dreams in neon
11-19-2008, 05:04 AM
Hi everyone,
I've made up my mind and have decided to go for an inpatient assessment at a local psychiatric hospital tomorrow (Wednesday).
Given how much I've been rapid cycling for the past several weeks, I really need to do something to get it under control.
I'm hoping that by talking with a different pdoc I can find out what works, what doesn't work and why. Perhaps he/she can also give me a complete overhaul on my meds because something just isn't working.
While talking to my sister yesterday she said I was waaay manic and pointed out my rapid speech. That signaled to me that I'm still manic and really need to get some help.
I plan to ask the hospital for a day pass in order to see my pdoc on Friday. At that time I'm going to find out why he has only changed my meds ONCE during the entire year and a half that I've seen him. The last thing I want is for others to experience the same thing, so I plan to confront him (politely) to find out why he has been so negligent as far as my treatment is concerned.
I'll send all of you an update in a few days to let you know how I'm doing.
In the meantime, take care everyone and try to stay well.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
I've made up my mind and have decided to go for an inpatient assessment at a local psychiatric hospital tomorrow (Wednesday).
Given how much I've been rapid cycling for the past several weeks, I really need to do something to get it under control.
I'm hoping that by talking with a different pdoc I can find out what works, what doesn't work and why. Perhaps he/she can also give me a complete overhaul on my meds because something just isn't working.
While talking to my sister yesterday she said I was waaay manic and pointed out my rapid speech. That signaled to me that I'm still manic and really need to get some help.
I plan to ask the hospital for a day pass in order to see my pdoc on Friday. At that time I'm going to find out why he has only changed my meds ONCE during the entire year and a half that I've seen him. The last thing I want is for others to experience the same thing, so I plan to confront him (politely) to find out why he has been so negligent as far as my treatment is concerned.
I'll send all of you an update in a few days to let you know how I'm doing.
In the meantime, take care everyone and try to stay well.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
Sponsor
CarenR
11-19-2008, 05:02 PM
hi that is a wise decision.. I went into the hospital in 2006 and the p-doc there put me on zyprexa.... and I still take it now..and it works....
hugs, Caren
bipolar 1
hugs, Caren
bipolar 1
tigger5150
11-19-2008, 06:58 PM
dreams -
wishing you well and hope things work out for you.... I will be going inpatient on the 29th of Nov. where we will do another round of ECT and adjustment of my meds.... so I wish you success.....
wishing you well and hope things work out for you.... I will be going inpatient on the 29th of Nov. where we will do another round of ECT and adjustment of my meds.... so I wish you success.....
seaturtle
11-19-2008, 07:52 PM
Hey, neon,
Good for you! I'm so glad you're taking action to get the treatment you need. You deserve to have the best and to have every good thing, not this endless battle because you're not being properly seen to.
I don't know if you'll get this post or not (when you're going into the hospital), but I will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing from you again. I hope all goes well, and again, congratulations. You are doing the right and strong thing for yourself, an inspiration to me right now.
((((((((((((((((neon)))))))))))))))))
Seaturtle
Good for you! I'm so glad you're taking action to get the treatment you need. You deserve to have the best and to have every good thing, not this endless battle because you're not being properly seen to.
I don't know if you'll get this post or not (when you're going into the hospital), but I will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing from you again. I hope all goes well, and again, congratulations. You are doing the right and strong thing for yourself, an inspiration to me right now.
((((((((((((((((neon)))))))))))))))))
Seaturtle
dreams in neon
11-20-2008, 02:32 AM
Thanks, Seaturtle! :)
I'm at the hospital right now (I'm using my BrailleNote -- a PDA for the blind) to read the boards. I should probably head to bed right now before one of the nurses asks me what I'm doing and tells the pdoc that I'm not sleeping like I should. I also don't want her to increase my meds.
The pdoc wants me to stay for at least 4 days in order to get my rapid cycling under control.
He changed me from 500mg of Depakote 4x/day to 20mg of Zyprexa once/day (morning). I took my first dose earlier this afternoon and feel strange. He is also keeping my Risperdal the same at 4mg (since it helps control my auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoia) and is thinking about adding Lamictal, but doesn't know for sure because it requires titration and right now their primary concern is getting my mania under control. Once they do, they'll think about what antidepressant to put me on.
I have to say that I'm very pleased with the aggressive treatment of this pdoc. At least he cares and is doing everything he can to address my cycling. That's more than I can say for my own pdoc.
Once I'm discharged from the hospital I'm going to ask if I can see him from now on.
I'll send another update again tomorrow.
Until then,
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
I'm at the hospital right now (I'm using my BrailleNote -- a PDA for the blind) to read the boards. I should probably head to bed right now before one of the nurses asks me what I'm doing and tells the pdoc that I'm not sleeping like I should. I also don't want her to increase my meds.
The pdoc wants me to stay for at least 4 days in order to get my rapid cycling under control.
He changed me from 500mg of Depakote 4x/day to 20mg of Zyprexa once/day (morning). I took my first dose earlier this afternoon and feel strange. He is also keeping my Risperdal the same at 4mg (since it helps control my auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoia) and is thinking about adding Lamictal, but doesn't know for sure because it requires titration and right now their primary concern is getting my mania under control. Once they do, they'll think about what antidepressant to put me on.
I have to say that I'm very pleased with the aggressive treatment of this pdoc. At least he cares and is doing everything he can to address my cycling. That's more than I can say for my own pdoc.
Once I'm discharged from the hospital I'm going to ask if I can see him from now on.
I'll send another update again tomorrow.
Until then,
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
dreams in neon
11-20-2008, 10:46 AM
Hi tigger,
I'm sorry I didn't see your post. Thanks so much for your well wishes!
I wish you success for your ECT treatments on the 29th. Please be sure to let us know how everything works out, okay?
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
I'm sorry I didn't see your post. Thanks so much for your well wishes!
I wish you success for your ECT treatments on the 29th. Please be sure to let us know how everything works out, okay?
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
dreams in neon
11-20-2008, 10:49 AM
Hi Caren,
I'm glad Zyprexa works well for you. I've been told that it's excellent for treating mania.
I'm currently on 20mg of Zyprexa and it's working well for me. Right now I feel "blah" but I think that's because I'm finally level after being manic for so long. I'm sure that once my mania is under control, the pdoc will decrease my Zyprexa dose to 10mg or less.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
I'm glad Zyprexa works well for you. I've been told that it's excellent for treating mania.
I'm currently on 20mg of Zyprexa and it's working well for me. Right now I feel "blah" but I think that's because I'm finally level after being manic for so long. I'm sure that once my mania is under control, the pdoc will decrease my Zyprexa dose to 10mg or less.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
madness86
11-20-2008, 01:56 PM
You're condition kinda sorta matches exactly what I feel with this disorder: rapid-cycling with 2-day highs and 3-4 day lows then some stability for a few days. It's those positive feeling stability days where I feel at my best and that's where I am right now. I can talk to anyone and feel just natural and it's so awesome, to be able to get to this level. I look at those manias or depressions now with confidence because I can reference back to when the good ol' days intervene.
Im also on depakote (well you're off it now) but I'm taking a higher dose and it's very effective in my treatment so far. It brings me down from a lot of grandiose ideas. The last problem I have that I should treat is my whole-body tremors that occur when I'm manic and "on top" of my well-being. I feel like I could crack jokes every other second too, which I dont mind sometimes. Speed-talking is another thing. Manias are fun but sometimes too much.
Best regards, ttyl.
Im also on depakote (well you're off it now) but I'm taking a higher dose and it's very effective in my treatment so far. It brings me down from a lot of grandiose ideas. The last problem I have that I should treat is my whole-body tremors that occur when I'm manic and "on top" of my well-being. I feel like I could crack jokes every other second too, which I dont mind sometimes. Speed-talking is another thing. Manias are fun but sometimes too much.
Best regards, ttyl.
katlin09
11-20-2008, 04:48 PM
Dreams,
I'm so glad that you had the guts and smarts to realize that you needed extra help and went and found it. So many of us here on this board don't do that....I know myself 5 months ago turned to a bottle of pills and figured not "being" at all was better than dealing with all of it. Good luck with this new pdoc, you seem to like him and he seems to really care about helping you, sounds like a good combination.
Keep letting us know how you're doing, and watch out for those nurses, they can be real tattle tales. *g*
Kat
I'm so glad that you had the guts and smarts to realize that you needed extra help and went and found it. So many of us here on this board don't do that....I know myself 5 months ago turned to a bottle of pills and figured not "being" at all was better than dealing with all of it. Good luck with this new pdoc, you seem to like him and he seems to really care about helping you, sounds like a good combination.
