to those that cause chaos. Life is way to short to spend time fretting with worry :)
Anybody for applebutter... I have a couple of gallons cooking!
Love, deb
Drews Gram
10-11-2008, 03:11 PM
Oh deb does "making applebutter" bring back memories of my Gram. She made the most delicious applebutter in the world. Blackberry cobbler also. Yummm...........Actually anything she made was the best. Country cooking, nothing better.
Well it sounds like everyone has given Caroline the best advice she can get anywhere. The best time of my life was carrying my babies. Don't let anyone ruin that time Caroline.
I have to say I read "ibake and pray" over twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things. How wonderful to hear from her. She has been missed.:)
Love Chris
Well it sounds like everyone has given Caroline the best advice she can get anywhere. The best time of my life was carrying my babies. Don't let anyone ruin that time Caroline.
I have to say I read "ibake and pray" over twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things. How wonderful to hear from her. She has been missed.:)
Love Chris
carsam
10-11-2008, 08:15 PM
Oh yes Deb....I will take some of that Applebutter, sounds absolutely delicious!
Chris, you are right.....I'm going to focus on my "babytime", there is nothing more precious.
You know...I really think I'm learning so much here. I think that your family can hurt you, like no one else can. But as everyone tells me, you have to learn to accept that you cant change them or their behaviour, only how you react to it. As I'm learning this, it makes me realize now that I know this, that if they hurt me, it is because I am giving them the power to do so. If I dont, because I've learned that nothing I say can change them, then they dont win, and I am happier for it. Life is too short to surround yourself with people that cause you grief. These are my life lessons these days.....
I was so proud of mom today.....we talked about her sisters and for the first time she did not get all upset.....she told me she is "done" with letting them get to her. She told me that watching grandma suffer is what has allowed her to "let go" of her anger. Because it has destroyed any longing she had for her sisters. It has allowed her to realize that they are no longer the siblings she grew up with...and so now she needs to focus on grandma, brother and her own family. I am proud of her today.......
Love, Caroline xo
Chris, you are right.....I'm going to focus on my "babytime", there is nothing more precious.
You know...I really think I'm learning so much here. I think that your family can hurt you, like no one else can. But as everyone tells me, you have to learn to accept that you cant change them or their behaviour, only how you react to it. As I'm learning this, it makes me realize now that I know this, that if they hurt me, it is because I am giving them the power to do so. If I dont, because I've learned that nothing I say can change them, then they dont win, and I am happier for it. Life is too short to surround yourself with people that cause you grief. These are my life lessons these days.....
I was so proud of mom today.....we talked about her sisters and for the first time she did not get all upset.....she told me she is "done" with letting them get to her. She told me that watching grandma suffer is what has allowed her to "let go" of her anger. Because it has destroyed any longing she had for her sisters. It has allowed her to realize that they are no longer the siblings she grew up with...and so now she needs to focus on grandma, brother and her own family. I am proud of her today.......
Love, Caroline xo
DGabriel10
10-11-2008, 10:08 PM
Good for your Mother Caroline. I am proud of her and of you. Your kids not only need their mother... they need their grandmother. Hopefully this is the little light at the end of the tunnel which will grow until it outshines everything else. Print your own third paragraph, put it in your pocket, and read it often. You are your best advocate......
Apple butter for all.... I ended up with 19 jars :) My Mom was the "cook" in the family. Many years ago I realized that she would not always be with us so I set out to learn how to make the "familiy favorites". At Christmas Mom said that she had made the turkey so it must have been almost as good as hers!! My daughter actually ended up with Mom's cooking gene. She's a better cook than I am!
Love, deb
Apple butter for all.... I ended up with 19 jars :) My Mom was the "cook" in the family. Many years ago I realized that she would not always be with us so I set out to learn how to make the "familiy favorites". At Christmas Mom said that she had made the turkey so it must have been almost as good as hers!! My daughter actually ended up with Mom's cooking gene. She's a better cook than I am!
Love, deb
skimps46
10-11-2008, 11:08 PM
IBAKE!!!!! OMYGOSH, OMYGOSH, OMYGOSH!!!!! I am soooooo glad to see you back among us!!!
