I was just reading past posts and I saw that you were a poor responder to injectables. You asked me to share my story...do you still want it? It's kinda depressing.

I did injections three times (after 6 rounds of clomid w/ poor response and a failed IUI). The first time, 2 amps of Repronex w/ IUI. No real response, no pregnancy. The second time, 2 amps Repronex and 4 amps Gonal F. I had a horrible reaction, was psychotic with my moods, and had incredible vomitting. RE thought maybe it was the gonal f, so switched me to 6 amps of Repronex. Still the same. Lots of barfing. Cycle was cancelled on day 10 due to the vomitting and no reponse, but I kept vomitting for the next TEN days. (I guess it's one way to diet http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif )Third time on injections (we were hoping round 2 was the flu and not a bad reaction), I started with 6 amps of Repronex, and within 12 hours, I was puking my guts up for the next three days. Cycle cancelled.

None of the times I did the injections gave us a response anyway. Only once did I get one small follicle. Pretty sad. Our next step is donor egg.

So that's it in a nutshell. Please ask if you have any other questions! I am glad to help and give my story.

MrsR

Thanks for sharing and I am so sorry that you have not had better results!! I am wondering if you had a bad reaction to the repronex and not the gonal. My last RE said that many people do not respond well to the repronex (the side effects) and he was happy that I was ok with it. My new RE mentioned the same thing. Asked if I "handled" the repronex ok. She is going to put me on it again with something other than the follistim. Maybe gonal-f or Bravelle. Not sure yet. I am terrified and keep having dreams that they tell me I will not be able to use my own eggs!! It is a very hard decision to decide to use donor eggs and I am so proud of you for being able to go forward with it- plus it is very expensive!! Not that it is any of my business nor am I a Dr. but did you seek a second opinion as to why such a bad reaction to the drugs?? My first RE had a great reputation (I found out only for the younger women he treated) and never felt really comfortable with him and now am going with a new RE that I have to pay for but I think when you are in the predicament we are all in you just have to say "what the hell" and go for it. I wish you much luck in your journey and again thank you so much for sharing.

I am not sure if I am able to go through with the donor egg thing. I am terrified of losing my heredity. Plus dh and I share a lot of the same features (both pretty ethnic looking, both from Russian backgrounds), and I always thought our child would be so cute...big brown eyes, long eye lashes, very dark curly hair, etc. It terrifies me to think that may not happen. I am scared that I won't bond with the child because I won't feel like it is part of me. People say that won't happen, but I know myself, and it scares me that it is a possibility. (No, not saying that will happen, just the idea of it is unsettling.)

When I did the first round of injections, I was fine on the Repronex, just didn't respond. When we added the gonal f, I got really sick, so my RE thought it was that. When we changed to all Repronex, I still got very sick. That is why we gave it the third try, but my RE thinks I am allergic to a compound in the injection--not the hormone itself.

MrsR

I completely understand your fears with egg donation. I have not even brought up the subject to my DH because I already know the answer. He is 100% italian and the fact that he is unable to father a child right now is devastating. Even though we have male and female factor, I know that he blames alot on himself. I know in my heart that if we are unable to conceive on our own, there will be no children through donor eggs or adoption. I actually think that I would rather adopt than use donor eggs, don't know why but that is the way I feel. I have watched several shows on adoption and all the couples feel the same way. They wonder if they can love the child as much as if was their own and they do. They say that something overcomes you when you hold the child for the first time. Gosh, I wish I could give you some comfort for your situation right now. Have you done any searches on the net to see if anyone else had the same reaction and what they did?? I am hoping that they can find the right combination for you. Are you in a holding pattern right now or are you ttc naturally??

Your words are very kind, and I appreciate them so much. Something kinda different...my dh is all for the egg donor route. I think he would feel differently if it was donor sperm, and even told him that. But he disagrees. Fortunately we don't have a male factor to worry about.

Right now we are trying on our own, and then going to the new RE in a few weeks. We know there is almost no chance of us conceiving on our own. I am hoping the new doc will have a new protocol or something else for us to try before he says DE. It took me a while to make the call to get into the new RE because I am so scared he will look at my files and records and say, "Well, the old RE is right...donor egg is your only chance for a baby."

Since I was gone for a bit, I kinda lost track. Tell me what you are doing right now and where you are in your cycle (you know, all the "stuff").

MrsR

I know things look grim right now but wait until you see the new RE before giving up all hope! After a cancelled cycle due to low estrogen and poor response to my first round of injectibles I was devastated. I moped around for a week and then got mad. I never felt comfortable with my RE and decided to get a 2nd opinion. I really felt doomed after that cycle and went to the RE just knowing I would hear the same thing. This new Dr. is going to use a completely different approach and although I have alot of things going against me she seemed to be hopeful! My old RE had everyone on the same ritual. No matter what age, factors, etc. you all got on the same assembly line and some people made it and some did not. I too sometimes lose faith and want to say "f-it" it is never going to happen for me but then you hear stories about people who gave it one more go and they get preg. Before I ramble on forever, please keep the faith until your appt. You might be pleasantly surprised like I was. I will be saying a special prayer for you. I go on Tues with DH for our IVF consult. She will be starting with injectibles. No bcp or lupron for me. 10 amps to start with and we will just take it from there. If I do not produce enough eggs she will try and salvage the cycle with an IUI. I will let you know how things go. Let me know how you make out with your appt.!! Good luck- I will be rooting for you.

t,
You are so sweet! Thank you for being my personal cheerleader. And I've got your back! I am rooting for you too.

I try to stay up and positive, but it is hard--as we all know. I think one of the hardest things right now is that I feel so idle, you know? It's like we haven't been going through any treatments for a few months, so it is like we are at a standstill. Hopefully June 4 will come soon so I know what is in store for me!

Have a good day,
MrsR

Ok, so hopefully you and I will get good news next week. Keep me posted and don't give up hope. I will light a candle for you and I and of course Momma on Sunday!! Hope you have a nice holiday.