Keep letting us know how you're doing, and watch out for those nurses, they can be real tattle tales. *g*
Kat
dreams in neon
11-20-2008, 07:49 PM
Madness,
Yes, that's exactly how my cycling goes. I'm usually manic for a couple days, then depressed for 3 days, irritable for another 3 and then "normal" for a day.
It has been quite the roller coaster ride!
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
Yes, that's exactly how my cycling goes. I'm usually manic for a couple days, then depressed for 3 days, irritable for another 3 and then "normal" for a day.
It has been quite the roller coaster ride!
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
dreams in neon
11-20-2008, 07:59 PM
Kat,
After talking to my sister the other night, it hit me how manic I actually was. My sister used to be in denial regarding my Bipolar, but now I think she truly understands how real it is because of the manic episodes she has seen me experience.
When she told me I was waaay manic and talking rapidly, I knew something was wrong.
In looking back at my sleep patterns and mania, it's clear that I've been rapid cycling for the past several weeks.
I knew it was time to finally put my foot down and do something about it because I was getting tired of the constant cycling.
However, right now I'm feeling quite depressed and am missing my mania.
I saw the pdoc and he's starting me on 100mg of Lamictal. When I asked if that would cause me any problems, he said it was best if we started at that dose so we could immediately address my depression. He also said that if we had to tritrate up to 100mg, I'd have to stay in the hospital for a longer period of time. He said he's keeping a close eye on me (or rather, the nurses are) to make sure nothing bad happens.
Oh and thanks for the advice regarding the nurses. LOL. All of the nurses here are awesome and willing to do anything to help when needed.
Earlier this afternoon I experienced severe depression (so much so that I felt like crying my eyes out) and one of the nurses promptly paged the pdoc.
Now it's just a "wait and see" game to find out how long before the Lamictal starts to take effect.
I'll send another update later tonight.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
After talking to my sister the other night, it hit me how manic I actually was. My sister used to be in denial regarding my Bipolar, but now I think she truly understands how real it is because of the manic episodes she has seen me experience.
When she told me I was waaay manic and talking rapidly, I knew something was wrong.
In looking back at my sleep patterns and mania, it's clear that I've been rapid cycling for the past several weeks.
I knew it was time to finally put my foot down and do something about it because I was getting tired of the constant cycling.
However, right now I'm feeling quite depressed and am missing my mania.
I saw the pdoc and he's starting me on 100mg of Lamictal. When I asked if that would cause me any problems, he said it was best if we started at that dose so we could immediately address my depression. He also said that if we had to tritrate up to 100mg, I'd have to stay in the hospital for a longer period of time. He said he's keeping a close eye on me (or rather, the nurses are) to make sure nothing bad happens.
Oh and thanks for the advice regarding the nurses. LOL. All of the nurses here are awesome and willing to do anything to help when needed.
Earlier this afternoon I experienced severe depression (so much so that I felt like crying my eyes out) and one of the nurses promptly paged the pdoc.
Now it's just a "wait and see" game to find out how long before the Lamictal starts to take effect.
I'll send another update later tonight.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
porra1981
11-20-2008, 08:04 PM
HI
Go to the pdoc for my first round of meds in the morning haven't had any1 to speak to but it seems you have your bipolar under control.
Would like to speak to you a bit more, bipolar3 apparently, by the way, will see in the morning!
Hope you had a good day.
Go to the pdoc for my first round of meds in the morning haven't had any1 to speak to but it seems you have your bipolar under control.
Would like to speak to you a bit more, bipolar3 apparently, by the way, will see in the morning!
Hope you had a good day.
seaturtle
11-21-2008, 12:20 AM
Hi, dreams (don't know whether I can call you "neon" or not..)
How are you doing tonight? I am so glad the hospital is turning out to be a place you're pleased with and is getting right on your treatment.
And I hope the food is decent, too!
Thinking of you,
Seaturtle
How are you doing tonight? I am so glad the hospital is turning out to be a place you're pleased with and is getting right on your treatment.
And I hope the food is decent, too!
Thinking of you,
Seaturtle
tigger5150
11-21-2008, 01:11 AM
dreams,
hope it gets better..... it is always a big help to have on top of it nurses. the nurses where I will be an inpatient were awesome last time.... they would sit and talk with me and let me cry through a lot of my depression... it was wonderful. Hope you get the meds going right soon.
hope it gets better..... it is always a big help to have on top of it nurses. the nurses where I will be an inpatient were awesome last time.... they would sit and talk with me and let me cry through a lot of my depression... it was wonderful. Hope you get the meds going right soon.
dreams in neon
11-21-2008, 02:05 AM
porra,
Unfortunately, I don't have my Bipolar under control yet because I haven't been on Lamictal long enough to know if it is helping (I should know in a few days to a week).
I'm no longer rapid cycling, but right now I'm stuck in a severe depression. The pdoc says it's because I'm missing the mania as well as the rapid cycling and haven't experienced a state of constant being in a very long time. In other words, the only thing I'm used to is cycling between mania, depression and irritability on an hourly basis and now that I no longer have that, I feel lost. Feeling a constant state of depression feels very unsettling to me.
I wish you all the best with your appointment tomorrow. Please be sure to let us know how everything turns out.
By the way, what is BPIII? I know I've read about it before, but I can't remember what it is exactly.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
Unfortunately, I don't have my Bipolar under control yet because I haven't been on Lamictal long enough to know if it is helping (I should know in a few days to a week).
I'm no longer rapid cycling, but right now I'm stuck in a severe depression. The pdoc says it's because I'm missing the mania as well as the rapid cycling and haven't experienced a state of constant being in a very long time. In other words, the only thing I'm used to is cycling between mania, depression and irritability on an hourly basis and now that I no longer have that, I feel lost. Feeling a constant state of depression feels very unsettling to me.
I wish you all the best with your appointment tomorrow. Please be sure to let us know how everything turns out.
By the way, what is BPIII? I know I've read about it before, but I can't remember what it is exactly.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
dreams in neon
11-21-2008, 02:11 AM
Hi Seaturtle,
You can call me whatever you're most comfortable with ("dreams" or "neon"). :)
The food at the hospital is absolutely horrible. My sister brought me some chocolate and several cans of Coke Classic to carry me over until my discharge, so I'm thankful for that because I'm not eating very much (not because I don't want to, but because the food stinks).
I'm still feeling depressed tonight -- although some of my depression has lifted since this afternoon. I'm hoping I'll feel an improvement when I wake up tomorrow morning.
I'll be sure to update all of you again tomorrow.
Thanks again as always for your encouragement and support. It means more than you know. :)
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
You can call me whatever you're most comfortable with ("dreams" or "neon"). :)
The food at the hospital is absolutely horrible. My sister brought me some chocolate and several cans of Coke Classic to carry me over until my discharge, so I'm thankful for that because I'm not eating very much (not because I don't want to, but because the food stinks).
I'm still feeling depressed tonight -- although some of my depression has lifted since this afternoon. I'm hoping I'll feel an improvement when I wake up tomorrow morning.
I'll be sure to update all of you again tomorrow.
Thanks again as always for your encouragement and support. It means more than you know. :)
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
dreams in neon
11-21-2008, 02:23 AM
Hi tigger,
The nurses here are great. They're keeping close tabs on my moods by asking me how I'm feeling on an hourly basis so the pdoc can see how well the Lamictal and Zyprexa are working.
The hospital I'm attending happens to be one of the best in the state, so I consider myself fortunate in that regard.
As far as the pdoc is concerned, when I'm discharged I'm going to ask if he'll take me on as a patient. If not, I'm going to ask for his contact information and find out if he can oversee my case whenever I'm IP.
It sure has been a nice change between my crummy pdoc and the one I'm working with now.
I wanted to also mention that on Monday I was diagnosed with a severe case of CTS (carpal tunnel syndrome) in my left wrist (and I'm left-handed) which requires surgery. The pdoc was great about allowing me to take as much Ibuprofin as I need. If truth be told, I think the pain, numbness, weakness, tingling and burning I'm experiencing are also contributing to my depression. I have my wrist in a splint which I'm supposed to wear 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Unfortunately, neither the splint or the Ibuprofin are helping the pain, but from what my doctor told me, this isn't uncommon in severe cases of CTS.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
The nurses here are great. They're keeping close tabs on my moods by asking me how I'm feeling on an hourly basis so the pdoc can see how well the Lamictal and Zyprexa are working.
The hospital I'm attending happens to be one of the best in the state, so I consider myself fortunate in that regard.
