Good Friday Morning - just wondering if anyone watched Friends last night? The episode ended with me in tears when Monica got the news and just held her husband. Kudos to the producers for bringing reality to the show! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

I guess my post is somewhat inspired by that episode, but also with Tessa's venting post. I hope you feel better soon, Tessa - I can only imagine how upset you are. I'm so sorry about the cancelled IUI. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

I wanted to post my thoughts also because I'm feeling very thankful for all of you (these meds make me incredibly sappy, I've cried 3x this morning). I just want all of you to know that I'm tired of all of this infertility crap too. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I don't like that I have to limit my java to only a cup a day, I don't like that I can't enjoy as many glasses of wine that I want, I don't like that I can't give my husband a child naturally, but instead with medical help and yet I still get BFN's. I HATE building my hopes up with imagined bogus pregnany symptons each and every month only to get my heart broken with no results at the end. I hate that my insurance company - the insurance company I work for - won't even cover my infertility drugs and I hate that they've put a limit of $1500 on my treatment (what is this?? Like 2 ultrasounds? I know its not, I'm just being sarcastic). I hate even more that they won't pay for IVF, but yet to save money in the end, they will pay for a woman to terminate a miracle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to a woman's choice - but it just hits me the wrong way to know the reasoning behind the insurance's intent of payment.

But you know what? When I look at my husband, I see him holding our baby and this keeps me going. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Then I come to this board and find comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in the way that I feel and its okay that I feel this way.

So I just want to thank all of you for keeping me going. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hey mama.....Yes I too saw friends and I also was crying my eyes out..........

I have to agree that it hit so close to home......I really fall back on this message board and talking with everyone...I get soo excited when I see that someone has been able to achieve their dream and I too know that one day I will.

I can relate with the feelings of wanting to give your husband a child and I feel so bad that I cannot do this naturally. I often sometimes feel like I am such a failure but then I remember a posting that someone put up about us making it through if we are brought to it..(Of course thats not exactly how it goes....)

I am thankful that I am able to vent, laugh and cry with all of you ladies.....Thanks !!!

Me too, Snoop http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

I saw Friends yesterday night, momma! I thought it was so touching and their reaction was very realistic...of course, I was in tears...

momma, I am so thankful to this board too! I feel you guys so close, like really really close friends, that I can trust and that can totally understand me! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif sometimes, I totally forget that I have never seen any of you (and probably never will)...but that doesn´t matter, b/c we understand each other deeply...sometimes I see my feelings expressed in somebody else´s post...and I think it is amazing! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Minouche - that is so true! I'm finding myself talking about each and everyone of you to my hubby and to my other friends. It is amazing that so much of what I feel is expressed through others on this board.
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif That is a wonderful feeling!

hey momma..., what's this ----- venting ??!!!

cheer up !! aren't you fixing to go through your IUI soon........ what happened on friends.... I watch it but i missed it last night !! You have to stay postive -- especially right now...... get off this board and stop thinking about it so much.. you are driving yourself crazy !!! the more you think the more you stress !!!! not good !!

my insurance doesn't pay for anything neither -- really sucks huh ??? But do you want to hear my good news ---------- ok ......

I went to the RE yesterday to check on IVF.... The cost of IVF is about 10,000 ..... well they asked me if I wanted to be in a special study... they pick about 8 women to be in this study... she explained everything to me and it sounds really good. I will have go to the doctor more for u/s. It's a study on the drugs -- bravella and gonal f.... have you heard of them ???? I have heard of gonal f more but I've
seen bravella on the board. They will pay for my med's and 3,000.00 sooooooo the IVF will only cost me 5,000.00 plus my donor !!!!!! I will be doing this in july !!! I start my next cycle --- i have to go in for a u/s and then I am put on BC. I can't wait !!!

my RE said that this will double my chance. Your RE problably has infor... on different programs toooo but you don't need to look into this because it's gonna work for you this time BFP BFP +++++++++.

WOW!!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif That is awesome, Shanel!!!! Good for you!!! SEE?! Its gonna happen for you! This is like fate - you know?!

YAY! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bouncing.gif

I'm trying not to stress or think, but its tough.