I have missed you ever so much! Welcome back - and don't go away again!:jester:
And deb...I just made strawberry freezer jam - I'll trade ya a pint for a pint of apple butter? Yum, yum. Oh, and I'll throw in a pint of peach freezer jam for good measure, k?
...lil' deb
I have missed you ever so much! Welcome back - and don't go away again!:jester:
And deb...I just made strawberry freezer jam - I'll trade ya a pint for a pint of apple butter? Yum, yum. Oh, and I'll throw in a pint of peach freezer jam for good measure, k?
...lil' deb
DGabriel10
10-12-2008, 01:29 AM
Sounds good to me little deb.... how about I match your peach freezer jam with a quart of my home made ragu :)
Love, deb
Love, deb
ibake&pray
10-12-2008, 09:48 PM
I've got applesauce in the crockpot cooking down to be "jarred" in the morning before I go to work. I put up 6 quarts on Friday and we went and picked 3 bushels of apples today. WHY? I'm not quite sure. I have no children at home to consume, although they assure me that my applesauce is the best-bar none. How that will get rid of 30 quarts is beyound my comprehension. That's OK. It makes great things to put in bags for gifts at Chrsitmas as it seems to be lost art. How making applesauce is a lost art is also lost on me...I gues I must be just lost...I should wear a sign. I am a lost soul with lost recipes. please return me to wherever I came from. Someone must be looking for me...I hope.
DGabriel10
10-13-2008, 02:47 AM
Nothing lost about you IBake..... I think you are very found. I understand. Even now, my Mom's favorite story goes this way.......
"I called Deb once and could tell she was busy. I ask her what she was doing and she said she was emptying jars. So I ask her why. !!SHE GIGGLES!!. She was emptying jars of green beans because she was out of jars and needed to can some more green beans." Then she roars with laughter. That was not one of her made up stories.... I really truly did that.
So if you are lost IBake.... then you are lost with me and if we are together we can't be lost :)
I put up apples first, then applesauce, then apple butter......
Love, deb
"I called Deb once and could tell she was busy. I ask her what she was doing and she said she was emptying jars. So I ask her why. !!SHE GIGGLES!!. She was emptying jars of green beans because she was out of jars and needed to can some more green beans." Then she roars with laughter. That was not one of her made up stories.... I really truly did that.
So if you are lost IBake.... then you are lost with me and if we are together we can't be lost :)
I put up apples first, then applesauce, then apple butter......
Love, deb
ibake&pray
10-13-2008, 01:05 PM
LOL...Move over Deb-youhave company...the grapes are turning into raisins in the dehydrator because my children-who don't live here any more-don't like store bought raisins. So I am making raisins for children who now have (at least one does) a child of his own, and does not live here, and doesn't eat here, and was mad at me last week so he doesn't even speak to me here, why you ask? Beats me...but at least they will be done. And when they find me on the street with my sign on, my pantry will look nice and well stocked and my mother will look down from heaven and at least she will be proud. I think. That and homemade raisins taste better and I'm going to hold them over my snotty son's head as a bribe-the little snot.
But when my hubby asks what I'm doing in the freezer, I don't tell him I'm throwing things out, I just say I'm rearranging----yeah, I always rearrange bags from the freezer to the garage bin.......and they say that people with this disease are off kilter....
But when my hubby asks what I'm doing in the freezer, I don't tell him I'm throwing things out, I just say I'm rearranging----yeah, I always rearrange bags from the freezer to the garage bin.......and they say that people with this disease are off kilter....
DGabriel10
10-13-2008, 03:09 PM
OMG IBake..... I have just laughed until tears rolled down my face. You and I are definitely sisters. I pleed guilty of "rearranging the freezer". The apple butter is for my daughter who is annoyed at me right now because our political views are not the same. I can't have it because of the sugar content. I will give her half even though she hung up on me yesterday and the rest will be Christmas presents. My hubby uses his garden as therapy and expects me to put up everything that comes out of it.... thus the green bean story Mom loves so.
To get past him I give away all that I can before I process it. Process the rest and give away what I can't use. I have four canning shelves and two freezers in a room dedicated to HIS passion. I have been more stubborn the last couple of years because of the time Mom and Dad are taking. My last good memory of home was putting up corn with Mom and Dad. That is now in my freezer as well..
