blugreen
11-22-2008, 09:19 AM
I don't know if this is something that everyone does, or if it may be something to do with my bipolar. I have a problem with having conversations with people in my head. Like, if I have something I want to tell someone about, I will start thinking about what I would tell them and 10-15 minutes later I realize I am still "talking" to that person in my head and I have to stop and literally tell myself, "they are not even here, they cannot hear you, you're wasting your time!" :rolleyes: I don't actually "hear" the voices, it's just thinking about it I guess, what I would say, what they would say. Sometimes it's about things that I probably wouldn't even end up talking to them about. Sometimes I think about talking to someone i'm mad at, or having a problem with and I have this whole conversation telling them how I feel, etc. Then I have to remind myself, "you are not even talking to them, this does no good because they can't hear you are just talking to yourself." It's not a huge problem for me, just an annoyance and it is definitely worse some days than others, I can be having these "conversations" with different people in my head all day long, it's very distracting. And other days, not really at all except when I'm not doing anything. Doesn't happen as much when I"m depressed. A lot when I can't sleep. So, anyone else experience this, or anything similar to it? :confused: I had to get up this morning and actually come to this board to ask because I have been doing it for the last hour when I couldn't go back to sleep! :mad:
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laurenp86
11-24-2008, 10:55 PM
wow i thought i was the only one!! it's not really a big problem to me and i often don't realise i'm doing it but come to think of it i think it's distracting for me aswell, i dont "hear" any voices but will often play out a conversation in my head between myself and someone i know when that person isnt even there!
tigger5150
11-25-2008, 01:38 AM
I do it as well, quite often as a matter of fact. But I'm also having now what I would consider auditory hallucinations at times along with doing this. So I don't think you're alone :)
soucie
11-25-2008, 01:38 AM
I do this too and I've been told that it is part of the "obsessing" tendency of bipolar. I've noticed that I don't do this as much now that I'm on meds.
blugreen
11-25-2008, 11:03 AM
I started on Lamictal last week and maybe it's starting to kick in a little bit, because I haven't found myself doing this in a couple of days. Which is actually quite nice. :D Glad to hear others doing this too. I figured it had something to do with the BP. I have done this for years (but not quite as bad) and really thought maybe everyone does, until it has gotten so bad the last couple of years. I have several obsessive tendencies that I really thought where no big deal and everyone did them, but now that I have really been thinking about all of mine, I can definitely attribute them to BP and not just something everyone does.
Daisy1126
11-25-2008, 05:27 PM
I also do this. Last week it was so bad that I couldn't sleep for a night. It's not so bad with the meds. Most often this happens when I'm angry about something or angry at someone. It think it helps me to process the situation and calms down the reaction that I end up having. Sometimes it's me having the conversation with me. Weird, I know. I did mention this to my tdoc and he didn't seem too alarmed, LOL
seaturtle
11-25-2008, 11:36 PM
Hi,
Yes, I do this, to o, but not so much since I'm on Lamictal. I don't think it's peculiar to bp: I know a lot of people who do it, too. It seems as if I do it when I haven't worked out something with someone and am too afraid to express my feeloings to them. I'm not good on confrontation, so I keep on trying on conversations to make it seem as if I am dealing with things when I'm not.
I also "try on" different approaches to see what might work.And when I'm angry, watch out! I'd never say to anyone what I say in my mind-conversations to them.
I guess the only time it becomes a problem for me is when it hits the obsessional level.
I think it's part of being human...but being bp, we manage to overdo almost everything.
Seaturtle
Yes, I do this, to o, but not so much since I'm on Lamictal. I don't think it's peculiar to bp: I know a lot of people who do it, too. It seems as if I do it when I haven't worked out something with someone and am too afraid to express my feeloings to them. I'm not good on confrontation, so I keep on trying on conversations to make it seem as if I am dealing with things when I'm not.
I also "try on" different approaches to see what might work.And when I'm angry, watch out! I'd never say to anyone what I say in my mind-conversations to them.
I guess the only time it becomes a problem for me is when it hits the obsessional level.
I think it's part of being human...but being bp, we manage to overdo almost everything.
