bobgracie
11-08-2008, 03:28 PM
what form of discipline is appropriate for a 15 mo old, he is too young to reason with, too young for time out, what do I do
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LauraLu
11-08-2008, 04:21 PM
I feel like I'm in the same boat as you right now with my 15 month old daughter. She likes to get into EVERYTHING.
You're absolutely right when you say that you cannot reason with a 15 month old. It won't work. I use very simple words. For example, our biggest issues are my dd putting her hands into the trash can, our drinks, or finding the stairs if we forget to put the gate up. I just say "No trash, no drink, or no stairs" very firmly and remove her. Distraction works best at this age.
If she keeps going back to it, then on occassion, I have given a light swat on the fingers with a firm "No," however she usually just looks at me and laughs. Go figure. I can't see hurting a baby out of her own curiousity. The first time I swatted her fingers I cried and she laughed! HA!
I say go with distraction and remove anything that you know will be tempting for him!
You're absolutely right when you say that you cannot reason with a 15 month old. It won't work. I use very simple words. For example, our biggest issues are my dd putting her hands into the trash can, our drinks, or finding the stairs if we forget to put the gate up. I just say "No trash, no drink, or no stairs" very firmly and remove her. Distraction works best at this age.
If she keeps going back to it, then on occassion, I have given a light swat on the fingers with a firm "No," however she usually just looks at me and laughs. Go figure. I can't see hurting a baby out of her own curiousity. The first time I swatted her fingers I cried and she laughed! HA!
I say go with distraction and remove anything that you know will be tempting for him!
megss
11-08-2008, 10:27 PM
I am having issues with this as well. Grace is 14 months and also getting into everything. We had a tree out on our enclosed porch all spring and summer, and I recently brought in the house because it is getting cold. Her favorite thing to do lately is to dig in the dirt. It makes such a mess, and gets stuck underneath her finger nails. Then she steps in it and tracks it all over the house. When ever I say "no Grace!" she also laughs at me. The other day I had just finished washing her hands, and before I knew it she was headed to the tree and made mud. She knows I don't like it, but yet she continues to do it. Today I was in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch. I started walking into the living room to check on her, and I heard her run away. I look over, and sure enough, there is a big pile of dirt on the floor. Then I have to wait until she goes to bed to vacuum, because it scares her so much! LOL! At least she understands that it is wrong, right? There is no where I can put that tree where she doesn't have access to it. I can't put it in the basement or else it will not get any sunlight.
The most effective form of discipline that I have found is to tell them with words, in a slightly stern voice, that it is wrong. Then show them something else that they are allowed to do or play with.
The most effective form of discipline that I have found is to tell them with words, in a slightly stern voice, that it is wrong. Then show them something else that they are allowed to do or play with.
doodlebugsmom
11-09-2008, 02:11 AM
Fifteen months is NOT too young for time outs. That's what we do. We tell our son to stop whatever he's doing that's undesirable. If he does it again we say, "Listen, if you do that ONE more time you're going to go have some chill out time." Then if he does it again he gets told, "You were warned, now you need to chill out for 5 minutes." Its not a time out so much as a few minutes in the playpen to try and have him forget what he was doing and redirect his attention. Most of the time, when he gets back out he doesn't continue the behavior that landed him there. As he gets older we'll begin TRUE timeouts.
katyhilton
11-09-2008, 02:20 AM
REAL discipline at such a young age is, in my opinion inappropriate and will only serve to confuse and scare your child. At this age I think you should tell a child no, then direct him towards a new activity. If he insists say no sternly and pick him up and move to another room so he gets the hint. I don't know what sort of misbehaving is going on... but with a child so young it is probably not intentional (unless he is super smart genius baby). If improper behavior occurs at any age because they don't "get it" then discipline should not me administered. If your child KNOWS what he is doing is wrong and has been explained to why it is wrong and is capable of comprehending the explanation he was given - THAT is when you start the time outs, go-to-your-room, no cartoons for you, spanking, or whatever discipline route you want to take. How you discipline is a personal choice and what works differs greatly from one child to the next even with siblings. It's all trial and error and what you are comfortable with. But again... if the kid don't understand he is doing something wrong you need to use it as an opportunity to start letting him know certain things are wrong/right. Once you know he "gets it" start slowly with the discipline... and see what is effective for both you and your child.
WhiskersOnKittens
11-09-2008, 03:27 PM
I've been having this discipline issue with my now 18mo for months. He's just a regular toddler who loves to get into everything, and recently he's begun doing things that he KNOWS we dissaprove of, because when he goes to do it, he'll look at us with an evil little smile on his face, and then do it. One is the tv--we'll be watching something, and he'll go right up to it and put his finger on the power button, then turn around and smile at us, and turn it off. He thinks it's a big joke, but it's starting to really get on my nerves! And no matter how many times I move him away and try to distract him with something else, if it's on his mind--he will definitely go back.
I doubt that he knows "why" we don't want him to be turning it off and on, but my thing is that I want him to begin understanding that what I say goes--whether he really understands or not (however cruel that seems).
Whiskers :)
I doubt that he knows "why" we don't want him to be turning it off and on, but my thing is that I want him to begin understanding that what I say goes--whether he really understands or not (however cruel that seems).