We have muscadines but how many bottles of wine do we need? Wonder how to deseed these so I can dry them.... hummmm. My brain is churning here :)
Love, deb
To get past him I give away all that I can before I process it. Process the rest and give away what I can't use. I have four canning shelves and two freezers in a room dedicated to HIS passion. I have been more stubborn the last couple of years because of the time Mom and Dad are taking. My last good memory of home was putting up corn with Mom and Dad. That is now in my freezer as well..
We have muscadines but how many bottles of wine do we need? Wonder how to deseed these so I can dry them.... hummmm. My brain is churning here :)
Love, deb
Martha H
10-13-2008, 06:01 PM
Around here we have a lot of food pantries (lots of unemplyed in the RV industry) - some of them accept fresh produce and all of them accept canned produce ...that would be a win-win solution ... you get rid of stuff, someone gets to eat well. I hope it can be done in your area too.
Love,
Martha
Love,
Martha
skimps46
10-13-2008, 06:08 PM
ibake and Deb,
Holy cow! You two have another sibling!!!! I kid you NOT! I have NEVER admitted that I am a canning or "putting up" freak...and I too have emptied perfectly good jars of food, and I ALSO have a ton of stuff put up that NO ONE WANTS!!!!
My strawberry freezer jam is a hit, but uh...2 pints last a year. The peach freezer jam? I tossed it last night. I made it 2 months ago. Yes, indeedy...I made it, froze it, and threw it out. Why? My daughter said that she like the strawberry better for her twice a year PBJ sandwich. Son said he didn't care. Oldest son that doesn't speak to us will get none of anything, unless of course, he comes over and is marginally decent. So the peach jam is gone, the strawberry jam is stacked neatly in the freezer like the crown jewels, the applesauce is jarred (30 qts!) for absolutely NO ONE, (oh wait. Dad loves my applesauce), the pears are canned...AND I HAVE ONLY ONE CHILD AT HOME!!!
I, too, am a nutbasket. Can I hang out with you two on the street corner with my sign?
(Actually - I think we do this stuff because it centers us. The rest of our lives are topsy turvy, but canning remains the same, doesn't it? I plan to can more, actually)
...lil' deb
Holy cow! You two have another sibling!!!! I kid you NOT! I have NEVER admitted that I am a canning or "putting up" freak...and I too have emptied perfectly good jars of food, and I ALSO have a ton of stuff put up that NO ONE WANTS!!!!
My strawberry freezer jam is a hit, but uh...2 pints last a year. The peach freezer jam? I tossed it last night. I made it 2 months ago. Yes, indeedy...I made it, froze it, and threw it out. Why? My daughter said that she like the strawberry better for her twice a year PBJ sandwich. Son said he didn't care. Oldest son that doesn't speak to us will get none of anything, unless of course, he comes over and is marginally decent. So the peach jam is gone, the strawberry jam is stacked neatly in the freezer like the crown jewels, the applesauce is jarred (30 qts!) for absolutely NO ONE, (oh wait. Dad loves my applesauce), the pears are canned...AND I HAVE ONLY ONE CHILD AT HOME!!!
I, too, am a nutbasket. Can I hang out with you two on the street corner with my sign?
(Actually - I think we do this stuff because it centers us. The rest of our lives are topsy turvy, but canning remains the same, doesn't it? I plan to can more, actually)
...lil' deb
BlueAtlas
10-13-2008, 07:50 PM
Okay, I'm a canner, too. My specialties are picante sauce and peach preserve ice cream topping (original recipes). Is there a connection between this and being a caregiver? Maybe it just says something about the personalities that take the time!
There's such satisfaction in looking at the work of your hands and garden. I think it's the same caring for our loved ones. No matter how hard it is, there's still satisfaction in knowing that you're loving them. (Of course, knowing when it's time to put them in AL or a NH is definitely part of loving them.)
Blessings,
Emily
There's such satisfaction in looking at the work of your hands and garden. I think it's the same caring for our loved ones. No matter how hard it is, there's still satisfaction in knowing that you're loving them. (Of course, knowing when it's time to put them in AL or a NH is definitely part of loving them.)