Lisa- I can't tell you how blown away I was by Friends. That show has parrelled my life for about 4 years now. Remeber when Chandler and Monica were seeing each other on the sneak. Me and my DH were also. We had broken up and then we got back together and I wasn't sure if we would stay together so I didn't tell anyone we were together. Then of couse everyone found out on Friends about Monica and Chandler my friends found out about me. We got engaged Monica and Chandler did and then when we got married Monica and Chandler did and now were have been trying over a year and are having problems and Monica and Chandler are. My girlfriends want to know if I secretly writing for the show.

On a sadder note, my Kitty is in the hospital with a liver problem. I know this may sound ridiculous to some but when you don't have children your pets are like family. They say the stress of my move may have brought it on and I feel horrible. They are the ones that comfort me thru this. His 2 brothers are lost without him. I hope he will be all right. I have to call a little later and see how he is doing. I feel like I am getting my period and I woke up with horrible pelvic pain. I can't take this much more. I need HAPPY news.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Tina

Didn't see friends last night. What happened???

I love everyone on this board. You guys have pulled me through some hard times and I have learned so much about ttc. I hope we all stay in touch and I hope and pray every night that we all get preg!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone!!

Tina - I'm so sorry about Kitty. I understand what you mean about your pets being your children. Ginger and Jerry are my babies and they mean so much to me. They are getting older and I'm not sure what we're going to do when they leave us. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

I pray for Kitty. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif

Hi Tmer! Monica and Chandler went for infertility workups and at the end they got the results - Monica has a hostile environment for Chandlers sperm and Chandler's guys had slow motility. He said a pretty touching thing and it was like, "It means that we can keep trying, but there is a possibility that it may never happen for us."

And they held each other. It was wonderful!

awwwwwww -- I missed it !!! I love friends !

so momma are you feeling better now !! hope so !! its friday ---- You have a nice weekend ! when is your IUI --- i'll say my prayers -- don't worry -- you are always included !! have a good one and TAKE it on the light side http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

Awww Teener,

Your poor kitty! I hope she is ok. My DD's hamster died 2 years ago and I cried like a baby. Made my DH (boyfriend at the time) bury him. Bought a new one for DD this easter and DH said "Oh no, I can't bury another one!" We are such animal lovers and we consider all of them our kids. We kiss and hug them and miss them when we are away. I will say a special prayer for kitty tonight. I have a statue of St. Francis on the desk so I will say the prayer near him.

Ooh forgot,

Good job skysam!! so excited you are going to save some money. You can use that money for maternity clothes!! Good luck.....someone is looking down on you, that is obvious!!

Momma

Don't forget, that no matter how bad you feel, you are still providing hope and support for us other ladies when we need it. You've given me great advice but I know that most times, it's difficult for us to follow our own advice.

When Skysam said to try not to think about it so much I found myself agreeing with her, but am finding it absolutely impossible to not think about it. I feel like my whole life has been taken over by this infertility rollercoaster and it's on my mind every waking minute. I'm sure it's having a bad effect on my health cos I've had no end of health problems this year, I'm even off work as we speak with gastroenteritis. But speaking with you guys is great, like a secret society!

Tina, I can't tell you how sorry I am about your kitty. I've always been passionate about animals and even work for an animal rescue charity. I've got my own cat Jack, who's now about 14. He was around a long time before my DH came on the scene and is such an integral part of my life that I get upset even thinking about losing him. Never having had any kids, I guess he's also like my surrogate baby - stupid as that might sound.

Momma, take care and just remember that at some point in the future you won't feel like this any more. None of us will, even if we haven't been able to achieve our dream.

Hugs
Clare
x

Awww, thanks Clare! I appreciate that.
Give Jack hugs http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Momma, I know just how you feel. Sometimes I get so upset that I can't conceive. People always say that I need to chill and it will happen, and I have nothing to back it up with like, "no, because THIS is wrong or THAT is wrong." All I can say is that the Dr's say its unexplained infertility. I want to rip my hair out. It so hard because I feel every month that I have a great chance of it happening, because there isn't a reason it shouldn't happen.Yet every month I ebd up with BFN. But boards like this make my life easier.
And I did see Friends last night. I watch it every Thursday and I have been waiting for the infertility thing to come up because I knew they had been trying for a while. Thing is, I have been trying for just over a year and when I hit 3-4 months into it is when I started panicing. Not just now! I guess that just goes to show how obsessive I am. Plus I was just thinking, well it could work with an IUI . . . Anyway. Just want you to know that I am right there with you!
Danielle

I just found a description for Friends next episode..check it out!