As far as the pdoc is concerned, when I'm discharged I'm going to ask if he'll take me on as a patient. If not, I'm going to ask for his contact information and find out if he can oversee my case whenever I'm IP.
It sure has been a nice change between my crummy pdoc and the one I'm working with now.
I wanted to also mention that on Monday I was diagnosed with a severe case of CTS (carpal tunnel syndrome) in my left wrist (and I'm left-handed) which requires surgery. The pdoc was great about allowing me to take as much Ibuprofin as I need. If truth be told, I think the pain, numbness, weakness, tingling and burning I'm experiencing are also contributing to my depression. I have my wrist in a splint which I'm supposed to wear 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Unfortunately, neither the splint or the Ibuprofin are helping the pain, but from what my doctor told me, this isn't uncommon in severe cases of CTS.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
katlin09
11-21-2008, 11:33 AM
Dreams,
Hopefully the Lamictal will help you with the Depression. Thats my major problem, severe suicidal depression, and the Lamictal helped me quite a bit. They did start you at a high dose, but if the docs and nurses are keeping a close eye on you, then you'll be fine I'm sure. Sorry to hear about the carpal tunnel, I know how it feels to have one more thing added all the time, but don't let it get to you, you can deal with that in time, for now just concentrate on getting to a "steady" state.
I remember that awful food...don't know why the hospital's can't do something about that, it was a big motivator for getting out!! *LOL*
Kat
Hopefully the Lamictal will help you with the Depression. Thats my major problem, severe suicidal depression, and the Lamictal helped me quite a bit. They did start you at a high dose, but if the docs and nurses are keeping a close eye on you, then you'll be fine I'm sure. Sorry to hear about the carpal tunnel, I know how it feels to have one more thing added all the time, but don't let it get to you, you can deal with that in time, for now just concentrate on getting to a "steady" state.
I remember that awful food...don't know why the hospital's can't do something about that, it was a big motivator for getting out!! *LOL*
Kat
dreams in neon
11-21-2008, 05:08 PM
Hi Kat,
I'm feeling better today and would rate my depression as being mild to moderate which is a significant improvement over the way I felt yesterday. According to the pdoc, I should start to feel the full effects of the Lamictal in about a week.
I also wanted to mention that I called a counseling center from the hospital that my doctor referred me to and have an appointment with one of their pdocs on December 22nd. (I couldn't get in any sooner than that.) I also have an appointment at a different clinic with a tdoc and then a pdoc (at a later date) on December 17th.
I'm still LOL at your comment about hospital food being a good motivator for being discharged. I never knew hospital food could taste so terrible. LOL. Fortunately, I only have a few more days to put up with it and have my chocolate and caffeine to carry me through. :)
As far as the carpal tunnel is concerned, I'm trying not to let it get me down. I start physical therapy next week and have decided to opt for surgery, but will talk to my neurologist about that once I'm released.
I'll send another update later this evening. I plan to participate in group today, but may not say much (my pdoc says this is understandable given the severe depression I've been experiencing), but we'll see how it goes.
Hope you and everyone else here on the boards are doing well.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
I'm feeling better today and would rate my depression as being mild to moderate which is a significant improvement over the way I felt yesterday. According to the pdoc, I should start to feel the full effects of the Lamictal in about a week.
I also wanted to mention that I called a counseling center from the hospital that my doctor referred me to and have an appointment with one of their pdocs on December 22nd. (I couldn't get in any sooner than that.) I also have an appointment at a different clinic with a tdoc and then a pdoc (at a later date) on December 17th.
I'm still LOL at your comment about hospital food being a good motivator for being discharged. I never knew hospital food could taste so terrible. LOL. Fortunately, I only have a few more days to put up with it and have my chocolate and caffeine to carry me through. :)
As far as the carpal tunnel is concerned, I'm trying not to let it get me down. I start physical therapy next week and have decided to opt for surgery, but will talk to my neurologist about that once I'm released.
I'll send another update later this evening. I plan to participate in group today, but may not say much (my pdoc says this is understandable given the severe depression I've been experiencing), but we'll see how it goes.
Hope you and everyone else here on the boards are doing well.
dreams in neon
Bipolar I - Rapid Cycling
Schizoaffective Disorder - Bipolar Type
seaturtle
11-21-2008, 11:32 PM
Greetings, neondreams (how's that for a name?),
Hey, I am glad to hear you are beginning to feel a bit better. When the Lamictal started working for me, it really worked, so let's hope it has the same effect for you.
Of course the pain increases the depression. Pain causes depression in even a neuro-typical civilian who doesn't already struggle with it the way we do. Any chance if getting something stronger for it, without interfering w/your meds?
You'll get a new pdoc, whew!. You really did the right thing going in. With the good pdocs and the nurses checking on you so often, it sounds like a top-flight place.
Now if we could just get a decent chef in there....
Keep us posted, okay? Your thread is the first one I look at to see how you're doing.
Sending good energy,
Seaturtle
Hey, I am glad to hear you are beginning to feel a bit better. When the Lamictal started working for me, it really worked, so let's hope it has the same effect for you.
Of course the pain increases the depression. Pain causes depression in even a neuro-typical civilian who doesn't already struggle with it the way we do. Any chance if getting something stronger for it, without interfering w/your meds?
You'll get a new pdoc, whew!. You really did the right thing going in. With the good pdocs and the nurses checking on you so often, it sounds like a top-flight place.
Now if we could just get a decent chef in there....
Keep us posted, okay? Your thread is the first one I look at to see how you're doing.
Sending good energy,
Seaturtle
dreams in neon
11-22-2008, 05:40 AM
Hi Seaturtle and all,
Unfortunately, my doctor said there is nothing stronger that I can take for my CTS other than Ibuprofin.
(I like that name "neon dreams." :))
Here's another update on how I am doing...
Today was a better day for me mood wise. My depression has lessened and I no longer feel suicidal. The pdoc wants to keep me IP for another 3-4 days so the Lamictal can take full effect and my moods are leveled.
I attended group for the second time since yesterday and opened up about my experiences with Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorder. It felt good being able to express my feelings without people judging me or my sister telling me over and over again that I'm talking rapidly and am manic. For once, I could just be myself. It was great being around people who truly understand what it feels like to experience mania, rapid cycling and depression.
The tdoc who led group made the observation that my speech has slowed down some and that I am developing more of an affect.
The pdoc also metioned that he could see a slight improvement in my depression and thinks my moods should start to stabilize within the next few days.
As usual, I'll continue to keep all of you posted.
Unfortunately, my doctor said there is nothing stronger that I can take for my CTS other than Ibuprofin.
(I like that name "neon dreams." :))
Here's another update on how I am doing...
Today was a better day for me mood wise. My depression has lessened and I no longer feel suicidal. The pdoc wants to keep me IP for another 3-4 days so the Lamictal can take full effect and my moods are leveled.
I attended group for the second time since yesterday and opened up about my experiences with Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorder. It felt good being able to express my feelings without people judging me or my sister telling me over and over again that I'm talking rapidly and am manic. For once, I could just be myself. It was great being around people who truly understand what it feels like to experience mania, rapid cycling and depression.
The tdoc who led group made the observation that my speech has slowed down some and that I am developing more of an affect.
The pdoc also metioned that he could see a slight improvement in my depression and thinks my moods should start to stabilize within the next few days.
As usual, I'll continue to keep all of you posted.
Bright day
11-22-2008, 03:00 PM
Hello, Dreams in neon,
that's very nice to hear.
Have a wonderful weekend!
that's very nice to hear.
Have a wonderful weekend!
seaturtle
11-22-2008, 08:10 PM
((((neon dreams))))
How wonderful! You're really coming along now! Thank heaven you went in there. The groups are such a help, aren't they? Family may mean well, but they often don't do us any good (quite the opposite). It's such a relief to be just who we are, without the pretenses and "aping" behaviours and saying just the right thing.
Have they raised the Lamictal again?
Sorry, I've forgotten what you were doing before you went in. I'm too beat at the moment to read back over the thread...I think it was school?
Maybe you could order in a pizza or Chinese? I'd guess when you get out, one of your first stops will be to get some decent food. What's it like? When I was in a psychiatric clinic in New York (and one of the better ones), they gave us tons of starchy pastries (not good ones, either), grey little pieces of meat, instant mashed, canned vegetables, and that "fruit" dessert that is actually little pieces of what might have once been fruit, swimming in sugar syrupl Ugh, I still remember it.
Wish I could send you a gourmet package, but as it is, just can send a huge hug and congratulations to you.
Fondly,
Seaturtle
How wonderful! You're really coming along now! Thank heaven you went in there. The groups are such a help, aren't they? Family may mean well, but they often don't do us any good (quite the opposite). It's such a relief to be just who we are, without the pretenses and "aping" behaviours and saying just the right thing.