Blessings,
Emily
DGabriel10
10-14-2008, 12:30 AM
I have a sense of relief tonight. I am not alone!!!! Listening to jar lids seal is music to my ears. There is such a sense of satisfaction when you hear that last POP! Emily.... the Blue Atlas should have been a give away. Guess I should be MasonJar. I suspected IBake bake and canned. Little Deb does everything else so why can can and freeze. Yep... I am NOT alone.
Martha, I have tried but here they do not take foods that were preserved, canned, or frozen by individuals unless there are extensive health inspections. In Mom's county you can take your raw produce to a center and they have a canner (metal cans). Then they can distribute it. But we don't have that here. I'm still looking...... New here this year.... If I get an Ag certification I can donate raw produce and that's something I plan to work on for next year. If not.... when hubby retires.... I am giving him a produce stand for a retirement present :)
Love, deb
Martha, I have tried but here they do not take foods that were preserved, canned, or frozen by individuals unless there are extensive health inspections. In Mom's county you can take your raw produce to a center and they have a canner (metal cans). Then they can distribute it. But we don't have that here. I'm still looking...... New here this year.... If I get an Ag certification I can donate raw produce and that's something I plan to work on for next year. If not.... when hubby retires.... I am giving him a produce stand for a retirement present :)
Love, deb
Martha H
10-14-2008, 07:52 AM
I don't fit the profile. I grew up in the big city.
Well I did make strawberry jam when I lived overseas. Oh, and I did make prunes - we had so many plums on 2 plum trees over there, that I used slow baking in a very low oven to dry some of them overnight. One of my sons loved the home dried prunes. But now I have no time, no room, no equipment, no fruit trees -- wish I could have some of yours, though! My daughter cans her own tomato sauce ....
Love,
Martha
Well I did make strawberry jam when I lived overseas. Oh, and I did make prunes - we had so many plums on 2 plum trees over there, that I used slow baking in a very low oven to dry some of them overnight. One of my sons loved the home dried prunes. But now I have no time, no room, no equipment, no fruit trees -- wish I could have some of yours, though! My daughter cans her own tomato sauce ....
Love,
Martha
Drews Gram
10-14-2008, 01:08 PM
OK you guys I've had enough. All of you are making me feel really bad here. I am just an average cook. I can't sew. Not really good at crafts.
I have a sign in my kitchen that says it all "Martha Stewart does NOT live here". When anyone of my family asks for something that I'm not in the mood to fix.................... I point to my sign. Now that doesn't happen often but I reserve the right to refuse.
When I bought the sign (in Martha Stewart blue of course) the "young girl" looked at it strange so I felt obliged to say something. "I bought this as a joke for my family". To which she replied "Oh, is your name Martha"????? I had no reply. I knew then that I was not only not a very good cook but also OLD..................:o
Love you all,
Chris
I have a sign in my kitchen that says it all "Martha Stewart does NOT live here". When anyone of my family asks for something that I'm not in the mood to fix.................... I point to my sign. Now that doesn't happen often but I reserve the right to refuse.
When I bought the sign (in Martha Stewart blue of course) the "young girl" looked at it strange so I felt obliged to say something. "I bought this as a joke for my family". To which she replied "Oh, is your name Martha"????? I had no reply. I knew then that I was not only not a very good cook but also OLD..................:o
Love you all,
Chris
carsam
10-14-2008, 02:45 PM
Well Chris,
I'm with you girl.....I am hopeless at all that stuff. I bake those brownies in a box that go in the microwave!!!! So how about you and me be the official tastetesters??? Then Martha, Emily, Deb and Deb and Ibake.....can send us all samples and we'll be the judges....
Yeah, I like that idea.....
Caroline :)
I'm with you girl.....I am hopeless at all that stuff. I bake those brownies in a box that go in the microwave!!!! So how about you and me be the official tastetesters??? Then Martha, Emily, Deb and Deb and Ibake.....can send us all samples and we'll be the judges....
Yeah, I like that idea.....
