E1979
11-25-2008, 09:34 PM
Ok so my DS is 17 months old and still doesn't speak much at all. I am getting SO VERY WORRIED about this. People keep telling me not to but from everything I read he should be say a heck of a lot more than he can. I just read an article about making sure your 16 month old start to use Please and Thankyou...I can't even get him to say anything never mind those words!!!
What he can say are even said correctly either.
Here is where he is:
"uck uck" means duck
"ow" means meow(what does a kitty say?)
and he says Mama and Dada. And that folks is pretty much it. He makes a sound that kinda sounds like "hi" and he uses it in the appropriate situations you would say hello.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help him. I am pretty sure he hears fine because he can answer some questions by shaking or nodding his head. He will come or at least look at you if you call his name.
For the most part he communicates by either screaming or grunting and pointing.
Does anyone think that maybe not being in daycare and hence around other children could be slowing him down developmentally? What can I do? I am so worried about my little boy.
What he can say are even said correctly either.
Here is where he is:
"uck uck" means duck
"ow" means meow(what does a kitty say?)
and he says Mama and Dada. And that folks is pretty much it. He makes a sound that kinda sounds like "hi" and he uses it in the appropriate situations you would say hello.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help him. I am pretty sure he hears fine because he can answer some questions by shaking or nodding his head. He will come or at least look at you if you call his name.
For the most part he communicates by either screaming or grunting and pointing.
Does anyone think that maybe not being in daycare and hence around other children could be slowing him down developmentally? What can I do? I am so worried about my little boy.
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LauraLu
11-25-2008, 10:53 PM
Hi E!
Not being in daycare or not being around other children will NOT slow him down developmentally. My mom watches my daughter for me during the day with no other kids around and we have the opposite issue - Madeline doesn't stop talking and she repeats everything we say.
My brother's boys on the other hand are 20 months old and barely speak a word! I'm not sure if being twins has anything to do with it or if being a male might contribute. I always heard that females pick up speech and vocabulary faster than males. Maybe this is true?
I don't know if you do this or not, but I say the name of EVERYTHING that Madeline points to or plays with. I've even heard of some crazy parents labeling things...we don't go that far.
I've been doing this since day one, and yeah, I feel silly sometimes in stores, but I get over it because that's how we talk. Madeline's also very curious and remembers EVERYTHING. Right now, everything is "Hot, yellow, milk". She gets stuck on words and won't stop saying them...Maybe consider youself lucky? I'm so tired of being called "lellow", lol.
The next time your son grunts, I would point to the object he's wanting and pronounce it very slowly and clearly for him. If he's watching your lips, then he's into the sounds you're making and wants to remember and keep learning. Keep doing it!
I'm not sure if that helps or not, but that's what we've always done, and it works wonderfully. Have you ever considered sign language? We also do this and it has worked great. Just something else to check out.
Not being in daycare or not being around other children will NOT slow him down developmentally. My mom watches my daughter for me during the day with no other kids around and we have the opposite issue - Madeline doesn't stop talking and she repeats everything we say.
My brother's boys on the other hand are 20 months old and barely speak a word! I'm not sure if being twins has anything to do with it or if being a male might contribute. I always heard that females pick up speech and vocabulary faster than males. Maybe this is true?
I don't know if you do this or not, but I say the name of EVERYTHING that Madeline points to or plays with. I've even heard of some crazy parents labeling things...we don't go that far.
I've been doing this since day one, and yeah, I feel silly sometimes in stores, but I get over it because that's how we talk. Madeline's also very curious and remembers EVERYTHING. Right now, everything is "Hot, yellow, milk". She gets stuck on words and won't stop saying them...Maybe consider youself lucky? I'm so tired of being called "lellow", lol.
The next time your son grunts, I would point to the object he's wanting and pronounce it very slowly and clearly for him. If he's watching your lips, then he's into the sounds you're making and wants to remember and keep learning. Keep doing it!