Have they raised the Lamictal again?
Sorry, I've forgotten what you were doing before you went in. I'm too beat at the moment to read back over the thread...I think it was school?
Maybe you could order in a pizza or Chinese? I'd guess when you get out, one of your first stops will be to get some decent food. What's it like? When I was in a psychiatric clinic in New York (and one of the better ones), they gave us tons of starchy pastries (not good ones, either), grey little pieces of meat, instant mashed, canned vegetables, and that "fruit" dessert that is actually little pieces of what might have once been fruit, swimming in sugar syrupl Ugh, I still remember it.
Wish I could send you a gourmet package, but as it is, just can send a huge hug and congratulations to you.
Fondly,
Seaturtle
katlin09
11-23-2008, 12:14 AM
Dreams,
Glad to hear that you're improving each day, I hope it continues, hang in there.
Kat
Glad to hear that you're improving each day, I hope it continues, hang in there.
Kat
dreams in neon
11-23-2008, 06:22 PM
Hi Kat, Seaturtle and all,
Thanks! Hugs!
Unfortunately, I woke up with the flu this morning. :( I have a temperature of 100 degrees, chills, nausea and a headache. The nurse received permission from the pdoc to give me some Tamiflu, so I took that earlier and hope it will nip this flu in the bud. She's also monitoring my headache since they often have a tendency to turn into migraines. If this happens, the pdoc allowed her to give me my prescription for Imitrex.
I was expecting to be discharged in another 2 days, but it doesn't look as though that's going to happen. The pdoc wants to keep me here until I feel better and my moods have stabilized.
The pdoc hasn't raised my Lamictal above 100mg, but I suspect that he might given the fact that I'm sick and still depressed. I'm not severely depressed, but the pdoc said he wants to see me in a leveled mood where I feel some degree of "normalcy." After all, this is the only way he can determine if the Lamictal and Zyprexa are really working as they should.
Ugh. It's so hard trying to eat what the hospital here calls "food" when you don't feel well. At least my sister gave me some caffeine and chocolate to carry me through.
My sister brought over some pizza on Thursday and I couldn't believe how good it tasted.
So far, we've had fish sandwiches, salad, instant mashed potatoes, meat loaf, buttered bread, chili, a hot dog, green beans, breakfast cereal (which is the closest thing that actually comes to food around here. LOL), scrambled eggs, pancakes, corn, a mixture of carrots and peas, rice, spaghetti, rolls, a muffin and oatmeal. Some of these foods have a funny taste to them, so after a meal, I quickly go back to my room to drink a Coke Classic or eat a piece of chocolate. LOL.
I'll report again later this evening if I feel well enough to do so. If not, I'll send another update tomorrow.
Hope all of you are doing well.
Thanks! Hugs!
Unfortunately, I woke up with the flu this morning. :( I have a temperature of 100 degrees, chills, nausea and a headache. The nurse received permission from the pdoc to give me some Tamiflu, so I took that earlier and hope it will nip this flu in the bud. She's also monitoring my headache since they often have a tendency to turn into migraines. If this happens, the pdoc allowed her to give me my prescription for Imitrex.
I was expecting to be discharged in another 2 days, but it doesn't look as though that's going to happen. The pdoc wants to keep me here until I feel better and my moods have stabilized.
The pdoc hasn't raised my Lamictal above 100mg, but I suspect that he might given the fact that I'm sick and still depressed. I'm not severely depressed, but the pdoc said he wants to see me in a leveled mood where I feel some degree of "normalcy." After all, this is the only way he can determine if the Lamictal and Zyprexa are really working as they should.
Ugh. It's so hard trying to eat what the hospital here calls "food" when you don't feel well. At least my sister gave me some caffeine and chocolate to carry me through.
My sister brought over some pizza on Thursday and I couldn't believe how good it tasted.
So far, we've had fish sandwiches, salad, instant mashed potatoes, meat loaf, buttered bread, chili, a hot dog, green beans, breakfast cereal (which is the closest thing that actually comes to food around here. LOL), scrambled eggs, pancakes, corn, a mixture of carrots and peas, rice, spaghetti, rolls, a muffin and oatmeal. Some of these foods have a funny taste to them, so after a meal, I quickly go back to my room to drink a Coke Classic or eat a piece of chocolate. LOL.
I'll report again later this evening if I feel well enough to do so. If not, I'll send another update tomorrow.
Hope all of you are doing well.
seaturtle
11-23-2008, 06:51 PM
neondreams -
Just checking on you to see how things are going today. Thinking of you,
Seaturtle
Just checking on you to see how things are going today. Thinking of you,
Seaturtle
tigger5150
11-23-2008, 06:59 PM
Dreams I'm so glad to hear that you are doing better each day.... I really hope it continues.
Seaturtle.... my food several month ago wasn't that great when I was IP. I usually couldn't wait for my husband to pick me up so that I could have something not hospital food! LOL Now I'm fixing to go back for 3 weeks.... the only good thing was I lost a little under 5 kg (10 pounds) so I'm hoping for that again!
Seaturtle.... my food several month ago wasn't that great when I was IP. I usually couldn't wait for my husband to pick me up so that I could have something not hospital food! LOL Now I'm fixing to go back for 3 weeks.... the only good thing was I lost a little under 5 kg (10 pounds) so I'm hoping for that again!
katlin09
11-24-2008, 02:59 AM
Dreams,
Hang in there tough girl. I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but hope you'll get over it quickly. Hopefully the meds will kick in and you'll get out soon.
Sorry ths isn't longer, but the depression has claimed another victim...and I'm just going to try and go to sleep.
Kat
Hang in there tough girl. I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but hope you'll get over it quickly. Hopefully the meds will kick in and you'll get out soon.
Sorry ths isn't longer, but the depression has claimed another victim...and I'm just going to try and go to sleep.
Kat
dreams in neon
11-30-2008, 06:19 AM
Thanks, Kat!
I'm afraid I have some more bad news. :(
This morning I woke up with a terrible migraine. I also had congestion, sneezing, vomiting, dizziness and extreme sound sensitivity.
When the pdoc came to the hospital, he noticed me sneezing in a violent, repetitive manner and asked me what was wrong. Since I'm sick *again*, he wants to keep me IP for another 4 days.
When the nurse took my temperature, it was 101 degrees. Because of this, the pdoc told me he was concerned it might be something serious and recommended I go to the ER.
It turns out that I have an upper respiratory infection. I was given amoxicillan and a stronger migraine med (since my Imitrex wasn't doing anything to help the pain).
I ended up sleeping most of the day and haven't eaten because I don't feel like it and am afraid I won't be able to keep anything down.
The good news is that the migraine is finally gone, but I still have a fever and am sneezing constantly and so violently that my throat and chest hurt.
Hopefully the amoxicillan will take care of the fever and sneezing fits within the next day or two.
I asked the pdoc if I could be discharged from the hospital since my migraine is gone and I'm no longer manic, but he gave me a firm NO. He said that when I'm sick, I rapid cycle and that's what he needs to keep an eye on.
I normally don't get sick (once a year, if that), but when I do, it hits me big time.
I'll post more later today.
In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well.
I'm afraid I have some more bad news. :(
This morning I woke up with a terrible migraine. I also had congestion, sneezing, vomiting, dizziness and extreme sound sensitivity.
When the pdoc came to the hospital, he noticed me sneezing in a violent, repetitive manner and asked me what was wrong. Since I'm sick *again*, he wants to keep me IP for another 4 days.
When the nurse took my temperature, it was 101 degrees. Because of this, the pdoc told me he was concerned it might be something serious and recommended I go to the ER.
It turns out that I have an upper respiratory infection. I was given amoxicillan and a stronger migraine med (since my Imitrex wasn't doing anything to help the pain).
I ended up sleeping most of the day and haven't eaten because I don't feel like it and am afraid I won't be able to keep anything down.
The good news is that the migraine is finally gone, but I still have a fever and am sneezing constantly and so violently that my throat and chest hurt.
Hopefully the amoxicillan will take care of the fever and sneezing fits within the next day or two.
I asked the pdoc if I could be discharged from the hospital since my migraine is gone and I'm no longer manic, but he gave me a firm NO. He said that when I'm sick, I rapid cycle and that's what he needs to keep an eye on.
I normally don't get sick (once a year, if that), but when I do, it hits me big time.
I'll post more later today.
