I actually didn't ball my eyes out, I think I did that last night. I'm unsettled, but not incredibly as empty as I thought I would feel. Maybe I'm still holding out for tomorrow's blood test - or maybe I sorta knew that this wasn't it. I just feel like curling right back into bed.

DH called this morning and said, "It sounds like you've been crying - LISA, HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING?"
When I told him not today but last night because of these cramps, he got annoyed. Then he got angry when I told him I broke down and tested. And then we ended the conversation like that. So I can't help but think that he's upset we're not pregnant - yet again.

Lisa,
I'm SO sorry it was a BFN.
You tested a bit early, and there is still that smidgeon of hope. OK, so you don't break out the wine until Monday, just in case. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I'm still carrying that bit of hope for you too! Do you temp? Is it still high?

No doubt DH was a touch saddened by the news. He probably wants this as much as you do, as much as we all want it for you. I don't think he'll be angry for long. Yours sounds like such a great guy he's probably mostly angry, not at you for testing today, but at himself because he can't be there with you during this time. He knows it's the hardest time, and it's better for you both to go through this together.
This is the hardest part, and you need each other. But, since he's not around today, you know we're here.
Again, I'm so sorry.
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif Cathy

Oh Momma I am so sorry, But you know I was reading on the HPT I bought and it says that in studies the test only detected the hormone levels in 52% 3 days before AF and 69% 2days before AF and 86% 1 day before AF. So it may be wrong don't give up yet you still have one day. You may get that BFP and if not you can try again. Your HCG levels may not be strong enough for the HPT to detect yet. Keep praying and thinking pregnant thoughts until tomorrow. Let us know as soon as posible what the results are. I will be praying for you all day. Good luck Momma. I'm sure that DH isn't mad at you and if he's anything like my DH he can't stand to see or hear you cry.

Kelly

Hi Cathy -
Thanks for your support - I didn't start crying until I read your reply http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif and I think that now it is starting to sink in that we're really not pregnant and that that "nausea" was made up in my head. I actually go in tomorrow for blood, so I'm really thinking that its not too soon - after all, we've had lots of girls on this board test before their blood and get + , but you are right, there is still that smidgeon of hope.

Thanks again http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Hi Kelly -
Thanks for that, but I really have NO hope right now that this is too soon. I hate to sound negative because this is just not me, but around this time of the month, negativity takes over.

It'll be okay though, just not right now. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Can't wait to hear your BFP news on Tuesday!!!!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Oh God!! I rushed home from dropping DD off at horeseback riding and actually was afraid to look once I logged on!! I didn't want to see those words-BFN. Momma, I am just sick and sad for you. You have been so positive and are such an incredible person. I don't know why God didn't give you a child this month. No words can comfort you right now but just know that your chances increase with every IUI!! IT IS going to happen just not this month. Hopefully you can start right back up again and try again. You and I will be on the same cycle and we will both pray like the dickens together. I am sure your DH is so frustrated and sad that he is not there wit you. I bet he calls you back and apologizes and says "Don't worry babe, we will try again this month" We all know what a sweetheart he is. Emotions are running high right now for you and him. Wish there was something I could do for you. I am sending you the biggest longest (((HUG))). We are here for you and will help however we can. Sending lots of love your way! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Hi TMER - DH did call me back and encourage me that it would just take more time. Unfortunately we are going to have to skip this next cycle - we go away to St.Louis June 13-21st for a big family lake trip. I mean, it could be possible if they excelled everyting to make sure that my follies grew - I already figured it out, if the *itch came on Monday then if all goes the way it did with this last cycle, then IUIs would be scheduled that Tuesday&Wednesday before we fly out that Friday. I'm gonna talk to the nurse and see what she says. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif That would be pretty cool if it worked out perfect like that. I just wouldn't be able to get my progesterone check until that Sunday we were back.

HEY! MAYBE THIS WILL WORK OUT!

That way I'll have my 3rd IUI over and done with and if that is not a success, we can jump into discussing other options - which might be another lap for me http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

I'm feeling better though! Thanks for my hug TMER. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

[This message has been edited by mommawannabee (edited 05-24-2003).]

(((( MOMMA ))))

It aint over till its over ! the witch has not offically dropped by ! This crazy roller coaster is so difficult some times and the TTW brutal because we all end up analyzing every breath we take hoping and praying that it is a sign that at long last the one thing we have all hoped for that the BFP finally has occured. I hope and pray that you get better news tomorrow from that blood test. If not than I am so glad you are already looking towards the future of trying for the next cycle . I keep reminding myself that although all of us gals here on the board share a difficult common bond - at least we are in good company . Hang in there momma !
P.S. - i'm really a Lisa too .
xxoox Old Flo

Hi Momma,

I just lurk on this board, but I've been following your story and was rooting for you as well. With my 2nd IUI I did an HPT the day before my blood test as well and it showed up negative. I went for my blood test, took it, went to work and when I got home that day the message from the doctor's office said my blood test came back positive. I ended up miscarrying, but my point is my HPT was wrong. It sounds like you tested sometime late in the day yesterday? When I took my hpt I took it late in the day. They say it's best to take it with first morning's urine. There is still hope, but if it is negative you know you'll get right back in there and keep trying.

