Madalot
10-30-2008, 10:56 AM
I really don't know where else to post this and I'm not really looking for answers, more of just a place to vent where people can understand what I'm saying and why.
Life is the way it is for all of us and we all have to face problems and various crisis from time to time.
Although nothing is definite, there is a good possibility that a close family member is going to be diagnosed with cancer (again) and have to go through surgery and chemo.
If I didn't have this stupid Muscular Dystrophy, I would do so much to help -- cooking, cleaning, etc. But I am so limited in what *I* can do that I just don't feel like I'm much help in family emergencies. And while I know that they "appear" to understand that I really can't help that much, there is a part of them that doesn't 100% believe that I am as disabled as I claim to be.
But this really isn't about me and I need to be supportive of my family during this medical crisis. And that's exactly what I want to do, and will do, but have to be realistic about my ability to help.
I am just curious if anyone else has experienced this feeling of being useless when other people need help.
Life is the way it is for all of us and we all have to face problems and various crisis from time to time.
Although nothing is definite, there is a good possibility that a close family member is going to be diagnosed with cancer (again) and have to go through surgery and chemo.
If I didn't have this stupid Muscular Dystrophy, I would do so much to help -- cooking, cleaning, etc. But I am so limited in what *I* can do that I just don't feel like I'm much help in family emergencies. And while I know that they "appear" to understand that I really can't help that much, there is a part of them that doesn't 100% believe that I am as disabled as I claim to be.
But this really isn't about me and I need to be supportive of my family during this medical crisis. And that's exactly what I want to do, and will do, but have to be realistic about my ability to help.
I am just curious if anyone else has experienced this feeling of being useless when other people need help.
Sponsor
michigani
10-31-2008, 03:04 PM
Kathy,
You said the same thing that's in my head all the time. I'm one of only 2 men in a family of many women and girls. I've always fixed everyone's plumbing, and cars and electrical problems. I was always glad to do it. Now I can't. Worse then that my mom and mother in law both need lots of help now that they are getting older and I can't offer any. I was driving my mom for along time but she has a walker and getting her in and out is torture! I'm glad when I can get myself somewhere without asking anyone. Now she's trying to hang on to me so she won't fall! Can you imagine?! I'd be offering help to friends and family everyday if I could. It's very frustrating and disheartening. I understand believe me!
You said the same thing that's in my head all the time. I'm one of only 2 men in a family of many women and girls. I've always fixed everyone's plumbing, and cars and electrical problems. I was always glad to do it. Now I can't. Worse then that my mom and mother in law both need lots of help now that they are getting older and I can't offer any. I was driving my mom for along time but she has a walker and getting her in and out is torture! I'm glad when I can get myself somewhere without asking anyone. Now she's trying to hang on to me so she won't fall! Can you imagine?! I'd be offering help to friends and family everyday if I could. It's very frustrating and disheartening. I understand believe me!
peachiemom
12-01-2008, 04:23 AM
I struggle with those feelings all the time. I try to redirect to things I can do, like make phone calls, email, create things on the computer, make scrapbooks for the ill or elderly to look at or make display family photo collages for family member funeral, graduations, etc. I volunteer with the PTO and do the website and all publications on the computer. Choose what your passion is and become an expert at it. That way you will have something to offer, that you can provide for people when things need done.
Jodie
Jodie
sarahJ74
04-25-2009, 04:07 AM
Jodie you have the best, uplifting comments :) I wish you lived next door :)
I feel very inadequate and useless a LOT of the time. I feel like I'm ALWAYs asking someone to do something for me but can't do much for others. It is hard. But Jodie is right. We all have something that we can do for others. Phone calls, cards, etc.. People need all kinds of help. Not just physical.
I feel very inadequate and useless a LOT of the time. I feel like I'm ALWAYs asking someone to do something for me but can't do much for others. It is hard. But Jodie is right. We all have something that we can do for others. Phone calls, cards, etc.. People need all kinds of help. Not just physical.