Lis83
12-30-2008, 09:24 PM
Hi,
I have been diagnosed with OCD for several years. Ive noticed that in my relationships I get into a pattern of worrying they are cheating on me. One time I was actually right. I recently met a really good man who had a close friend who was a girl when I met him. He rarely talks to her now and claims they just kind of hung out because it was convienient. She went out on dates while they hung out as friends. He has given me every reason to believe he is an honest man, yet once again I find myself obsessed with the thought he could cheat on me. It just repeats in my head over and over and over again, the way it did the previous times Ive dated. It is like no matter what he says I cant stop dwelling on it. It is like I am on a witch hunt to prove he will hurt me like the others did. And the thing is I try really hard not to think about it, but it is like a broken record and when I think about it I get very panicky just like I do with other OCD stuff. He is super supportive and kind about the whole thing, but I dont want my fear to ruin a good relationship, help! Does this sound like a form of OCD?
I have been diagnosed with OCD for several years. Ive noticed that in my relationships I get into a pattern of worrying they are cheating on me. One time I was actually right. I recently met a really good man who had a close friend who was a girl when I met him. He rarely talks to her now and claims they just kind of hung out because it was convienient. She went out on dates while they hung out as friends. He has given me every reason to believe he is an honest man, yet once again I find myself obsessed with the thought he could cheat on me. It just repeats in my head over and over and over again, the way it did the previous times Ive dated. It is like no matter what he says I cant stop dwelling on it. It is like I am on a witch hunt to prove he will hurt me like the others did. And the thing is I try really hard not to think about it, but it is like a broken record and when I think about it I get very panicky just like I do with other OCD stuff. He is super supportive and kind about the whole thing, but I dont want my fear to ruin a good relationship, help! Does this sound like a form of OCD?
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Captain OCD
12-31-2008, 07:13 PM
Hi!
It sounds like relationship-OCD to me, and the fact that you needed to get on here to post about says enough about the persistent nature of the problem. The other thing that suggests that it is OCD-related is the way it repeats over and over as if it is a broken record. You feel like it's this mental Rubik's cube that you could solve if only if you would keep at it a little longer, but this is an illusion. The problem is not necessarily what you are worrying about (although there could of course be substance to it as well), but the way your mind is handling it. With OCD there is this sense in which things "stick" to your mind like peanut butter sandwich on white bread might stick to the roof of your mouth, and with other people the sandwich seems dislodge with relative ease. For people like us, we tongue at that sandwich until it is the center of our universe, and reality inevitably becomes very distorted as a result of this hyperfocusing.
I have had rOCD for years, and therapy and meds have helped a lot. I don't feel like my OCD manages me anymore -- I manage it now more than anything else, although I must admit it is always a challenge.
Here is a good link that I go to periodically. I find it very helpful, and I hope you do as well. Whether you decide to pursue therapy or not I would be happy to dialog with you on here. It helps me too! :) My name is Captain OCD (at least on here!). :) I would be happy to share coping strategies, suggestions for therapy, etc.
I hope this has helped. Take care, and give yourself permission to rest your mind. Sometimes the act of choosing to postpone worrying -- to say, "Okay, I know I could worry about this till I puke right now, but really, I could do this just as well tomorrow at 6:00 p.m." -- actually works. You may or may not be able to do this, but it's a suggestion. Anyway, take care! :)
Championing OCD-ers Everywhere, :)
Captain OCD
It sounds like relationship-OCD to me, and the fact that you needed to get on here to post about says enough about the persistent nature of the problem. The other thing that suggests that it is OCD-related is the way it repeats over and over as if it is a broken record. You feel like it's this mental Rubik's cube that you could solve if only if you would keep at it a little longer, but this is an illusion. The problem is not necessarily what you are worrying about (although there could of course be substance to it as well), but the way your mind is handling it. With OCD there is this sense in which things "stick" to your mind like peanut butter sandwich on white bread might stick to the roof of your mouth, and with other people the sandwich seems dislodge with relative ease. For people like us, we tongue at that sandwich until it is the center of our universe, and reality inevitably becomes very distorted as a result of this hyperfocusing.
I have had rOCD for years, and therapy and meds have helped a lot. I don't feel like my OCD manages me anymore -- I manage it now more than anything else, although I must admit it is always a challenge.
Here is a good link that I go to periodically. I find it very helpful, and I hope you do as well. Whether you decide to pursue therapy or not I would be happy to dialog with you on here. It helps me too! :) My name is Captain OCD (at least on here!). :) I would be happy to share coping strategies, suggestions for therapy, etc.
I hope this has helped. Take care, and give yourself permission to rest your mind. Sometimes the act of choosing to postpone worrying -- to say, "Okay, I know I could worry about this till I puke right now, but really, I could do this just as well tomorrow at 6:00 p.m." -- actually works. You may or may not be able to do this, but it's a suggestion. Anyway, take care! :)
Championing OCD-ers Everywhere, :)
Captain OCD