craftygirl3
12-17-2008, 06:55 PM
on the 21st thru the 28th me and my partner are going away to a hotel here in town for Christmas. that means we will be in the same bed, it is a king but still the same. we have gone away twice before for 1 night, and this last summer for my b-day for 2 nights. 7 nights eight days. a very nice hotel.
Problem is that we don't sleep together. the only time we have ever slept with each other in the 3 1/2 years were the 3 nights in the hotels. we live in a situation were we have separate sleeping and living areas. and it is great.
I sleep alone due to the nightmares and the kicking and fighting in my sleep. the last two times were okay. they weren't very long, and I wasn't working on all of this stuff and my sleep was more stable.
he is a light sleeper. he knows I may wake up screaming. as it has been happening more as of late.
I am worried. we both know what could happen how good it can be and how challenging this can be. I have been excited, now I am worried as the date gets closer.
:eek: cg3
Problem is that we don't sleep together. the only time we have ever slept with each other in the 3 1/2 years were the 3 nights in the hotels. we live in a situation were we have separate sleeping and living areas. and it is great.
I sleep alone due to the nightmares and the kicking and fighting in my sleep. the last two times were okay. they weren't very long, and I wasn't working on all of this stuff and my sleep was more stable.
he is a light sleeper. he knows I may wake up screaming. as it has been happening more as of late.
I am worried. we both know what could happen how good it can be and how challenging this can be. I have been excited, now I am worried as the date gets closer.
:eek: cg3
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writeleft
12-17-2008, 08:55 PM
craftygirl,
I think you are wise to think this out ahead of time, and I would encourage you to share these concerns openly with your partner right away. It sounds like he is already well aware of your sleeping challenges, and has great understanding by now. With open communication going, this may be the perfect opportunity to overcome a bit more anxiety about sleeping together. Remember, this could also be a very meaningful holiday to share with your man, and bring you that much closer. I wish you well, and enjoy every minute.
You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.
I think you are wise to think this out ahead of time, and I would encourage you to share these concerns openly with your partner right away. It sounds like he is already well aware of your sleeping challenges, and has great understanding by now. With open communication going, this may be the perfect opportunity to overcome a bit more anxiety about sleeping together. Remember, this could also be a very meaningful holiday to share with your man, and bring you that much closer. I wish you well, and enjoy every minute.
You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.
maybecrazy
12-18-2008, 12:53 AM
craftygirl,
You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.
I was going to suggest two singles but two queens sounds a much better option then you can share if you feel safe to do so and can also go to your own bed if you need space
have a great holiday with your partner - they already know how you are at night so i am sure they will be understanding and supportive of your needs - you deserve to have a great time so have one MBC
p.s., does going to bed really really tired help with the nightmares? maybe after wearing yourself out having fun during the day?
You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.
I was going to suggest two singles but two queens sounds a much better option then you can share if you feel safe to do so and can also go to your own bed if you need space
have a great holiday with your partner - they already know how you are at night so i am sure they will be understanding and supportive of your needs - you deserve to have a great time so have one MBC
p.s., does going to bed really really tired help with the nightmares? maybe after wearing yourself out having fun during the day?
captnanny
12-18-2008, 05:01 AM
I agree that requesting two queens is a good idea and if they don't then it sounds like your partner understands very well how you feel and maybe you can talk about how to deal with the anxiety and how if there is a couch someone could sleep there for a while. I know that is probably real uncomfortable. One thing that might help is that you are having these flashbacks in your bed at home. You are going to a nice place that your body is not used to sleeping in. You may feel relaxed and have enough fun to enjoy a different setting.
I hope you have a good time.