Caroline :)
ibake&pray
10-14-2008, 04:48 PM
Dearest silly souls... I started baking bread when I was 8. Angel food cakes from scratch when I was 9 because I thought it was a lark to do when Mom was gone one Saturday. I bake to intimidate folks at work when I get mad at them. I haul my flour from Minnesota. Before my back surgery I had 9 kinds of flour in my pantry and there wasn't a week that i didn't have at least one type of yeast bread going. I like to sew almost as much as I like to bake.
When you can you have those golden jars that stand there so clean and shiny and they don't talk back and they mind you and they behave and people think you know some sort of miracle recipe instead of plain old hard work, and they behave and don't talk back, and it's just plain refreshing to accomplish it.
Isn't it a sad commentary that you need to have more paperwork to donate homegrown food than to watch people starve? What is wrong with us? And shame on your daughter! OK, maybe I should go dig through the freezer again. Gus, my woof chef, my 90 lb. giant schnauzer would be more than happy to help me..but he already helped himself to the apples and we caught him sitting in front of the TV watching 'toons and eating apples...sigh, what's a mother to do?
And Deb, for heavens sake...what do you mean How MANY BOTTLES OF WINE DO WE NEED. . HOW MANY CAN YOU MAKE???? silly silly soul. now wasn't that a dumb question on a board full of women who are weeping through anquish? if isn't not the dogs digging in the trash....it's my hubbing informing me I don't know how to walk them, or peel the apples...or my son informing me that on the anniversary of my fathers death that when I chose to stay home I was a bad mother...yeah whatever....and so the world turns......
When you can you have those golden jars that stand there so clean and shiny and they don't talk back and they mind you and they behave and people think you know some sort of miracle recipe instead of plain old hard work, and they behave and don't talk back, and it's just plain refreshing to accomplish it.
Isn't it a sad commentary that you need to have more paperwork to donate homegrown food than to watch people starve? What is wrong with us? And shame on your daughter! OK, maybe I should go dig through the freezer again. Gus, my woof chef, my 90 lb. giant schnauzer would be more than happy to help me..but he already helped himself to the apples and we caught him sitting in front of the TV watching 'toons and eating apples...sigh, what's a mother to do?
And Deb, for heavens sake...what do you mean How MANY BOTTLES OF WINE DO WE NEED. . HOW MANY CAN YOU MAKE???? silly silly soul. now wasn't that a dumb question on a board full of women who are weeping through anquish? if isn't not the dogs digging in the trash....it's my hubbing informing me I don't know how to walk them, or peel the apples...or my son informing me that on the anniversary of my fathers death that when I chose to stay home I was a bad mother...yeah whatever....and so the world turns......
skimps46
10-14-2008, 05:12 PM
And all God's children said, "AMEN!" I am with you, ibake. I, too have many kinds of flour, bake bread, can, jar, put up, freeze, preserve...and I agree that deb has lost her ever-lovin' mind asking us how many bottles of wine we need! Just keep 'em comin', deb!
Yesterday, pastor's wife called. One of our parishoners (age 75?) fell and broke 3 ribs. Could I whip up a covered dish to take? Pastor's wife would be by around 4, and it was 10 when she called. At 4 o'clock, I had: Homemade macaroni and cheese, chicken pasta alfredo, bakin' powder biscuits, honey butter and an apple pie...all ready to be picked up.
See, I cook and bake (and pray) because it's always the same. I never know what I'm gonna get with humans. Right, ibake? "Hi, honey! How was your day?" might elicit a kiss and a smile, or a grumpous grouchous response. To 12 yr old, "I made pie!" might get a "YUM!" or a "You didn't make apple again, did you?" and of course, the real wild card - dad. "Look dad! I made you an apple pie!" may very well get a blank stare or "I want cherry!" I bake and cook because it makes ME happy.
Throughout this entire experience with daddy, I have learned so much about people that I never wanted to learn. I know now that not very many people really give a rat's a** WHAT kind of day I have had. Very few really want to hear how dad REALLY is. And no one REALLY wants to help. And you know what? I think I understand.
Humans cannot be counted on. In my opinion, ever. But the baking and cooking and canning? Always the same. Constant. Never talks back. Never gets grumpy. And if I say so myself, my pints of pickled beets are simply GORGEOUS on the shelf. Now if you will excuse me, I am fixin' to poach some pears...