I'm not sure if that helps or not, but that's what we've always done, and it works wonderfully. Have you ever considered sign language? We also do this and it has worked great. Just something else to check out.
youneeak
11-26-2008, 08:40 PM
Hi E!
I know you have mentioned this several times with your little on that you are concerned with speech & development. My advise to you (as a preschool special education teacher who has heard from parents time and time again that they "knew" something was wrong but waited until they were 3 or 4 to have them evaluated)...is to take him to a speech therapist or developmental psychologist and just to have them look at him and see what their opinion is after they observe him. This may seem like a severe step to take and others may criticize, but I am a FIRM BELIEVER in TRUSTING your mother's intuition!
I'm sure you're doing everything you can to help encourage speech, but like LauraLu said, I do the same thing with Ella. I have been talking to her since the day she was born and of course labeling everything. I'm sure you're doing all that and I really have no other advice.
Is he doing ok in other developmental areas? Fine motor? Gross Motor? Other areas of communication (eye contact, following directions, showing receptive understanding?)
As far as Ella goes (who is also a July 07 baby) she has probably 30 words that she uses (not all daily, but consistently enough that I am comfortable saying she has that many words). She will also repeat almost anything we say (when we are alone...when we are in front of other people she refuses, it's like she knows we're trying to get her to "perform." haha). If I remember correctly from my developmental books- by 18 months the average number of words is 15-20. (don't quote me, I could be mistaken, I'm going by memory on that one).
Good luck!!
Sarah
I know you have mentioned this several times with your little on that you are concerned with speech & development. My advise to you (as a preschool special education teacher who has heard from parents time and time again that they "knew" something was wrong but waited until they were 3 or 4 to have them evaluated)...is to take him to a speech therapist or developmental psychologist and just to have them look at him and see what their opinion is after they observe him. This may seem like a severe step to take and others may criticize, but I am a FIRM BELIEVER in TRUSTING your mother's intuition!
I'm sure you're doing everything you can to help encourage speech, but like LauraLu said, I do the same thing with Ella. I have been talking to her since the day she was born and of course labeling everything. I'm sure you're doing all that and I really have no other advice.
Is he doing ok in other developmental areas? Fine motor? Gross Motor? Other areas of communication (eye contact, following directions, showing receptive understanding?)
As far as Ella goes (who is also a July 07 baby) she has probably 30 words that she uses (not all daily, but consistently enough that I am comfortable saying she has that many words). She will also repeat almost anything we say (when we are alone...when we are in front of other people she refuses, it's like she knows we're trying to get her to "perform." haha). If I remember correctly from my developmental books- by 18 months the average number of words is 15-20. (don't quote me, I could be mistaken, I'm going by memory on that one).
Good luck!!
Sarah
E1979
11-26-2008, 09:59 PM
Ok you have freak me right out!!! I thought it was five words by 18 months. At least that what his Dr told me.
megss
11-26-2008, 11:29 PM
Hi E-
I also agree with Laura that it has nothing to do with him not being in day care or around other children. Grace (14.5 months) has never been in day care and does not have any siblings, but she can say about 10-12 words. Not all of them are perfect though ("Thanks" is "Tink").
A good friend of mine was worried about her son as well. He wasn't talking much, and she had him evaluated. As soon as he turned 2, he started talking in full sentences practically. I think there is some truth to males taking a little more time. Your DS is probably saying more than you think, you just can't tell what he is saying. Grace keeps saying these 2 phrases, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what they are, but I know they mean something to her. "Nnn-T" and "Mmm-P". It's so funny.
Maybe have him evaluated for some peace of mind, and if there is a problem, you can get a head start on working on it with him.
I also agree with Laura that it has nothing to do with him not being in day care or around other children. Grace (14.5 months) has never been in day care and does not have any siblings, but she can say about 10-12 words. Not all of them are perfect though ("Thanks" is "Tink").
A good friend of mine was worried about her son as well. He wasn't talking much, and she had him evaluated. As soon as he turned 2, he started talking in full sentences practically. I think there is some truth to males taking a little more time. Your DS is probably saying more than you think, you just can't tell what he is saying. Grace keeps saying these 2 phrases, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what they are, but I know they mean something to her. "Nnn-T" and "Mmm-P". It's so funny.