Seaturtle
laurenp86
11-26-2008, 11:55 AM
what is Lamictal? I've heard of most of the mood stabilizing and anti psychotic medications, but never this one.
blugreen
11-26-2008, 12:02 PM
I find that it's a lot worse when I am angry or upset with someone too. But I also find that I have conversations with myself to myself sometimes, which is quite weird. :D I feel too that it helps a situation though. Helps me to think it through, it's so annoying when I'm trying to sleep and can't shut it off… :mad:
kaylakitty
11-27-2008, 02:16 AM
I do that!! So often i'll have a conversation in my head about how i want a conversation to go and how it ends up. Like i'll have a fake convo about telling my friend something, and my mind makes up a reaction and the convo continues until i stop myself and try and think of something else to do to stop obsessing over what 'could' happen.
katlin09
11-27-2008, 10:25 PM
I have these types of conversations in my head the night before I have to go and see my pdoc, just organizing the thoughts that I need to tell him, going over what I want to say, how I want to say it, so it makes sense, etc.
Lauren: Lamictal is a medication for Epilepsy that has recently been FDA approved for BiPolar it also goes by the name Lamotrigine. It works really well for most people, but some can have a very serious life threatening reaction to it, so it has to be monitored very closely by your pdoc. It has to be started as a very small dose like 25 mg and then slowly tritrated up over several weeks until your pdoc gets you to your therapeutic dose. Hope this has been helpful.
Lauren: Lamictal is a medication for Epilepsy that has recently been FDA approved for BiPolar it also goes by the name Lamotrigine. It works really well for most people, but some can have a very serious life threatening reaction to it, so it has to be monitored very closely by your pdoc. It has to be started as a very small dose like 25 mg and then slowly tritrated up over several weeks until your pdoc gets you to your therapeutic dose. Hope this has been helpful.
cool9
11-28-2008, 02:48 AM
I always go over conversations in my head throughout the day and especially when I go to bed. I try to think what I could have said better or try to analyze what someone was trying to convey to me or the way they looked at me trying to find other meanings within the conversation. I think I partly do this because I'm a weak socializer (my mind is constantly jumping around) and I pick apart my interaction trying to find ways in which I could improve but it's never helped over the last 30 yrs.
My mind has also always raced like mad and I've always been 6-8 thoughts ahead of myself and trouble sorting out thoughts during conversation all of which I have absolutely no control over. In my experience PDOCs don't tend to understand these things very well and don't take much notice. They don't consider this classic mania from what I've found.
Consequently, all of this has rendered me unable to work and of course, have any meaningful relationships.
My mind has also always raced like mad and I've always been 6-8 thoughts ahead of myself and trouble sorting out thoughts during conversation all of which I have absolutely no control over. In my experience PDOCs don't tend to understand these things very well and don't take much notice. They don't consider this classic mania from what I've found.
Consequently, all of this has rendered me unable to work and of course, have any meaningful relationships.
dreams in neon
11-28-2008, 09:11 AM
This kind of thing happens to me when I'm manic and/or experiencing a psychotic episode (auditory hallucinations).
Like other posters, I find myself having racing thoughts that go 100 mph or hearing conversations in my head that I've had or wish I had. I think about what I've said, what I could have said better and what I plan to say the next time.
I do this the night before my tdoc appointments so I have a mental outline of the things I want to discuss.
I also do the same thing the night before a pdoc appointment to make sure I don't forget anything important.
When I'm psychotic, the voices I hear talk to me and repeat conversations that I've had. Depending on how manic, paranoid and/or delusional I am, I talk back to them.
Quite frankly, it annoys the heck out of me.
Like other posters, I find myself having racing thoughts that go 100 mph or hearing conversations in my head that I've had or wish I had. I think about what I've said, what I could have said better and what I plan to say the next time.
I do this the night before my tdoc appointments so I have a mental outline of the things I want to discuss.
I also do the same thing the night before a pdoc appointment to make sure I don't forget anything important.
When I'm psychotic, the voices I hear talk to me and repeat conversations that I've had. Depending on how manic, paranoid and/or delusional I am, I talk back to them.
Quite frankly, it annoys the heck out of me.