In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well.
dreams in neon
11-30-2008, 06:34 AM
Hi again everyone,
I forgot to mention that I have an appointment with a new tdoc on Monday. It's a requirement of this particular psychiatric hospital that I see her first before they will recommend a pdoc. I plan to write down all of my symptoms since I was told she will be making a diagnosis (or diagnoses) despite the fact that I already know what my illnesses are.
I've fired my current pdoc for good. I've had enough and it's time to find a better pdoc who is compatable with my personality and who takes my rapid cycling seriously instead of doing nothing.
I also plan to ask the pdoc who is handling my treatment here at the hospital if I can see him once I'm discharged, but that will have to wait for a few days. Right now I'm not well enough to get out of bed let alone have a conversation with someone.
I'll continue to keep all of you posted and will definitely let you know how Monday's appointment goes if my pdoc says I'm well enough to go.
I forgot to mention that I have an appointment with a new tdoc on Monday. It's a requirement of this particular psychiatric hospital that I see her first before they will recommend a pdoc. I plan to write down all of my symptoms since I was told she will be making a diagnosis (or diagnoses) despite the fact that I already know what my illnesses are.
I've fired my current pdoc for good. I've had enough and it's time to find a better pdoc who is compatable with my personality and who takes my rapid cycling seriously instead of doing nothing.
I also plan to ask the pdoc who is handling my treatment here at the hospital if I can see him once I'm discharged, but that will have to wait for a few days. Right now I'm not well enough to get out of bed let alone have a conversation with someone.
I'll continue to keep all of you posted and will definitely let you know how Monday's appointment goes if my pdoc says I'm well enough to go.
seaturtle
11-30-2008, 08:25 PM
Hey, neondreams,
What a bummer, I'm sorry to hear you're sick physically on top of everything else.
I get migraines, too...they are the most horrible pain, and if Imitrex wouldn't touch yours, it's gotta to have been a really bad one. Have you tried the Imitrex injections?
For me, Lamictal has helped incredibly with the migraines. I also take feverfew twice a day, high magnesium malate, and Mucinex twice a day (I also have fibro, and t hese meds help with both that and the migraines.)
I think many of us get sicker than the average person, somehow, our immune systems don't quite work right. And being sick like that is depressing, too. I'm glad your doc is keeping you inpatient for a bit longer if you tend to rapid-cycle when you're ill.
How are you feeling today? Better, I hope.
I'm not doing vey well, huge depression/fatigue, but at least I am not physically sick like you.
Sending you good energy and a big hug,
Seaturtle
What a bummer, I'm sorry to hear you're sick physically on top of everything else.
I get migraines, too...they are the most horrible pain, and if Imitrex wouldn't touch yours, it's gotta to have been a really bad one. Have you tried the Imitrex injections?
For me, Lamictal has helped incredibly with the migraines. I also take feverfew twice a day, high magnesium malate, and Mucinex twice a day (I also have fibro, and t hese meds help with both that and the migraines.)
I think many of us get sicker than the average person, somehow, our immune systems don't quite work right. And being sick like that is depressing, too. I'm glad your doc is keeping you inpatient for a bit longer if you tend to rapid-cycle when you're ill.
How are you feeling today? Better, I hope.
I'm not doing vey well, huge depression/fatigue, but at least I am not physically sick like you.
Sending you good energy and a big hug,
Seaturtle
katlin09
11-30-2008, 11:32 PM
Girl,
I know you liked the food, but 4 more days worth?? I'm sorry you got sick, I know you were looking forward to getting out of that place. But at least your where you can get taken care of. I hope you get well soon, and that the Lamictal helps you from rapid cycling. Make sure and let us know how you're doing tomorrow. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
Kat
I know you liked the food, but 4 more days worth?? I'm sorry you got sick, I know you were looking forward to getting out of that place. But at least your where you can get taken care of. I hope you get well soon, and that the Lamictal helps you from rapid cycling. Make sure and let us know how you're doing tomorrow. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
Kat
dreams in neon
12-01-2008, 03:41 AM
Hi Seaturtle,
Thanks for the hug! I need it!
I'm feeling better today! :)
The pdoc gave me some Allegra-D to help relieve my sneezing and I think it's working because I'm not sneezing as often or violently as I was.
Unfortunately, I was rapid cycling earlier today between mania, depression, irritability and agitation.
Since the pdoc noticed my agitation, he gave me an anti-anxiety med to help calm me down and that has also helped me feel better. I no longer feel so nervous and uptight now.
Good news. My fever has gone down to 99 degrees, so that's a sign I'm getting better.
:)
What you said about our immune systems being weaker than normal makes complete sense. My tdoc explained that when we're manic, depressed or rapid cycling, it takes a toll on the body and causes our immune system to shut down. That's exactly what happened to me -- twice. :( Oh well. I guess this is what I get after not being sick for over a year and a half. LOL.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression and fatigue right now. :(
Here are plenty of cyber hugs to help you feel better...
(((((((Seaturtle)))))))))
Thanks for the hug! I need it!
I'm feeling better today! :)
The pdoc gave me some Allegra-D to help relieve my sneezing and I think it's working because I'm not sneezing as often or violently as I was.
Unfortunately, I was rapid cycling earlier today between mania, depression, irritability and agitation.
Since the pdoc noticed my agitation, he gave me an anti-anxiety med to help calm me down and that has also helped me feel better. I no longer feel so nervous and uptight now.
Good news. My fever has gone down to 99 degrees, so that's a sign I'm getting better.
:)
What you said about our immune systems being weaker than normal makes complete sense. My tdoc explained that when we're manic, depressed or rapid cycling, it takes a toll on the body and causes our immune system to shut down. That's exactly what happened to me -- twice. :( Oh well. I guess this is what I get after not being sick for over a year and a half. LOL.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression and fatigue right now. :(
Here are plenty of cyber hugs to help you feel better...
(((((((Seaturtle)))))))))
dreams in neon
12-01-2008, 04:26 AM
Hi Seaturtle,
The power went out temporarily as I was writing this post, so I'm going to give it another try.
Thanks for the hug! I needed it!
I'm feeling much better today! :)
The pdoc gave me some Allegra-D to help relieve my sneezing and I think it's working because I'm not sneezing as often or as violently as before.
Unfortunately, I've been rapid cycling between mania, depression, irritability and agitation. The pdoc noticed how agitated I was, so he gave me an anti-anxiety med to help calm me down. I no longer feel so nervous and uptight.
What you've said about our immune systems being weaker than normal makes perfect sense. My tdoc explained that when we're manic, depressed or rapid cycling, it takes a toll on our body and our immune shuts down. This was definitely the case for me -- twice in fact. :( I guess that's the price I pay for not being sick for over a year and a half. LOL. The pdoc told me that because of my rapid cycling and the fact that I've been manic for so long, I got sick twice. He says rapid cycling is stressful on the body and causes the immune system to weaken thereby being attracted to more illnesses.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression and fatigue. Try to hang in there, okay?
In the meantime, here are plenty of cyber hugs to help you feel better...
((((((Seaturtle))))))
The power went out temporarily as I was writing this post, so I'm going to give it another try.
Thanks for the hug! I needed it!
I'm feeling much better today! :)
The pdoc gave me some Allegra-D to help relieve my sneezing and I think it's working because I'm not sneezing as often or as violently as before.
Unfortunately, I've been rapid cycling between mania, depression, irritability and agitation. The pdoc noticed how agitated I was, so he gave me an anti-anxiety med to help calm me down. I no longer feel so nervous and uptight.
What you've said about our immune systems being weaker than normal makes perfect sense. My tdoc explained that when we're manic, depressed or rapid cycling, it takes a toll on our body and our immune shuts down. This was definitely the case for me -- twice in fact. :( I guess that's the price I pay for not being sick for over a year and a half. LOL. The pdoc told me that because of my rapid cycling and the fact that I've been manic for so long, I got sick twice. He says rapid cycling is stressful on the body and causes the immune system to weaken thereby being attracted to more illnesses.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression and fatigue. Try to hang in there, okay?
In the meantime, here are plenty of cyber hugs to help you feel better...
((((((Seaturtle))))))
dreams in neon
12-01-2008, 04:36 AM
Thanks, Kat! ((((((hugs))))))
I feel much better today. As i mentioned in my previous post, my pdoc put me on Allegra-D and that has been helping my sneezing. I think if anything, the sneezing fits were annoying me the most. LOL.
I also have more of an appetite. I ate all 3 meals and took a nap later in the evening because I was starting to rapid cycle again.
You mentioned the hospital food. That's one of the main reasons I want to get out of here. I don't know if I can take 3 more days of this. LOL. I've also run out of chocolate and caffeine, so I don't have anything else I can snack on until my sister brings me more.