Maybe have him evaluated for some peace of mind, and if there is a problem, you can get a head start on working on it with him.
E1979
11-27-2008, 10:56 AM
He does communicate very well in other ways. He also seems ahead of schedule with more physical things like his mine and large motor skills. My hubby says he thinks he can talk he just chooses not to right now for whatever reason.
Meggs you could be right. He may be saying other things but I just don't understand them because they are not that close to the way you would actually say the word. My MIL insists he says "stop" or a variation of it whenever they come to a stop sign on their walks/drives.
His 18 month checkup is in January. I guess when we go I will discuss it again with his doctor. I think I have brought it up at the last 3 visits!
Should I go sooner though? Or would waiting a month be fine?
DH thinks he's fine and thinks I am way over reacting. He does think that he may be a little behind in the speech but he say he doesn't see that as a problem.
Oh and I have also heard many times that males typically take longer to talk than girls. Not only do I want to make sure he's on track and not behind where he should be in development, I also can't wait to hear his little voice talking to me!
Meggs you could be right. He may be saying other things but I just don't understand them because they are not that close to the way you would actually say the word. My MIL insists he says "stop" or a variation of it whenever they come to a stop sign on their walks/drives.
His 18 month checkup is in January. I guess when we go I will discuss it again with his doctor. I think I have brought it up at the last 3 visits!
Should I go sooner though? Or would waiting a month be fine?
DH thinks he's fine and thinks I am way over reacting. He does think that he may be a little behind in the speech but he say he doesn't see that as a problem.
Oh and I have also heard many times that males typically take longer to talk than girls. Not only do I want to make sure he's on track and not behind where he should be in development, I also can't wait to hear his little voice talking to me!
WhiskersOnKittens
11-27-2008, 05:11 PM
Hi E,
I also agree that girls tend to pick up speaking earlier than males (in general). I've heard that boys make a lot of "sounds", but as far as actual words go, they really start using them when they're older than the girls.
My ds is 18.5 months, and I'd say he uses probably about 8 words that I can understand on a regular basis, but like someone else said, there are certain phrases that he uses ALL the time, and I have no idea what they mean! I also label everything (actually one of the things he says a million times a day is "what's that?" but it sounds more like "wa da" or "was a", so I'm labeling more than ever since he began that), and I know he knows what stuff is because I can say "Mommy's going to vacuum now", and he'll go open up the closet, and point to the vacuum. He can also follow simple directions like "Go find blankie", and he will do it. So I'm not too worried about what he actually says. He uses a lot of constant sounds so I know he can hear me just fine, and I'm confident that one day he'll just babble a sentance, when I'm least expecting it!
I also agree to trust your mother's intuition, so if you think something might be wrong, definitely take him to see a professional (like a speech pathologist), and see what they say. If it were me, I'd just wait a month until his check up, but if you're really worried and can get him in, there's nothing wrong with being concerned with his well-being. And your doctor might know of a fantastic specialist, that he'll be happy to send you to!
Whiskers :)
I also agree that girls tend to pick up speaking earlier than males (in general). I've heard that boys make a lot of "sounds", but as far as actual words go, they really start using them when they're older than the girls.
My ds is 18.5 months, and I'd say he uses probably about 8 words that I can understand on a regular basis, but like someone else said, there are certain phrases that he uses ALL the time, and I have no idea what they mean! I also label everything (actually one of the things he says a million times a day is "what's that?" but it sounds more like "wa da" or "was a", so I'm labeling more than ever since he began that), and I know he knows what stuff is because I can say "Mommy's going to vacuum now", and he'll go open up the closet, and point to the vacuum. He can also follow simple directions like "Go find blankie", and he will do it. So I'm not too worried about what he actually says. He uses a lot of constant sounds so I know he can hear me just fine, and I'm confident that one day he'll just babble a sentance, when I'm least expecting it!