JanBhere
11-28-2008, 02:23 PM
I asked my son if he had this problem. He said Yes very much so. He does it almost all the time. They say he is cyclothymic. The way I see this disorder It seems as if it is worse or just as bad as the Bipolar I and II. I guess it is the precursor to whats to come. I pray we make it through to his adult years...lol..
katlin09
11-28-2008, 04:23 PM
dreams,
It annoys me to, and sometimes just flat ticks me off as it usually occurs when I'm either relaxed and trying to go to sleep or driving, I've actually missed my exits or turns before, because my head is too busy having convesations with itself. The 100 mile an hour ones when your manic really suck!
Kat
It annoys me to, and sometimes just flat ticks me off as it usually occurs when I'm either relaxed and trying to go to sleep or driving, I've actually missed my exits or turns before, because my head is too busy having convesations with itself. The 100 mile an hour ones when your manic really suck!
Kat
dreams in neon
11-28-2008, 08:00 PM
Kat,
Yes, they do!
I also have problems with this at night. My sister thinks it's as easy as telling myself to relax and fall asleep, but it isn't that simple.
As for the 100 mph racing thoughts, it seems as though the more you try *not* to think about them, the more persistant those thoughts are.
Arghh.
Yes, they do!
I also have problems with this at night. My sister thinks it's as easy as telling myself to relax and fall asleep, but it isn't that simple.
As for the 100 mph racing thoughts, it seems as though the more you try *not* to think about them, the more persistant those thoughts are.
Arghh.
cool9
11-29-2008, 03:42 AM
It would be nice to be able to function like most others do and be able to hold concentration for long periods of time without being interrupted by racing thoughts or minor distractions.
My PDOC told me that they are working on developing a 3rd Bipolar category (Bipolar III) in Psychiatry which would be less than hypomania. So there's years to go before all of this starts to get figured out. They're just scraping the surface.
My PDOC told me that they are working on developing a 3rd Bipolar category (Bipolar III) in Psychiatry which would be less than hypomania. So there's years to go before all of this starts to get figured out. They're just scraping the surface.
dreams in neon
11-29-2008, 09:13 AM
cool9,
You mentioned that they are working on a new bipolar category. Would bipolar III be considered less severe and cyclical than cyclothymia? If so, what kind of emotions are involved -- depression that alternates with a "normal" mood state? If anyone knows more about bipolar III, I'd be interested in learning more.
You mentioned that they are working on a new bipolar category. Would bipolar III be considered less severe and cyclical than cyclothymia? If so, what kind of emotions are involved -- depression that alternates with a "normal" mood state? If anyone knows more about bipolar III, I'd be interested in learning more.
andfasterwefall
11-29-2008, 02:28 PM
Oh wow... I've always done this but I didn't realize it wasn't normal... is it not?
Whenever I have something important to talk about to someone I find myself zoning out for 10-15 minutes at a time talking to them in my head, with them having responses to things I am saying. I guess it usually happens when I'm talking to a girlfriend/ex-girlfriend about something I want to say to them.
I am bipolar and have had serious relationship problems over the past 9 years (I'm 27 now). It has affected even my engagement to a girl I loved and I find myself even now talking to her and her giving me responses that I want to hear. Then, when I try talking to her, it's completely different and I end up going manic for a few days.
Whenever I have something important to talk about to someone I find myself zoning out for 10-15 minutes at a time talking to them in my head, with them having responses to things I am saying. I guess it usually happens when I'm talking to a girlfriend/ex-girlfriend about something I want to say to them.
I am bipolar and have had serious relationship problems over the past 9 years (I'm 27 now). It has affected even my engagement to a girl I loved and I find myself even now talking to her and her giving me responses that I want to hear. Then, when I try talking to her, it's completely different and I end up going manic for a few days.
cool9
11-29-2008, 03:52 PM
PDOC told me that BP III would be a lesser mania than hypomania. I don't know about cycles. Probably take a few years to have the medical community agree on another BP category.