There is a winter storm warning for our area tonight and tomorrow. 10" of snow are expected. I hope I can make it to the tdoc appointment. I need to be there by 8:30 a.m.
I'll be sure to let all of you know how my appointment goes later today.
Thanks again for your support, everyone! It means alot! :)
I feel much better today. As i mentioned in my previous post, my pdoc put me on Allegra-D and that has been helping my sneezing. I think if anything, the sneezing fits were annoying me the most. LOL.
I also have more of an appetite. I ate all 3 meals and took a nap later in the evening because I was starting to rapid cycle again.
You mentioned the hospital food. That's one of the main reasons I want to get out of here. I don't know if I can take 3 more days of this. LOL. I've also run out of chocolate and caffeine, so I don't have anything else I can snack on until my sister brings me more.
There is a winter storm warning for our area tonight and tomorrow. 10" of snow are expected. I hope I can make it to the tdoc appointment. I need to be there by 8:30 a.m.
I'll be sure to let all of you know how my appointment goes later today.
Thanks again for your support, everyone! It means alot! :)
sped57
12-01-2008, 07:03 AM
Dreams in Neon,
I have been reading your posts and the replys and I would like to send a get well to you also. It sounds as if you have had your share of trials and tribulations over the past couple of weeks. I hope that they take good care of you in the hospital and that you will be feeling good for Christmas.
Take care!
I have been reading your posts and the replys and I would like to send a get well to you also. It sounds as if you have had your share of trials and tribulations over the past couple of weeks. I hope that they take good care of you in the hospital and that you will be feeling good for Christmas.
Take care!
blugreen
12-01-2008, 10:54 AM
Hope you feel better soon Dreams. I am praying for you. It must suck to be sick on top of everything else. Hang in there...
Blu :angel:
Blu :angel:
dreams in neon
12-01-2008, 01:40 PM
sped57 and all,
Thanks for your well wishes! :) I feel considerably better than I did 2 days ago and my fever is continuing to break.
The pdoc said my upper respiratory infection should linger another 6-9 days. He'd like to keep me inpatient until I'm 100%, have no more symptoms of an URI and am no longer rapid cycling. I guess that means I'll be here for another week or so.
Everyone here at the hospital is treating me extremely well. The nurses are checking up on my moods every hour to make sure that I don't rapid cycle. They have also been great about paging the pdoc whenever I have a question or they are concerned about the status of my health.
The pdoc has also been very attentive to the illnesses I've had (the flu and my URI) and has prescribed an anti-anxiety med to help me calm down.
Today I had an appointment with the new tdoc and she was really nice. The good news is that I have an appointment to see the new pdoc on Thursday. She said this worked out really well since it normally takes patients about a month before they can get in to see the pdoc. She also said that this particular pdoc is very knowledgeable about bipolar and schizoaffective, so I should be in good hands.
I'll continue to let all of you know how I'm doing.
Things are definitely looking up and I couldn't be happier about that! :)
Thanks for your well wishes! :) I feel considerably better than I did 2 days ago and my fever is continuing to break.
The pdoc said my upper respiratory infection should linger another 6-9 days. He'd like to keep me inpatient until I'm 100%, have no more symptoms of an URI and am no longer rapid cycling. I guess that means I'll be here for another week or so.
Everyone here at the hospital is treating me extremely well. The nurses are checking up on my moods every hour to make sure that I don't rapid cycle. They have also been great about paging the pdoc whenever I have a question or they are concerned about the status of my health.
The pdoc has also been very attentive to the illnesses I've had (the flu and my URI) and has prescribed an anti-anxiety med to help me calm down.
Today I had an appointment with the new tdoc and she was really nice. The good news is that I have an appointment to see the new pdoc on Thursday. She said this worked out really well since it normally takes patients about a month before they can get in to see the pdoc. She also said that this particular pdoc is very knowledgeable about bipolar and schizoaffective, so I should be in good hands.
I'll continue to let all of you know how I'm doing.
Things are definitely looking up and I couldn't be happier about that! :)
dreams in neon
12-01-2008, 08:54 PM
Hi everyone,
I forgot to mention that after discussing several issues including my eating habits she concluded that I have an eating disorder because among other things, I don't like to eat when I'm manic, depressed or "normal."
I also have a great fear of gaining weight -- especially considering the Depakote I used to be on and the Risperdal I'm currently taking.
I mentioned the fact that when someone fixes me a plate of food, the amount has to be just right -- it can be too little or too much because otherwise I feel like I'll gain weight.
The tdoc was shocked after learning that I lost over 30 pounds within the past year and thinks all of these signs are an indication of an eating disorder.
Does anyone know if eating disorders are common among people with bipolar?
I'm going to talk to my regular tdoc to find out what he thinks about this. Hmmm.
I forgot to mention that after discussing several issues including my eating habits she concluded that I have an eating disorder because among other things, I don't like to eat when I'm manic, depressed or "normal."
I also have a great fear of gaining weight -- especially considering the Depakote I used to be on and the Risperdal I'm currently taking.
I mentioned the fact that when someone fixes me a plate of food, the amount has to be just right -- it can be too little or too much because otherwise I feel like I'll gain weight.
The tdoc was shocked after learning that I lost over 30 pounds within the past year and thinks all of these signs are an indication of an eating disorder.
Does anyone know if eating disorders are common among people with bipolar?
I'm going to talk to my regular tdoc to find out what he thinks about this. Hmmm.
seaturtle
12-01-2008, 11:44 PM
Hello, neondreams,
I would say Yes, from my experience with other women with bp. In fact, as I think of the women I know with bp, they are all eating-disordered (anorexic/bulimic, combo thereof, or compulsive overeaters.
30 lbs is a lot to lose!
Check it out, talk to a specialist if you can, do some research. Do you feel you have one? Sometimes people can eat - or not - eat, from mania or depression, anxiety (not telling you anything new here, I know). The ordering of your food might indicate an ED, but again, some people are just different in this way.
I hope you don't have one! Mine is lifelong, and has really made my life hell. If you do, then please, please, get into treatment for it right away and beat the dratted thing.
Again, just my experience, but I've yet to know anyone with bp who doesn't have at least one more diagnosis.
Are you eating okay now? It's important because of meds. I am sorry you're going to be in the hospital for another week or so, but I am impressed with the care you're receiving and your doctor's obvious concern and caution for you.
Continue to feel better!!
Peace, a blessing, from Seaturtle
I would say Yes, from my experience with other women with bp. In fact, as I think of the women I know with bp, they are all eating-disordered (anorexic/bulimic, combo thereof, or compulsive overeaters.
30 lbs is a lot to lose!
Check it out, talk to a specialist if you can, do some research. Do you feel you have one? Sometimes people can eat - or not - eat, from mania or depression, anxiety (not telling you anything new here, I know). The ordering of your food might indicate an ED, but again, some people are just different in this way.
I hope you don't have one! Mine is lifelong, and has really made my life hell. If you do, then please, please, get into treatment for it right away and beat the dratted thing.
Again, just my experience, but I've yet to know anyone with bp who doesn't have at least one more diagnosis.
Are you eating okay now? It's important because of meds. I am sorry you're going to be in the hospital for another week or so, but I am impressed with the care you're receiving and your doctor's obvious concern and caution for you.
Continue to feel better!!
Peace, a blessing, from Seaturtle
dreams in neon
12-02-2008, 02:49 AM
Hi Seaturtle,
I honestly don't know if I have an ED. I sincerely hope I don't because I have a very good friend with ED who is checked weekly for her calorie consumption and weight loss/gain -- and I don't think I could handle that kind of stress every week. It's hard enough dealing with my rapid cycling without also having to worry about a tdoc, pdoc or nurse constantly asking me about my eating habits and weight gain/loss.
On one hand, I can see what the tdoc means and it makes perfect sense -- especially when it comes to my fear of gaining weight, losing weight because I don't eat and not having any desire to eat when I'm manic, depressed and "level." All of those behaviors aren't normal, so it would make sense that they could represent an ED.
At the same time, I don't mind not eating, so therefore I don't consider it a problem. Others do though. My sister, for instance, is very concerned about my eating habits and is aware of the fact that I don't eat. When I told her about what happened today, she immediately agreed with the tdoc's diagnosis.
What I think I'm going to do is talk to my regular tdoc before seeing a specialist. I'd like to know what he thinks since he has been seeing me for well over a year. He knows me well enough to be honest and can tell me whether or not it's true.
My next appointment with him is on Monday, so I'll let all of you know what he says at that time.
