Well I tested today 13dpo and it was another BFN. I honestly have started to feel like it is never going to happen for me. After my m/c, I kept thinking positive, that it was a good sign because it meant I could get pregnant, even if I couldn't keep it. I just knew I would get pg again. And yet I haven't, and I'm starting to feel really scared and hopeless as each new BFN comes up month after month. I'm running out of time too, as I just turned 40. I am going to start my first IVF next month, but it costs a fortune, my insurance doesn't cover it, and at my age, the statistics are not great. I really don't know how much more disappointment I can bear. Will I go through life childless? I am beginning to think so. It's really hard to keep a positive outlook when it feels like the walls are closing in.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies. I really appreciate your support.

Amy

Amy,
I am so sorry that this is happening to you! Sometimes life is so unfair. Has AF arrived yet? If not, you could still be pregnant. If AF doesn't arrive in a few days.... test again. Maybe the hsg wasn't strong enough.

Again, I am sorry that you are going through this!
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

amyttc,

sorry the test read bfn. maybe the hcg is not elevated enough for that test. for what it's worth i've seen a lot of women in their 40's become pg with ivf.
best of luck with yours. i'll pray for you that you get a BFP.


*****baby dust to you*****

[This message has been edited by kramars (edited 09-07-2003).]

Oh Amy I am so sorry you got a BFN. I truly understand wondering if this is going to happen or not, as I just went through this when AF arrived. Try to not give up hope until AF shows and I hope and pray that she won't!! We are all here for you feel free to vent anytime, we all need to at some point!

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Jody

Amy,
I am so sorry you had to look at a BFN. I know you must be hurting so much. I hope the IVF will work for you. The general success rates for IVF are so much higher than IUI regardless of your age. I don't want you to give up hope of being a Mom. We are all here rooting for you!
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Becca

AMY (((HUGS))) That is so unfair... I really wanted it to happen for you. How many IUI did you have done? When did you m/c? Would you be starting IVF straight away? You might respond to the drugs very well and have twins at the very last minute!!!!! I'll be praying for you Amy & I really hope the first IVF will be succesful and you don't have to worry about anything anymore and become the best Mummy http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

The best of luck & let us know if AF is here or not and what's happening next.
Love,
SARKA

Dear Amy

I'm so sorry for your BFN. I know exactly how you feel. I've just turned 38 and never been preggie after 3.5 years of trying. It seems like it always happens to other people and I'm ashamed to say that every time I hear about someone getting pregnant (even from these boards) I just end up feeling jealous.

I pretty much believe now that it will never happen to me. I so long to feel the kick of a baby in my belly but don't dare hold out any hope. I've been through the rigours of drugs, investigative procedures and one IVF cycle, which failed. I've just had a single embryo transferred which was all that was left over from my IVF but chances of that establishing a pregnancy are apparently less that 10%.

I don't want to be too self-pitying or sound like a complete misery, but I hope that it's helped to hear that other people are in the same situation and experiencing the same feelings as you.

I truly wish you the best of luck and whereas I don't have too much hope for myself, I always have loads for other people. So look after yourself and take care - you won't feel like this forever.
Clare
xx

Amy,
I'm so sorry to hear your results. It's true that IVF has a MUCH better chance of working than IUI. It's very expensive but your odds are so much better. If you can afford to do one fresh IVF cycle and they can freeze some of the embryos, then you can do a second cycle for much less money and physical strain than the first. So the first cycle is really an investment, and many women who are 40 do have success. All the better that you know you've been pregnant once before.

Good luck, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your sweet messages. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Thank you all so much! I got up this morning and AF found me right away. I've been feeling awful, but when I went on-line just now and saw all your messages waiting for me and read all the kind things you had to say, it made me feel really supported. So sincere thanks to all of you!

Sarka, here's my history and thanks for asking. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts. I've been ttc for more than two years now. (DH and I married when I was 37). I have moderate PCOS (I do ovulate on my own just irregularly) and basically the first year of ttc (without medical help) was a waste because of uterine polyps which were preventing me from getting pg. After surgery to remove the polyps, I got pg naturally a few months later, but then m/c in May of this year at only 6 weeks. (Doctors suspect that m/c so early was due to my age/bad egg). Since then I've done two cycles of IUI's with Gonal-F and progesterone but both were BFNs. Last cycle was natural because cysts prevented any drug treatment.
Btw, I just turned 40 a week ago, so this is all hitting me at once. I'm told the chance of success for an IVF cycle at my age is 32%. I think I would feel a lot less discouraged if it weren't for my age. So there it is. Your opinions would be most welcome!!

You are all the best and your support means the world to me. I am hoping for great news for all of you.

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

Amy

Amy,

So sorry for your BFN http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif

As a fellow over-40'er, I know how you feel. I'm actually 42, so my odds of anything are really low, but I'm still trying (any maybe running out of steam). I would definitely go the IVF route quickly - I tried 5 rounds clomid, then 2 rounds injectibles. On Clomid, I ovulated, so they thought I was OK - but by the time I got to injectibles, they can't get any follies. I took a one month break due to a cyst and now they can't even get my period to start - it's been 2 months and I took provera - even that didn't work.

So, my 1 month break is turning into 3 months. I really wish we had been more aggressive, maybe 1 month clomid, 1 month injectibles, then IVF - because I would have still been ovulating then - but now, I may never be able to generate any eggs.

So, like you said, I am starting down the mental path of resigning to remaining childless. I have been so down this last week I can barely stand it.

But it sounds like you still have options, I wouldn't be too discouraged yet - just be as aggressive as you are comfortable and can afford!

Also, do you remember Old Flo - she's PG! She was doing acupuncture - I am going to start doing it to.

I am thinking of you and praying that this will work for you. Keep your spirits up, it will help towards pg!!!!

Thanks, Olderwoman. I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. This ttc stuff is so hard and it just gets harder as you get older. I will be keeping my hopes up for you.
That is great news about Old Flo. Do you know more about how long she did acupuncture and how old she was when she finally got pg? I have been trying acupuncture with no luck yet, but it would be great to hear more about such a good story.

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Amy