BP definitely messes with your concentration. My last 2 years of college I couldn't take tests because I would get distracted by the smallest thing: someone coughing, someone turning pages, someone sniffling, etc. I would lose my train of thought and I would have to start all over on the problem I was working on. Consequently, I failed 2 courses and got 2 D's in my Junior year.
BP definitely messes with your concentration. My last 2 years of college I couldn't take tests because I would get distracted by the smallest thing: someone coughing, someone turning pages, someone sniffling, etc. I would lose my train of thought and I would have to start all over on the problem I was working on. Consequently, I failed 2 courses and got 2 D's in my Junior year.
katlin09
11-29-2008, 06:58 PM
Have you ever asked your pdoc to test you for ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) on top of your BP?
Kat
Kat
dreams in neon
11-30-2008, 07:29 AM
cool9,
Thanks for your reply.
I'm having a difficult time understanding what mania that is less than hypomania would be like. Hmmm.
At any rate, I'll be curious to learn more about BPIII once they come to an agreement on its' definition and symptomotology.
Thanks for your reply.
I'm having a difficult time understanding what mania that is less than hypomania would be like. Hmmm.
At any rate, I'll be curious to learn more about BPIII once they come to an agreement on its' definition and symptomotology.
blugreen
12-01-2008, 10:50 AM
I have so much trouble with concentration for a while now too. Not only do i have the conversations in my head, but I never finish a task, put things off till the last minute, etc. I don't think I had a problem with concentration growing up, but have always put things off, not finished things. I am a transcriptionist and i sit all day at home typing. At least, that's what i am supposed to be doing.
I get so distracted. I start looking things up online, start reading this board ;), whatever, just anything other than working. then an hour later I realize what i am doing and I am so frustrated and mad at myself. I don't get paid to look online, i get paid to TYPE!! Supposed to be working right now and look at me. :mad: My doc said that when I go back this month we will talk more about testing me for ADD, but said that a lot of BP symptoms can mimic ADD, as far as the inability to concentrate. They wanted to see if the concentration got better once the Lamictal started kicking in. Anyone else have ADD on top of the BP?
I get so distracted. I start looking things up online, start reading this board ;), whatever, just anything other than working. then an hour later I realize what i am doing and I am so frustrated and mad at myself. I don't get paid to look online, i get paid to TYPE!! Supposed to be working right now and look at me. :mad: My doc said that when I go back this month we will talk more about testing me for ADD, but said that a lot of BP symptoms can mimic ADD, as far as the inability to concentrate. They wanted to see if the concentration got better once the Lamictal started kicking in. Anyone else have ADD on top of the BP?
Daisy1126
12-01-2008, 11:23 PM
I was diagnosed bipolar and ADD. Alot of the symptoms overlap so it was all very confusing! My concentration and ability to focus was horrible and I was so easily distracted that I was getting no work done. I was pretty nervous about losing my job. My pdoc addressed the bipolar first and my mood was stabalized with Trileptal. This did alleviate some of the symptoms but I still wasn't able to do alot of things I needed to do. Simple things and mundane things were nearly impossible for me. Pdoc started me on Concerta for the ADD. He was initially very cautious with dosing so I didn't get knocked into a bout of mania, but one month into it and so far, so good. It feels like the Concerta just tied up the loose ends left by the Trileptal. I'm actually able to make a plan, follow it through and accomplish what I need to do. Sounds simple, but it was impossible for me prior to the right combo of meds.
blugreen
12-02-2008, 10:49 AM
Oh gosh, I hope they do that for me when I go back in a couple weeks. I would like to just try something for ADD and see if it helps. I am so scatterbrained. And, once again, I am supposed to be working and look what I am doing!!
xblondeangel650
12-04-2008, 03:26 PM
Yeah wow that's called scatter brain,I definately suffer with that when I'm out and about.My anxiety is highest when I'm at work or with people trying to have a good time.I forsee conversations and situations in my mind,it's weird.It's part of the mania,I always have this look of thought that people wonder about.I could be talking to someone and be thinking of thoughts that have nothing to do with it.Medication for Bipolar,thank god for that because I would never be able to get a grasp of it.