I honestly don't know if I have an ED. I sincerely hope I don't because I have a very good friend with ED who is checked weekly for her calorie consumption and weight loss/gain -- and I don't think I could handle that kind of stress every week. It's hard enough dealing with my rapid cycling without also having to worry about a tdoc, pdoc or nurse constantly asking me about my eating habits and weight gain/loss.
On one hand, I can see what the tdoc means and it makes perfect sense -- especially when it comes to my fear of gaining weight, losing weight because I don't eat and not having any desire to eat when I'm manic, depressed and "level." All of those behaviors aren't normal, so it would make sense that they could represent an ED.
At the same time, I don't mind not eating, so therefore I don't consider it a problem. Others do though. My sister, for instance, is very concerned about my eating habits and is aware of the fact that I don't eat. When I told her about what happened today, she immediately agreed with the tdoc's diagnosis.
What I think I'm going to do is talk to my regular tdoc before seeing a specialist. I'd like to know what he thinks since he has been seeing me for well over a year. He knows me well enough to be honest and can tell me whether or not it's true.
My next appointment with him is on Monday, so I'll let all of you know what he says at that time.
katlin09
12-02-2008, 01:30 PM
Good morning Dreams,
Hope you had a good night. I don't know that I have a "real" eating disorder but most of the time I don't eat. Especially if I'm depressed, I'll go for days without remembering to eat. And my pdoc always makes me check in on the scale, because as he says, "starving yourself doesn't get you anywhere and the meds won't work right without the proper nutrition". I always say I'm not starving myself, I'm just not hungry, and I'm not one of those people who can force myself to eat. I've never been a big food person, super picky. And I never ever eat all the food on my plate, it's a wierd thing with me, no matter how small of a portion I still won't finish it. I do freak out about gaining weight, because I lost 46 lbs last year and I don't want to gain it back, so I'm fastidious in regards to gaining even a pound. So my pdoc and I argue about it quite a bit. So I'm not sure if I have a proper eating disorder or if it's just part of the OCD, but I guess I definitely fit in the wierd category.
I hope you're continuing to feel better and will get sprung pretty soon.
Kat
Hope you had a good night. I don't know that I have a "real" eating disorder but most of the time I don't eat. Especially if I'm depressed, I'll go for days without remembering to eat. And my pdoc always makes me check in on the scale, because as he says, "starving yourself doesn't get you anywhere and the meds won't work right without the proper nutrition". I always say I'm not starving myself, I'm just not hungry, and I'm not one of those people who can force myself to eat. I've never been a big food person, super picky. And I never ever eat all the food on my plate, it's a wierd thing with me, no matter how small of a portion I still won't finish it. I do freak out about gaining weight, because I lost 46 lbs last year and I don't want to gain it back, so I'm fastidious in regards to gaining even a pound. So my pdoc and I argue about it quite a bit. So I'm not sure if I have a proper eating disorder or if it's just part of the OCD, but I guess I definitely fit in the wierd category.
I hope you're continuing to feel better and will get sprung pretty soon.
Kat
seaturtle
12-02-2008, 08:34 PM
Just saying Hi to both of you and hoping you're both feeling better really soon. And hoping you don't have EDs to contend with, too...
Best and blessings,
Seaturtle
Best and blessings,
Seaturtle
dreams in neon
12-02-2008, 09:48 PM
Kat and Seaturtle,
Good news!
I spoke to my doctor today about being placed on a migraine preventative. During our discussion I had the opportunity to ask her whether or not she thought I had an ED based on the symptoms I described in a previous post. She said "no" and that the behaviors I was exhibiting were strictly the result of my bipolar, rapid cycling and schizoaffective disorder. She also said that it's not unsual for someone who is manic or depressed to stop eating because when they're depressed, they don't *feel* like eating and when they're manic, they have so much energy inside of them that they don't *want* to eat. She recommended that I keep something like Ensure or Boost in my refrigerator at all times and suggested that at the very least I eat a bowl of cereal if I don't feel like eating anything else.
As for my migraine preventative, she prescribed a low dose of Topomax (25mg). I was told that if it doesn't improve my migraines within the next few weeks to give her a call so that she can increase the dosage. We'll keep upping the dosage if it doesn't work.
A friend of mine (the one who I told you had BPII) told me that Topomax is also a mood stabilizer and has mood stabilizing effects starting at 25mg. What a bonus! Wouldn't it be great if the Topomax also helped my moods?
By the way, the nurse at the doctor's office weighed me and I'm still holding at 117 pounds. My temperature was down to 97 degrees which she said was a little low (Hmmm. I thought that was considered "normal" for some people?).
I'm still sneezing, but the pdoc told me that's part of the uri which will gradually improve over the next several days. From what he said, I only have 5-8 more days before the infection will finally clear up.
My chest hurts *so* much from all of the sneezing, but at least I don't have a migraine, vomiting or extreme sound sensitivity.
Oh and I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I have an appointment scheduled with one of my new pdocs (I found two of them) on Thursday. From what the tdoc told me, he's supposed to be *very* good about adjusting or changing meds when his patients experience mania or depression. I was also told that he specializes in bipolar *and* schizoaffective, so that should be a really good match for me.
I'll let all of you know how Thursday's appointment goes at that time.
In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well and that the depression/fatigue Seaturtle has been having lately is improving.
Good news!
I spoke to my doctor today about being placed on a migraine preventative. During our discussion I had the opportunity to ask her whether or not she thought I had an ED based on the symptoms I described in a previous post. She said "no" and that the behaviors I was exhibiting were strictly the result of my bipolar, rapid cycling and schizoaffective disorder. She also said that it's not unsual for someone who is manic or depressed to stop eating because when they're depressed, they don't *feel* like eating and when they're manic, they have so much energy inside of them that they don't *want* to eat. She recommended that I keep something like Ensure or Boost in my refrigerator at all times and suggested that at the very least I eat a bowl of cereal if I don't feel like eating anything else.
As for my migraine preventative, she prescribed a low dose of Topomax (25mg). I was told that if it doesn't improve my migraines within the next few weeks to give her a call so that she can increase the dosage. We'll keep upping the dosage if it doesn't work.
A friend of mine (the one who I told you had BPII) told me that Topomax is also a mood stabilizer and has mood stabilizing effects starting at 25mg. What a bonus! Wouldn't it be great if the Topomax also helped my moods?
By the way, the nurse at the doctor's office weighed me and I'm still holding at 117 pounds. My temperature was down to 97 degrees which she said was a little low (Hmmm. I thought that was considered "normal" for some people?).
I'm still sneezing, but the pdoc told me that's part of the uri which will gradually improve over the next several days. From what he said, I only have 5-8 more days before the infection will finally clear up.
My chest hurts *so* much from all of the sneezing, but at least I don't have a migraine, vomiting or extreme sound sensitivity.
Oh and I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I have an appointment scheduled with one of my new pdocs (I found two of them) on Thursday. From what the tdoc told me, he's supposed to be *very* good about adjusting or changing meds when his patients experience mania or depression. I was also told that he specializes in bipolar *and* schizoaffective, so that should be a really good match for me.
I'll let all of you know how Thursday's appointment goes at that time.
In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well and that the depression/fatigue Seaturtle has been having lately is improving.
katlin09
12-02-2008, 09:49 PM
Seaturtle/Dreams:
Okay I went up to the next level on the Cymbalta dosage yesterday and the manic state is cming on fast, my brain is goign at 100 mph, the conversations won't stop, their driving me crazy! I'm trying not to leave the house so I don't do something stupid like go out cmas shoppting and spend a fortune and I have to go to my tdoc tomorrow and meet for an hour and try to stay calm????? Yeah right how the hell am I sposed to do that? I don't want her to call my pdoc and tell him I'm getting manic, because I want some time to push through this,I am not going to quit this med this soon and I have until Tuesday to get back to normal and Iknow once I get usde tothis dosage it will calm down I know it will. I hate this crap I hate this crap I hate it.
Okay I went up to the next level on the Cymbalta dosage yesterday and the manic state is cming on fast, my brain is goign at 100 mph, the conversations won't stop, their driving me crazy! I'm trying not to leave the house so I don't do something stupid like go out cmas shoppting and spend a fortune and I have to go to my tdoc tomorrow and meet for an hour and try to stay calm????? Yeah right how the hell am I sposed to do that? I don't want her to call my pdoc and tell him I'm getting manic, because I want some time to push through this,I am not going to quit this med this soon and I have until Tuesday to get back to normal and Iknow once I get usde tothis dosage it will calm down I know it will. I hate this crap I hate this crap I hate it.
dreams in neon
12-03-2008, 03:43 AM
((((((Kat)))))),
I'm sorry to hear about your mania. :(
If I were you, I would tell your pdoc what is going on so he can bump down your Cymbalta just a little so that the mania will ease a bit. I know you don't want to give up on the Cymbalta entirely, but perhaps you can decrease the dosage a tiny bit so you don't have to start from square one again with a new med.
