mike1978
12-25-2008, 12:23 PM
Im not trying to diagnose my ex girlfriend - If possible I would like some feedback if her symptoms sound anythign like ocd...its been a rough road with her, she has in the past said something along the lines of she is slightly OC as she called it - we have been somewhat trying to work on things, but its at a point it time where she needs to open up to me.I am very open minded when it comes to things that people dont have alot of control over...I myself have a skin problem that I cant do anything about... so im pretty understanding....
If she believes in something, it's pretty much written in stone,,, there is no getting her to bend or see out of the lines if she feels a certain way about something... VERY stubborn - will not look at anything other than the way she sees it!
Cannot take any form of critism whatsoever.. it will turn into a argument and screaming match if I were to tell her something that bothers me that she may have done... then she will proceed to compare things ive done in the past and say it was just as bad,, rather than understanding and learning from what I was trying to express in the first place..
no such thing as a talk/argument - it always turns into her screaming & yelling.. no thing as a "fair" fight she is {{extremely manipulative}}..She HAS to win whether or not she is 100% wrong, and will say whatever she needs to to win,, usually turns into her putting me down..
She HAS to have control of a situation -If something does not go her way, or the way she planned, the s@it hits the fan... WE faught ALOT and I believe it was because she felt she did not have totall control of me...Ive never cheated and had no intentions to be with anyone but her.. But it was always constant fighting and me reasuring about it.. The whol relationship I felt like i was on defensive and always had to fight my way out fo a situation she took the wrong way..
She did say that she take's eveything in the worst possible situation because you might as well.... if something doesnt go her way or work out like she had hoped she becomes easily depressed
She is never wrong - and would never admitt to being wrong -in a year and a half I dont believe she has ever apologized for anything!
She has a hard time showing caring emotions - making any sexuall advances,
She doesnt fully trust anyone, and feels your eventually going to get screwed over...
If she things your mad at her she will instanly throw an attitude and be 2x as mad back
She is very competitive, or so I think? {unless she obsesses with with what everyone else has and does.. she is always comparing... sometimes I dont know if she is her own person {if this makes sense?} It really does seem she is VERY competitive, it hard to explain
when she becomes hungry or tired - she becomes VERY moody VERY fast
When she was a kid her mom had to brush her hair for forever until it was {perfect}
she lost an auction on ebay for a tent - she got pissed off said she wanted to write the guy that won it a nasty email , and he was a $#%^$&...
She always wants something,, and she is very dertimined to get what she wants.... untill she gets what she wants she ISNT happy....
When she get {very}mad she acts like she is about 7 - crosses her arms slams doors , wont talk , excludes herself.....
She has throw fits - in public.... and in front of family members, and friends - I feel being mad about something is one thing - but wait untill the moment is right to talk about it.. on a scale of 1 to 10 her anger starts at a 1-2 and goes straight to 8 no inbetween... it always seems she is angry about something ,, she never seems happy go lucky... always seems she is very negative...
she feels like she hasnt done anything with her life,, but the honest truth is she has done {alot} more than most other people her age...
She constantly worrys about things, her family realizes this , her mom has always she worries to much.. but I really dont know if they understand what she is dealing with? Her sister told me when I first met her that no one can seem to handle her but she thinks im a nice guy and we would work...
Ive said enough I feel like im bashing her.,,, everything I wrote above isnt always like that...but tis much more than should be... Im at a point of wiping my hands and walking away... I really would like to talk to her about this if possible.. I do realize its most likely not her personaltiy and is something she cannot control.. Her being single shis a loveable and a fun girl... it seems its when you incorporate a boyfriend into the picture...
If she believes in something, it's pretty much written in stone,,, there is no getting her to bend or see out of the lines if she feels a certain way about something... VERY stubborn - will not look at anything other than the way she sees it!
Cannot take any form of critism whatsoever.. it will turn into a argument and screaming match if I were to tell her something that bothers me that she may have done... then she will proceed to compare things ive done in the past and say it was just as bad,, rather than understanding and learning from what I was trying to express in the first place..
no such thing as a talk/argument - it always turns into her screaming & yelling.. no thing as a "fair" fight she is {{extremely manipulative}}..She HAS to win whether or not she is 100% wrong, and will say whatever she needs to to win,, usually turns into her putting me down..
She HAS to have control of a situation -If something does not go her way, or the way she planned, the s@it hits the fan... WE faught ALOT and I believe it was because she felt she did not have totall control of me...Ive never cheated and had no intentions to be with anyone but her.. But it was always constant fighting and me reasuring about it.. The whol relationship I felt like i was on defensive and always had to fight my way out fo a situation she took the wrong way..
She did say that she take's eveything in the worst possible situation because you might as well.... if something doesnt go her way or work out like she had hoped she becomes easily depressed
She is never wrong - and would never admitt to being wrong -in a year and a half I dont believe she has ever apologized for anything!