mummykiss
12-07-2008, 08:44 PM
I am half way through "Understanding the Mind of Your Bipolar Child" (Gregory T. Lombardo, M.D., Ph.D.) I am myself Bipolar and believe both of my sons (16 + 12) to be aswell. I am having great difficulty in getting a diagnosis! You would think I was from another planet. Anyway, back to the book. It goes right back to infancy through to adolescence. Already, I have learnt so much about myself in childhood and the way i am now. What a complex illness! Anyone who is bipolar or has a bipolar child should definately read this extremely informative book. Excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes..........blame the bipolar!!!
proudmommie
08-14-2009, 11:43 PM
Hi,
Yes, I do this, to o, but not so much since I'm on Lamictal. I don't think it's peculiar to bp: I know a lot of people who do it, too. It seems as if I do it when I haven't worked out something with someone and am too afraid to express my feeloings to them. I'm not good on confrontation, so I keep on trying on conversations to make it seem as if I am dealing with things when I'm not.
I also "try on" different approaches to see what might work.And when I'm angry, watch out! I'd never say to anyone what I say in my mind-conversations to them.
I guess the only time it becomes a problem for me is when it hits the obsessional level.
I think it's part of being human...but being bp, we manage to overdo almost everything.
Seaturtle
I felt so stupid because I thought I was the only one. I do the conversation thing in my head when I want to say something to someone. I can easily say them in my head but when I get in front of the person I freeze up and forget what I want to say. I conversate with myself because I'm afraid I will forget to say what I really want to say to the person but of course I still let the person walk all over me and don't stand up for myself when the time comes.
Yes, I do this, to o, but not so much since I'm on Lamictal. I don't think it's peculiar to bp: I know a lot of people who do it, too. It seems as if I do it when I haven't worked out something with someone and am too afraid to express my feeloings to them. I'm not good on confrontation, so I keep on trying on conversations to make it seem as if I am dealing with things when I'm not.
I also "try on" different approaches to see what might work.And when I'm angry, watch out! I'd never say to anyone what I say in my mind-conversations to them.
I guess the only time it becomes a problem for me is when it hits the obsessional level.
I think it's part of being human...but being bp, we manage to overdo almost everything.
Seaturtle
I felt so stupid because I thought I was the only one. I do the conversation thing in my head when I want to say something to someone. I can easily say them in my head but when I get in front of the person I freeze up and forget what I want to say. I conversate with myself because I'm afraid I will forget to say what I really want to say to the person but of course I still let the person walk all over me and don't stand up for myself when the time comes.
proudmommie
08-14-2009, 11:48 PM
I do this too and I've been told that it is part of the "obsessing" tendency of bipolar. I've noticed that I don't do this as much now that I'm on meds.
May I ask what are you on? I do the obsessing but I'm waiting for an appt. and I fear the diagnosis and the medicine. I have trouble with confrontation. I have conversations of the confrontation in my head but when it's time talk to the person I don't know what to say I'm so nervous.
May I ask what are you on? I do the obsessing but I'm waiting for an appt. and I fear the diagnosis and the medicine. I have trouble with confrontation. I have conversations of the confrontation in my head but when it's time talk to the person I don't know what to say I'm so nervous.
windimeria2000
08-15-2009, 01:03 AM
I do the same thing Seaturtle does.....