...lil' deb
Yesterday, pastor's wife called. One of our parishoners (age 75?) fell and broke 3 ribs. Could I whip up a covered dish to take? Pastor's wife would be by around 4, and it was 10 when she called. At 4 o'clock, I had: Homemade macaroni and cheese, chicken pasta alfredo, bakin' powder biscuits, honey butter and an apple pie...all ready to be picked up.
See, I cook and bake (and pray) because it's always the same. I never know what I'm gonna get with humans. Right, ibake? "Hi, honey! How was your day?" might elicit a kiss and a smile, or a grumpous grouchous response. To 12 yr old, "I made pie!" might get a "YUM!" or a "You didn't make apple again, did you?" and of course, the real wild card - dad. "Look dad! I made you an apple pie!" may very well get a blank stare or "I want cherry!" I bake and cook because it makes ME happy.
Throughout this entire experience with daddy, I have learned so much about people that I never wanted to learn. I know now that not very many people really give a rat's a** WHAT kind of day I have had. Very few really want to hear how dad REALLY is. And no one REALLY wants to help. And you know what? I think I understand.
Humans cannot be counted on. In my opinion, ever. But the baking and cooking and canning? Always the same. Constant. Never talks back. Never gets grumpy. And if I say so myself, my pints of pickled beets are simply GORGEOUS on the shelf. Now if you will excuse me, I am fixin' to poach some pears...
...lil' deb
Martha H
10-14-2008, 06:09 PM
You mean there are more than one kind of flour???
skimps46
10-14-2008, 06:52 PM
Bwahahaha, Martha! Of course! I have AP (all purpose) flour, bread flour (milled finer and softer), whole wheat flour, rye flour, and I think I still have some oat flour. All make yummy bread.
I also have 5 kinds of sugar. Regular sugar, raw sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, that fancy new sweetner made from sugar but without calories.
Don't even ASK how many kinds of tea I have. Probably 15...maybe more. It gets COLD here in Denver, and we all drink hot tea at night.
C'mon over, Martha! We can make cinnamon rolls together, using any of my flour (rye - not so good), and we'll brew up a lovely cup of tea...
...lil' deb
I also have 5 kinds of sugar. Regular sugar, raw sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, that fancy new sweetner made from sugar but without calories.
Don't even ASK how many kinds of tea I have. Probably 15...maybe more. It gets COLD here in Denver, and we all drink hot tea at night.
C'mon over, Martha! We can make cinnamon rolls together, using any of my flour (rye - not so good), and we'll brew up a lovely cup of tea...
...lil' deb
Drews Gram
10-14-2008, 06:55 PM
My thoughts exactly Martha..................ibake is really a pro at this baking stuff. Little deb is really rubbing it in. Isn't she?? :D I wish she were my neighbor. LOL OK I give. I should have never started this line. I'm feeling worse every time I get on here.
Love you ladies.
Chris
Love you ladies.
Chris
skimps46
10-14-2008, 07:32 PM
Awww. Now I feel bad. I not mean to rub it in. It's just where I feel the most comfortable - in the kitchen.
I wish I didn't know how to cook and bake so well. It's another area you can be "depended" upon...but it is a gift.
I won't say another word about cooking, baking, preserving or canning. I will just go sew something, and shut my mouth. Right after I paint something. And roll out my cinnamon rolls. :)
LOVE ALL YOU LADIES!!!
...lil' deb
I wish I didn't know how to cook and bake so well. It's another area you can be "depended" upon...but it is a gift.
I won't say another word about cooking, baking, preserving or canning. I will just go sew something, and shut my mouth. Right after I paint something. And roll out my cinnamon rolls. :)
LOVE ALL YOU LADIES!!!
...lil' deb
DGabriel10
10-14-2008, 09:43 PM
I hate I was busy today and missed this thread until now. Yes, I love to bake and cook and can and freeze. Those cute little bags of corn or beans and those amazing jars of fruits and veggies do NOT talk back except the adorable little pops the jar lids make when they seal. It's music that says you did something well.