She has a hard time showing caring emotions - making any sexuall advances,
She doesnt fully trust anyone, and feels your eventually going to get screwed over...
If she things your mad at her she will instanly throw an attitude and be 2x as mad back
She is very competitive, or so I think? {unless she obsesses with with what everyone else has and does.. she is always comparing... sometimes I dont know if she is her own person {if this makes sense?} It really does seem she is VERY competitive, it hard to explain
when she becomes hungry or tired - she becomes VERY moody VERY fast
When she was a kid her mom had to brush her hair for forever until it was {perfect}
she lost an auction on ebay for a tent - she got pissed off said she wanted to write the guy that won it a nasty email , and he was a $#%^$&...
She always wants something,, and she is very dertimined to get what she wants.... untill she gets what she wants she ISNT happy....
When she get {very}mad she acts like she is about 7 - crosses her arms slams doors , wont talk , excludes herself.....
She has throw fits - in public.... and in front of family members, and friends - I feel being mad about something is one thing - but wait untill the moment is right to talk about it.. on a scale of 1 to 10 her anger starts at a 1-2 and goes straight to 8 no inbetween... it always seems she is angry about something ,, she never seems happy go lucky... always seems she is very negative...
she feels like she hasnt done anything with her life,, but the honest truth is she has done {alot} more than most other people her age...
She constantly worrys about things, her family realizes this , her mom has always she worries to much.. but I really dont know if they understand what she is dealing with? Her sister told me when I first met her that no one can seem to handle her but she thinks im a nice guy and we would work...
Ive said enough I feel like im bashing her.,,, everything I wrote above isnt always like that...but tis much more than should be... Im at a point of wiping my hands and walking away... I really would like to talk to her about this if possible.. I do realize its most likely not her personaltiy and is something she cannot control.. Her being single shis a loveable and a fun girl... it seems its when you incorporate a boyfriend into the picture...
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rosequartz
12-25-2008, 01:55 PM
I'm not sure about the OCD......I have OCD and I don't act like that, I don't throw tantrums in public (or private for that matter).
Sounds more like she has BPD, borderline personality disorder. Do a little research and see if it fits.
Sounds more like she has BPD, borderline personality disorder. Do a little research and see if it fits.
mike1978
12-26-2008, 02:19 PM
Thanks for the reply! I did a little research on BPD. It partially sounds like her, but the criteria isnt really her.... Everything I had read about ocd sounds more liker her... It's also very possible she may have more than 1 condition?
The whole tantrum thing happens when she boils over....she is very perticular to her {rules} thaught and her beliefs... if she doesnt get what she wants within reason,, or deosnt like what she hears and it continues she will eventually hit a 9 or a 10 and get pissed of and let it all out right there...I think she is alot more [O] than c... she tends to obsess over things....
actually anything she doesnt have full control over.....
The whole tantrum thing happens when she boils over....she is very perticular to her {rules} thaught and her beliefs... if she doesnt get what she wants within reason,, or deosnt like what she hears and it continues she will eventually hit a 9 or a 10 and get pissed of and let it all out right there...I think she is alot more [O] than c... she tends to obsess over things....
actually anything she doesnt have full control over.....
rosequartz
12-26-2008, 02:24 PM
well there is a thing called "pure O", and that's people that obcess, but don't have the compulsions.
Oh yes it's very possible she has more than one condition.....
So she's your ex? That's good because I was going to say, whatever her condition, she sounds like a spoiled brat and not someone who would be very easy to live with or be in a relationship with.......
Oh yes it's very possible she has more than one condition.....
So she's your ex? That's good because I was going to say, whatever her condition, she sounds like a spoiled brat and not someone who would be very easy to live with or be in a relationship with.......
mike1978
12-26-2008, 03:38 PM
Hey rosequartz if you remember back a few weeks I made a post on the relationship forum. About her not wanting to works thing out because my sister had an ex girfriend of over 5 years ago on her faceb00k page.. I believe you may have responded to that post...
The pure O was something that has def been in my mind.. I can think of a few things that might be compulsions?, but nothing like I have read about..seems like its more just obsessions... she is a very friendly person when she goes out and what not.. but im begining to think thats all fake anymore....I have a willing heart if its something she doesnt have totally control and is something she is willing to get help for and work on,,, but if thats her true personality then she gets what she deserves..
The pure O was something that has def been in my mind.. I can think of a few things that might be compulsions?, but nothing like I have read about..seems like its more just obsessions... she is a very friendly person when she goes out and what not.. but im begining to think thats all fake anymore....I have a willing heart if its something she doesnt have totally control and is something she is willing to get help for and work on,,, but if thats her true personality then she gets what she deserves..
rosequartz
12-26-2008, 05:18 PM
Mike - I remember......I think your best bet is to move on to someone a little more emotionally healthy......
yes these may be obcessions.....but she's also very controlling to expect the rest of the world to conform to her standards......
yes these may be obcessions.....but she's also very controlling to expect the rest of the world to conform to her standards......