I also agree to trust your mother's intuition, so if you think something might be wrong, definitely take him to see a professional (like a speech pathologist), and see what they say. If it were me, I'd just wait a month until his check up, but if you're really worried and can get him in, there's nothing wrong with being concerned with his well-being. And your doctor might know of a fantastic specialist, that he'll be happy to send you to!
Whiskers :)
Delia79
11-28-2008, 11:35 AM
E,
I am going to join the gang and agree not to worry, even though that is NOT easy to do when you are a mother. I can say though that I do think, not so much with speech, but with other things, that children in day care pick up things that kids who are home do not right away. Two of my girl friends have girls Ella's age, and they seem so different to me than she does. Just more outgoing, loud, adventurous etc. When we are around them, Ella just kind of sits back quietly and watches them and if they get too close, she gets scared and cries or runs to me to be picked up. I know it's because she is not used to other children on a daily basis the way they are, and she doesn't see other children doing these things, so she herself doesn't try them. I used to get upset and worry that she was too shy or backwards or maybe behind in development or something, but now I just realize that she is exposed to different surroundings than they are on a daily basis, so that is just the way she is and that is just the way they are. There is nothing wrong with it. I also agree with Meggs that maybe he is saying things and you just can't make them out yet. Ella has complete conversations with me, herself, the cat even, but no one can understand one word of it. Except for her I guess. :D Just give it some more time and mention it again at his next appointment. But if you are truly concerned, be firm with his doctor and remind him that you've been concerned for a while and would appreciate him looking into it a little further. Don't worry though, I am sure your little boy is just fine!
I am going to join the gang and agree not to worry, even though that is NOT easy to do when you are a mother. I can say though that I do think, not so much with speech, but with other things, that children in day care pick up things that kids who are home do not right away. Two of my girl friends have girls Ella's age, and they seem so different to me than she does. Just more outgoing, loud, adventurous etc. When we are around them, Ella just kind of sits back quietly and watches them and if they get too close, she gets scared and cries or runs to me to be picked up. I know it's because she is not used to other children on a daily basis the way they are, and she doesn't see other children doing these things, so she herself doesn't try them. I used to get upset and worry that she was too shy or backwards or maybe behind in development or something, but now I just realize that she is exposed to different surroundings than they are on a daily basis, so that is just the way she is and that is just the way they are. There is nothing wrong with it. I also agree with Meggs that maybe he is saying things and you just can't make them out yet. Ella has complete conversations with me, herself, the cat even, but no one can understand one word of it. Except for her I guess. :D Just give it some more time and mention it again at his next appointment. But if you are truly concerned, be firm with his doctor and remind him that you've been concerned for a while and would appreciate him looking into it a little further. Don't worry though, I am sure your little boy is just fine!
E1979
11-29-2008, 06:17 PM
Tanner talks all the time but it's the baby babbling. But you can tell by the look on his face and the way he says it that to him he's saying real words. Does that make sense?
megss
11-30-2008, 01:37 AM
That makes perfect sense! Grace does the exact same thing. She will just go on and on, and point to things. I know she is telling me something very important:) I just nod and say "really? Wow!" It sounds like it could be a real language actually. I LOVE listening to it!
simplyheather
12-01-2008, 12:08 PM
E - Our sons are almost the same exact age - July 19 is my son's DOB, and I was also very concerned about his speech. He was saying Mama, Dada and Oscar (the cat), but that kinda just sounded like "ka-ka" lol. And that was it, for a long time... then it seems like in the past week, his vocab just exploded. Now he says about 12 words. And is repeating more and more everyday, although not using them, just saying it once. Please do not worry too much about it. I know its very frustrating, but one day he'll just start saying all kinds of stuff, and you'll be surprised! Just keep working with him, and reading to him, and he'll start talking before you know it... then you'll be wondering how to shut him up!!! hahaha
E1979
12-01-2008, 09:46 PM
It's so funny you said that b/c just today he said a sound that sounded a lot like "down" while he was touching his toes and what sounded like "up" minus the "p" when he was reaching up to the ceiling. A little up/down game we play;)
And when I asked him what a cow says? He said "mmmm" and I know that's not what they say but I had been working on "moo" with him for a while and to me it sounded like he was trying to say it.