I have all those flours but I don't bake like I used to. I kept my sour dough starter for year and years. I lost it the week we moved Mom and Dad into AL because I was not home to feed it. When I went on a diet I gave up baking for the sake of baking because I was not wearing it well and it was not agreeable with my blood sugar levels.
Like I bake I have cooked/baked as long as I can remember. Mom would start something in the morning and I would finish it when I got home from school I was always in the kitchen with her. The first full meal I did all by myself was a complete turkey dinner for 6 people when I was in the 9th grade. Since Mom no longer cooks when we get together for the holidays, the nieces whine until I agree to make the turkey and trimmings... and the homemade mac and cheese. I think part of the problem between me and my MIL is that my hubby told her I fried chicken better than she did. OOPS!!! I also learned to can and freeze from my Mom when I was too short to reach the sink without a stool.
My daughter cooks better than I do. I'm a good old southern cook and she's turned somewhere between gormet and organic on me. Her boyfriend is Hawaiian so he has added another flavor to our menue. Beyond that they both love ethnic foods. Chinese and Mexican were always on my list but now they have added Thi and Indian and.... anything but tofu!!!
As for the wine... how many gallons then? No, not gallons, 5 gallon carboys. I have peach, muscadine, Concord Catawba Grape mix, elderberry (never again because elderberries have a gum that sticks to everything), blackberry, and something he calls apple brandy. The muscadine is the best :)
I'm with little deb.... I have a pair of jeans to hem. They fit like a dream but were longs... and on sale for $6.00. Snip Snip Stich Stich and I saved myself $30! My next project is to finish dressing Mom's naked porcelain baby dolls. She made and dressed enough for all 4 daughter and 6 granddaughters to hae 2 or 3 each and then gave away many. Her doll making buddy was going out of business so she made probably 40 more dolls but then lost her ability to sew. I want to finish them for her......
Love, deb
I have all those flours but I don't bake like I used to. I kept my sour dough starter for year and years. I lost it the week we moved Mom and Dad into AL because I was not home to feed it. When I went on a diet I gave up baking for the sake of baking because I was not wearing it well and it was not agreeable with my blood sugar levels.
Like I bake I have cooked/baked as long as I can remember. Mom would start something in the morning and I would finish it when I got home from school I was always in the kitchen with her. The first full meal I did all by myself was a complete turkey dinner for 6 people when I was in the 9th grade. Since Mom no longer cooks when we get together for the holidays, the nieces whine until I agree to make the turkey and trimmings... and the homemade mac and cheese. I think part of the problem between me and my MIL is that my hubby told her I fried chicken better than she did. OOPS!!! I also learned to can and freeze from my Mom when I was too short to reach the sink without a stool.
My daughter cooks better than I do. I'm a good old southern cook and she's turned somewhere between gormet and organic on me. Her boyfriend is Hawaiian so he has added another flavor to our menue. Beyond that they both love ethnic foods. Chinese and Mexican were always on my list but now they have added Thi and Indian and.... anything but tofu!!!
As for the wine... how many gallons then? No, not gallons, 5 gallon carboys. I have peach, muscadine, Concord Catawba Grape mix, elderberry (never again because elderberries have a gum that sticks to everything), blackberry, and something he calls apple brandy. The muscadine is the best :)
I'm with little deb.... I have a pair of jeans to hem. They fit like a dream but were longs... and on sale for $6.00. Snip Snip Stich Stich and I saved myself $30! My next project is to finish dressing Mom's naked porcelain baby dolls. She made and dressed enough for all 4 daughter and 6 granddaughters to hae 2 or 3 each and then gave away many. Her doll making buddy was going out of business so she made probably 40 more dolls but then lost her ability to sew. I want to finish them for her......
Love, deb
ibake&pray
10-15-2008, 11:34 AM
I did 12 qts. of applesauce lasat night. (at this rate there will be 30 qts before I'm done).
I prefer Dakota Maid flour to most any brand and have hauled it in many a suitcase. I have pastry flour, bread, cake, rice, whole wheat, white whole wheat, bran, cake, plain old normal,spelt, pumpernickel,rye, light and dark, oh dear that sounds like I need to bake....
But I have half of a set of curtains for the little grandson's window to finish, two baby quilts to make-one plain and one really special as it's my boss' first grandchild to make. But I have til January for that one. But I still have to work....