I hope you have a good time.
craftygirl3
12-20-2008, 01:22 AM
I booked the hotel online on one of those name your own prices so we are locked into a king. went and saw the hotel today and the room, *very* nice! not allot of frills but still wonderful. I had my fits the last 2 days. someone bought us an extra night, so it goes from Sunday at 3pm to monday noon. 8 nights 9 days. I am actually looking forward to this, and I will bring my own pillow and a blanket(one of my favorite wubbies) and my auto pap, and my meds. I thinks he is going to keep me so busy with the pool, and games and just together time that it will be okay. and the hotel has internet so I won't be totally out of the loop. we spent most of the day today, together doing some next to last minute errands, and were great today. he is extremely supportive. the last couple of times he was the one scared. we both have problems with sleep, panic, PTSD, and other things. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. we eventually are gonna have to get used to this. it is still really scary. I appreciate all of the support. thanks guys.:bouncing:
craftygirl3
12-20-2008, 01:34 AM
oh and nothing helps with the nightmares, except very high doses of things that I don't want to take. he will keep me busy, and if I wake up with one of my (screaming vomiting thrashing) he will be there to help.
I have slept alone for 4 years now, before that always slept with whoever I was with and I had a steady bed mate from 17 to 34. (well 4 in all over the years) and they regularly got the snot beat out of them.
I was really scared to sleep alone at first, now I love it. the nice thing is that I don't have to be with him 24/7 for all of this. I can go swimming walking, or play on the internet. and we will be doing fun stuff. and if he decides to talk politics I can alway start singing..
this is supposed to be our time away from everything and everyone.
I know that it is so much more in my head. he is doing everything he can to make this better. and I love him for that. I just have to (yeah right) relax and enjoy.:dizzy:
I am tweaking. thanks guys cg3:angel:
I have slept alone for 4 years now, before that always slept with whoever I was with and I had a steady bed mate from 17 to 34. (well 4 in all over the years) and they regularly got the snot beat out of them.
I was really scared to sleep alone at first, now I love it. the nice thing is that I don't have to be with him 24/7 for all of this. I can go swimming walking, or play on the internet. and we will be doing fun stuff. and if he decides to talk politics I can alway start singing..
this is supposed to be our time away from everything and everyone.
I know that it is so much more in my head. he is doing everything he can to make this better. and I love him for that. I just have to (yeah right) relax and enjoy.:dizzy:
I am tweaking. thanks guys cg3:angel:
maybecrazy
12-21-2008, 07:27 AM
he sounds like a keeper :) and it sounds like you have everything organised - so all you have to do now is enjoy it! :)
Take care and have a lovely holiday MBC:D
Take care and have a lovely holiday MBC:D
craftygirl3
12-21-2008, 05:09 PM
under 3 hrs to check in. he is a keeper. I think I have been on vacation since yesterday. I will have the best time. I am still tweaking but it's good here. just a few things to finish up, then I'm gone. I will check in with you guys though. I am pasting my bookmarks into an email.
cg3:jester:
cg3:jester:
maybecrazy
12-23-2008, 06:20 PM
hope you are having a great holiday adn that you are not having too many ... or any symptoms - take care MBC:)
craftygirl3
01-02-2009, 06:30 PM
hey, I'm back! went great, only had nightmares last night, so not to bad. love to all.:p
maybecrazy
01-02-2009, 11:49 PM
ABSOLUTELY FNATASTIC ! and yes Im shouting!!! :D:D:D another step towards healing checked off the list! well done :D:):D
craftygirl3
01-06-2009, 03:36 AM
thanks MBC. I am so tired. I am happy and stronger. stronger than I have ever been. and I figured out that it is okay if he loves me, I need to let him. ya know what? when I was sleeping he rubbed my back and stoked my hair and I *didn't* even wake up. I have never slept so well with another person in my whole life. I look forward to the day when we can get a 2 bedroom together. I am no longer afraid. I miss having him next to me at night.
love and time, and I have both. it gets better.
who would of thunk? cg3:dizzy:
love and time, and I have both. it gets better.
who would of thunk? cg3:dizzy:
captnanny
01-06-2009, 06:44 AM
Sounds like a great vacation both emotionally and fun. You let yourself feel your husbands love for you, yeah. I don't want to scare you by talking about it because I think missing him is a great step. Have you had any nightmares since you've been back? Something must have happened on that vacation, don't try to guess what it was just accept it. You are a brave brave person and such a support to us here on this board. :)
maybecrazy
01-06-2009, 07:33 PM
I am so happy for you cg3, thats real progress :)