You might want to try taking a short 15 minute nap to help calm yourself down. Listening to soft music may also help. Reading a good book is another idea.
I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if your tdoc notices your mania and points that out to you, it's probably best that you talk to your pdoc. After all, the last thing you want is for the mania to get worse or you ending up crashing and crashing hard.
Please try to hang in there. I know exactly how you feel because I felt the very same way when I was severely manic a week ago.
If you're continuing to struggle tonight, please post and let us know. I'm going to keep my computer on and check the boards throughout the night (since I can't sleep), so if you want to talk, just let me know, okay?
I know it's easier said than done, but try to hang in there!
Sending more hugs your way...
((((((Kat))))))
I'm sorry to hear about your mania. :(
If I were you, I would tell your pdoc what is going on so he can bump down your Cymbalta just a little so that the mania will ease a bit. I know you don't want to give up on the Cymbalta entirely, but perhaps you can decrease the dosage a tiny bit so you don't have to start from square one again with a new med.
You might want to try taking a short 15 minute nap to help calm yourself down. Listening to soft music may also help. Reading a good book is another idea.
I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if your tdoc notices your mania and points that out to you, it's probably best that you talk to your pdoc. After all, the last thing you want is for the mania to get worse or you ending up crashing and crashing hard.
Please try to hang in there. I know exactly how you feel because I felt the very same way when I was severely manic a week ago.
If you're continuing to struggle tonight, please post and let us know. I'm going to keep my computer on and check the boards throughout the night (since I can't sleep), so if you want to talk, just let me know, okay?
I know it's easier said than done, but try to hang in there!
Sending more hugs your way...
((((((Kat))))))
katlin09
12-03-2008, 01:55 PM
Dreams,
Hey, i'm doing a bit better, I hate this....this feeling of no control....I'm rarely manic only a few times a year or 'cuz of med changes..I hate to say it but I prefer my depression I'm so sorry that you have to do thia all the time I'd go crazy. I made it to work, but I can't really concentrate so I'm not getting much done.
My secretary is great, she's the only one here that knows my mental problms so she keeps me from going out into the main office when I'm to hyper and if i'm too depressed she keeps peeps away from our office. I don't know what I' do witout her. i wish my brain would slow down I try to think of one thing and 10 others pop in. I don't know if I told you but I hae cluster migraines, some last 10 to 16 days at a time and I take Topomax , it works great on the migrains, now I just get normal ones a couple times a month. I hope it works for you.
Well i'm off to the tdoc, I hope she doesn't think i'm nuts.
kat
Hey, i'm doing a bit better, I hate this....this feeling of no control....I'm rarely manic only a few times a year or 'cuz of med changes..I hate to say it but I prefer my depression I'm so sorry that you have to do thia all the time I'd go crazy. I made it to work, but I can't really concentrate so I'm not getting much done.
My secretary is great, she's the only one here that knows my mental problms so she keeps me from going out into the main office when I'm to hyper and if i'm too depressed she keeps peeps away from our office. I don't know what I' do witout her. i wish my brain would slow down I try to think of one thing and 10 others pop in. I don't know if I told you but I hae cluster migraines, some last 10 to 16 days at a time and I take Topomax , it works great on the migrains, now I just get normal ones a couple times a month. I hope it works for you.
Well i'm off to the tdoc, I hope she doesn't think i'm nuts.
kat
dreams in neon
12-03-2008, 02:12 PM
Hi everyone,
Right now I feel completely miserable. :(
I woke up last night with a dry, hacking cough that, along with the sneezing, is making my throat raw and sore.
When the nurse heard me coughing last night, she paged the pdoc who said this is part of the URI.
I just woke up a few minutes ago since I couldn't get any sleep for most of the night. I plan to ask the pdoc if he'll prescribe some cough medicine.
I'm also rapid cycling between mania and agitation.
:( :( :( :(
Right now I feel completely miserable. :(
I woke up last night with a dry, hacking cough that, along with the sneezing, is making my throat raw and sore.
When the nurse heard me coughing last night, she paged the pdoc who said this is part of the URI.
I just woke up a few minutes ago since I couldn't get any sleep for most of the night. I plan to ask the pdoc if he'll prescribe some cough medicine.
I'm also rapid cycling between mania and agitation.
:( :( :( :(
dreams in neon
12-03-2008, 03:52 PM
Hi Kat,
I'm sorry to hear that you're still experiencing mania. :(
Yes, rapid cycling stinks and can be very exhausting at times -- so much so that I can barely keep up with myself.
I love the initial periods of mania (when I have alot of energy, extreme happiness as well as high levels of creativity and productivity), but the tail end of it (when I experience depression, irritability and agitation -- sometimes even auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoa) is what I really struggle with.
I'm so darn frustrated right now because I'm sick and rapid cycling again. I was doing really well for awhile where I felt a sense of "normalcy," but once the URI hit, that all went completely downhill. :(
I'm so glad you have a great support system in your secretary. It's nice to know you don't have to worry about dealing with people when you're depressed or manic. I'm sure that makes your job a whole lot easier.
Cluster headaches -- ouch! And I thought migraines were bad! I can't imagine having such severe headache pain for 10-16 days. Trying to cope with migraine pain for 3 days is difficult enough!
Yes, I'm also hoping the Topomax will work well for me. My friend with BPII told me that some people absolutely love this drug while others hate it. If the 25mg dosage doesn't work well for me, I'll ask my doctor to raise it a few more times and if it's still not effective, I'll ask to go on Verapamil instead.
Let us know how your tdoc appointment goes today. I hope it goes well.
((((((Kat))))))
I'm sorry to hear that you're still experiencing mania. :(
Yes, rapid cycling stinks and can be very exhausting at times -- so much so that I can barely keep up with myself.
I love the initial periods of mania (when I have alot of energy, extreme happiness as well as high levels of creativity and productivity), but the tail end of it (when I experience depression, irritability and agitation -- sometimes even auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoa) is what I really struggle with.
I'm so darn frustrated right now because I'm sick and rapid cycling again. I was doing really well for awhile where I felt a sense of "normalcy," but once the URI hit, that all went completely downhill. :(
I'm so glad you have a great support system in your secretary. It's nice to know you don't have to worry about dealing with people when you're depressed or manic. I'm sure that makes your job a whole lot easier.
Cluster headaches -- ouch! And I thought migraines were bad! I can't imagine having such severe headache pain for 10-16 days. Trying to cope with migraine pain for 3 days is difficult enough!
Yes, I'm also hoping the Topomax will work well for me. My friend with BPII told me that some people absolutely love this drug while others hate it. If the 25mg dosage doesn't work well for me, I'll ask my doctor to raise it a few more times and if it's still not effective, I'll ask to go on Verapamil instead.
Let us know how your tdoc appointment goes today. I hope it goes well.
((((((Kat))))))
dreams in neon
12-04-2008, 01:21 AM
Hi everyone,
I'm feeling a little better now.
The pdoc prescribed some Robitussin for my dry cough and it seems to be helping. I'm still coughing, but I'm not having the constant coughing fits I was earlier today. (The pdoc also prescribed some cough drops, but I'm not going to touch those with a 10 foot pole. LOL)
My throat also feels better thanks to the cough syrup.
I just hope I don't get depressed once this URI is over with. I've been sick for so long that I don't even know what it's like to feel well.
I've also been rapid cycling, so when I do reach a state of "normalcy," I'll have to get used to it all over again.
Oh well. If I've been sick this long, a few more days won't hurt me.
Tomorrow I have my appointment with one of my new pdocs. I'm hoping that I'll feel well enough to go. If I do, I'll be sure to keep all of you posted as to what happened.
Have a good night, everyone.
I'm feeling a little better now.
The pdoc prescribed some Robitussin for my dry cough and it seems to be helping. I'm still coughing, but I'm not having the constant coughing fits I was earlier today. (The pdoc also prescribed some cough drops, but I'm not going to touch those with a 10 foot pole. LOL)
My throat also feels better thanks to the cough syrup.
I just hope I don't get depressed once this URI is over with. I've been sick for so long that I don't even know what it's like to feel well.
I've also been rapid cycling, so when I do reach a state of "normalcy," I'll have to get used to it all over again.
Oh well. If I've been sick this long, a few more days won't hurt me.
Tomorrow I have my appointment with one of my new pdocs. I'm hoping that I'll feel well enough to go. If I do, I'll be sure to keep all of you posted as to what happened.
Have a good night, everyone.