TytoAlba
08-22-2009, 05:03 PM
Hi all,
I'm new here. This is my first post. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II 12 years ago, but correctly diagnosed last year as Bipolar I with mixed episodes. I find that this obsessing of conversations and situations happens to me quite often -- even when I'm not in a major mania. It most often occurs when I'm falling asleep, as some of you have also said. I play out different conversations and situations and "every single possibility" I can think of. The only way I can calm this down is to take some Xanax. Even .25 mg helps me. Otherwise I'm up al night! I don't know about the rest of you, but about 90% of the time, the conversation or situation that I've been anticipating never actually happens -- and if it actually does, it is completely different than the situations I've created in my head (and usually not as bad)! :)
I'm new here. This is my first post. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II 12 years ago, but correctly diagnosed last year as Bipolar I with mixed episodes. I find that this obsessing of conversations and situations happens to me quite often -- even when I'm not in a major mania. It most often occurs when I'm falling asleep, as some of you have also said. I play out different conversations and situations and "every single possibility" I can think of. The only way I can calm this down is to take some Xanax. Even .25 mg helps me. Otherwise I'm up al night! I don't know about the rest of you, but about 90% of the time, the conversation or situation that I've been anticipating never actually happens -- and if it actually does, it is completely different than the situations I've created in my head (and usually not as bad)! :)
Sad 101
08-24-2009, 06:01 AM
I have this problem except it's more like my voice and a whole bunch of other voices all mumbbling together and it get's faster and faster. Since being on Epival for the last 2 1/2 months I have not had this happen but that's the only thing that the meds helping with. Anger,anxiety,depression,mania etc all still there :(
electric blue
08-26-2009, 10:16 AM
Hi all,
I'm new here. This is my first post. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II 12 years ago, but correctly diagnosed last year as Bipolar I with mixed episodes. I find that this obsessing of conversations and situations happens to me quite often -- even when I'm not in a major mania. It most often occurs when I'm falling asleep, as some of you have also said. I play out different conversations and situations and "every single possibility" I can think of. The only way I can calm this down is to take some Xanax. Even .25 mg helps me. Otherwise I'm up al night! I don't know about the rest of you, but about 90% of the time, the conversation or situation that I've been anticipating never actually happens -- and if it actually does, it is completely different than the situations I've created in my head (and usually not as bad)! :)
Hi TytoAlba,
I'd like to welcome you to the board :) i'm sure you'll find a lot of help here.
I know what it's like to go through every possibility over things and lose sleep over it all and then find nothing was as bad as you thought. It doesn't happen to me all the time but when it does, it's awful.
Anyway, keep posting :)
Stay well and happy today
Electric blue
I'm new here. This is my first post. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II 12 years ago, but correctly diagnosed last year as Bipolar I with mixed episodes. I find that this obsessing of conversations and situations happens to me quite often -- even when I'm not in a major mania. It most often occurs when I'm falling asleep, as some of you have also said. I play out different conversations and situations and "every single possibility" I can think of. The only way I can calm this down is to take some Xanax. Even .25 mg helps me. Otherwise I'm up al night! I don't know about the rest of you, but about 90% of the time, the conversation or situation that I've been anticipating never actually happens -- and if it actually does, it is completely different than the situations I've created in my head (and usually not as bad)! :)
Hi TytoAlba,
I'd like to welcome you to the board :) i'm sure you'll find a lot of help here.
I know what it's like to go through every possibility over things and lose sleep over it all and then find nothing was as bad as you thought. It doesn't happen to me all the time but when it does, it's awful.
Anyway, keep posting :)
Stay well and happy today
Electric blue
amandalynn636
08-27-2009, 06:00 PM
I do this even with my meds:D
sfitz
08-28-2009, 07:21 PM
Ditto here, I thought everyone did it :D When I'm manic it's a nonstop loop though, it runs faster and faster and won't be shut off, so I am up all night with it.
Brains are weird!
Brains are weird!
kdin
08-28-2009, 07:51 PM
Yup. Do it all of the time. If I'm out and around people it's REALLY distracting because I can't pay attention if someone is talking to me. I have to concentrate so hard to concentrate on what they are saying and to turn off what my mind is chatting about.
It's also one of the things that I do most every night and is a big deterrent from me being able to sleep. The last couple of weeks have been horrible. I try old cognitive-behavioral OCD tricks but it even seems to overpower those. And at night i'm usually so exhausted that the thought of doing breathing exercises or counting (really concentrating on the numbers and picturing each in my head...this used to work really well when I was convinced that there was alway someone on the subway reading my mind) are too exhausting to even think about doing.
Can't turn the brain off.
It's also one of the things that I do most every night and is a big deterrent from me being able to sleep. The last couple of weeks have been horrible. I try old cognitive-behavioral OCD tricks but it even seems to overpower those. And at night i'm usually so exhausted that the thought of doing breathing exercises or counting (really concentrating on the numbers and picturing each in my head...this used to work really well when I was convinced that there was alway someone on the subway reading my mind) are too exhausting to even think about doing.
Can't turn the brain off.