Stay strong!
Kerri

Lisa http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif and Kerri:
thanks for your support - you girls are just wonderful. I'm glad I took the test this morning because if I get different news tomorrow, I will just be in disbelief. But I feel in the best company when I come to this board - it keeps me goin'!

Kerri-your story is inspiring - I hope that what happened to you happens for me. If not, I'll be okay with it. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I'm only hoping they let me do another one back to back.

I am so sorry to hear the news. I was stuck at the drs for four hours, and worried about your results the whole time.

It sounds like you aren't letting it get you too down. Hopefully AF will be here ASAP so you can try again.

Maybe you'll be able to break into the wine for Memorial day (I know that its little consolation). Again I am very sorry.

Alisa

Sorry to hear the bad news. Hopefully 3rd iui will work. Or mabey move on to ivf. Glad to see you are staying sooooo positive. Keep it up.

Alisa - you're such a sweetie - thinking of me. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love1.gif I am hoping AF comes soon too, think I will stop the progesterone before I get my bloodwork back, hopefully she'll come quicker.

Boundi - thanks for your thoughts and well wishes.

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Lisa,
I wish I could offer you some sage advise... I was praying for you to be successful this time.

I won't cliche you to death, cause they don't make anyone feel better...

Big hugs to you...
Beth

Thanks Beth - I appreciate your hugs. I was praying for success on this one too, but I suppose things just weren't right for it to happen this month.

I'm gonna try again - nothing else to do but that. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
thanks again.

How are you feeling?! Give your belly a rub for me - are you pokin' out yet?

I have been doing ok..
My mom passed away on Wednesday, so I have been a bit sad lately...

I am a bit too fat to show yet.. I don't expect to show for quite awhile...

I am still keeping my fingers crossed for you.. it will happen...
Beth

Momma, I am sorry for the BFN, I am feeling so sad for you. You should hold on until you get your test results back. I still see some hope for you.
If not this month for sure it should be the coming one ! As they say third one is charm. You are so kind and nice person, GOD must be thinking something for you and I hope you will soon see. We are here always for you so be sure to share all your joy and sorrow with us.

I will be having my 3rd IUI on this monday. I had my US today...I have one follie which is 19.5 mm and other 3 (10mm, 12mm, 14mm)medium in size. RE said the large one looks good. I am hoping for this month. I have been praying every day and I have you in my prayers.
Do keep us posted.
I am sending you GOOD LUCK for your test tomorrow !
Jeena

Momma ***you are not convincing me it's negative until that blood test comes back. There is a chance it's going to come out to be positive. I'm not giving up and I hope you don't either. I'm going to keep praying today for that BFP!

Beth -I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif That makes me so terribly sad. I'm grieving with you and praying that you pull through this with lots of strength.

Jeena- Thanks so much for your prayers, but don't be sad! You've got great follies there http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I wish you lots of luck on Monday.

Sunny - I know that there is that chance-small as it may be...its hard to hang in there, but I'm trying. I've got the Xterra all gassed up for my trip to the lab tomorrow bright and early.

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Momma-

Very sorry to hear about the HPT,but it's not over til it's over. Maybe you'll get a better result tomorrow. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If not this month, you mentioned something about a vacation. Maybe that's just what you both need to help you relax a little bit. They say that that's when things work best. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Momma,

Sorry to hear about your BFN ~ never give up though until AF comes. Sorry DH is anry ~ I don't think he is angry b/c you are not pg, probably angry at himself b/c he can't be there for you when you are so upset.

Let us know how the blood test goes tomoorw. I am so sorry that you got the negative. I almost forgot that today was the day you were testing so even though it is late, I had to get on and check and let you know that if it is a true negative we are all here for you as your support team.

Amy

Momma ----- I've been thinking of you all weekend --
I just couldn't get you off my mind --- I am just coming back to work today. I am so sorry to hear about your BFN ---- Please keep your chin up ---- It will happen for you --- http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif I am here for you -- and just know that you are in my thoughts.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

[This message has been edited by skysam (edited 05-27-2003).]

Thanks ladies! I'm okay now. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

momma,

I am really sorry to hear about your BFN.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

lots of baby dust for you! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Minouche