The One With The Donor

When Monica and Chandler learn of their chances for natural conception, they resort to interviewing unsuspecting male candidates to find the perfect match for one who could inseminate her. Elsewhere, Phoebe is in a dither about what to wear to a party where she will meet her ex-boyfriend Mike at least until she bumps into another "ex" in David. Meanwhile, Rachel finds herself being mean to Charlie because of their common romantic interest in Joey and Ross works hard on a boring lecture he hopes to present at a paleontology convention.

FYI, Courtney Cox in real life is battling infertility with her husband David. I believe they have done three IVF's, and her last one resulted in a miscarriage. I give her personally a lot of respect to bring this into the show, we all know how hard this can be, even if she doesn't have to worry about the money factor.

I too burst into tears when I watched Friends. It just brought back all the memories from the start of our journey three years ago. I'm glad a show is addressing the issue. Maybe it will educate others (you know, those fertile people) to be more sensitive. I'm glad I wasn't the only one crying!

mommywannabe, I too feel your pain. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past fours years. I too look at my husband holding our child. I go out and buy clothes, bottles etc... wishing one day too I will become that proud mother. The insurance my company has is almost like yours. (they suck). Keep me in your prayers to keep me going to. I really need the support. Anyone who cares please e-mail me or reply. Thank you.

I just posted on the Pregnancy board saying the same thing! Then I figured I'd pop on here and see if anyone mentioned it. I cried my eyes out.

I had an ectopic in December and from December to February, I believed I had blockage in my one remaining tube. Then I had an HSG that showed a clear path (thank God) but I'm still very worried about my outlook on TTC.

Friends has always been my fav TV show and has paralleled my life as well! Not the sneaking around, but we too were married the same week as Monica and Chandler. All their wedding planning was a great comic relief when we were stressing about that! And now this!

Just as Chandler embraced Monica and told her they would get through it no matter what, I looked over and my DH burst out into to tears. It was a night I will never forget! He is not the type to cry over a TV show. He cried about the loss of our pregnancy when it happened, but to see him so touched by the concept of "we're gonna get through this, right?" was a moment that will forever be in my memory. It hurt me to see him so upset, but yet it gave me the biggest sense of thankfulness that we are in this together and hope that we will get through this with a happy ending. . . just like Monica and Chandler. There's always a happy ending on TV, right?

Awww....curiouschick- you just made me tear up. I am kinda glad I missed it now. Not sure if I could have watched it without balling! Your DH sounds nice. Good luck with everything!

jody!
courtney cox is prego in real life!! I read it somewhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ....She was consulting fertility specialists as they quoted...but she is now pregnant from what I hear..

I missed Friends, but I've taped it, but heard that it comes on late, so odds are I missed most of it. You guys make me tear up just reading about it. I was so surprised that they would bring her real life into the show like that. Guess she won't have to do much acting. I do love that show, been watching it from the beginning, when I was in college, no one could call me from 8-8:30, because the world outside my tv didn't exist. DH started watching it just to make sure when it was over, then he got sucked in too.
Ahh the good old days. Blissful ignorance.
I love the board, so many of you ladies have the feelings that I've been having, with you I realize I'm not crazy, that it's going to be ok. I have you to get me through this. We ought to tell Courtney about this board!! I find I talk about you girls to my other friends like I've known you for years instead of a month. Guess that's the connection we experience.
As for Tina, I'm praying for your Kitty hon. My animals are my babies, my dog, truly my best friend. When I'm upset, Fina will come and let me hug her and lick my tears away. I want another but Eric says we have to lose one (NOT AN OPTION) or get a bigger house, I'm praying for raise for bigger house!! Already the animals outnumber the humans. But isn't that the way it is in nature! I don't know what I'd do without one of my babies. I'd be in mourning longer than for most of the humans I know. I guess it's their unconditional love that makes us care for them so, especially while we wait for that other great love.
Baby dust and prayers to all of you.
Thanks for being there and listening to me go on and on.
C