And then my child who's not talking to me has the gall to say to me, can't you make something without nuts?Children..they taste just like chicken.
My hubby told me I cooked better than his mother. I almost hit him. ANYBODY cooks better than his mother. This is the woman that poured three bottles of wine together-one red, one white, one grape...but don't worry, they're all Mogan David aiy aiyaiaayaaaayyyy.
I prefer Dakota Maid flour to most any brand and have hauled it in many a suitcase. I have pastry flour, bread, cake, rice, whole wheat, white whole wheat, bran, cake, plain old normal,spelt, pumpernickel,rye, light and dark, oh dear that sounds like I need to bake....
But I have half of a set of curtains for the little grandson's window to finish, two baby quilts to make-one plain and one really special as it's my boss' first grandchild to make. But I have til January for that one. But I still have to work....
And then my child who's not talking to me has the gall to say to me, can't you make something without nuts?Children..they taste just like chicken.
My hubby told me I cooked better than his mother. I almost hit him. ANYBODY cooks better than his mother. This is the woman that poured three bottles of wine together-one red, one white, one grape...but don't worry, they're all Mogan David aiy aiyaiaayaaaayyyy.
skimps46
10-15-2008, 01:17 PM
Oh, ibake. You crack me up.
The "children...they taste just like chicken" reminds me of a sign I have in my kitchen. My kids hate the sign, and someday, I would bet it will simply disappear. But it's a favorite of mine, and keeps 'em in line a bit...
"Now I see why most animals eat their young"
I crack myself up, too!
Your ungrateful "..please make me something without nuts..." child - we all have at least one of those kids. The 12 yr old in my house (double love this boy - he's my baby and an unexpected gift from God) often asks what's for supper. And if I say something like, "Chicken with homemade noodles soup, cherry pie and homemade bread", he will wrinkle his cute little nose up and ask, "Can I have something else?" Elevates my blood pressure, I tell ya'.
...lil' deb
The "children...they taste just like chicken" reminds me of a sign I have in my kitchen. My kids hate the sign, and someday, I would bet it will simply disappear. But it's a favorite of mine, and keeps 'em in line a bit...
"Now I see why most animals eat their young"
I crack myself up, too!
Your ungrateful "..please make me something without nuts..." child - we all have at least one of those kids. The 12 yr old in my house (double love this boy - he's my baby and an unexpected gift from God) often asks what's for supper. And if I say something like, "Chicken with homemade noodles soup, cherry pie and homemade bread", he will wrinkle his cute little nose up and ask, "Can I have something else?" Elevates my blood pressure, I tell ya'.
...lil' deb
ibake&pray
10-15-2008, 02:27 PM
I don't usually get the please....
My favorite threat to them growing up was " Death would be preferable to what I can plan for you." Worked until the oldest got taller than me. Now I tell him "I'm older and meaner than you EVER though of being in your entire life." He smiles at me- and this one has a smile that melts stones- and says "That I believe."
My favorite threat to them growing up was " Death would be preferable to what I can plan for you." Worked until the oldest got taller than me. Now I tell him "I'm older and meaner than you EVER though of being in your entire life." He smiles at me- and this one has a smile that melts stones- and says "That I believe."
DGabriel10
10-16-2008, 12:40 AM
OH MY!!!! Children taste like chicken. I am glad my parents can't hear with their hearing aids off or they would have been woken up by that road or laughter I just let out. My chicken tasty child actually redeemed herself today when I dialed her number instead of sister 3's and just spouted about five statements into the phone. Now calm down Mom... in 20 years is this really going to be that important? Then we had a nice talk and she went back to her studies and I called sister 3. I was rational enough by then that we came up with solutions instead of just ranting :)
My MIL is an ok cook but doesn't like to cook so going out was more her cut of tea. She definitely knows not to mix wines and MD would NEVER be in her house!! ....... and my fried chicken IS better than hers :)
Love, deb
My MIL is an ok cook but doesn't like to cook so going out was more her cut of tea. She definitely knows not to mix wines and MD would NEVER be in her house!! ....... and my fried chicken IS better than hers :)
Love, deb