Whiskers :)
simplyheather
11-10-2008, 10:55 AM
Wow, I'll prolly sound like a terrible mother, but I swat my son. He is 15 months old, and he knows when he's doing something wrong. I tell him if he keeps doing it, then butts are going to be busted. I then start counting.. if I get to three, then he gets a swat on the leg (not really hard, but enough to feel it!), I take his binky (if he's got one in his mouth at the time) and then sit him in the middle of the floor with no toys and tell him why he got in trouble. Then after a minute of crying when he settles down (which is only about a minute), I ask for hugs, he gives them, and we move on, and hardly ever goes back to the thing he was getting in trouble for. He knows this will happen, so if he's doing something he shouldn't be, I give him enough chances but when I start counting... he knows what the means, and I hardly ever get past 2! I would say I only have to do this about twice a week, b/c he knows the consequences of not listening.
I have tried all the above mentioned tactics, and nothing works. He has his own mind and will do whatever he wants to. But I'm not going to have a kid that won't listen to me. I don't keep him from doing much, I let him explore all he wants, but what I say goes. Is that mean!?!?! haha I feel like a demon mother now! haha
I have tried all the above mentioned tactics, and nothing works. He has his own mind and will do whatever he wants to. But I'm not going to have a kid that won't listen to me. I don't keep him from doing much, I let him explore all he wants, but what I say goes. Is that mean!?!?! haha I feel like a demon mother now! haha
LauraLu
11-10-2008, 10:25 PM
Wow, I'll prolly sound like a terrible mother, but I swat my son. He is 15 months old, and he knows when he's doing something wrong. I tell him if he keeps doing it, then butts are going to be busted. I then start counting.. if I get to three, then he gets a swat on the leg (not really hard, but enough to feel it!), I take his binky (if he's got one in his mouth at the time) and then sit him in the middle of the floor with no toys and tell him why he got in trouble. Then after a minute of crying when he settles down (which is only about a minute), I ask for hugs, he gives them, and we move on, and hardly ever goes back to the thing he was getting in trouble for. He knows this will happen, so if he's doing something he shouldn't be, I give him enough chances but when I start counting... he knows what the means, and I hardly ever get past 2! I would say I only have to do this about twice a week, b/c he knows the consequences of not listening.
I have tried all the above mentioned tactics, and nothing works. He has his own mind and will do whatever he wants to. But I'm not going to have a kid that won't listen to me. I don't keep him from doing much, I let him explore all he wants, but what I say goes. Is that mean!?!?! haha I feel like a demon mother now! haha
I actually think this makes really good sense. Every parent is going to have the debate of whether or not to spank so I won't even go there. It's a personal choice and that's not what this post is about. I think it's great that your son is learning that when you start counting, that means it's time to stop. I absolutely do not think you are a terrible mother! In fact, I may even try this with my overly curious 15 month old!
I have tried all the above mentioned tactics, and nothing works. He has his own mind and will do whatever he wants to. But I'm not going to have a kid that won't listen to me. I don't keep him from doing much, I let him explore all he wants, but what I say goes. Is that mean!?!?! haha I feel like a demon mother now! haha
I actually think this makes really good sense. Every parent is going to have the debate of whether or not to spank so I won't even go there. It's a personal choice and that's not what this post is about. I think it's great that your son is learning that when you start counting, that means it's time to stop. I absolutely do not think you are a terrible mother! In fact, I may even try this with my overly curious 15 month old!
katyhilton
11-11-2008, 01:16 PM
I think what level/method of discipline is needed/effective varies greatly from child to child. I have 3 kids. My oldest who is 15 years old required rather harsh discipline because he was stubborn (and even that didn't really ever work). He would not listen to know... and he didn't mind spankings. When I spanked him he would seek revenge by acting out even worse. It was horrible. He was a tough case. Got worse as he got older. Then there is my 4 year old. You can just give him a dirty look and he will start apologizing and promising to behave. And it is not like he does anything that bad anyways. The worst he does is make a mess with his toys - and the rule id "if the mess is to large for you to handle picking up yourself - then you shouldn't have made it". He will just stop and say "Oh I deserve to go to my room - I will go have quiet time for awhile" - and off he goes to his room for 15 minutes. Once he made me really mad about an hour before bedtime - and he said crying - "I need to go to my room right now with no bedtime story or anything - I don't deserve a story or even a hug or kiss because I was so bad" Well I went in there and gave him a hug and kiss after 10 minutes anyway - but I did withhold the story. Then I have a 10 month old - I have no idea what's going to happen with him. He seems to be more into stuff than the 4 year old was. Unlike my oldest - My 4 year old... we never even had to put locks on cabinets or anything because we just told him no and he didn't go in there. He never pulled stuff from the fridge, or stuffed food in the DVD player... NEVER, he just didn't do it. No punishment required. BUT my first child sheesh - he would do it over and over no matter how many spanks or time-outs he got. Kids are so weird and different. You can't take one theory and apply it to different kids. We all respond differently to different stuff.
LauraLu
11-11-2008, 08:10 PM
Hi katyhilton,
You're absolutely right when you say that you can't take one theory and apply it to different kids. That's why it's great for asking advice on these boards from a variety of different sources. You can take what you like and discard the rest.
Also, disciplining a 15 month old is going to be much different than disciplining a 15 year old or 4 year old.
You're absolutely right when you say that you can't take one theory and apply it to different kids. That's why it's great for asking advice on these boards from a variety of different sources. You can take what you like and discard the rest.
Also, disciplining a 15 month old is going to be much different than disciplining a 15 year old or 4 year old.
Elliesmom
11-15-2008, 01:21 PM
I disagree that a 15 month old is too young for time out. My 15 month old twins are in time out (playpen with no toys) any time they repeatedly disobey "no." I do my best to redirect and avoid situations where I have to tell them "no," but when that fails - time out it is. Usually after a time out they forget what they were into and move on. I do not try to explain that the reason they can't climb the dollhouse is because they could fall and hurt themselves or that it is not a ladder - just a plain old "no" for now.