And when I asked him what a cow says? He said "mmmm" and I know that's not what they say but I had been working on "moo" with him for a while and to me it sounded like he was trying to say it.
newbmom
12-01-2008, 11:25 PM
I am a speech language pathologist and I just wanted to say a little on this subject. It sounds like the boys are within the normal range as to when they start to speak. The range varies from child to child also. It can also be affected by birth order (I am the youngest and still have to fight to get a word in edgewise). But keep talking to him and responding like he is saying a full sentence when he jargons (strings of adult like speech). Is he following directions? Receptive language develops first followed by expressive. If he seems to get frustrated by not being able to verbally express himself or you think there are other issues inquire about an early intervention evaluation. In Brooklyn these are done for free but you usually have to get the pedatrician on the band wagon. The usual response is "wait 6 months". Also if the child is working on other skills such as walking, climbing ect then language may take the back seat until the gross motor skill or other skills is learned. Keep language learning fun and it can involve all every day activities. Body parts during dressing and bathing, colors during play, spatial relations during dressing/playing, actions during mealtimes, bedtime routines, in the car, out for a walk label things, colors, people, animals ect. Also keep sentences simple and short and a little slower than adult speech. I hope this helps but ultimately if you continue to be concerned push for an evaluation to ensure that his total speech and language skills are developing as they should. good luck.
E1979
12-02-2008, 09:36 PM
Thanks so much for your input. He follows direction pretty well. He can also answer many questions with a shake of the head or nod for yes. Mind you he does sometimes start to scream and it does appear that he is frustrated because we aren't doing what he wants because we don't know what he wants. Is that a bad sign?
If you could answer one more thing for me, do the words count if he doesn't say them right? Like "mmmm" for "moo" and "uck" for "duck"? Or do the words have to be said correctly to count as a work he knows? He uses these words at the right time.
If you could answer one more thing for me, do the words count if he doesn't say them right? Like "mmmm" for "moo" and "uck" for "duck"? Or do the words have to be said correctly to count as a work he knows? He uses these words at the right time.
youneeak
12-03-2008, 08:46 PM
I count it as a word if Ella says the same thing consistently...so if she always says "uck" for duck then I count it as a word. At 16 months they do not yet have all the articulation abilities to create the full sounds. For example, one of her friends is named Alison, and obviously a 3 syllable name is difficult for my 16 month old, but everyday she sees her she said "Aeeeeeeesiiiiin" so although it's not exactly alison, it's close enough. Does that make sense?
E1979
12-03-2008, 09:26 PM
Yes it does make sense. And I am very glad to hear that those words count otherwise his total word count would be ZERO! :)
E1979
12-04-2008, 01:29 PM
Exciting news!!! We now have "knock knock" to add to our list. This morning when DH was in the washroom shaving Tanner went up to the door and knocked on it and said "ock ock' in the same sing song voice you would say knock knock in.
newbmom
12-04-2008, 09:15 PM
I think you can count those as words since he uses them consistently. Also some sounds are not mastered until much later in childhood and misarticulations are expected and normal at certain ages. 'ock, ock' is so cute!
janewhite1
12-04-2008, 09:52 PM
As far as pronouncing things correctly, I have never met a child younger than three who said much of anything understandable to people outside his family. Forming words correctly is hard, it's a fine motor skill, really. Some babies may talk a lot, and I'm sure they know what they're saying, but other people usually don't!
E1979
12-07-2008, 09:27 PM
Well thanks ladies for all the comforting reassurance. It seems like over night he just started saying more words.
No if someone can just help me figure out how to get him to stop hitting ALL THE TIME I would be worry free! ;)
No if someone can just help me figure out how to get him to stop hitting ALL THE TIME I would be worry free! ;)