grettle7
11-29-2008, 07:53 PM
please someone give me some answers. i have been having disturbing thoughts that have overtaken me. things i would never act on ,crying alot over them. is this ocd or depression or both? i stay at home alot dont feel like everybody else. very lonely and scared. i started going to therapy but havnt really started yet because i have to go to a public health clinic because of no insurance and the first 3 visits have been paperwork required by the state. i feel like im getting worse. im always trying to dx myself and even getting more worried. god am i schitzo or bi polar???? can your mind actually make you think that you are. i find no joy in anything anymore and will god ever forgive me for my thoughts? how can you live a normal life knowing that you have had these thoughts. my prospective has changed so much because of this. yes i was sexually abused as a child by 2 different relatives. had a bad marriage(alcohol and eventually drug addict) and everything that goes with it. lost my home and everything over it. met a man that was so sweet (at first) helped me out by moving myself and my daughter into his home and that was a big mistake. he was a control freak, and emotionally abusive and physically abusive. moved out and felt really good and positive for about a year. met the love of my life and fell deeply in love he was so much like me very supoportive and caring. he lived out of town but he drove to see me every other weekend. spent a wonderful xmas together. i felt love like no other. then my bad thoughts started and havnt stopped. in the meantime my ex decided it was getting too much for him to come down anymore and he had alot of personal issues to deal with. i thought my life was over. cred for days. we still keep a friendly relationship but the pain is still there for me. i miss him terribly but i feel im getting sttronger with it. im just really scared at this point with my sanity. isolation is bad for me i have so many strange thoughts that dont go away so any answers for me? is this the beginning of schizo or ocd? any answers would be helpful thanks
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cuts84
12-01-2008, 02:33 AM
The obtrusive thoughts you speak of could certainly be a symptom of OCD. However, your situation is obviously complex and what you are suffering from could be due to a variety of things, not just one single factor. I would say that the majority of people here are not going to be qualified to tell you whether you may be bipolar, schizo, etc. I would say that you will need to talk to a doctor to get a proper diagnosis. However, based on what you are saying, OCD could definately be part of it. I wish you all the best though...do you have any hobbies or activities that you like to do? This can help to keep your mind off of things until you get a chance to visit the doctor.
grettle7
12-01-2008, 07:17 PM
thanks so much for the response. your right only a doctor can dx. i guess i just want a quick fix but that is not going to happen. ive just never felt like this before and its quite scary. thanks again
cuts84
12-01-2008, 07:48 PM
No problem. Hope everything works out for you!
grettle7
12-02-2008, 12:07 AM
No problem. Hope everything works out for you!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. YES I WILL SAY THAT I AM A VERY SICK GIRL RIGHT NOW. AT LEAST I KNOW I AM RIGHT? ITS SO EXTREMELY HARD TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SHY EVEN AS REMEMBER AS A CHILD. WHEN I TURNED 18 AND MOVED OUT OF TOWN. I STARTED HAVING A NERVOUS STOMACH THEREFORE I HAD THIS THING THAT I WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO VOMIT. LIKE A VOMIT PHOBIA(YUK) IT SUBSIDED THOUGH. THEN WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS LITTLE (SHE WAS VERY ACTIVE) SHE WAS RUNNING FROM ME AND IT WAS ABOUT 100DEGREES OUT AND I FELT VERY ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS AND FELT SUDDENLY THAT I COULDNT CATCH MY BREATH SO THAT STARTED A FEW MONTH LONG CYCLE OF AFRAID OUT IN PUBLIC I WOULD HAVE A ANXIETY ATTACK AND QUIT BREATHING. EVEN WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS SHORT OF BREATH. ACTUALLY THEY SAID I HYPERVENILATED. SO IN REALITY IVE ALWAYS HAD ISSUES. FEARS HAVE SUBSIDED FOR YEARS BUT ARE COMING BACK. THANKS FOR READING SORRY IF I SOUND STRANGE
THANK YOU SO MUCH. YES I WILL SAY THAT I AM A VERY SICK GIRL RIGHT NOW. AT LEAST I KNOW I AM RIGHT? ITS SO EXTREMELY HARD TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SHY EVEN AS REMEMBER AS A CHILD. WHEN I TURNED 18 AND MOVED OUT OF TOWN. I STARTED HAVING A NERVOUS STOMACH THEREFORE I HAD THIS THING THAT I WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO VOMIT. LIKE A VOMIT PHOBIA(YUK) IT SUBSIDED THOUGH. THEN WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS LITTLE (SHE WAS VERY ACTIVE) SHE WAS RUNNING FROM ME AND IT WAS ABOUT 100DEGREES OUT AND I FELT VERY ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS AND FELT SUDDENLY THAT I COULDNT CATCH MY BREATH SO THAT STARTED A FEW MONTH LONG CYCLE OF AFRAID OUT IN PUBLIC I WOULD HAVE A ANXIETY ATTACK AND QUIT BREATHING. EVEN WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS SHORT OF BREATH. ACTUALLY THEY SAID I HYPERVENILATED. SO IN REALITY IVE ALWAYS HAD ISSUES. FEARS HAVE SUBSIDED FOR YEARS BUT ARE COMING BACK. THANKS FOR READING SORRY IF I SOUND STRANGE
cuts84
12-02-2008, 01:24 AM
I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know panic attacks can be very frightening and tough to stop. I don't think I have ever had a real panic attack but I have probably been close when in tight spaces...I am a little claustrophobic. Also, last week I got off at an exit in the bad part of town where I didn't know my way around. It was at night and I wasn't used to being in this area and started to freak out thinking I wouldn't be able to find my way back to the interstate without getting carjacked or something. I was alright as long as I was moving but I kept coming to red lights and I would have to stop...there were a lot of people just standing on the side of the street and it was freaking me out. Then I turned on to a side road thinking that it would take me back to the interstate but it just led to a dark alley way that dead-ended. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack and my heart was racing and I had trouble catching my breath. Luckily, I found my way back to the interstate and everything was fine and I calmed down. I am usually not really bothered by that kind of stuff but for some reason, I had just started imagining getting car jacked, shot, etc and my mind got the best of me and I just started freaking out. It is really incredible how much power our minds have over us. The trick is to be able to use your mind to generate postive thoughts and feel confident and happy with yourself. And no, you don't sound strange!